episode_0030

Two days had passed since Johann and Rudella had hidden in the cave.

Even Rudel, who had difficulty sleeping even when the floor of the cave was covered with grass, seems to have adapted to it now and is able to relieve his fatigue.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Johan, who had just returned from outside, asked. His deep blue eyes were wide open. But the sight seemed strangely strange, so Rudelah held her breath for a moment.

“I’m okay… … .”

Rudel, who had barely come to her senses, looked at John’s face and abdomen with eyes full of worry. The wound was getting deeper and deeper.

“Are you okay? Your face is pale.”

“It’s okay. I stopped the bleeding properly.”

John placed the two rabbits he had caught near the campfire and sat with his back against the cave wall.

“You caught another rabbit.”

“This is the easiest and most nutritious.”

There’s no point in catching something like a wild boar, and I don’t have the energy to catch anything else. Because of the environment, it’s hard to get things like fruit.

“Please bear with me for a moment.”

“I never complained… … .”

“Because I think the rabbit is tired.”

John chuckled. A bright smile appeared on his pale face that didn’t suit him.

“… … .”

When I saw his smile, I wanted to laugh naturally. Rudel, who desperately tried to hold back her changing emotions, avoided eye contact. The corners of her ears were bright red.

“… There are now three days left.”

Rudelha awkwardly turned her gaze and changed the subject. Johan, who had his eyes closed, looked at her.

“Yes.”

“What are your plans?”

“I will wait first.”

“What are you going to do by waiting?”

“You need to tell me where this is.”

John continued his explanation after noticing that Rudella’s head was slightly tilted.

“The officials who tracked our movement path will find the blown bridge. Then, naturally, they will have no choice but to check the cliff. Then, we will leave. ”

Rudelaga nodded slowly.

“I see… … .”

“Please bear with me for a little while even if it’s frustrating. It’s for Lady Bismark’s safety.”

“I know.”

John smiled faintly as he spoke. His face was pale and haggard. The decadent charm radiating from his tired face made her heart beat faster.

“Ahem.”

She tried to hide her trembling heart with a cough, but the emotions pounding in her chest did not easily subside.

Rudel, who felt the heat rising in her ears, quickly turned her head and caressed her wrist. Whenever she met eyes with that man, her heart kept beating faster.

It was an awkward and unfamiliar feeling, but strangely enough, I didn’t hate it.

The unfamiliar feeling of excitement and heart pounding resonated pleasantly.

Knock knock.

The sound of crackling firewood as the campfire burned filled the quiet interior of the cave.

John looked at the firewood and then suddenly spoke up to break the awkward atmosphere.

“Lady Bismark, do you have any hobbies?”

The voice was cautious. John looked around, wondering if he had brought up the wrong topic.

“Hobby… … .”

Rudel, who had been staring blankly into the empty space beyond the campfire, rested her chin on her hand. Her sky-blue eyes swayed delicately in the firelight.

“I didn’t have time to enjoy that. As the crown princess, I had a lot of official duties to take care of and a lot to learn.”

In the crackling of the campfire, Rudella’s face darkened for a moment. There was a hint of weariness in her words, but even that seemed like a dulled sense.

“The fate of becoming an empress did not allow me time. I had to live fiercely every day, occupied with public affairs and learning how to assist the monarch.”

John asked again, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

“Didn’t you have it when you were young or when you were attending academy?”

“That’s right. Even back then, I had to study and do my job at the same time.”

“Then how do you relieve stress from work and study?”

“… Do I really have to solve that?”

Rudelaga tilted her head slightly. She blinked her eyelids slowly once and asked again in a dry voice.

“No… ….”

Her answer made Han close his mouth for a moment. Rudel had a genuinely ignorant expression on his face, as if he had never even recognized the emotion called ‘stress’ before.

‘The more I know, the more I think I understand why Rudella was that kind of character.’

When a person is extremely stressed, they will eventually break down. And the pieces of their broken emotions are sometimes reassembled in a distorted way.

The cold and cruel side of Rudelavismark seen in the work must have originated from this constant oppression and loneliness.

“… I think it’s good to relieve some stress. The biggest reason people get sick is stress. ”

At John’s words, Rudela looked at him quietly. Her eyes, reflecting the campfire, shook slightly.

“How?”

“That’s it… … .”

John scratched his chin and thought for a moment. When he thought about it, he had no idea what kind of hobby he could suggest to her. The simplest answer would be best here.

“Try a lot of things, and then choose something fun to do. It’s also good to do something that you’ve always been interested in.”

Rudel nodded briefly and stroked her chin with her fingertips. The atmosphere was one of deep thought.

“… Since I’m only interested in studying and public service, there’s nothing that really interests me, and I can’t do many things. I don’t have time, you know. ”

“Ah.”

John closed his eyes. It was reckless. In the first place, Rudella had never been given that choice.

