episode_0022

“…Go.”

“Hmm….”

“Quickly!”

“Uh-huh, got it.”

What a fool.

You enjoyed it too much.

Though happy… how will you navigate what comes next?

“Fool. Foolfoolfoolfool.”

“Uhh……!!!”

Even if you swing your fist in the air, what will change?

Even if you roll around in bed, nothing will change.

“Hah.”

I changed my mind.

Let’s make it more complicated.

That’s what lovers do, right?

This is just lovers’ skinship, right?

It might still be burdensome… but for now… yes.

Let’s just keep it in mind.

“Hah.”

After tidying up her voice and gently touching her hair, she cautiously checked if her makeup was ruined with the hand mirror her sister gave her while doing her makeup.

“Okay….”

Her slightly blushing cheeks are a bit concerning, but they’re rather cute.

Anyone would like a girl in love.

She quietly opened the door.

Her brother was just coming out of the bathroom.

“Kkum… I’m sorry. I was distracted.”

“Oh… yeah. It’s okay.”

Why is her brother’s face so red too?

Is her brother… excited because of me?

…Exciting.

No, he must be nervous. What am I thinking?

“Oh… would you like to go to the mart by any chance?”

“The mart?”

“For tonkatsu, which part would you like to eat… and…”

It’s the weekend. Walking alone is a bit… and actually, I want to go on a date.

“Got it. Let’s go.”

“Oh… kkum. I understand.”

“You can wash up and just put on some clothes and we can go. Can you wait a bit?”

Her brother grabbed a towel and went back into the bathroom.

“Hah…”

It feels forced, but… it won’t fall apart.

“…Ah.”

I should wear something warmer.

If I go out with these bare legs, they’ll freeze like ice.

“Hmm… should I wear stockings?”

Stockings.

I can’t wear pants under a skirt just because I don’t want to experience that creepy feeling again, right?

But wearing pants doesn’t seem pretty either.

This is obvious.

And I have to get used to this slightly uncomfortable feeling.

“Huff…”

Hmm. I’m still not sure. It’s pretty, though.

“Ji… Hye, can I change my clothes?”

“Oh. Yes, go ahead.”

“……”

“…?”

Oh.

“Should I go out…?”

“Maybe…?”

Darn it.

It was a perfect opportunity to admire his muscles with my own eyes.

It’s annoying from past memories.

“Kkum… when you’re ready, let’s go out.”

“Uh-huh.”

While sitting on the sofa in the living room, I played with his thigh.

I feel strange, but I want to keep touching it.

“Shall we go? Are we taking the car?”

“Yes, yes. I plan to buy a lot.”

I step outside again.

This time with my brother. To the mart… is this a date?

My brother, who lacks awareness of women, probably doesn’t even think of this as a date.

*

After a long time, I rode in the car next to my brother.

My brother driving is very handsome.

He washed his face once and changed his clothes once, but isn’t becoming more handsome a scam?

…Am I being scammed too?

“Would this mart be good?”

“Yes, here is fine.”

I linked arms with my brother as we got out of the car.

“Eh!?”

“Well… people keep coming over….”

It’s not a complete lie.

I feel like people occasionally look at me.

Well, they disappear quickly when I glance around.

I just stuck close to my brother for no reason.

If I give an excuse-like thing, my brother will nod understandingly in no time.

“Hmm… I often feel that way too, so I understand.”

This time, it seems like we’ve formed a bond of empathy as he even nods his head.

Due to my older brother’s inability to refuse, I thought it was understandable.

Thinking he had agreed, I linked arms with him.

Although my brother’s body trembled in surprise, I wondered if I would be okay trembling too.

“Today, how about tonkatsu?”

“Yeah! Cheese tonkatsu, right?”

“Hehe, that’s right.”

We entered the mart.

The place was so full of items that it was harder to find what wasn’t there than what was there with automatic doors open.

It looked pretty and delicious for no reason, tempting you to pick this and that, only to regret later.

After experiencing it a couple of times, I learned that thinking ahead was the wisest judgment.

“Oh! Hello~”

“Yes. What can I get for you?”

The employee glanced at my brother and then at me.

“Um…Brother, how much tonkatsu do you want to eat?”

“Um…I think it’s fine to eat it every day of the week?”

“You won’t get tired of it?”

“Yeah. It tastes good even if I eat it all year round.”

Even if tonkatsu is delicious, one should also eat other foods for health.

Despite thinking that a year might be too much, I couldn’t find words to refute his confident face.

“Um um. Then…we’ll really only eat tonkatsu for a week. I’ll make everything that can be made into tonkatsu by studying.”

“Oh…thank you. Really, thank you.”

Feeling good.

Of course…it’s my brother’s money, but I’m confident in making delicious tonkatsu.

“For a week’s worth. Can you pack two servings separately in bags?”

“Yes. Understood.”

While preparing the meat, once I buy the ingredients, it’s almost over…

Is it over? Shouldn’t I play a little more?

Regretting, I move to the vegetable section.

“?”

It felt like a sigh.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.”

