episode_0029
by fnovelpiaIt happened in the middle of the night.
“Ugh… !”
I woke up with a start, the cold wind licking my skin was quite unpleasant.
“Hey, here is… .”
The hardened earth cracked between the logs. The Wailing Wall, familiar to me, was right before my eyes.
It was inside a trench. It was quiet all around. The usual sound of insects chirping was not heard here. There was a forest nearby, but it was normal in a battlefield where everything had been reduced to ashes.
I noticed soldiers on my left and right, with their eyes closed as if they were dead. I carefully raised my arm and checked my wristwatch.
It’s three o’clock in the morning. A time that seems strangely familiar.
Crackle. Crackle.
‘This sound….’
A sloshing sound. The sound of carefully moving feet through the mud. It was admirable that they were trying to make as little noise as possible, but it was no use in this pit that was worse than a doghouse.
It was only dawn, but my mind was extremely sharp and alert. The sharp mind, guaranteed by extreme fatigue, allowed me to hear things I normally couldn’t.
I listened again. The noise from earlier began to faintly reappear.
Clink. Clink. Clink.
Mud. Puddles. Trenches. And, boots.
Everything meshed together, creating a single piece of information in my head.
The enemy. And it’s very close.
I could even hear the sound of whispering. I was sure of it.
It’s the enemy. The enemy has entered the trenches.
That means, that means… .
“… … .”
It’s a night raid. They took advantage of the night to launch a surprise attack.
I don’t know what the night watch did. Maybe they got caught by them. What’s certain right now is that the enemy sneaked into our trenches.
I quietly got up. I slowly lifted the gun that was lying next to me. My finger on the trigger was shaking violently due to extreme tension.
I quickly took my finger off the trigger, thinking that I might shoot him right then and there. My palms were now soaked with sweat and slippery.
The footsteps were getting closer. I even thought about screaming.
Screaming on the battlefield was suicidal. Instead of panicking stupidly, I woke up the two soldiers sleeping next to me by tapping them.
“Ugh…! What is it, Your Majesty… .”
“Ah, I was sleeping well, why are you waking me up… What’s wrong?”
“Shhh… ! Shhh… !”
As I hastily brought my fingers to my lips, the expressions on their faces changed immediately. The two of them, with their faces hardened, quickly grabbed their guns and approached me without anyone telling them to.
“What is it? Is it the enemy?”
“Okay. Listen carefully.”
Clink. Clink. Clink.
The sound of footsteps, which were clearly getting closer, was heavy. Likewise, the soldiers’ expressions hardened, perhaps because they had heard the sound of footsteps.
“Damn it… . What kind of crazy bastards came in without fear?”
“Aren’t they dwarves? Their footsteps are heavy, so I don’t think they’re the little dwarves.”
“Shhhh…! Keep your prayers secret and everyone’s swords ready. If we get caught, it’s over.”
The soldiers kept their mouths shut. I held my gun still.
I’m nervous. My heart feels like it’s going to burst. I’m scared. An indescribable fear engulfs my whole body. I’m afraid they’ll hear my heartbeat.
Crackle. Crackle.
Now it was so close that there was no turning back. I could tell. Their footsteps were so close.
The two soldiers and I each leaned our backs against the trench wall. If we turn the corner of this wall, they’ll be right in front of us. The thought made my breathing quicken.
I clenched my teeth and held my breath. Not a single sound could escape. The soldiers hiding on both sides whispered urgently with tense expressions.
“Fuck…! Priest, should I bayonet him? Should I jump out and kill him right now?”
“What happened to Anderson? He must be the one on night watch right now…!”
“Those little bastards… ! If you killed Anderson… . I’ll beat you to a pulp until you beg for your life… !”
“Shhh! Here it comes… !”
Crackle. Crackle.
Bang!
A pitch-black figure appeared. It was as tall as my chest, and I was certain it was a detachment of dwarves.
“Now! Kill me!”
“Eww!”
“You fucking dwarfs!”
Thud! Thud! Phew! Crunch!
The bayonet dug into the flesh with a chilling sound. I and the soldiers stabbed the black thing without thinking.
How long had it been since he had been stabbed with a bayonet, kicked with his feet, and swung his elbows at what were presumed to be vital points?