“… I spoke too thoughtlessly.”

“No, I don’t. I said it myself and it was funny.”

Rudel looked at the campfire and smiled faintly. There was a hint of loneliness in her smile.

“… I’m worried about Lady Bismark.”

“Why?”

“I feel like I’m missing something.”

Rudel blinked and took in his words. There was a moment of silence.

“Ah, I’m not trying to disparage Lady Bismark. I just think she’s someone whose emotions and feelings are broken… … Anyway, that’s it.”

The two most important things for people are the immediate, concrete reactions and emotions that are felt, and the emotional dispositions and emotions that are internalized and accumulated through those emotions.

Rudel had both of these things ruined.

“Hmm. Maybe that’s it.”

She just smiled blandly. That smile was a self-deprecating smile, accepting her own flawed inner self.

“I can’t help you, but I have to tell you this.”

“What is it?”

“If that kind of life continues, it will eventually fall apart and become irreversible.”

“… Is that so? Does that mean it’s broken? ”

At his words, which were full of seriousness, Rudel hugged her knees with a stern face.

“Well, don’t take it so seriously. Just think of it as my rambling. I can’t be responsible for Lady Bismark. ”

Rudel said, drawing a line under her eyes.

“Can’t you take responsibility?”

“… Yes?”

John’s face became blank. Suddenly, the scent of lilies came in.

Even though she was in this stuffy cave, the scent of lilies engraved on her did not fade.

“Take responsibility for me.”

What is this person talking about? John’s eyes opened wide. He didn’t know what to say.

“Haha, just kidding.”

Rudel smiled at Johan’s reaction and stroked his wrist with his fingertips. It was an unconscious action to hide this strange excitement.

“I didn’t know you’d joke like that.”

“Can’t it be done?”

“It’s not that it doesn’t work… … .”

I’m not used to it. Who would have thought that in this situation with someone as high on the watch list as the Crown Prince and Cassis, such a joke would come out?

Rudel said.

“You said earlier, right? Think of a way to relieve stress. I think that’s the time now.”

“Are you talking about now?”

“Yeah. I enjoy this time of small talk with you. It’s strange, but it gives me a strange feeling.”

She buried her lips in the knees she was hugging. Seeing her ears turn red, she felt embarrassed.

“Then call me when you’re stressed. Didn’t you say you’d call me often?”

“I’d like to, but unfortunately, I don’t have time to do that unless I have official duties.”

“You are mistaken. Time is not made, it is created.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

John added, looking up at the cave ceiling.

“You have to be clever. Say you have something to do while looking around the zodiac for a while, and call me for an escort mission. ”

“Isn’t that… … an act of deceiving others?”

“That’s how you make time. What if you deceive others? This doesn’t harm the logs either. ”

When John looked at her with his bright smile and blue eyes, Rudella quickly turned her gaze away.

“… I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Yes. Remember.”

As the conversation ended, an awkward atmosphere began to flow. Rudella felt the air become heavy and muttered quietly.

“It’s getting colder.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

It just rained, and the temperature has dropped as the place is wet.

John got up from his seat and sat down next to her.

“Hold hands.”

“… Are you talking about hands?”

“Life magic.”

John smiled lightly and held out his hand. Rudella hesitated, but when he gently wrapped his hand around hers, a faint electric current ran through her fingertips.

“Huh… … .”

When she felt John’s touch, Rudella held her breath for a moment. His fingertips were rough, but surprisingly soft and warm.

When she realized that Johan’s slightly relaxed blue eyes were turned towards her, Rudel’s heart began to pound uncontrollably.

She tried hard not to let her hands shake, but her heart did not calm down. As John’s blue eyes met her gently, the ringing in her chest grew louder.

“I’m glad you’re warm.”

John looks at her with a refreshing smile. Rudella’s breathing stops for a moment.

“… Thank you.”

Knock knock.

A bonfire was burning.

“But is it okay to use magic? Didn’t you say that your magic power will be tracked…? ”

“It’ll be okay after some time. But I won’t be able to do it for long because you never know.”

John looked into the languid light of the campfire while holding Rudella’s hand.

“It’s warm like this.”

As he spoke, warmth slowly seeped into his body. A faint scent of rain and earth came from John’s body.

The warmth being passed on by hand felt awkward at first, but Rudel gradually felt her body becoming relaxed by the warmth.

Her heart wouldn’t stop pounding as she peeked at John’s profile through her half-closed eyelids.

“… … .”

She leaned forward slightly and rested her head on John’s shoulder.

John hesitated for a moment, but did not outright refuse.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Rudel’s heart was pounding like crazy.

Is it because of that that my body feels hot, or is it because of the campfire?

She couldn’t tell if this feeling was excitement or simple comfort, but she didn’t think it was necessary to define its meaning.

Because right now, I just want to enjoy this comfortable and quiet time.