episode_0026

“Again… . Say it again… .”

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The eyes of the presiding priest Antonelli flashed. As he raised his arm, his vestments slid down, causing the coarse veins on his forearms to twitch.

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“What did I do?”

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In an instant, Priest Camilla was grabbed by the collar and shoved hard against the wall, grimacing in pain as his neck was strangled.

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In the eyes of Father Camilla, the face of the head priest Antonelli, who was even more distorted than hers, appeared. His glasses had flown away, and there was nothing that could block the intense gaze of his eyes and Father Camilla.

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His eyes, looking at Priest Camilla, are filled with regret. Sadness, dry sadness, seems ready to become firewood.

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And, Father Antonelli could not hold back. He set fire to his own parched emotions. There was no need to pour oil on them or blow wind into them.

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The eyes of the chief priest Antonelli were gleaming with something indescribable. It was a rage like a wild, unprepared, blazing fire that consumed everything.

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“Keuk, ugh… !”

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Father Camilla grabbed Father Antonelli’s arm. He pushed with all his might, but his arm wouldn’t budge. Father Camilla struggled desperately and cried out.

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“Let go of this… !”

“What do you know about something like that… .”

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The words he spoke had the weight of a heavy stone. Priest Camilla gritted her teeth and glared at him.

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And as if he would not give in, Father Antonelli also glared at her with bloodshot eyes.

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“… Okay. I get it now.”

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Father Antonelli glared fiercely at the struggling priest Camilla. The corners of his mouth curled up in a mean manner, as if he found her appearance insignificant.

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“You fought in the Great War, too. Right?”

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In order to find the weak point of Priest Camilla, he started to mercilessly expose her past.

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“You fought in the Great War too. That’s why you’re asking me such a ridiculous question.”

“Ugh… . Th, this… . Let go… .”

“No matter how you look at it, it looks like you’re just a kid in your mid-twenties. If that’s true, you must have been a member of the Youth Cross of the Relief Priests’ Association.”

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The anger of the parish priest Antonelli grew stronger. The strength with which he grabbed the collar of priest Camilla grew stronger.

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“Ugh… !”

“I know you brats. Just because you’re a few years younger than us, you probably treat the wounded in the rear, and recite prayers filled with sympathy for the wounded who seek the Lord’s name with empty hearts.”

“What, what sound are you making… .”

“Without even knowing that it was their consideration, you probably developed a little pride. You were so obsessed with the label of a war veteran that you forgot about the countless young people who had fallen in front of you…!”

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Father Camilla began to tap Father Antonelli on the arm. Father Antonelli loosened his strong grip on her neck a little. He was afraid that she might faint.

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“Priest Camilla. Do you know? While you were sitting in the back playing house, Helena and I were crossing the line of fire.”

“Profit…! I, I…!”

“Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear or be curious about the narrative full of all the hypocrisy of a selfish bitch like you.”

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Father Antonelli’s eyes welled up. He was so angry that he almost burst into tears.

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“You’re a veteran of the same year, and you seem to have a mid-level priest on your back… If you dare to hold me to a half-baked standard while handing out those kid’s pranks as your business card, you’d better not even dream about it.”

“Ugh… ! Okay, I made a mistake… !”

“… Ha. Haha… !”

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Father Antonelli laughed bitterly. Father Camilla muttered with tears in her eyes.

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“I, I… . I made a slip of the tongue… ! Please, fix this… .”

“You’re saying that now? You, you really are… .”

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Towards her, Father Antonelli whispered:

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“You’re such a cowardly bitch… .”

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You’re a cowardly woman. It’s funny how you’re always picking on things without even knowing what’s going on, and now you’re tugging on my tail and whining.

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It was the kind of vulgar swearing that you would never imagine he would utter.

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“I don’t know how you know Helena’s name, though.”

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Father Antonelli said, his teeth grinding loudly.

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“Don’t you dare apply your petty standards to me. Don’t try to judge my actions.”

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Because I went to war at a young age, I only heard about the cruel and horrific conditions on the front lines through eavesdropping.

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While I was pulling the wounded into the trenches with all my might, along with the priestess Helena, and healing them on the battlefield where dirt and severed body parts were flying around, I was just sitting comfortably in the first aid station and reciting some odd prayers.

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“When Helena died without even being able to scream, you weren’t even there—!”

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bang!

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The right hand of the parish priest Antonelli, who was not holding the collar of the priest Camilla, struck the wall hard. The sound was so loud that the harsh noise echoed throughout the parish.

“Don’t pass the responsibility on to someone else.”

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Priest Antonelli, who had been frowning for a moment, slowly released the hand that was holding Priest Camilla’s collar. Priest Camilla, who had collapsed against the wall, took a deep breath of fresh air.

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“Colok! Colok… ! Ugh, haa… !”

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Drool flowed from the mouth of Father Camilla, who was taking a deep breath. Father Antonelli let out a heavy sigh.

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“Hoo… .”

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He was frustrated with this situation. In the end, this situation where nothing was resolved, this ending where only discomfort remained for both sides, was frustrating to the point of madness.

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Father Antonelli took a slow, deep breath. After taking a few deep breaths, his arms, which had been shaking incessantly due to anger, gradually stopped moving.

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“Camilla Priest. I will not apologize.”

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The rough tone of speech had returned, although his tone of speech was extremely cold.

