episode_0029

“…Oppa.”

“Yeah?”

The quiet spring breeze of the night approaches and shakes the window.

We decided to go on a trip, and Oppa took time off accordingly.

…I suddenly remembered something I had forgotten.

“When you say trip… where are we going?”

“…I hadn’t thought about that.”

“Oh…”

“I’ll think about it right away! Don’t be too disappointed.”

As Oppa scratches his head in thought, I seem to be thinking about strange things.

Actually… if I were at home with Oppa, I feel like we would just do ‘that’….

It might even be better that way… I think.

Another mischievous thought…

“Hmm. Oh. Well. Yes yes, let’s think about it together.”

“Um….”

Thankfully hiding my expression quickly.

“I… an amusement park…?”

“An amusement park… wouldn’t be bad. Should we go?”

“But during the vacation?”

“That’s true. But we have a car. We can spend a day at the amusement park and go elsewhere.”

I made a mistake.

Casually mentioning the amusement park consumes a lot of energy.

Waiting until night and then Oppa falling asleep because he’s tired.

“Hmm… how about just watching a movie nearby, going to a café, or walking around like last time…?”

“Don’t you need something more? Like a place you like… you know, something like that. It’s rare for us to go out, but coming back home feels a bit off…”

“It’s okay.”

It hurts inside.

“But still….”

He does things for me, but I’m only thinking perverted thoughts.

“Ugh… Okay. Got it. So… we’re moving away from here, right?”

“Then where to…?”

“If you see hotteok on the street, eat hotteok, if you see tonkatsu, eat tonkatsu. Exploring good restaurants is also fine. Since you like tonkatsu, we can explore tonkatsu restaurants! That’s also possible.”

After all, traveling is about making plans and moving freely.

If we just play by the clock and get caught up in things like compulsions, we might not even know how to enjoy the trip properly.

It’s just about having fun at this time and moving on to other places when we feel like it.

Whatever we do with Oppa, whether we’re tired at night or not, a little glucose will help us endure.

“Exploring tonkatsu….”

Oppa seemed genuinely interested in the mention of tonkatsu.

Was he slightly excited?

“Or how about going big and going to Jeju Island. There are famous places there, right?”

“Oh…! Y-yeah, I know that too!”

“Hehe. Do you want to go?”

Thank goodness.

I’m glad I changed my mind from thinking about inappropriate things.

It’s nice to see Oppa happy; it’s an additional factor.

I’ll definitely do it later. I’ll make sure it happens.

This will never change.

*

“…Okay.”

Two days passed, and a package arrived.

Things bought in the morning, things bought at lunchtime.

And honestly, things bought late at night that I’m a bit hesitant about going out to buy.

And this is something I won’t sell.

“Wow….”

Introducing the XL condom.

I didn’t measure it properly, but I roughly guessed it… or did I?

When I spread my hand, it measures about 16cm.

Originally it was around 20cm, so I used it occasionally like a human ruler, but I accidentally found out while trying to use it as a woman.

But Oppa’s… that’s bigger than my hand, so it’s definitely not average.

Bored, I measured my face, which is slightly less than 20.

In my memory, it was above my eyes.

So… over 18…?

How can it be around 20?

Without doing anything special, just eating tonkatsu… no, just living, does it grow that big?

“Wow… it’s this long?”

I opened one condom and held it against my stomach.

Ignoring the fact that it reaches my belly button, can I even take all of that?

No, I feel like I’d die.

“Hmm. I don’t know.”

I soak the condom in water and tie it.

Roughly handled, it didn’t burst.

“Oh.”

It looks like a water balloon.

The chubby part seems like it’s going to burst except for the slippery part due to the lubricant.

Named for adults, a high-end water balloon that doesn’t burst easily.

Except for that popping out part.

Actually, I didn’t want to buy condoms.

Well… my brother will probably strongly refuse.

Because the world is so cruel and difficult to live in these days, it’s obvious that having a baby later is the right thing to do.

Even though Suhyun unnie told me it’s safe when traveling at the end of the trip…

It’s regrettable.

“Ah.”

I’ve been forgetting to contact my dad all this time.

There’s no one at home, and if I call, he might be busy, so let’s text instead.

*Tock tock.*

[Dad. I… Brother…]

Since I don’t know who “brother” is…

What should I call him?

Brother-in-law…?

Mr. Soo Han…?

