episode_0029
by fnovelpiaWhile confessing the whole story, Soo-yeon Choi got choked up several times and looked for water. Each time, her emotions became so intense that she hugged me and cried.
And when the whole story was over, she laughed helplessly, rubbing her dry eyes as if no tears were coming out anymore.
“Ha… Haha… I’m funny, right? I guess I was feeling the feelings of being in a relationship alone, and feeling the feelings of being liked alone. I thought that if you get along with Yuri, I’ll get along with Youngbae… I didn’t even think about the person I would give rice cake to, but I was drinking kimchi soup by myself. I’ve never felt so miserable in my life… Ugh… Ugh. …”
“That’s it. It’s going to be hard, so don’t say any more. Come here.”
I tapped my hand on the floor next to me, and we sat together on the blanket I was sleeping on, leaning our backs against the wall.
“Gong Yeongbae, how many times should I beat that bastard?”
“Yes. Very nice.”
When asked the same question, Yu-ri Lee stopped her and told her not to do that, but Su-yeon Choi immediately responded by telling her to hit her.
Although our tendencies are different, it probably means that the wounds we have received are greater.
Of course, it seemed like she didn’t say it because she truly wanted me to beat up Gong Young-bae.
Choi Soo-yeon weakly dropped her head to the side, placed her head on my shoulder, and muttered.
“… Senior, do you have alcohol?”
“There are some things I bought before that I didn’t drink, but why? Want to drink?”
“I don’t think I can survive if I don’t drink.”
“What kind of drink is 2nd grade?”
“I’m 20 years old by kneeling.”
“But that doesn’t work. Looking at what you did earlier, I don’t know what you’ll do if you get drunk in this state.”
At my words, Sooyeon Choi raised her head for a moment and looked at me, then leaned her head on my shoulder again.
“Aren’t you surprised? I’m 20 years old.”
Because I knew that… I can’t honestly say that.
Since he was the one who revealed it first, I came up with a comment to further capture Choi Su-yeon’s heart.
“Then what changes?”
“Yes?”
“Does it really matter whether you are 19 or 20? All I see in my eyes is a girl whose heart is so broken that she is in a state of emotional instability.”
“… And even though my senior was so good to me, I am the woman who ran to senior Youngbae as soon as I had the chance. The senior was also annoyed inside. You were disillusioned.”
“Not at all? Even though you said you liked Gong Young-bae in the first place, I was the one who invited you to go with him. If you think about it that way, aren’t I the worse person?”
“Well, but I… I…”
“Don’t try to find reasons to criticize yourself. Because you’re not that bad of a girl.”
Suyeon Choi brought her knees to her chest and bowed her head.
It looked like she was shedding tears again as her shoulders were shaking.
I gave her a moment to calm down and then asked another question.
“But I’m curious as to why you kneeled. Did you repeat a grade?”
Of course, I knew the reason, but I pretended not to know and asked.
Let’s narrow the distance by making Choi Soo-yeon share all of her secrets with me.
“…… I went to study abroad.”
“Oh, studying abroad? Where? USA? japan? Europe?”
“I went to America when I was in middle school. I didn’t want to go, but my parents forced me to go there for a year so I could study…”
“It must have been difficult. Did you communicate well?”
“… Living was no problem. But after I finished studying abroad and returned to Korea, I naturally ended up taking a year off… All my friends went to a higher education academy, but I was the only one in middle school.
Because the kids in my class are different ages, they are reluctant to me… Do you know how I feel when I find out that a group chat room has been created without me?”
“It must have been like a dog.”
“My friends are all a grade higher, so I no longer have to run into them, and the kids in my class are ostracizing me… Meanwhile, at home, they are constantly telling me to get better grades.”
“Listening to what you said, it seemed like you studied quite a bit before, but did you get derailed because of that?”
“… Yes. It was my own way of rebelling. At first, I was scolded and kicked out of the house, but now the house seems to have given up and just treats me like a child.
It suits me right now, right? I was abandoned at home, I was separated from my friends, and what was left was a relationship with a delinquent son who was deviant and a fake relationship… Nothing about me is real.
The only support was the guy I liked, but I was just a convenient junior who was easy to take advantage of. A pathetic person who is uncomfortable for everyone and is not loved by anyone… Haha… ”
As Sooyeon Choi continued to speak, she began to make self-destructive comments again, and I gently hugged her head and pulled it to my shoulder to stop her.
There was no resistance, and Sooyeon Choi just leaned her head on my shoulder.
“Don’t talk like that. As I said before, you are a good enough girl. Rather, that bastard Gong Young-bae is an asshole. He says he likes a guy like you who has a pretty face, kind personality, and a lot of charm, but if he doesn’t even notice that, is he really a guy? What a eunuch. Or does that bastard like men?”
“Phew.”
“Isn’t it possible? If you had done that to me, I would have hugged you with open arms, but how can a woman like you cling to her and be unresponsive to her? It’s definitely true. It’s clear that she likes that guy.”
“Then aren’t seniors the most dangerous?”
