episode_0021

by admin

After a small typhoon passed by, I heard Jinah enter my room.

“The king came and went.”

“Ah. You.”

“What’s going on?”

Her usual way of speaking made me feel a little less awkward and uncomfortable whenever I saw her.

“No big deal. As always, I’m just talking about calling Yeon or Han to that damn palace.”

“Those kids? I don’t get a very good feeling from them. When did that guy ever do anything nice for you?”

“Of course not. So I’m a little worried that it might happen to the kids too.”

-Click.

He puts down the bear trap he was holding and just looks at her.

“… It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other like this.”

“Well, it’s because of that kid. Because you won’t bend.”

Jinah looked at me and spoke rudely for no reason.

“So? What are you going to do?”

“Anyway, isn’t it time for the kids to learn their abilities? … Sending Yeon-i there as an escort seems like the best option. What about you?”

“It’s already been proven that Yeon-i is very capable… . For now, I’ll go with you.”

“You? … In that case, wouldn’t it be better if we all went together? It’s the children’s first time going to the palace, and since the children were born, you and I have never been to the palace together.”

Jinah stroked her chin for a moment as if thinking about something.

It had been a long time since the two of them had been out and about together. It had been over ten years since they had been out and about, so it was only natural that there would be gossip about them in the social world.

Rather than sending the kids away, it might be better to show that we are always on good terms.

My wife couldn’t go out while I was teaching the kids.

“That’s definitely necessary. It’ll cheer Han up a bit.”

… Now, it seemed like she didn’t really care how Yeon-ra was treated.

Well, it was understandable. I watched myself almost die right before my eyes.

‘When I think about it again, that huge white tiger… … .’

It was a strong and terrifying being that could literally be called a monster.

An impenetrable skin, strong, powerful… a mighty aura and momentum that could crush me, and the overwhelming power to actually do it.

I told the child that ‘it takes skill’, but I witnessed the overwhelming power and force that could easily destroy such things.

Of course, there might be a child who can’t win with just that. It is an unchanging fact that it is a necessary teaching… .

‘I am also envious of that strong power and ability that fascinates even me, who mainly uses force.’

To the point where I could think like that. The child’s power was so enviable.

-Keep going.

I clench my fists. I am overcome with the feeling that I will one day ruin my child even more than I did now.

My intuition was never wrong, but I wanted to ignore this one.

“Okay. Let’s do that for now.”

Since it was something we both needed, we decided to go together first. More than that, things didn’t seem to be going well at the moment.

“Before that, I’d like to have some refreshments with you after a long time. Is the time okay?”

“Oh my? What’s going on? You must be tired. Why, seeing Yeon-i swing her sword right in front of me, it hurts my heart so much?”

-Shock.

Those words hit the nail on the head. The child’s powerlessness was something to be desired.

But I also promised myself not to change my mind about something that had already been decided, and there was no such thing as history.

As someone who has looked to the past, history, and customs to find ways to deal with myself, her words hurt me even more.

It felt like a bigger knife was flying into the same spot where the knife was stuck in my heart. It was like a huge hole was being drilled into my chest.

“… … … .”

As I quietly looked down at the documents, Jinah quietly approached me.

“What a clumsy person, really.”

Jinah smiled faintly and just quietly stroked my head.

“Actually, I know. The best choice you can make is to always look back and make decisions based on what you’ve experienced. Everyone does that, but you’re so clueless that you stick to them.”

Yes, that’s right. So when she first approached me, I didn’t know what to do, so I avoided her like a coward, and I couldn’t even have a normal conversation.

At that time, she said that I was cute. She realized that I liked her approaching me little by little, so she gradually started to close the distance between me and her.

First we had a meal together, then we had a snack, then… we went out and played together.

She was an attractive person to me, having first met me in the war and risen from a commoner to the position of deputy commander.

“Whenever you talk about Yeon-i, I see a great deal of agitation in your eyes. That’s how much you’ve had a hard time. I know that I’ve been stubborn about things that can’t be helped.”

I knew that for her, this problem was a bigger problem.

“I already know that Baekho family has been teaching twins, who were considered illegitimate children, harshly from the beginning.”

“… . If you know that-”

“Still, I knew you would have such a hard time.”

Yes. That’s why I had so many worries while making this decision. But I had to keep telling myself that it was the right decision.

There were even times when I wished I was wrong, even if it meant regretting it.

She already knew, felt, and wanted to suggest a way for us all to be happy. The way she thought about it all and tried to help me… She was my lovely wife.

“… . I’m sorry… .”

All I could do was repeat it. I didn’t want to hurt her anymore.

“Well, what can I do? In the end, your worries were right, and mine were wrong.”

“… … .”

Those words struck me as a bigger dagger. I knew why she said those words, and just showing her how I almost died seemed like a huge mistake.

“Still, if it’s Yeon-i, it’ll be easy for the Royal Knights. If you and I go together, we won’t have to do something that serious. And, when the successor is decided and Han-i is safe, then… . Let’s all go on a trip together.”

I knew better than anyone that this was nonsense.

As I watched the child grow older, it seemed so obvious that he would leave the room when his duty was done.

I know that, but just once… I wanted to be stubborn.

I was seeing with my own eyes that my husband’s condition was noticeably unstable.

It was the first time since the war that his condition looked that unstable.

It wasn’t because of his immaturity. It wasn’t his fault, as the slightly stronger liquids and the soldiers who couldn’t keep up with them met their deaths.

So there was no need for him to feel guilty. There was no intention of defending him. It was just that he was that kind of person.

Even now, he would still be worrying about whether the choice he made back then was the right one.

At least he was right about the part he was afraid of. Didn’t he prove with his own body that he was right?

Besides, if he falls now, what will happen to the family?

No matter how much I was there, in the end, it was the family of the Grim Reaper. It was clear that the contents would be returned to the Grim Reaper, and then the burden would be passed on to young Han.

To prevent that, it was important for this person to be alive right now.

I had to hold on tight. And… .

‘It’s not the kind of look I like, lying around like this.’

The person I loved wasn’t the type of person to show this kind of listless appearance. That kind of appearance didn’t suit him.

So, as always, I have to take care of it.

Regardless of the things he did, that person was a family member I cared for and loved.

-Tsdam tsdam.

I just want to care for him and care for him as I always have, and hope that everyday life will return as usual.

Of course, I now know all too well that that is not the case.

It was a feeling like my bones were going to snap, break, and snap like never before.

With that sense of helplessness that I can’t do anything for Yeon-i, I watch Yeon-i from afar again today.

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