episode_0025

“Keueuuk, kueuuu… … .”

The room was completely dark with the curtains drawn.

An unknown sound was heard in a place where nothing could be seen.

“Keuuk… … .”

Even though Leasian’s hands were shaking, he did not stop holding the sword.

Thanks to this, the blood that was flowing begins to flow more vigorously.

Just by looking at her shaking hands, you would think it was because she was afraid of hurting herself.

The face peeking from the side denied it.

She was crying sadly.

“Huh… … .”

Slit your wrists. sick. Blood drips. Draw again.

This process was repeated several times.

The blood on the floor was so thick that if she hadn’t been of the Larun tribe, she would have died long ago.

Leasian. now stop.

“Hmm… … .”

As usual, despite the sudden auditory hallucination, she did not stop cutting as if she did not hear anything.

There were several cuts here and there, but they were so concentrated that if I did well, I felt like I could cut the knife into the bone.

At this point, Saruna couldn’t just sit back and watch.

Leasian. Stop it.

The illusion touched Leasian’s body.

However, since it is not a reality in any way, illusions overlap with Rheasian’s arms and body.

She was unable to use physical force.

However, it was enough to lift Leasian’s gaze for a moment.

“… … .”

His eyes were completely stained with tears and were out of focus.

Saruna saw that and opened her mouth.

Why are you doing this? You decided to humbly accept it and adapt.

There was silence for a moment.

After hearing his mother’s words, Leasian slowly shook his head.

“I didn’t know it would be like this either. I didn’t know it hurt this much.”

You can’t keep doing this forever.

“… I don’t want to hear that from you.”

… … .

At one word from Leasian, Saruna became mute.

Her eyes trembled.

“You were just like me, right? So you said you knew it well. At least… then. There’s no way I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”

Leasian’s voice was full of despair.

At night, there was more silence than during the day.

As the world got ready for sleep, all the lights were turned off, leaving only the faint moonlight.

Then, naturally, I was the only one who was awake.

quiet… . It was so quiet.

The sound of the servants moving little by little stopped.

Leasian felt truly alone in the world.

The emotions that I keep trying to bury come out.

I didn’t want to think about it. Now that everything is over.

I didn’t want to feel his absence.

It was like that before.

I woke up in the morning and imagined that Camiel had disappeared.

I really hated it so much.

I wish it was like that even before my feelings for him became deeper than they are now… .

How painful it must be now.

My whole body was torn apart, and the pain couldn’t even be compared to the pain I felt when I cut my wrists with a knife.

To the point where I really think it would be better to die… pain.

“Really… Shall we do that?”

I don’t know what you’re thinking… Seems like a very risky idea, doesn’t it?

Leasian did not respond, but gradually raised his trembling hand upward.

The knife passed through the abdomen, chest, and shoulder, gradually getting closer to the neck.

The blade seemed to have been sharpened so well that it would shine brightly if there was light.

Leasian. What are you trying to do now?

Saruna looked at her daughter with a straight face.

The knife was getting closer and closer to the neck.

“… Why? You always made me suffer.”

From the time I saw visions and heard sounds that others could not hear until now.

Leasian never had an easy day.

Ah, now that I think about it, there were times like that, albeit a little.

‘When Camiel is by my side.’

It was a past I could no longer return to, and it was the happiest time.

It will be a memory I will never forget even after I die.

“You always put me to the test. As if they were watching to see if I would die or not. however… Why are you telling me not to die now? Wasn’t this what you wanted too?”

Saruna’s mouth opened and closed several times.

Rheasian couldn’t tell because he wasn’t looking at her.

However, when no sound was heard, I could only scoff inwardly.

‘perhaps. ‘Maybe he wanted to kill himself.’

Leasian never thought that his mother would stick around for no reason.

So why does the mother stick by her daughter’s side until she dies?

‘It’s probably because they still hate me.’

A self-deprecating smile appeared on her face.

At one time… There was a time when I had the delusion that my mother meant something to me and that I was attached to her.

Although it was really only a moment.

Rheasian held the sword he was holding with both hands, even with the one hand he was not using.

The tip of the knife was pointed at her neck.

The trembling of my hands that I had been feeling for a moment stopped.

‘I hope we can meet again someday… .’

The sight of her holding the knife to her throat was very calm.

Death, which was getting closer little by little, eventually left only a finger’s span of length left.

Leasian’s body leaned to the side.

dump.

She doesn’t move as if she’s dead.

After a while, the sound of quiet breathing regularly echoed through the room.

… It had to be like this.

Saruna sat next to her sleeping daughter and carefully combed her disheveled hair with her hands.

Of course, it was pointless.

As I said before, she was an illusion without substance.

Just you… I was hoping you wouldn’t go down the same path as me.

Saruna’s eyes were faint.

It was a look in his eyes that seemed to recall someone he missed or someone he hated.

What I couldn’t do… You’re speaking as if you’re being forced.

Saruna mutters softly.

I was not a good mother to you, both in life and in death.

There were many things I felt again.

I wonder when he grew up like this, but for the sake of this child’s future… .

It’s a pity, but it seemed like it would have to disappear for the time being.

When I wake up, everything that happened that night will remain as a dream… .

With words like a kind of spell,

The illusion dissolved into darkness.

The morning sunlight tickles my pale skin.

Leasian opened his eyes to the sound of sparrows chirping along with the sound of busy footsteps.