The pitch-black figure staggered and fell to the ground, unable to even scream, as a bayonet was driven into what was presumed to be its neck. The soldiers and I stared at it with bloodshot eyes, breathing heavily.
“Ugh… Ugh… .”
“What the heck…! Are you dead?”
“Whew… . Damn, it’s so dark I can’t see anything… .”
I hesitated a little. Should I use my divine power to illuminate the darkness? My hesitation soon became useless.
It was because the moonlight, which had been hidden by the clouds, briefly revealed itself.
And then we could see.
“No, what… .”
“What… .”
A red deer lying on the ground, brutally mangled and bleeding.
We were so nervous that we had lost our discernment and couldn’t even see the shadow of the beast.
The eyes of a deer, soaked in blood, probably flowing in from the nearby forest, roll around. The eyes turn to me.
Yes. Those blood-stained eyes, turned toward me. Looking right at me, a deer. A red deer. At me… .
“Ugh… !”
Tick, tick.
The sound of the clock ticking filled the room. I took a deep breath and wiped my face.
It was a familiar sight. It was my room. My cozy room, located in the faculty dormitory.
“Dream… .”
It was a dream. I stared blankly at the blanket, then ran my hand over my forehead, which felt cool.
A cold sweat came out of me. I threw the damp pillow and roughly shook my hair.
“Sigh… .”
I looked at the wall clock.
The clock hands pointed to exactly three in the morning.
* * * * *
I left the dormitory, thinking of taking a walk in the early morning to clear my head a bit.
That was also the reason why the dormitory was stuffy. My room, which I usually thought was overly spacious, felt strangely stuffy today.
As I left the dorm, I felt a strange excitement. I felt like a child who had done something bad.
I took a deep breath slowly. The cool, fresh morning air filled my lungs. I took a deep breath of the refreshing air and stepped forward.
“… Shall we go to the main church?”
Rather than wandering aimlessly, I thought it would be better to stop by the main church for a moment. I turned my steps toward the main church.
Since the distance to the faculty and staff dormitory was not far, I was able to arrive at the main church in no time.
The sight of the main church at dawn was even more magnificent. The stained glass windows glowed softly in the moonlight, making them beautiful.
I remember visiting late at night before because of the finger commotion of the parish priest Giovanni. If that doesn’t happen, I think it wouldn’t be bad to visit the parish at night like this.
As soon as I arrived at the main church door, I realized one thing.
“Ah, the key… .”
I left my keys behind. I was such an idiot.
I didn’t want to go back to the dormitory. But, without the key, I couldn’t get into the main hall.
That’s when I was loitering around in front of the church door.
“Father Antonelli?”
I heard a familiar voice. I turned my head toward the sound.
It was Father Peter. He approached me slowly, smiling kindly as always.
“We meet like this. This must also be an encounter led by the Lord.”
“… Is that so?”
I didn’t feel very comfortable. I wanted to enjoy a night walk alone, and I had no desire to talk to anyone.
I don’t know if he knew how I was feeling, but Father Peter was already within arm’s reach.
“By the way, why is the head priest here…?”
“I couldn’t sleep, so I came out to take a walk.”
“What a coincidence. Me too.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“If it’s not too inconvenient, would you like to walk with me for a moment?”
It was uncomfortable. But it was hard to refuse Father Peter’s words, saying that you cannot spit in a smiling face.
Last time, I was rude enough to run off to the bathroom while we were talking, so this time I decided to follow Father Peter’s lead.
“Okay.”
Father Peter and I took a leisurely stroll around the parish. The walking paths on the academy campus were well-maintained, making it a perfect place to walk while thinking about various things.
So, we walked in silence. Five minutes passed, ten minutes passed. The silence grew longer and longer. How long did it take?
“Father Antonelli.”
Father Peter broke the silence. I turned to him.
“Yes, Father Peter.”
“Father Camilla, did you commit any offense to the head priest?”
“… … .”
Father Peter seemed to already know. Why? Why did Father Camilla say it?
As if he had read my thoughts, Father Peter slowly shook his head.
“Right after the head priest left, Father Camilla followed him out. I was worried because Father Camilla had a fierce expression on her face… .”
“… There was a little bit of an unpleasant incident, but it’s not something to worry about.”
“Is that so? If so, that’s fortunate, but… .”