I choose a pretty, white, medium-sized cabbage.

I examine apples here and there and pick one.

“Um…one more…?”

If we’re going to eat it for a week, wouldn’t it be right to buy one more?

“Um…”

“Jihye, just buying one bag would be…”

“Oh. We won’t finish it all, and we’ll end up throwing it away later, right?”

“Oh…I see.”

In the end, I added one more apple.

“No, I shouldn’t. I should remove it.”

Excited for the date with my brother, I mistakenly forgot how many apples go into a salad.

I put the apple back.

“Um um. Okay.”

Since there are onions, I move on.

My brother looks incredibly amazed, but this is about being thrifty.

“Cheese…Oh. Brother, when the sirloin tonkatsu comes out, instead of lettuce salad, would you like a different salad with cheese in it?”

“Um…Jihye? I think you can handle it yourself…”

“…I understand.”

Doing this for my brother.

He doesn’t seem to mind, just watching what I’m doing.

It feels like talking to a pet without knowing why.

“Oh.”

Just out of spite, I squeezed his arm tighter.

I really did the rest by myself.

Glancing at my brother, he seemed to cautiously adjust the strength of his arm while not letting go, as if helping with a slight adjustment of force.

Why is he so careful with me when he doesn’t care about his own food?

“Oh…boyfriend?”

“It’s a secret.”

I quietly replied with a smile.

He’s not my boyfriend, but…holding arms is okay, right?

“There’s no such thing as a perfect man or woman.”

I tried to maintain my expression, but my mouth kept smiling uncontrollably.

“When you get married, make sure to send an invitation!”

“Oh. No way!”

A shallow denial, but maybe I can erase my intentions from my brother’s mind.

We escaped the mart like fleeing and got into the car.

“Jihye…shall we go to a cafe for a bit?”

“Sure.”

We decided to have a quick coffee at a nearby cafe.

“But… I don’t really know about this coffee.”

I really don’t understand why I would drink such expensive water starting at 4,500 won.

Is there really much difference between instant coffee and regular coffee?

Is there really a reason to drink several expensive coffees while studying…?

Due to various reasons combined, I have almost no experience with cafes.

Except for cases where someone else is treating me.

Since it’s something my brother wants to do, of course, I’ll go.

“So… do you like sweet things?”

“I like them.”

I like my brother.

“Then let’s go for a caramel macchiato. It’s very sweet, but is that okay?”

“Well… then I’ll have the same as my brother.”

After a moment of contemplation, my brother went to the counter.

“…Please give me a warm cafe latte in regular size.”

As we paid and received our order number, we sat by the window where no one was visible outside.

“But why did you suddenly come to the cafe…?”

I accepted because I wanted to spend more time together, but aside from that, I’m curious about the reason.

“I have something to say.”

My brother straightened his clothes and ran his hand through his hair.

“I want to see the true form of wisdom.”

“What do you mean…?”

“There are many reasons why I may not have been able to date, but now I think I’ve realized many things. It might not be true… haha.”

Somehow, the atmosphere became serious.

My brother sat upright and looked at me politely.

“I know Wisdom’s heart well. Even if I’m clueless, I know it well enough. I was grateful before… but now it’s hard to repay.”

“You don’t need to repay.”

I just…

“I know. You like me.”

“…”

“Not true?”

“I… I like you.”

I just like my brother.

“I like it. I think it’s a happy thing when a pretty and cute girl who excels in everything in lyrics likes me.”

“Yes…”

Received high praise. Being told that I’m liked.

“But…”

My brother took a deep breath for a moment.

“But is Wisdom giving up on Jiwu?”

“Are you throwing away Jiwu and creating the appearance of Wisdom?”

“That’s why I said earlier. I want to see the true form.”

Did I act?

At least I don’t think so.

All my actions were because I liked my brother, and I changed into a form that my brother would like.

It’s not acting.

It changed because I wanted it to.

Filled with sincerity.

Filled with love in sincerity.

To convey my true feelings, I also became serious.

“My true self… that’s right. Brother. No, when I called you Hyung, I liked you as Jiwu. At that time, I just liked the kind brother…”

I already had a favorable impression of my brother.

Isn’t that natural? Of course, it’s not like I’m a homosexual.

I just really liked him as a brother.

“Now, beyond liking, I genuinely like my brother.”

But now I’m a woman.

I doubted whether my liking had turned into love after becoming a woman, but I decided to discard such doubts.

Let’s just think simply.

I like my brother.

And I hope that feeling of liking continues.

Both Jiwu and Jihye are me. I haven’t discarded anything.

Memories still remain, and most of those memories belong to Jiwu.

It was just confusing to attach meaning to names.

In the end, they’re both me.

“So I’ll say it now.”

Even if I remove the name, I won’t change.

It’s just a different title when someone calls me.

And who would find it strange for a woman to like a man?

Who would think of me as a man?

“Please date me.”

I love my brother.

I have no intention of retreating with some kind of excuse now that you’ve seen me as I am.

This is the sincerity welling up from my heart.