I woke up quickly and looked around, but there was nothing.

‘I… ‘When did you fall asleep?’

Thinking that she must have slept without realizing it, she unconsciously smoothed her hair.

no wonder… I felt like my mind was being relaxed.

“This is not the time. If you want to wait for Kamiel to come, prepare now… … .”

ah.

Those short words awakened her spirit.

‘that’s right. Camiel is no more… … .’

Because he himself kicked him out.

In the name of feeling better now.

‘Actually, it’s not okay at all… .’

It was all a lie.

As before, she was willing to go to this place for Camiel’s sake.

However, when I go out to visit, I still feel uneasy and endlessly afraid.

so… The symptoms I had before never got better.

She knew very well that having Kamiel by her side would only make her unhappy.

because… Letting go was the best choice for her.

Fight, tap… … .

Leasian shed tears quietly.

Now I’ve shed too many tears. I couldn’t tell if it was because I was sad or if it was just my body reacting.

but… It seemed a little sad now.

It was a lovely morning scene.

“You’re not crying today?”

‘Is it this guy again?’

Leashian, who was sitting in the flower garden without realizing the passage of time, thought.

The voice coming from behind was very annoying.

Ruanel walked at a leisurely pace and sat down opposite Rheasian.

Rheasian only gave her an emotionless look for a moment, then turned his gaze back to the flower.

“You’re still depressed today. As if I were the heroine of a tragedy all by myself.”

“… Why are you fighting all of a sudden?”

“It happened on the day that Atran guy fell.”

“What nonsense is that… ”

“I even thought about killing that guy that day.”

Damn it!

The bursting cold instantly froze the tea table.

Lively light brown eyes captured the dark-haired girl.

“Say it again. What?”

“There is no need to be so sharp. Because I just came to talk about what I heard that day.”

Ruanel responded without paying attention to the force of her threatening him.

However, for some reason, his expression was much calmer than usual.

All of the composure and confidence I had before were suppressed.

It just seemed like he was holding back a lot of his emotions.

“I grabbed his neck to kill him. I could break it whenever I wanted to.”

The coldness gradually froze Hwawon as her words continued.

However, on the contrary, when Ruanel’s energy melted the flower garden again, conflicting energies collided.

“But he said something out of the blue. People like, “Why isn’t my life mine?” It was completely unheard of.”

Leasian wanted to punish the girl in front of him right away.

In addition to almost killing Camiel, I felt something.

I felt anxious.

“You said a lot of things to me. At the time, I felt it wasn’t the same, but… Looking back, it was all true.”

“What do you want to say? Just get to the point.”

A wry smile appeared on Ruanel’s face for the first time.

“Be impatient… . It’s the scene you want soon, so wait a moment. Anyway, he tried to persuade me. In the process, his happiness also became a topic of discussion.”

“He expressed his happiness as his feelings for you.”

“… … .”

Leasian’s eyes widened.

“I found new happiness by coming here. And that was my feelings for you. I was being sarcastic. Then the guy said this.”

It’s okay to say that I can’t see you anymore.

As long as the lady is happy… Is that my happiness?

As Leasian listened to the last words, his face naturally appeared in her mind.

As for Camiel… He was smiling sincerely as always.

Lady give it to me. He loves me, and sometimes he complains, but I don’t know that it’s because he likes me.

Leasian wanted to refute him if he was there.

no. I just want you for my own happiness… … .

I can no longer recreate my previous happiness. Because I have already tasted a better moment called now.

‘… me too. The time before I met you was so good that I couldn’t even think about it. I was happy.’

“What if you are left alone in the world? He said he would disappear and wish you happiness when you were reborn somewhere. I hope I can return to your side… … .”

Leasian may also have felt this when he heard these words, but when Ruanel heard these words from him.

For the first time, I thought about happiness other than the one that was taken from me.

‘And then I realized. To you who told me this… ‘I have a heart.’

Although its depth may be shallow and insignificant.

Because it was her first time feeling this emotion, it was extremely precious to her.

So I was worried.

If you think about it, it was an opportunity now that Kamiel left Rheasian’s side.

‘Maybe this feeling can grow deeper. ‘If I’m by your side.’

but… Everything was still unfamiliar and uncertain.

So I headed to the flower garden to see Leasian and make up my mind.

‘You were crying pathetically. so… I had to think again.’

In that condition, there was a high possibility that I would suffer alone.

Do you think you can catch that guy right now?

Shall I make this feeling complete?

After thinking and pondering all night, she came to the conclusion… It was the same as what I’m about to say now.

“But, what did you do all night, your wrists are covered in scars, and you are once again wasting time doing something meaningless… . Are you still worried?”

“… … Why are you saying this?”

Rheasian wasn’t crying, though.

Tears didn’t stop flowing from my eyes.

Is it touching? Or is it longing?

It was good no matter what.

I wanted to meet Camiel again.

“Well… I guess it’s time for me to die too.”

Rheasian was dazed for a moment by her joke, then laughed quietly.

“Thank you.”

The way he stood up seemed energetic.

After a while… By the time Rheasian’s footsteps could no longer be heard.

Ruanel, who was left alone in the flower garden, slowly raised his head and looked up at the sky.

“After long consideration, I made a decision. It was the right decision.”

Stealing Kamiel might have been a way to find happiness in one’s own way.

However, I hope that the person who gave birth to these feelings will be happy.

That was the new happiness Ruanel found.