episode_0023

It’s troublesome.

Very troublesome.

If you ask what’s troublesome, it’s the lack of distance. It’s the close proximity of Serin that’s pressing in without hesitation.

“Riheart oppa, what if you fall off! You should stick with Serin unni!”

“That’s right. Is Riann an adult who can’t even handle Tiel’s tantrums?”

“No… that’s not it… I’m just extremely flustered in an unfamiliar situation.”

I bow my head deeply.

Serin’s clear blue eyes. It’s hard to stare into them without feeling the flames burning inside. In a moment of realization, I felt like I would be consumed by the flames.

‘What on earth… am I being swept away by?’

As I carefully trace back my steps, I’m sure the source of the trouble will be recorded at the end.

When I reverse my memory, I quickly recall the answer.

Right. It was clearly when Serin started wandering around the rooms during Esutiel’s palace tour.

Exploring the rooms Serin frequents, Esutiel’s curiosity naturally peaked. And the room that she expressed the most interest in was the art room set up for art classes.

Neatly arranged easels and a large canvas.

A well-drawn picture that is presumed to be drawn by Serin.

For Esutiel, there were more tempting items in that room than anything else.

[“Serin unni. Are you good at drawing?”]

[“Up to a certain level of culture?”]

[“Wow, I’m jealous!”]

[“Does Tiel want to try drawing too?”]

[“Sure, why not?”]

[“Of course, draw as much as you want!”]

Serin’s generous permission was the beginning. Esutiel quickly learned the basics of using the easel and immediately started working on her first piece. And the subject of the work she wanted to draw… was us.

[“I want to draw Riheart oppa and Serin unni… can you be models for me?”]

As soon as Esutiel’s request came out, a spark flashed in Serin’s eyes. Immediately, she grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me to the narrow sofa with tremendous force.

Like a tiger pouncing on a rabbit. That’s how I felt at the time.

Whenever I tried to pull away even a little,

“Riheart oppa! It’s hard to capture everything with your eyes!”

Esutiel’s disapproval flew at me.

And when I tried to slowly pull away so that Esutiel wouldn’t notice,

“Oh my. Are you sleepy? You keep leaning over, Riann!”

Serin grabbed me fiercely, showing her sharp claws.

That’s how I ended up in my frozen state. Truly, in a situation where it felt like I was being swallowed by a net that reached the sky…

“But what about Tiel? He’s wearing a mask, so it’s hard to draw him.”

How happy would I be if she let me go. Serin whispered as if complaining. But Esutiel, who was receiving her consideration, seemed to have a different perspective.

“I’m fine!”

“Are you trying to draw him with the mask on?”

“No! I’ll just draw Riheart oppa’s face as it is!”

“What, what…?!”

Serin suddenly stood up. But perhaps due to the past where she relentlessly criticized me for ruining the drawing, she quickly sat back down.

“Strange, isn’t it? Could it be that Serin unni doesn’t know Riheart oppa’s face?”

“Uh, yeah…”

Serin reluctantly agreed with a dejected face. Then, Esutiel stuck out her tongue and scolded her.

“Ooh, oppa is so mean.”

“That’s right…! He’s really mean! Haha… haha…”

“Our oppa is really pretty, right? Tell me you want to see him.”

“That’s right, our pretty Riann?”

“Um…”

I couldn’t help but blush. The expression of Esutiel being beautiful was somewhat embarrassing, but it was also because Serin’s eyes, piercing as if they could devour someone, were overwhelming.

“I’m fine with any face that Lian has.”

“What does it matter if he’s not handsome?”

“Even if he’s not that good-looking, it’s fine. What’s important is that I like him.”

“Is that so…”

As I maintained a lukewarm attitude, Serin grabbed my hand with her slender fingers. Her bright smile had disappeared, replaced by a childlike, petulant expression.

Serin speaks.

“To be honest, can I be frank? I know Lian is handsome. If his eyes are beautiful, then he must be handsome. But is Lian just average? He’s almost the most handsome in the world.”

“That’s… an exaggeration.”

“But it doesn’t matter. Even if half of his face is scarred, or if he’s covered in bruises, that’s not a concern for me.”

“Serin…?”

“It’s like that in romance novels. Even if the protagonist is ordinary, a handsome and talented male lead pours endless affection. I didn’t really understand this before, but as time passed, I began to understand.”

Serin casually used terms I didn’t know. It was difficult to interpret half of the sentences she spouted. Nevertheless, her sincerity and passion reached me completely, causing me to nod in agreement.

“This… there’s no other choice but him. Even if he’s broken and ugly, even if there are plenty of handsome men around, they’re not considerations. Especially for someone like me, who has been stubborn for a dozen years.”

“What do you mean by being stubborn for a dozen years…?”

In response to my rightful question, Serin lightly rolled her eyes and fixed her gaze on me. But when I showed no reaction, she sighed deeply and averted her intense gaze.

“Anyway, the bottom line is… even if in the past I would have cared, now I don’t pay attention to Lian’s appearance. What’s important is that he’s Lian.”

Heavy.

The weight of Serin’s words on her lips was heavy.

A series of incomprehensible sentences. A statement that was distant from understanding.

Yet, I felt a certainty that it was meant for me, and a strange feeling crept up from my spine to my chest.

“I don’t know what nonsense this is? Tell me honestly.”

“…Even if I don’t think it’s nonsense, I do have difficulty understanding.”

