episode_0028

*

“Are you okay?”

“Well, that’s okay.”

After returning home, I walked outside to get some fresh air.

As I walked, looking blankly at the darkened night sky, my older sister followed me and started talking to me.

“I guess I made a dinner date for no reason.”

“It wasn’t my sister who caught it, it was my parents who asked me to go. ”

“Are you uncomfortable because of the distance?”

“… A little.”

My sister spoke as if she was sorry.

I shrugged and glanced at my sister. Looking at my sister’s expression, I felt a subtle emotion.

“How far will you walk?”

“Should I go to the Han River and get some fresh air?”

“On foot?”

“No, you have to take the bus to get there.”

The conversation gradually subsided and we just walked forward, looking at each other.

After hearing my sister’s question, I pursed my lips and thought for a moment. I couldn’t give a clear answer because I was just walking forward without a destination.

How can I relieve my frustrated stomach? As I was trying to decide on my destination, a pleasant wind flowed through my cheeks.

Would I feel any better if I got some fresh air? With that in mind, I put my destination into words.

“Two.”

I swiped my card and got on the bus, hearing the mechanical sound of “Thank you.”.

Even though it was past rush hour, there were quite a few people on the bus.

“I can’t go by sitting down.”

“Sure.”

Since I couldn’t see anyone who looked like they were about to get off, I eventually walked over to where the pole was and held on tight.

My older sister was short and couldn’t hold the handle on top. When I saw that, I burst into laughter.

“The wind is good.”

When I got off the bus, a cool breeze flowed in.

I took a deep breath and enjoyed the fresh air, and my sister followed behind me and took a deep breath.

“Now that I think about it, sister, is it true that you will write a letter?”

“Nowadays, they say they are giving away smartphones, so only up to the training center.”

“That’s right. If you have a smartphone, you can just contact me.”

I went down the road near the Han River and entered the path where I could walk along the Han River.

As we walked side by side and looked at the river, I suddenly remembered what we had talked about while eating and asked. Then my sister smiled and answered.

“It’s a little dangerous.”

“What?”

“I feel like my strength has weakened a little because of what you did before.”

“… Didn’t your sister say it was okay before?”

Just when I thought it was going to be such an ordinary story, my older sister looked a little nervous and grabbed the hem of my dress tightly.

He suddenly made that kind of expression, which made me nervous and asked him a question.

I was wondering what he was going to talk about, and it turned out to be a story about a time when he forcibly penetrated his older sister’s anus. I think I heard that if you’re not careful, you could end up having to wear diapers due to sagging, but even I thought it was careless.

If my sister said it was okay, I would probably ignore it because she said the same thing.

“… Did you say it was okay?”

“done.”

“… Really?”

My older sister tilted her head as if her memory was a little vague.

Actually, I don’t know either. I didn’t even know if it was okay or not. But for some reason, my mouth naturally became confident.

In response to my confident answer, my older sister pursed her lips with a puzzled look on her face.

He tilted his head as if he had nothing more to say, and finally nodded his head carefully.

I was glad that I just seemed to understand it.

“So, don’t you think it’s a good time?”

“Hmm, it’s still okay, but I think it’ll be tattered next time.”

“Then it would be better not to do it next time. Because if you grow up and wear diapers, it will be difficult.”

“Yes. I would appreciate it if you were careful.”

Seeing my older sister a little hesitant, I thought the atmosphere wouldn’t be so good if things continued like this, so I spoke to her with a hint of concern.

My sister was a little slow in answering, perhaps because she was thinking deeply about something. I glanced at my older sister, and she stuttered while gently touching her thighs and buttocks.

It felt like I was already in danger after just doing it once.

I decided to take some time to repent, thinking that I may have been hastening my sister’s diaper life for no reason.

“More than that, is Dad that difficult?”

“There’s not a lot of distance… ?”

Then there was silence once again.

When I brought up this story for no reason, I felt like I stopped talking right away. I may be like this because I made a mistake recently by acting aggressively toward my sister.

It was my older sister who broke the silence and asked another question. This time, I answered with the thought that I was glad that it wasn’t a sexual story.

“There is no sense of distance? Still, if you don’t approach from one side first, won’t it become awkward?”

“It’s because my sister is so nice. It is true that if there is little talk between parents and children, they become awkward.”

“That may be true, but… .”

I felt like my older sister cared a lot about my parents and took a lot of things into consideration. If you listen to what my sister said, it definitely made sense.

But it was too idealistic. In a way, it was true that it would be better for my father to approach me first, as it would be awkward if no one spoke to me.

I just didn’t like that.

My parents were away from home due to frequent business trips, and I almost never had a chance to talk to them. So, I don’t know what to say, nor do I feel the need to say it.

It’s not as simple as saying I don’t like my parents, but I’m at a loss as to how to explain it.

“That’s right.”

My older sister walked quickly, repeating what she had said in a mutter.

“That’s right, we’ve been living as if we were the only ones. Excluding money issues and the environment.”

“Yes.”

My older sister passed by first, then stood there and looked back at me.

My steps slowed down to match my sister’s, and I stopped facing her.

As my sister said, I felt like my family was only my sister.

“That’s right.”

Like my older sister, I answered as if I were repeating what I had said.

I felt lonely due to the presence of my parents who seemed to have been absent since I was young. I wanted that kind of harmony when I saw other friends’ families. I wanted warmth.

I wanted the kind of domestic harmony that my parents said I would get, but I didn’t get what I wanted.