[Dad. I have a boyfriend.]

Hmm. This might be better.

Send.

“Well then… I’ll buy today… um?”

*Ring ring!!*

Not long after sending the text, the phone rings.

It’s Dad.

“Oh… hello?”

[What are you talking about? A… boyfriend.]

In a gasping voice, he asks urgently for an explanation.

“Just as it is… a boyfriend… right?”

[…Who is this? Do I know him?]

I’ve never seen my dad talk this much before.

“If I say… brother….”

[…Right. Uh… sure. No problem?]

“Yes yes. I asked him out first. He likes me too.”

*Thud!*

A sound of something breaking came from beyond the speaker.

“Dad?”

[Oh. Nothing. I’m hanging up.]

*Click.*

“…Did I just mess up?”

I might have done something I shouldn’t have.

“Brother~ Come in quickly…?”

“Ahaha… hello.”

“……”

“Dad?”

My brother is awkwardly smiling. Next to him, Dad remains silent.

And me, watching from the entrance.

What’s going on. This feels like a drama.

“Come in first… Dad, have some food.”

“Okay.”

He took out a bowl, emptied some rice that was being thawed, and placed it on the table.

“Um… enjoy your meal?”

“Yeah.”

“…Sure.”

Why are they acting like this? Why did they come here?

They should say something.

“Kum.”

Apart from the sound of spoons touching bowls and eating, nothing else could be heard at the dining table.

“Geu. Jihye, it’s… delicious.”

“T-Thank you.”

This is so awkward.

I feel like dying.

Dad… why did you come?

It might not be a disaster, but it’s still a bit unexpected.

“……”

After finishing the meal, while Dad continued to silently watch us, I looked at him with puzzlement. In that moment, Dad stood up and approached.

“Are you planning to get married?”

“…?”

“…???”

At the sudden question, neither I nor my brother could say anything.

Is this… an acceptance? Or is it a subtle threat that getting married would mean killing my brother?

“Dad. I really want to.”

Approaching, I gently held Dad’s hand with both of mine.

I probably won’t actually kill him, but I might do something drastic to my brother by any means necessary.

“Hmm… You.”

He looks at me, then turns his head to glare at my brother.

Although his face remained unchanged, it just felt that way.

“I can’t afford it right now, but… I will definitely get married!”

My brother suddenly knelt down and made a responsible statement.

“Gasp….”

Wait. Did I just get… a marriage proposal?

“Okay….”

Dad let out a deep sigh, then gently patted my head.

“Daughter. Dad’s leaving.”

“Yes…! Goodbye!”

Is this Dad’s way of doing things?

If I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek, would that be enough?

Honestly, it’s awkward… but okay.

If there are comings, there are goings.

To Dad, I am his beloved daughter, right?

Ah. I see.

Was Dad thinking about a daughter like me even just a little?

Has he ever said “Dad loves you,” I wonder.

I’m a year older than my brother, but what did I say during those young 8 or 9 years?

He must have said it because he was still kind and innocent. And he must have changed.

At least from what I remember, there were only terrible words.

“Clunk. Hm… Brother, please take a shower now.”

“Uh… Okay, got it.”

After turning on the boiler, my brother went into the shower room.

Drrrr

[…It’s your daughter.]

“Yes, Dad.”

Perhaps the resonance of “Dad” might be able to turn back the father who seemed to linger faintly.

Can I meet the brightly smiling father that remains like a fragment of memory again?

“Thank you earlier…”

[Because I really like it.]

Father’s worries.

As a son, I may not know, but as a daughter, I can understand this feeling.

“…Yes. I can’t live without it.”

But in this reversal, there is my brother.

My brother… I know him very well.

[Okay…]

“I won’t hit you, brother. It’s okay because I’ve always done chores, cooking, and it’s fun. And I like being with you, brother. Please… trust me. Dad.”

To truly understand the difficult heart of the father who still finds it hard to know everything, I may need to bring more of what a father should originally say.

It feels like thinking about what to buy at a miscellaneous store where you have to go beyond just knowing.

There are paths with guide signs everywhere, avoiding the various items displayed, until finally meeting what I should buy.

[I trust you. I believe in you.]

“Okay then.”

[Ending the call.]

“Dad, I love you.”

[…I see.]

It would be nice to say “I love you too” here.

It seems like it’s still difficult for Dad to approach.