episode_0032

People used to praise the knight Lavender as just and honorable.

Sometimes they say strange things, but apart from that, there are no flaws in her personal life.

Knowing her reputation, Lavender never gave up her habit of speaking her mind.

It was a matter of pride for her that she came from a place without the barbarism of this medieval fantasy world, and recalling modern memories was a way to avoid being tainted by that barbarism.

At the same time, it was a longing for a homeland that only existed in her memories, a way to alleviate the loneliness of being a stranger in an era with a different mindset.

Because of this loneliness, she sometimes had thoughts.

Since she wouldn’t be understood anyway, wouldn’t it be easier to give up trying to fulfill a meager sense of justice and just act like everyone else?

“But that’s not what we know.”

This one sentence to Lycia contained that meaning.

And seeing the girl make a better choice than herself, surprisingly, brought a sense of relief.

For Lavender, this dark world was proof that morals and goodness existed, and living a life for that purpose meant it could be understood.

Therefore, once she confirmed this fact, she readily accepted the girl’s request.

“Alright, let’s go then.”

Having caught a glimpse of hope, it was only natural to place more expectations.

*****

The most pressing issue of Lycia’s safety had been resolved.

The quest to reclaim the city from the bandits was honorable enough and promised to bring in a lot of money. There was no reason not to go to Filah.

But more than practical issues, it was a moment when thoughts began to complicate her mind.

What was the reason I wanted to become a knight in the first place?

Was it for the glory, the prospect of earning money, or the romance of dreaming of being a mage in a difficult medieval fantasy world?

So she stood against the bandits in the previous incident to protect a village.

It was an inevitable situation, and in the process, to maintain her pride and reputation as a knight.

Then why did I realize the true nature and reality of being a knight and still continue a peasant’s life?

Even if I had briefly trained as a knight, it would have been fine to become a guard, or even learn farming skills late in life since there would be no lord who would refuse a free peasant.

But I didn’t do that. Instead, I sought the answer from my master.

It was an old memory. It had been about a year since I started living as a peasant. It was enough time to understand how the world worked.

Innocent people dying under the invasion of barbarians and heretics.

Above all, seeing knights who survived leaving behind those people and receiving promised rewards, only to take away the protection fee, made me say to my master.

“This world is too messed up, master.”

“It looks good as usual, what’s the problem?”

“It’s not what I imagined. I thought it would be better than this, not filled with dreams and hopes but at least better than this.”

“So what do you want me to do about it? Break the other arm too?”

After knocking down those arrogant knights, my master, who was resting in the church with a broken arm, waved his intact arm.

At this moment, just like I had my own expectations of this world, I was also disappointed in my own way.

It’s a medieval fantasy world. The world I saw a lot in my past life.

But all I see and smell here is dirt and blood. Where are the romance, adventure, knightly honor, and status screens?

Is there a third chance in life? If I die here, what comes next? Will I be born in a cyberpunk world? And will I have the talent to live as a chicken there?

I spoke, trying to push away the meaningless thoughts that were popping up one by one as my mind grew weary.

“…So, are you saying that all the injustices in the world can never be eliminated?”

“What, salvation? Does that mean I’ll become an adult, no, a god?”

“You’re being blasphemous. There’s a subtitle-”

“Damn, what a bunch of nonsense. When did you become so faithful? If the world is screwed up, stop whining and start solving the problems in front of you. Everyone knows the world is a mess, so if you fail, who will you blame?”

“….”

“In a world where offering a helping hand in difficult times is rare. Dark times indeed.”

“So, what should I do then…?”

“I told you. Charge in first. Charge in and then think. Knights are just a term for ignorant people who only know how to charge recklessly. Succeeding is salvation, and if you fail, a few curses will be the end of it.”

There are laws, but they are not enforced, there is order, but if I keep it, others do not. That’s why the world has become irrational and cruel.

I didn’t like that. It was frustrating that the opportunity of a second life that I had obtained was in this form, and I wanted to overcome it boldly and then flip the bird.

“If you want to receive the salvation that you so emptily cry out for in the church, start by pulling others out of that pit. I can’t ask everyone to do that, but at least start with the injustices happening right in front of you.”