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“From now on, do not disparage Priest Helena in front of me.”

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Father Camilla, who had been listening to his words silently, stood up with unsteady steps and shouted angrily.

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“When did I meet Priest Helena…!”

“The very act of you bringing up the subject of Priest Helena is an insult to her and a belittling of her death.”

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Father Camilla was speechless. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she glared hard, not wanting Father Antonelli to see her.

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Looking at her like that, Father Antonelli sighed softly and said.

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“… The job of welcoming you. I guess I shouldn’t have been in charge of this.”

“… … .”

“Report this to Father Peter, or go to the Vatican and report it, do as you wish. And… .”

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Father Antonelli glanced at Father Camilla’s robes, which had stretched out to the limit. It seemed urgent that she change her clothes.

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“I would like to ask Deacon Sophia for guidance on the faculty dormitory. Please handle the fingers as soon as possible.”

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Before he could hear Father Camilla’s answer, Father Antonelli turned and walked away from her.

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It was a cold, heavy notification that he did not want to talk to me any more.

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* * * * *

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“Hoo… .”

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I buried myself in the sofa in the priest’s office. My body, which had been complaining of fatigue, began to relax as it was swallowed up by the soft cushions.

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Deacon Sophia and Priest Peter were no longer here. I stared blankly into space for a moment.

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“… You idiot.”

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I felt so stupid that I couldn’t stand it. I was so pathetic that I couldn’t even sigh.

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Was it really necessary to get angry? Couldn’t there have been a way to listen to what she had to say?

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While I was thinking that, another me inside my mind was denying it.

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Well done. In fact, it’s amazing that you didn’t use your fists.

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That duality of mine is so disgusting that I can’t stand it… .

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“… … .”

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I remember myself grabbing her by the collar and urging her on. I had given control of my body over to a simple emotion called anger.

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I remember the look in the eyes of Priest Camilla as she looked at me with her face red from suffocation. Her eyes seemed possessed by evil, yet at the same time, terrified.

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A thick, dark disgust, like a sticky swamp, slowly crept up on me. I felt goosebumps crawling on my skin, as if bugs were crawling on it, and I unconsciously slid my arms down.

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What was the difference between me and Priest Camilla? Why did I boast so much about killing more people and healing those who had their limbs cut off?

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He took the cigarette out of his pocket, laughing at himself. The process of slowly putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it with a match was as natural as the flow of water.

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As I bit into the filter, the refreshing minty scent seemed to relieve some of the stuffiness that had been lingering deep in my lungs. I exhaled thick cigarette smoke into the air.

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My head, which had been burning hot, cooled down a little. I was more than happy with the current situation where I could think rationally.

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First of all, let me apologize to Father Peter. It was rude of him to run away without saying anything while we were talking.

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If it were a meeting I personally arranged, I wouldn’t know, but I was the one who greeted them as a representative of the Academy. So, I had to be as careful as possible… .

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“Oh my… .”

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I couldn’t help but burst out in a ridiculous laughter. It was ridiculous to care about something like this, since I had already done that to Father Camilla. I extinguished the cigarette butt in the ashtray and put a new cigarette in my mouth.

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As the time I spent smoking increased, the number of cigarette butts piled up in the ashtray increased. On the other hand, the burden on my mind gradually became lighter.

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How long has it been since I was smoking a cigarette like that?

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Bam.

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“Chief Priest. Just now… . Cough! Cough!”

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Deacon Sophia, who entered the parsonage, coughed and frowned at the sight of the cigarette smoke filling the room. I quickly opened the window to ventilate the room.

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“I’m sorry, Deacon Sophia.”

“Cough! Cough! You have to ventilate and smoke… Cough!”

“… I’m really sorry.”

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I hate myself. It’s pathetic how I always act like this and cause trouble to those around me.

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I tried to suppress my deep self-loathing and threw the empty cigarette pack into the trash can. As the smoke cleared, Deacon Sophia slowly entered the parsonage.

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“Really, it’s not even a raccoon’s den… . Please make sure to ventilate in the future.”

“I will be careful.”

“I took the two of you to the dormitory.”

“Thank you for your hard work, Deacon Sophia.”

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Deacon Sophia, who had been standing there for a moment, sat down carefully on the sofa next to me. Her eyes turned to the table.

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“The black tea has cooled down… .”

“… … .”

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While Father Peter and Father Camilla’s teacups were half empty, the cup in front of me had barely any tea left, cold.

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I opened my mouth, sipping my cold black tea.

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“Deacon Sophia. Are you very surprised?”

“What else?”

“A little while ago, when I ran outside.”

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The expression on Deacon Sophia’s face when she heard what I said became strangely distorted. Her face looked like she was about to cry, but she was trying hard to hold back laughter.

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Deacon Sophia stared at my face for a moment, then sighed deeply and said.

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“Haa… It’s okay. I’m more worried about the head priest.”

“I am fine.”

“Ahahaha… . Alright… . The head priest is always like that… .”

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There was a somewhat sad expression on his face. As I looked at him, for some reason, I felt uneasy.

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“Chief Priest. I trust you, Chief Priest.”

“Thank you.”

“So, I hope the head priest will trust me too.”

“… … .”

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After that, there was no more conversation. We continued the silence while quietly drinking our tea.

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The black tea, which had cooled down, was more bitter than I expected.

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