“I thought so. But it’s okay. To me, Lian is still acceptable. Why, didn’t we conclude that we were close at the cafe back then? Consider it as an extension of that.”

“Um, I understand.”

Although I responded abruptly, it had been a long time since difficult concepts were erased from my mind.

‘Sometimes Serin’s casual speech is impressive…’

A strange thought suddenly overwhelmed me. I wanted to reprimand myself for not fully concentrating on Serin.

Her strength is evident. Admiration arose as her always confident demeanor matched her. Of course, it was difficult to handle excessive confidence that even pressured the distance…

‘Hmm…’

I tightened my grip on Serin’s hand that she had forcibly held. With the sensation of our intertwined fingers, I caught Serin’s surprised eyes.

I didn’t avoid her gaze.

It felt like she could see through the mask, like a wolf, her eyes resembling those of a wolf.

Yes, a wolf. She resembled a wolf.

Serin resembled a wolf. And not just any wolf, but a personification of the alpha wolf leading the pack.

The luscious black hair reminded me of a wolf’s thick fur, and the intense gaze captured the hunting spirit of a wolf. She was like a woman who could make you imagine a wolf that never lets go of its prey once caught.

Was that why?

I absentmindedly ran my fingers through her soft, fluffy hair. As I did, the slightly curly strands slipped through my fingers like flowing water.

If I were to tightly embrace her, would the soft sensation spread throughout my body? Even as I dared to entertain indecent thoughts, I couldn’t easily dismiss them. I was beyond redemption.

“Rian…?”

“Ah…”

I called out Serin’s name cautiously, snapping back to reality. I couldn’t even find words to excuse myself in the embarrassing situation. Apologizing was the only way out after stumbling and fumbling.

“I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s okay…”

Serin’s face turned away, but her ear peeked through the strands of hair. It was a flushed ear, devoid of its usual paleness.

She must be angry.

It was only natural to feel this way after recklessly touching a single woman’s hair.

Serin didn’t show her face for a long time.

It felt unpleasant.

A different kind of unpleasant feeling compared to when Esutier imagined longing for the prince.

My chest, my heart, it all felt somehow painful. Meeting Serin’s eyes now might ease the pain a bit, or it might worsen it.

It was confusing.

Maybe it would be better not to meet her eyes like this.

Just as I thought that, Serin slowly lifted her head. Her lips slightly parted as she looked at me with a pained expression.

“Um, Rian.”

“Yes, Serin.”

“Are you sorry to me?”

“Yes.”

“You already combed my hair.”

“There’s a clear difference between asking for permission and not.”

“Then it should be unnecessary now.”

“What?”

Serin firmly grasped my hand, which had been hesitantly withdrawn. Her touch was as solid as hardening chocolate.

“If we reach a point where we can touch each other’s hair as we please, then the problem will be solved.”

“But…”

“What’s wrong with doing this alone? I also really want to touch Rian’s hair. I’ve been holding back for a long time. I don’t think I’ve reached that point yet.”

“If it’s okay with you, even with my hair… I would have accepted it if you had asked.”

“I know. I knew, but I didn’t think I should do that. I didn’t know when I might turn into a beast.”

“A beast…”

It was still a cryptic metaphor. So, I shared my thoughts about her as they were.

“Serin resembles a wolf.”

“A wolf?”

“I just… felt that way. Are you upset?”

“Of course not. I, um, like wolves the most among animals.”

Serin pulled away slightly. The distance that had momentarily disappeared was restored.

The scent of grass and her warm body made my heart pound against my chest.

“Do you know why I like wolves?”

“Because they’re cool?”

“Hmm, does that mean from Rian’s perspective, I’m a cool person?”

“Yes. Serin is a cool person.”

“Ah…”

Serin’s cheek, which had been regaining its color, turned a bit redder.

At times like this, even touching her seemed delicate. But it was a side of her that seemed more vulnerable than her usual confident self.

I absentmindedly stared at her, almost mesmerized.

Suddenly, Serin leaned in closer to me. Our bodies were pressed together, almost seamlessly.

And then, she moved her delicate lips.

“You know, Rian. Do you know that?”

“What… are you talking about…”

I looked at Serin, who was gazing at me intently. Her breath released a strange warmth.

“The wolf never betrays the mate it has chosen. For a lifetime.”

For a lifetime. At those words, I involuntarily flinched. It was a feeling that couldn’t be easily described, a sensation that made me feel uneasy.

“Just like that. So, I’m happy that Lian sees me as a wolf.”

With a slightly flushed face, she smiled.

Thump. Thump.

My chest ached.

And my whole body tingled, as if there was no place untouched by Serin’s fingers.

Her faint smile that I was gazing at was a forceful charm.

“Where should I look?”

Serin’s hand gently touched my head.

Swoosh, swoosh.

Like petting a beloved pet, her slender fingers carefully ran through my hair.

“It’s soft… much more than I imagined.”

“Indeed.”

I slightly lowered my head below Serin’s eye level. It was a gesture born out of the discomfort of her reaching out her arms.

In response, Serin caressed me with a satisfied touch.

“…”

“…”

If Serin could read my mind, she would surely send a disdainful glance.

I felt good.

I wanted to enjoy her touch until the day darkened, kneeling at her feet.

It was a sinful desire.

A desire that must not be fulfilled, a greed that must be contained.

“Hehe…”

Is she satisfied with just playing with my hair?

Serin’s laughter flowed cheerfully.

Afterwards.

Far away.

The sound of Estelle diligently sketching enveloped us in silence.