“…Then.”

“Then you will soon receive salvation- or something like that. I studied theology a bit when I was young, you know? I didn’t delve too deep into it, but that’s what they said when I was learning.”

The teacher, who once had smooth eyes, now had wrinkles forming around them as he aged. And not only his arms but his whole body bore scars, making him look outwardly shabby.

Yet, he was someone who, in this world, was still just a figure found in poetry and novels, something everyone admired but was only a facade, the ideal of a knight that everyone longed for, I knew.

He was certainly someone who could be considered just.

So, when an orphan like me, who had nothing, asked him to take me in as a disciple, he would have readily agreed.

The songs sung by the storytellers who escaped from the mines were the same.

Respect and help the weak. Preserve honesty and faithfulness and uphold honor. And fight for just cause without turning your back on the enemy.

These were the virtues to be embraced to remain human, not just a thug.

Even compared to modern times, there were values that were even more worthy of being upheld in an era where there was no concept of human rights. I wanted to uphold them and leave them as a knight.

And did I uphold them?

Dreaming only of becoming a real estate mogul and gaining my own territory to become a real estate tycoon.

Wasn’t I obsessed with gaining the most loot on the most conspicuous battlefield?

In my second life, with no status screen, my first target was magic.

But since learning was difficult and I couldn’t even get started with magic, my next target was miracles. If it was my second life, I thought there must be some talent or hidden lineage that made me special.

And I now understand why the miracles didn’t come down coolly when I closed my eyes and prayed to become an adult.

If God’s eyes aren’t just for show, there’s no way that would happen.

Just as I did in the past on the battlefield, Lycia would have witnessed countless deaths.

And she would have felt similar emotions to me. Compassion, pity, dissatisfaction with the world, and so on.

But the girl came to a different conclusion than I did.

If there is a more suitable child here, and if I hope to perform miracles, wouldn’t it be inappropriate for me to show my true colors?

Lycia erased the anxious look that seemed to be worried about being rejected and smiled brightly.

Helping out because I thought I could, actually turned out to be the most difficult thing to do. As expected, this is what it means to be a saint.

The modern morality and ethics that I used to talk about, believing in walking my own path despite receiving backlash, were different from me.

I knew from a young age that behind each number of casualties counted after a battle, there was a person’s life in its entirety.

Even in this medieval fantasy world, I was not ignorant of the fact that violence is bad and peace is good.

The value of sharing and giving without expecting anything in return, the nobility of charity, is a fact that anyone with a brain can understand. Even if you attach the labels of medieval or fantasy to this place, it is ultimately where people live.

I may have been the one who unknowingly carried out the ‘barbaric’ customs of the medieval era.

I must have been turning a blind eye to that fact for a long time.

…Alright. I have now matured mentally.

This medieval fantasy world has failed to bring my mind down to the level of the knights!

“If what the priest heard is correct, then the support troops gathered around will soon gather. Let’s join them there.”

“…Yes!”

I left the girl at the church for a moment and headed back to the street.

*****

The priest felt like scratching his remaining hair out.

In this small town, there were so many doomsayers that within half a day of the rumor spreading, people were already shouting that it was the end.

Pessimism has a stronger power than optimism. Isn’t the news that a meteorite will fall and wipe out all life on the surface more provocative than the news that good things are coming?

People’s hearts are so easily swayed by bad and provocative news.

In the end, the priest shook off the daze and remembered his duty.

He had to reassure the people. He had the obligation to reassure them that the support troops were coming, and that faithful helpers would gather to help.

Mercy, tolerance, love, charity… He repeated the most noble values bestowed by God in his mind and regained his composure.

And so, on this day, the priest finally got up from his heavy seat and went out into the street.

“I will rescue Filah from danger!”

“?”

“This fluorescent sword, Lavender! From those wicked and corrupt thieves, I will definitely!”

“What….”

The first thing he encountered was the sight of a knight who had seemed ready to flee just moments ago, now boldly declaring the opposite in the square.

The priest’s head was spinning.

He knew that knights were quite fickle beings, but how could one’s attitude change so drastically in just half a day.

In the end, the priest gave up trying to understand.