episode_0023

I grabbed her hand.

It was truly a small and delicate hand.

How many tears had this hand wiped away?

Thinking that you must have been in pain, my heart ached as if it would tear apart.

I would have been okay with you cursing at me instead.

Saying love is heavy, that there’s no need for gifts.

Even if you said you hated me, although it would have hurt, I could have accepted it.

But you blamed yourself.

Without any fault, just unlucky to be born that way.

That’s why you, who had to suffer so much, blamed yourself rather than others.

Yes.

Blame me instead.

If only I could go back a little further.

If I had taken care of you from a very young age, things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

Of course, I know it’s an impossible story.

But if I didn’t think like this, it felt like I was just admitting that it was your fault.

You clearly did nothing wrong.

To me, you are more precious than anything else.

I couldn’t bear to watch you belittle yourself.

So please…

“…Please stop, stop it.”

I said deeply, bowing my head.

Because I couldn’t bring myself to look at her face.

The head of the sinner who tormented you for ten years was too heavy.

I can feel Luna’s hand trembling lightly.

She was also quite flustered.

I should apologize.

Luna must have gathered her courage in her own way and tried to speak, but she ended up acting against etiquette.

Thinking that, I slowly raised my head.

The blue letters that had embroidered the empty space scatter and disappear.

The traces of you belittling yourself are erased.

Finally facing her, she seemed a bit surprised.

Just slightly widening her eyes, but it was definitely different from her usual expression.

“You’re surprised too.”

I thought rather humorously, inappropriately given the atmosphere.

Thanks to that, my heart calmed down a bit, and I slowly let go of her hand that I had been holding.

As the warmth I felt from her hand disappeared, a somewhat lonely sensation arose.

Eventually, you, who had been silently gazing at me, began to move the hand that had been still.

[Are you okay? If something hurts after all….]

“I’m fine. It’s just that it was hard to see Princess Luna belittle herself.”

[But…]

“Was there anything you said just now that was what the princess wanted?”

No one in the world wants to be born mute, nor do they want to make others uncomfortable.

And Luna is no different.

Isn’t everything that happened to Luna regardless of her will?

Then why should that be a reason for her to be hurt?

If there’s someone who says being born itself is a sin, I’ll personally tear his mouth apart and kill him.

Luna answered my previous question by nodding her head.

She held the gifted pen tightly with both hands as if it were precious.

“I don’t know how the princess sees herself. But to me, she just feels remarkable. If I were in the same situation as the princess, I would surely have been discouraged and unable to get up.”

Yes, I am weak.

I couldn’t resist the temptations of the pleasure district and indulged in pleasure and self-satisfaction.

But you didn’t.

Despite being so hurt, you’ve held up so well until now.

And you’ll continue to hold up well. Even if you fall, you’ll stand up bravely.

I’ve always been proud of the fact that you’re my wife.

So please.

“The princess deserves respect. So please, have confidence in yourself.”

If you have a hard time, you can always come to me.

Even if the whole world is against you, I’ll remain on your side.

I thought so, but unfortunately, I couldn’t say it out loud.

It was too embarrassing.

If I said more here, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

Nod-.

Luna’s head moved slowly up and down.

She still seemed not to understand, but it didn’t matter.

I didn’t think that just a few words could open her heart.

But someday, as time passes and if I try harder, I believe without a doubt that I can melt your frozen heart.

Even if you bloom at night after receiving sunlight, that’s enough for me.

“It’s awkward.”

The air around was heavy, as if burdened by what had happened earlier.

There was an uncomfortable feeling in the awkward atmosphere.

And it seemed Luna felt the same way.

Her expression remained unchanged, but her gaze was directed downward as if she had committed a sin.

Looking at her, I felt a sense of guilt.

I didn’t say anything wrong, but her getting hurt is a separate issue.

Moreover, did I not act against courtesy earlier?

Taking her hand as I pleased and speaking before she could respond.

I expressed my hope that this atmosphere would loosen even just a little.

“I apologize for my rudeness.”

Luna’s gaze, which had been directed downward, turned towards me.

Luna shook her head from side to side.

For a moment, our gazes crossed.

She moved the pen belatedly.

Blue letters were embroidered in the air.

“I’m more sorry. You probably didn’t come to hear such a story, but I’ve committed a breach of etiquette and ended up speaking.”

“No. Your Highness, you must have shown great courage, and I am more sorry for ignoring that.”

“No. I’m more sorry….”

“I’m more….”

We competed over who was more at fault.

Suddenly, finding the situation too absurd, I burst into laughter.

The awkward atmosphere had long since disappeared.

“At this rate, the conversation won’t end. Let’s consider that neither of us has done anything wrong.”

“But….”

Has she not given up yet?

Her insistence felt so fresh because it was the first time she had been so stubborn.

However, regardless of that, if she continued the fight, I had no intention of giving up.

It was a fleeting, ironic thought about what kind of offense she would bring up next time.

After coloring over the words she had written before, she wrote new words beside them.

“[■■■ Like it.]”

At her actions, I couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

It wasn’t so much amusing as it was incredibly cute.

Perhaps she didn’t like my reaction, as the atmosphere I felt from Luna suddenly turned chilly.

Her dry expression made that sensation even stronger.

“I didn’t mean to ridicule.”

“Yes, I know.”

“It’s really not.”

“I didn’t say I knew.”

When I meet you, I feel truly childish.

But how enjoyable it is, incomparable to going to an entertainment district.

However, they always say that enjoyable times feel short.

We were supposed to meet early in the morning, but when I came to my senses, the sun was already high in the sky.

It was time for us to part.

Before getting on the carriage, I faced Luna for the last time.

As always, she looked at me with a dry expression.

I nervously reached out, clenching and unclenching my fist.

It was at a very slow pace.

If someone saw this, they would probably find it frustrating and pound their chest.

But to me, it felt too fast, and my heart pounded.

My hand kept reaching out and then stopping.

The destination of my hesitation was your hand.

I just carefully held onto your fingers, like any other lovers, I wanted to hold hands or interlock our fingers, but I couldn’t muster the courage.

So, I just held onto your fingertips cautiously.

Yet, I felt so tense that my mouth felt parched.

Saliva seemed to swallow itself, and my lost eyes wandered.

However, holding hands was good enough to forget all of that.

The warmth transmitted through our hands felt good, and my heart fluttered at the illusion of becoming something special with you.

With those feelings in mind, I said, “Lady Luna, I look forward to our next meeting.”

“Yes, I also look forward to our next meeting.”

Luna moved her pen and wrote something.

Our hands were still clasped together.

After boarding the carriage and departing for Duke David’s residence, I realized belatedly.

“We didn’t go to the garden.”

The garden is Luna’s favorite place.

I felt regret that I hadn’t led her there first.

But why didn’t you suggest going to the garden?

Perhaps our time together was that comfortable.

Thinking so, the corners of my mouth involuntarily lifted.

* * * * *

And at that moment,

Luna, too, was smiling.

‘A smiling face.’

Her mouth curved upwards, and her eyes formed crescents.

I practiced in front of the mirror, but the forced smile I made was still the worst. There were teeth that someone might suspect as devilish reflected in the mirror. “As expected, it’s meaningless if it doesn’t come from the heart.” I wanted to smile once like he did. But it still seemed impossible.