We walked again in silence. Thanks to the moonlight shining brightly on the schoolyard, we didn’t stumble in the darkness.
“Camilla Priestess.”
Father Peter’s words once again cut through the silence. I listened to him in silence.
“Poor kid. Even though he’s not very smart, I’m sure he’ll get better soon.”
“Is that so?”
“I will bow my head and apologize on behalf of that child for being rude to the head priest. However… .”
“Priest Peter.”
I cut him off. Father Peter looked at me.
“I may be seeing things wrong, but it seemed like Father Peter and Father Camilla were not on good terms.”
“… Did it look like that? Well, maybe it wasn’t wrong.”
“Then I wonder why the city is protecting Priest Camilla.”
Father Peter was silent for a while. I waited quietly for his answer.
Father Peter, who had been silent for a moment, finally opened his mouth.
“I don’t hate Priest Camilla, Your Highness.”
“The beginning and end do not match.”
“I just regret the original sin committed by Priest Camilla.”
Original sin.
I knew immediately what it meant, because the bitter eyes of Father Peter were looking at me.
“Are you talking about the Great War?”
“The head priest also participated in the Great War. I noticed it a long time ago after he reacted that way that day.”
“… … .”
“I don’t hate those who fought in the Great War. I just hate their sins.”
“Hate the sin, but not the sinner… .”
“Anticas 17:3.”
I realized that I had stopped walking at the same time that I realized that my fists were shaking. I looked at Father Peter with eyes full of accusation.
“That… . What good does it do? After all, isn’t sin something that people commit?”
To me, it sounded like a play on words. It was something that someone with a narrow perspective on humanity would say.
“I cannot agree with what you said. The essence of sin is man. Father Peter. Sin and man cannot be considered as separate entities.”
“Father Antonelli.”
“We are people who live with sin. People like me and Father Camilla are even more so. We are so intertwined that we cannot separate them.”
Father Peter, who was walking a few steps ahead, stopped and looked back at me.
“Those words sound like an admission that Father Antonelli is also a sinner.”
“Then, isn’t it? Father Peter, don’t you think so too? Aren’t you a person of the Holy Land too!”
Finally, I screamed. My chest was so stuffy that I felt like I was going to die. I was drowning in my delusional memories.
“The people of the Holy Land all said the same thing! Murderers! Pay the price! I felt that aimless hatred with my whole body!”
Father Peter showed no reaction. He just looked at me. I cried out in even more evil voice.
“But now you’re telling me not to hate people? Sin and people are separate?! Now you’re telling me!!”
My hands clenched into fists trembled. My palms began to ache as my fingernails dug into my flesh.
“If you’re going to say something like that, from the beginning… .”
“… … .”
“Shouldn’t you have said that from the beginning… .”
I turned my head away from Father Peter. I also turned my steps back. I was planning to go back to the dormitory.
“Then, will you continue to struggle in the pit of original sin?”
If only I hadn’t heard the priest Peter’s subsequent words.
“The sense of duty to shoulder the original sin that you committed is admirable. However, if you are blocked by it and cannot move forward in life… . I cannot agree with that.”
“… What do you know that makes you say such things?”
“At least, I know it’s not Father Antonelli’s fault.”
“… … !”
I stared blankly at him. My body, which had turned halfway, was now facing Father Peter.
“Priest Antonelli, don’t you see a wall blocking your path? How long are you going to go back down that long, thorny path just because you’ve encountered a wall?”
“… I.”
“It’s just a maze with no escape. So, you have to jump over the wall. You have to move forward somehow!”
Father Peter walked slowly toward him. Hot tears streamed down his wrinkled eyes.
I turned my head away from him. It was difficult to look at Father Peter.
“… Can I be forgiven?”
Father Peter responded to my mumbling words.
“Judging sin is the Lord’s job alone.”
“… … .”
“So, as servants of the Lord… we must move forward.”
I silently pondered his words.
Slowly, very slowly.
After tearing apart his words word by word, he finally nodded heavily.
“… Let’s go back. It’s late at night.”
I slowly headed towards the dormitory. Father Peter followed me, muttering something.
“Sin entered the world, and man is considered inferior to him, unless he be wicked… .”
Revelation 2:4.
Those words stab my heart like a knife.
…Why was it like that?
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