episode_0023

It was less than half a year after we moved in that we heard the news of the death of the couple next door.

The sign was a demonic attack. It was an unavoidable accident that even the guild could not do anything about, something close to a natural disaster.

So we were left alone to face the rest of the day.

A mouth that is always tightly shut. Long flowing hair that cuts off the day from the world. When the sun rises, she comes out with bleary eyes and heads to school, and when she returns home, she doesn’t come out until the next morning.

For Haru, that house was the last link to his parents. He couldn’t just barge in or take it away from him.

One day, it was like a sand castle in front of the waves. A sand castle that would collapse if you touched it with even the wrong fingertips.

We approached Haru with the utmost caution, like taming a wary stray cat. The method we chose was a note.

One day, he suggested that we eat together.

One day, he called me and said he had received some candy as a gift.

One day, I even tried to honestly tell her that I wanted to help.

But one day he never came to our house.

Don’t give up. There’s no need to rush.

I consoled myself in the midst of the indifference that came back every day. I wanted to become an upright adult, if only for the sake of my soon-to-be-born child.

“Good morning, Haru?”

“… … .”

“Then, have a good day at school!”

I deliberately went out during the school commute to say hello and greet her on a regular basis, and somehow squeezed out a few words of advice and wrote them down on a post-it note. Even though I didn’t get even the slightest response, I never gave up hope.

Because I believed that you would answer someday.

Even if it’s annoying, wouldn’t you raise your voice at least once? When the pain becomes unbearable, wouldn’t you remember that we’re here by your side?

We decided that that day would surely come, and that when that day came, we would welcome it with a smile, no matter what happened.

And soon after, Seo-hu was born. The joy didn’t stop there.

“Are you there? Excuse me!”

For a moment, I couldn’t quite remember whose voice it was. I’d hardly ever heard it before, except when I first moved here.

The voice of Haru, which I heard after a long time, was so pure that I wondered if it was really a child’s.

“What’s wrong?! Are you hurt? Are you hungry? Are you scared and can’t sleep?”

I should have greeted her comfortably with a smile, but my emotions were so overwhelming that the words came pouring out like a waterfall.

But don’t cry. Don’t show your sadness in front of Haru. If you are the one who is flustered, the child won’t be able to rely on you.

I faced Haru, trying to calm my tearful eyes.

“Oh, no! Baby, I mean… Baby food… .”

However much I prepared, my reunion with Haru was quite a shock.

* * *

“Ugh… Mom, Mom!”

Seeing Mirae crying in front of the door brought back old memories. Of course, that day was incredibly calm, but it was much easier to understand Mirae when it came to judging the severity of the situation.

“Mom, hooray, Mom fell down!”

A face soaked with tears and snot. Small hands clutching at sleeves.

“Haruya!”

As I followed the future, I saw Haru lying in the living room. His face was noticeably red. His entire body was hot like a fireball.

“Yes, yes. Ah… I understand. Good luck.”

Following that, Seo-hu’s father followed him in, calling the emergency room, but his expression was not very good.

“There’s no room in the emergency room. They said I have to wait until tomorrow morning… . I’ll go check to see if there’s a hospital that’s still open.”

“Please… .”

Most hospitals would have already closed. Judging from the symptoms, it seemed like a combination of a cold and fatigue, but I couldn’t relax because of the high fever.

“Mom, I’m sorry, I made the future difficult for you…!”

A part of my heart ached at the sad cries of the future.

“Mirae-ya, stop crying, Mom, it’ll be okay. Mirae is a good person, right?”

I carried Haru in my arms and headed to bed. Haru had already become a high school student, but he was so light that it was worrisome, perhaps because of his small stature.

“The future, the future is noisy, it makes it hard for mom to study… .”

My heart felt heavy because I couldn’t easily deny it.

It is true that Haru asked for a lot of help when he was young. But recently, he seems to feel a sense of responsibility and tries to take on many things on his own.

Even when I offered to help with housework while he was at school, he just smiled and declined as if it was difficult, and when I told him that he didn’t have to stop by the daycare because it would be a hassle, he shook his head.

