episode_0023
by adminFrom that day on, when I was assigned to guard him for a few days without any special events, after training, I went straight to Baek Yihan’s room instead of being with other people.
Although it was called an escort, it felt almost like a knight-errantry.
Although I couldn’t listen to him teach, sometimes an old man called Seon-dae would ask me to spar with him.
Of course, it was now common to reject it as a deviation.
“Are you planning to refuse the duel today?”
“Yes.”
“Are you too stiff? Or are you not confident in your skills?”
Don’t fall for the usual cheap provocations, just answer calmly.
“It’s not my duty, so I can’t help it. If you tell me to, I’ll do it.”
“… .”
The old man looked a little shit-bitten at my words. He seemed a little frustrated because things weren’t going the way he wanted.
Why? There wasn’t really anything to be upset about. Since I was designated as this person’s escort, it also meant that my skills were guaranteed.
Besides, I was a vassal after all.
From the moment I took up my post here as this man’s vassal, I had to follow his orders. Besides, it was his sparring time right now.
‘I am here to respond to any assassination attempts that may occur… .’
Unless his orders came in, there was no reason for me to move.
Of course, I always try to convey that thought to the old man, but it can’t be helped that he looks fat.
“Hana, your article – you don’t like it?”
Even though he already knows who I am, he asks me like that. I guess he’s putting pressure on me because I don’t want to spar with him.
“Well, not yet.”
Since we didn’t interfere with each other much, I didn’t have any complaints with him. Conversely, he didn’t show any complaints with me either.
“Tsk, tsk. There’s no one who will listen to this old man! I was just going to give him a light lesson.”
“I already have a master. Learning from someone else is-”
“Okay, okay, you punk!”
The old man became angry and grabbed his sword.
“Okay, Hana. Let’s finish it.”
He blankly watches the two exchange blows, and doesn’t let his guard down about his surroundings.
First of all, how many people would come in here without being caught?
-Knock, knock.
From what I’ve observed and felt, the master is weak. If not weak, he’s soft.
It seemed to me, to my eyes, that they were fighting with the mindset of protecting each other.
‘hmm….’
As I watched quietly, one question arose.
Will that young master be able to fully endure and overcome the weight of taking life?
No, in my view, he was an impossible person. He was absolutely incapable of doing that. If he was that kind of person, it was better to stay behind.
and.
‘It’s a bit strange that someone who can’t even do hand-painting properly is my direct descendant.’
There were more than one or two parts that I couldn’t figure out why, but I decided to just ignore them for now.
It’s not my concern.
I’ve been looking at it like that for a while.
The young master’s spirit gradually declines, and the old man’s spirit rises.
He must have been tired. Well, he had been doing it for a long time. He had been doing it for over thirty minutes without stopping. It was a long time for such a young master with such a delicate body to be swinging a spear and sparring.
‘It’ll be over soon.’
The moment that thought occurred to me-
-Tap. Knock. Chin.
There were several exchanges of attacks. The one who advanced was mainly the old man. Naturally, the one who was pushed back was the young master.
“Ugh… !”
“Slow! The other person won’t look at you because you’re tired!”
-Kkukguk
-Ssss.
It seemed like the power was leaking out in response to the emotions. However, I dare say that it was not a good choice.
The ability of the young master that I had observed several times was so weak that it would be an understatement to say it was imperfect.
It’s to the point where I think it would have been better if it didn’t exist at all. If you use such a weak ability, it will actually make things more difficult.
“Ugh?!”
-Turrung.
Slowing down, with weakened power. Naturally, the spear would slam down. It was a natural course of events.
At that, the old man stopped swinging the sword.
“Let’s stop here.”
The master’s face was filled with resentment. He seemed to be glaring at me for a moment, but I spoke without avoiding his eyes.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
“… . Yeah.”
He accepted the towel I handed him and wiped away his sweat for a moment.
He took a deep breath, looked at me, and spoke calmly.
It was a completely different emotional line from the face and emotions that had been glaring at me just a moment ago and expressing hostility toward me.
“Tomorrow is the day I go to the palace, just like my father said. He said he would give me the clothes of a nobleman, not a servant’s uniform, so wear those. Okay?”
“Yes.”
I already knew it, but I remembered it again from what he had told me. If he had told me, it must have been important.
It meant that it was something that should not be forgotten.
“Let’s go back. It’s history class now.”
“Yes.”
Leaving the training grounds, which were still under reconstruction, behind me, I began to walk behind him.
The old man just watched them leave.
“… … . I really don’t feel well.”
It was clearly something he had ordered together. Baek Seo-han had always been proud of himself for never regretting the things he had done. However, seeing that child always walking around with such an emotionless look made him feel uncomfortable, both as the godfather who had named the child together with him and as the child’s grandfather.
“… … . Was it a hasty decision?”
It might have been better to tell him the truth from the beginning. Baek Seo-han’s head was still spinning when he thought about the fight he had with his wife because of that.
“She’s a woman too… … Even though she knows I didn’t do it for no reason.”
But seeing that he was scolded for being like that, it was clear that he was in a hurry.
However, even though it was urgent, it was a possible choice and decision because it was urgent. There was no way I could make any other judgment on that matter.
If I could go back then, I would definitely make the same choice. At least, I would have tried to let the child know how to deal with emotions. I would have made it natural for him to be born and raised like that, that child… .
Because it’s standing up so well. If you ask me whether it’s standing up well, it doesn’t seem to be.
‘It feels like there’s something deep inside, something liquid… … The problem is that it’s strong.’
That meant that the child was so damaged, so dirty, so broken. He was just about to turn ten.
Is it possible that a child who is like the purest ray of sunlight would be dyed in darkness that envies light?
‘That could also mean that our educational methods are flawed…’
-Keep going.
There weren’t many other choices that I could make. The law I knew was like that, and I simply acted according to that law.
I know there’s no one around here who would take that into account.
Now, even I don’t know if that law is right.
What family would think it was right to see their child fall apart like that?
At least, I was the one who thought that if we crossed swords, we could figure out why he was so empty and what he was thinking about.
I am….
-Keep going.
What really happens now?
Can I go back to that sky?
I hear that sometimes.
“Now that you’re old, have you really become a beast?-”
Whenever I hear those words, my heart sinks.
There are times when I really feel like I’m becoming a beast that has lost its sense of humor.
At times like that, I was so scared because I felt like the sensations of the things I had killed were coming back to me one by one.
There are times when I am terrified to see the liquids I have torn and destroyed appear before my eyes.
Of course, I got really angry because I knew it wasn’t true. But there was nothing scarier to me than that.
“Ha- Today, the night seems a little more scary.”
If we continue like this, won’t we grow old and sick, lose our divinity, and just scatter and disappear?
I think so. Of course, it is true that all humans are like that.
Because of that, I feel like I made the wrong choice.
It’s so big and scary that such an illusion is creeping up on me.
“Seojin… … .”
The woman who was always by my side doesn’t even know me after what happened with Yeon-i.
It felt even more painful, like my bones were freezing cold.
0 Comments