Suyeon Choi said, still leaning her head on my shoulder.
“Me?”
“To be honest, the senior is also quite manly-looking, tall, and has a nice body. His behavior was a bit… a bit like that, but I haven’t heard much about him these days. If I were gay, I think I would target seniors first, right?”
For a moment, I had a terrible thought that I shouldn’t have, and I shuddered.
“It gives me goosebumps. Don’t say that because you’re scared.”
“He started first.”
“That’s right. I was wrong. I’m scared to death, so please don’t say that. Do you see how creepy I am now? Look at your arms. ”
I showed my skinny arms, and Suyeon Choi traced my forearm with her finger and smiled lightly.
“Senior, it’s strange as expected.”
“Why me.”
“There are stories I heard directly from my friends, and it’s strange that he suddenly changed so much, and it’s strange that he’s so kinder than I thought, and I thought he’d ask for my body after he broke up with me, but that’s not the case, and it’s strange.
On that topic, I went straight to Youngbae, but he didn’t say anything, so it was strange, and since I was abandoned, he brought me home like this. Why are you being so nice to me?”
“What have you been hearing from me so far?”
“Yes?”
I looked directly into Suyeon Choi’s eyes.
Suyeon Choi, who was wearing my men’s shirt and pants, looked strangely sexier even though she wasn’t exposing anything.
“Why are you so nice to me? Because you are a very nice woman. Does a man need any more reason to be nice to a woman he likes?”
Choi Soo-yeon’s eyes, which were staring at me, began to gradually waver.
Then, Suyeon Choi, who understood everything, suddenly raised her head and took it off my shoulder.
“Seo, your joke is a bit excessive. I didn’t know you had this kind of personality…”
“Isn’t this a joke?”
“Eck…”
“Then did you think I was just saying empty words to comfort you? Unfortunately, I am far from that kind of lip service.”
“Well, but the senior is dating senior Yuri…”
“Oh, we’re not dating yet.”
“Still…?”
Choi Su-yeon tilted her head.
Anyone who saw us would have thought we were dating.
“He said he liked it, but I thought he needed time to organize his thoughts, so I told him he could reply later.”
At that moment, Sooyeon Choi’s eyes changed slightly and she glanced at me.
“… Then you confessed to Yuri earlier and now you brought another woman home?”
“That’s it. I’m a very greedy and selfish person when it comes to women, so when I see a good woman, I want to have it all. Yuri Lee and you too.”
“Wow… I’ve never heard something so shameless in my life. It’s not just that it’s strange, there was no answer at all.”
“Because I learned nothing. Please understand.”
Suyeon Choi, who had been looking me up and down like she was looking at trash, leaned back against the wall again and placed her head on my shoulder.
“But… I feel like this shameless possessiveness is better than fabricated favors, so I don’t think I really have an answer.”
Soo-yeon Choi slipped her arm between my arms and hugged me tightly, crossing her arms.
“Senior. Shall we…?”
It was obvious what we wanted to do.
To be honest, as soon as I heard those words, my lower abdomen began to swell like an active volcano exploding, but I answered while fighting against my desire.
“I said not now.”
“Why. I said I liked it.”
“It’s not that you really like me as a man, you’re just doing it to break your heart and destroy yourself somehow.
After doing nothing, I tried to brainwash myself into thinking, ‘I’m such a dirty bitch, so it’s natural for me to be treated like that.’”
“……”
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter if it’s me or anyone else right now, right? Because I just need a reason to destroy myself. I don’t feel good when I’m with a guy like that, and more than anything, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life until the day you die.”
“…… How do you know that?”
“Do you think you will feel any better after doing this with me? Wouldn’t you rather just want to die? I have no interest in watching the girl I like get ruined like that right in front of my eyes. And… I have to leave later than anything else, so I don’t have time.”
“…? Are you going out again?”
“Uh. I told you last time. We’re a gang… No, it’s just that we decided to get together with kids who are similar to me.”
“Ah.”
It was only then that Sooyeon Choi remembered the ‘meeting’ I had mentioned once before.
In the first place, Su-yeon Choi must have heard that story many times from the girls in the second-grade class she belongs to, so she must know.
“I have to get ready soon, so get ready to go home too. Please return the clothes later. And you are already a good enough woman and a child who deserves to be loved, so don’t leak out with strange thoughts for no reason. Well, even if I say this, it won’t be much of a consolation.”
Suyeon Choi was silent for a moment and then grabbed my collar.
“I don’t want to go home.”
” Hey, just because you do that doesn’t mean I’ll join in destroying you-”
“Not that. Your senior said that at the time, right? Either rehearse the date course with her, or pretend to be your girlfriend and participate in the meeting so she can give you an excuse to leave the meeting. I still remember it.”
Suyeon Choi took a deep breath, perhaps trying to control her stomach.
Then, facing me, he stretched out his arms, wrapped them around the back of my neck, and whispered into my ear.
“I said I was a woman who fully deserves to be loved, right? Then prove it.”
“You…”
“I will go to that meeting with my senior. As ‘girlfriend’.”
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