So it’s natural to feel tired. Doing other work and raising children at the same time is never easy.

Moreover, Haru is still a high school student. No matter how mature and capable he is, his body holding up is a completely different matter.

“Future… .”

Even though he collapsed from not being able to bear it, and was out of breath without even opening his eyes, one day he licked his lips and looked for his daughter.

“Mom, don’t be sick, Mom… Mirae will do well. Mirae won’t talk anymore… .”

I don’t know the details of how this mother and daughter met, but I could vaguely understand their affection.

Because love is an emotion that cannot be explained by a reason. Especially when it comes to family love. Even though they were not related by blood, they were clearly a family that was closer than anyone else’s because they were connected by heart.

“Mirae-ya, it’s definitely not because of Mom’s future that you’re sick. Mom will definitely say the same thing when she wakes up, right?”

“Still, still, because I made it hard for Mom, because I made it hard for her!”

I gently embraced the future that I couldn’t let go of from Haru.

“No, you don’t have to worry about the future.”

The child is innocent.

Because she is innocent, she gets hurt easily, and because she is innocent, she keeps anything for a long time.

“Will you meet me with a crying face when I wake up? Wouldn’t Mom like it better if Mirae greets me with a smile?”

That’s why parents are needed.

You have to retrace your steps, block wrong directions in advance, and guide yourself to the right path.

Of course, anyone can make mistakes. The path of life is not necessarily a two-way street, and you may forget the path you took a long time ago.

Then, you can go back a little. If you still can’t find your way, you can join forces and make your way through.

This time, I just encountered an unfamiliar road.

If it’s Haru and Mirae, I can get through it quickly.

“Auntie will be watching Mom, so when Mom wakes up tomorrow, let’s meet with a smile and give her the thing she likes the most. Okay?”

So, the role of neighbors ends here.

If we can just bring down the fever, we’ll get over this. In the meantime, let’s boil some porridge and put the pudding that Haru hid in an easy-to-find location. Then we can sneak out and make some time for just the mother and daughter.

* * *

“Ugh… .”

I opened my eyes to the sunlight pressing down on my eyelids. It wasn’t just the sunlight that was pressing down on me. Mirae was fast asleep, hugging my arm. Her legs were up on my stomach, probably because she was sleeping.

“The future… .”

I feel like all the tension that had filled me up until yesterday has disappeared. Something that had been aching inside me has disappeared, and instead, a pleasant languor has filled my whole body.

I turned my body slightly and embraced the future.

Small. Much smaller than me, who is of a smaller than average build. Does that mean that I poured out all the emotions that had been building up in this small body?

“Mom… ?”

A voice that still has the hangover. I look down and see my half-open eyes blinking once.

“Did you sleep well?”

I should have started by apologizing. But strangely enough, I ended up saying the same greeting I always do. For a moment, my mind felt blank.

I want to pretend it never happened. I don’t know what to say to Mirae about apologizing, and I don’t know if an apology alone can solve this.

Above all, I couldn’t forgive myself. That’s why it was even more difficult to bring up the subject.

“Mom… Are you okay?”

“Yeah, thanks to Mirae, I’m okay! Sorry for worrying you.”

The apology came out well in the side story. This is not something I should be apologizing for first.

“Thank goodness… .”

Mirae buried her face in my chest and held me for a while, then she suddenly got up and headed to the kitchen.

“Mom, wait a minute! Cheer up, Mom, because Mirae has prepared something special!”

There was a hint of tears in her voice. But seeing her trying so hard to speak brightly, I felt sorry for her because it seemed like she was trying not to worry me.

“Yeah, I’ll be waiting.”

He removed the lukewarm towel placed on his forehead, smiled bitterly, and raised his upper body.

When the future comes again, let’s start by apologizing. Let’s not run away anymore, but apologize for what happened yesterday.

As I was waiting with that determination, bang, clank, clank. A rather loud noise was heard from the kitchen.

“Mom, this!”

Then Mirae ran over holding a plate. A yellow pudding danced on a pure white plate. I had clearly hidden it so Mirae wouldn’t eat it secretly…

It seems like the lady has come and gone. I could tell by the post-it note stuck on the desk next to the bed.