And as time passed, it became a natural thing. Having grown up like that, I no longer wanted that.

“Because I thought it was just my older sister.”

My lips were trembling.

I remember a time when we stayed at home just the two of us. When I was in middle school, I was immature, not too young, but not mature enough.

A time when the only people we could rely on were each other. We had no choice but to become closer. When I came home, the only people at home were my sister and I.

If you don’t become close friends, home becomes a lonely and lonely space.

This was a fact that my older sister knew well, so she approached me in a friendly manner without anyone else taking the lead.

“Okay. It can be uncomfortable for both dad and mom.”

My older sister, who was thinking about her parents, heard me, looked at my expression, and answered with a bitter smile.

Every time I see my sister like that, every time she talks like this, I am reminded of a time when I crossed the line.

We created the relationship we have now because we were immature at the time and had no social boundaries to cross.

The more we mix our bodies, the more blurred the lines set by society become, making it difficult to know where we should and should not cross.

As time passed, we came to think of ourselves as family. Sometimes, both my father and mother who came home felt like strangers. We grew up without the affection our parents gave us, so we didn’t think much about them.

“You are not strange.”

“I think it’s a little strange that my older sister actually thinks about my parents. Did you say anything other than me?”

“No, that’s not it. It felt like Mom and Dad were a little trying to talk to us… ”

“Really? My older sister seems to be a bit sensitive to it, but I just have the same personality as my parents.”

My sister continued speaking, respecting my opinion.

But on the other hand, I couldn’t understand why my sister cared so much about my parents. When I asked my sister to think about it from her perspective, she waved her hand and walked forward again.

I walked as if following my older sister and listened to what she said.

Listening to my sister’s words, I understood her position to some extent. If you think about it that way, maybe you should pay more attention.

I nodded my head and listened to what my sister said, but since my thoughts were a little different, I added my sister’s opinion.

“… Umm. Am I being sensitive?”

“Honestly, my parents. It felt like that whenever we met. I bet your sister is sensitive. It’s okay to be a little insensitive. I’m just saying this because I think my sister will get tired if I do that.”

My sister heard me and her steps slowed down a little. It seemed like he was worried about something.

As if driving a wedge, I spoke again, worried about my sister. I said this out of the feeling that only my sister would be tired for no reason.

Of course, if you had talked to your parents separately when I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have anything to say.

“Okay. Thank you for your concern.”

“No.”

My sister seemed to be grateful for my concern, and she smiled brightly and came next to me again, matching her walking speed.

“Ha. yes. Since there were only two of us, we didn’t really know what our parents were like, so maybe we were paying more attention to them for no reason.”

When my sister heard what I said, she seemed to remember something a little and nodded and sighed.

As I said, he smiled sheepishly, saying that he may have been a little overly attentive.

“It could be so.”

“Oh, don’t pat my head. It gets messy.”

“You’re not going to meet anyone anyway, so you’re going home like this, right?”

“… That’s true, but.”

Seeing my sister in a strange mood with a bitter smile made me smile. As I was carelessly stroking my older sister’s hair as if trying to control my emotions, my older sister pulled back as if complaining.

My hands wandered in the air, having nowhere to go, and I glanced at my sister.

“Shall we go back soon?”

“That’s okay. Is there anywhere else to go?”

“No, it would be better to go back soon. I also have parents.”

While I was walking aimlessly, a passage leading up to a public road caught my eye. It must be proof that you walked quite a bit.

What should I do with my sister? I asked with that feeling, and my sister also asked me if I couldn’t think of any place to go right now.

At those words, I shook my head and pointed to the time on my smartphone.

“… What are you thinking?”

“Just. This and that.”

I walked to a nearby bus stop to catch the bus home.

As I was sitting on a chair at the bus stop, lost in thought while waiting for the next bus, my sister glanced at me and spoke to me.

“I was thinking about the old days.”

I caught my eye as my older sister pursed her lips as if she didn’t want that answer.

Oops. I opened my mouth again and supplemented my answer.

“How long ago?”

“When I was talking about my parents earlier, I remembered my middle school days.”

“… Umm. Are you thinking about that? I want to tell you to quit because it’s so embarrassing.”

“This is a story only we know anyway, so is there anything to be ashamed of?”

My sister asked while tilting her head, and I answered by tapping my foot on the ground.

Then, as if she had roughly guessed what I was thinking, my sister blushed and spoke to me as if she were complaining.

“Still, when I think about it at that time, it makes me think of the woman I am revealing.”

“Wasn’t it meant to be revealed? No matter how bad you are, until high school… ”

“Hey hey! Don’t say it!”

“Oh, it hurts! Wow, you hit me really hard.”

“It’s because you’re trying to say something strange. Even though there are no people around, do I really need to talk about that here?”

When I said it as if it was no big deal, my sister hesitantly spoke as if she was embarrassed, putting her index fingers together.

Feeling like I wanted to bother her, I grinned, made eye contact with my sister, and spoke.

Then, as if to stop me from speaking, my sister slapped my back from next to me. I glanced at my sister in a dazed voice, and she puffed out her cheeks and turned her head.

“… They say the bus is coming soon.”

“Sure.”

The electronic board said that the bus we were supposed to take would arrive soon.

My older sister, who saw this, spoke carefully first. I nodded and got up to catch the bus that would come soon.

“Shall we talk about this later?”

“I won’t do it.”

I stood up first, looked down at my sister who was sitting there, and spoke to her as if joking.

Then my sister said “hum.” and cut it like a knife while snarling her mouth.