episode_0030
by adminTag.
It was my first time playing this game.
I didn’t even know what kind of game it was.
“Okay- Now you’re the one drinking!”
“Ah.”
While I was thinking about the rules, the previously thief, Cheongryong, caught me and I fell over.
“You should have focused on that, baby tiger!”
“Baby-?”
I was confused by the expression I heard for the first time.
No one has ever been given a nickname like that: baby tiger.
Although I was a little embarrassed, the fact that I had to join in on the game they were playing didn’t change.
-Knock knock.
I could clearly see where they were. They were slower than me to begin with.
But still. It was not the law that slaves should catch them easily, so I did it roughly without using any force.
I remembered someone who had been in trouble for something like this before. After a chase with two or three people who were barely able to catch me, I passed the tag to someone else.
From their perspective, there was only one person who saw me as having barely managed to get the ball rolling.
“Wow, Yuna, you’re really slow! Hehe.”
The crown prince knew that I was really slow.
“… San, do you really think Lee Yeon is slow?”
As the Blue Dragon asked with genuine bewilderment, the Crown Prince looked at him and asked.
“Huh? No?”
“Um… . Well, no.”
They seemed to have already realized that I was somewhat underpowered.
We continued playing for hours, leaving behind the pure and innocent crown prince.
Even I, who had been doing it moderately, was losing stamina, and the sea that had been hanging in the middle of the sky had now settled down a bit. It felt like I had been doing this for at least two or three hours.
‘I can’t even keep my family’s name…’
It was when I was wondering if this was okay.
“Year. Han.”
“family.”
“Father!”
The heads of other Sashinsu clans began to follow behind.
“Did you have fun, son?”
“Yeah, of course!”
All the other families gathered together and started taking their own families with them.
But that person was nowhere to be seen.
Landlady. Madam, I didn’t see you.
“Where is your ma’am?”
“Hmm? Oh, Jin-ah? Go to the carriage first and wait for us. By the way, did you have fun?”
“Yeah, I had fun, Dad.”
Judging by the mention of the carriage, it seemed like we were heading back now.
First of all, the story between the families has ended, and the crown prince will have his own schedule.
“Huh? Aren’t you going to sleep here today?”
“Your Majesty, these people also have work to do.”
“Um… .”
When Hyunmoo, who had come to fetch his son, tried to persuade him, the prince nodded. He looked at each other and didn’t say anything to his son, so I thought he was thinking about something… .
It seems like that wasn’t the case.
“Seonhwa, Cheonhwa. Now let’s go home too~”
“Yes, Mother.”
“Yes, Mom.”
… . I felt a slight sway in her voice. As expected, whenever I was involved with her, my heart seemed to make a strange noise.
“경.”
“Yeon-ah.”
“Oh, yes.”
But now it was time for me to go back. There was no time to worry about her.
While he was following him, the madam was actually inside the carriage.
“Did you have fun?”
The lady looked at me and smiled. She seemed happy about something. Did she like me hanging out with other people?
I couldn’t understand it, but I nodded for now.
To him, Han continued speaking.
“I can’t tell you how flustered I was when I first ran away.”
“Run away? Yeon-ah, what do you mean?”
“I just suddenly felt dizzy and left the room. It’s nothing serious.”
“… So? Are you sick or something?”
“Yes.”
Madam gave me a pitiful look as if it were her own business. … Why?
I didn’t understand. They and I weren’t related by blood. It wasn’t a relationship that needed to care about that. Especially me and that woman. So why on earth did they act as if I was their child?
I couldn’t understand any further.
“Yeah, that’s fortunate… . Oh, right, honey. What did you say you were going to ask the main writer? ”
“Ah. That’s it.”
“I had a question for you. Did it work out?”
“Hmm. It worked out well. It wasn’t really a big deal. My father told me to take you, Yeon, to the Jujak family.”
“Are you referring to the main character?”
“Yeah. Main writer.”
“… . Can you tell me why?”
Up until now, I had never questioned such things. But not now. Now, I couldn’t help but question them. In my opinion, there was no reason to go at all.
But, since you suddenly said you were sending it, shouldn’t I ask?
… Of course, it also played a part in her being secretly concerned.
I clearly tried to control them, expel them, and get rid of them, but each time, they would come out again, a little at a time, from where I had suppressed them.
I didn’t know it was only this time. But it was right to block any variable. For me, it was a huge variable.
I didn’t want to go and meet that variable, nor did I want to deal with it. That was something that should be eliminated.
All of them, including the unfair treatment I’ve experienced, were just excuses for the ability to run wild. He was someone who cared a little more about my safety than the country.
It was actually a little strange that such a being would remain silent even though it knew my feelings were like this.
-‘I did it because I liked it there. Anyway, I was always outside.’
‘What the heck is that over there?’
-‘I’ll tell you later. Later.’
He avoided me as he said that. … I think there’s something more. If I think about it from the things I’ve been missing… .
-‘And stop killing my emotions. Stop chasing them away. Do you know how hard it is for me to keep that?’
‘Otherwise you’ll use my emotions to your advantage.’
-‘Do what you want. Deep down in your heart.’
‘That’s why we’re trying to get rid of it. It can’t be done if it destroys this country.’
Destroying the country is not allowed. That was the order and role given to the Sashinsoo, and I was, after all, a descendant of the Sashinsoo family and a capable person.
If I were to destroy this country, no one knew what punishment God would give me.
That meant I might die.
In addition, innocent people who had nothing to do with me were killed. I couldn’t look favorably on the sight of people who weren’t even my targets being killed.
-‘I understand what you’re thinking, but, hey, that’s-‘
“Yeon-ah, arrived.”
“Ah. Yes… .”
‘Talk to you later.’
The carriage had already arrived at the mansion by the time we finished talking. I wasn’t free enough to continue talking to him. There was more work to do than I thought.
“Yeon-ah.”
It was a sudden call from the master. He only called me when he had something to say, or when he called me for guidance during sparring.
“Yes”
“You worked hard today, Yeon-ah. Go back and rest.”
“… Okay.”
Sure, today was a tough day. I went against the family’s orders and played with them… I wasn’t so tired that I couldn’t do anything, but at least the fact that I needed some rest didn’t change.
‘… . While I’m resting, I should kill all my emotions.’
-‘Hey, you really…!’
Well, it didn’t matter that the powers were noisy. The strange emotions that were rising were poison to me. If only I could figure out a way to suppress them, I would do anything.
As soon as that thought occurred to me, I headed to the training room instead of my room.
Sitting there, still. I locked up and distanced my emotions, one by one. I searched for that strange feeling of emotion that was rising, searched and searched, and buried it deep inside. So that it would never leak out again.
The elation that came from that feeling was strange.
‘… I can’t even sleep now.’
After doing that, I couldn’t sleep at all anymore.
-‘Well, you idiot, you can’t sleep because you’re suppressing emotions like fear that are necessary for survival!’
Was that necessary? Sleep is something that you just need to do at this moment while you are still active. While listening to the powers making noise, I meditate more deeply and erase the things inside me one by one.
Erase, get rid of.
Because that’s what I have to do.
In this way, the strongest weapon of humanity, the last weapon of the completely emotionless Baekho family that they had been trying so desperately to stop… was approaching completion by pickling itself.
“So, what did you talk about with the queen?”
However, those who should be managing and knowing about it… do not know anything about it.
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