─I made some porridge in a pot, so heat it up and eat it when you wake up. Don’t worry, I’ll tell the school and daycare!

“Future, come slowly! It’s dangerous… … .”

I turned my gaze from the post-it note to the future. At the same time, something happened.

“Ah… !”

Mirae, who was running in a hurry, slipped forward. The plate slipped out of her tiny hands with an almost foolish ease. Mirae also hit her chin on the floor.

My heart sank. I wondered if I had bitten my tongue. I wondered if there was something wrong with my bones. I got out of bed and ran to Mirae.

“Uuuuu… .”

“Mirae-ya, are you okay? Ah, ah, try it.”

Mirae opens her mouth slightly at my words. She squints her eyes as if in pain, and the tears that had been pooling under her eyes roll down.

Fortunately, there was nothing unusual on the outside. There was no bleeding and all of his teeth were intact.

“Does anything hurt? Should I go to the hospital?”

Mirae bit her lip and shook her head back and forth. She really looked like she was in pain… Could it be that her jaw joint was out of order and she couldn’t speak? Looking at the tears welling up in her eyes, she couldn’t help but feel worried.

“Puding… .”

But it seemed that the reason Mirae was crying wasn’t because of the pain. I followed her gaze over my shoulder and saw the pudding lying on the floor.

“Mom, I was going to give it to you… I wanted to… apologize to you… so I was going to give it to you… .”

Mirae, who can’t speak properly because she’s sobbing. Her thin shoulders shake loudly several times, expressing her sadness.

“Now… Ugh, there’s no pudding… … .”

The tears that eventually burst out would not stop no matter how much Mirae tried to wipe them away with the back of her hand. And when she came to her senses, she too was crying silently.

What can I do if my daughter apologizes first? She must have thought that the future was all her fault, that I was in pain because of her.

I felt sorry for myself, sorry for Mirae, and thankful at the same time. I forgot that I was in front of my daughter and cried and hugged Mirae.

“Mirae-ya, I’m sorry, Mom. I’m not mad because of Mirae. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

He repeated his apology over and over again as he ran his hand through Future’s hair.

“It’s not the future that hurts Mom. Mom gets strength just by looking at the future.”

It’s all true. It’s never the future’s fault that I’m sick. Rather, it’s because of the future that I’ve been able to endure this far. No matter how hard a day I’ve had, when I come home, I can be strong because of the future.

“So don’t cry. Don’t cry… Future, future… .”

We hugged each other and cried until our throats were hoarse.

“Future, blow your nose… .”

“Kuhhh… . Ugh… .”

“Future, your eyes are red. Should I wash my face and come back?”

“Hehehe, Mommy is red too. I’ll just stay like this… .”

And when all the resentment that we had been hiding, knowingly or unknowingly, came pouring out, we faced each other with smiles as if nothing had happened.

This is possible because we are family. We didn’t have to apologize politely or go into detail about what we did wrong, but our body temperature naturally melted away the bad feelings.

Now I feel like I finally understand what a family is.

“Puding… Mom, is it okay if I don’t eat the pudding?”

“You’re not saying that because you want to eat the future?”

“Oh, no… .”

Mirae looked at me with a pouty look, holding my shirt tightly. When I met her eyes and smiled faintly, Mirae pouts and eventually bursts out laughing.

“Then shall we go buy some pudding for Mom?”

“Mom, is it okay if I move?”

“Yeah, Mom, I’m all better. Mirae took care of me.”

I made a fist as if nothing happened. Of course, it didn’t come out like I made it. My thin arms just bulged a little.

But it seemed to be enough to put Mirae at ease. Mirae stared blankly at my arm, then moved her gaze to my face and pursed her lips.

“Then…! First, a kiss of reconciliation… .”

“Do you kiss when you make up?”

“Yeah, from now on, I’ll do whatever I want in the future.”

Mirae spoke in a coquettish voice and pushed her face in.

“Yeah, Mom, if the future is good, everything is good.”

The kiss after crying was a little salty, maybe because of the snot on it.