episode_0020

Watashima Chihana

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Yako Tomoe is a pervert. She’s crazy.

I lived a life of endlessly spewing such information on social media without a steady job. I’d do a casual part-time job, and when I was done, I’d go to an internet cafe and badmouth Tomoe. Surprisingly, many people agreed with me, so I formed a group where I complained daily.

My complaints weren’t limited to social media; they also led to offline meetings, or rather, actual meetings. I hit it off with someone I met there, and before I knew it… I had given myself to them.

In the end, I think anyone would have done.

We both hated Yako Tomoe. Just that connection was enough for me to give myself away, a despicable woman who sought reassurance in such a manner. I wanted my first time to be with Kyotarou-kun. So, I just kept imagining the person was Kyotarou-kun.

After that, I spent nights with several others, but no matter who it was, they were all a ‘virtual Kyotarou-kun.’ I needed someone to fill the void of loneliness. It could be anyone, and yet it couldn’t be anyone. Before I knew it, my body was so defiled I couldn’t tell anyone.

“Chihana, it’s information about Yako Tomoe’s fiancé.”

The news that she was marrying an ordinary person was buzzing on TV and online. But because the other party was a civilian, their personal information was kept private. As I listlessly puffed on a cigarette in a slightly soiled bed, I looked at the person’s name, and something inside me snapped.

“Is this information… true?”

“Yeah, no doubt about it. I heard it from a weekly magazine reporter I know. He hates Yako Tomoe just as much, and he’s always hounding her. He supposedly got a photo. They supposedly met at that man’s company?”

Met? You mean ‘reunited,’ right? While telling *me* to be proper, she’s trying to nonchalantly enjoy her happiness! I can’t possibly allow this. I absolutely can’t forgive her. I’ve sacrificed everything for you and lived a life like a cesspool, so why are you two laughing so happily?

You called *me* ordinary, didn’t you? You said *I* was the best match, didn’t you?

Don’t screw with me, damn it! In the end, I’m the only one who made the worst choices, aren’t I?

I’ll kill her, I’ll absolutely kill her. I can’t forgive her, I absolutely can’t.

“…Yes, I am one of the attendees. Congratulations on your special day.”

At the reception of a top-class hotel chapel, I completed my registration alone. I heard that overseas, widows are called ‘widows.’ I put on a black dress like the ones they wear and passed through the reception with a smile.

How foolish, letting someone dressed like this through. Perhaps they didn’t even set up metal detectors because it was a wedding? Everything worked out conveniently for me. Just as this dress suggests, I am about to lose my beloved, Hyoukyou Kyotarou, and become a widow.

At the wedding venue, a video depicting the couple’s first meeting played blandly.

They were childhood friends, so of course there’d be many such memories. While my memories with him only lasted half a year. As I approached step by step, I felt as if someone was pushing me forward. I was so happy, and thinking I could end it all this way made my heart pound.

You look beautiful, Tomoe-san. I want to see your face contorted in pain.

Kyotarou… It’s you, you’re the one to blame. Everything, absolutely everything.

When I was just a few steps away, Tomoe-san noticed me. The staff and other attendees also noticed my unusual presence. Then, I, with bated breath, took out the blade I had hidden in my bag and clutched it in my hand.

“I will never forgive you for abandoning me!”

Let’s die together, Kyotarou-kun. I’ll kill you, and then I’ll die too.

I can’t bear for you to be happy with Tomoe like this.

Holding the blade upward, I gripped it with both hands and rushed towards Kyotarou-kun, but…

My blade was blocked by someone who stepped in front of them.

“…Wh-why, why are *you* here…?”

The man in front of me was someone I knew well.

That man, Takeo-kun, was there, gripping my hand with the deeply embedded blade.

“…Wh-why are you here…? Weren’t *you* also cut off by the two of them? …Just as I thought, it’s only me, only me. I’m the only one being ostracized by everyone.”

“That’s not true, Chihana.”

With a pained expression, yet looking straight at me, he spoke.

“Kyotarou and Tomoe were both worried about you, Chihana. They said they wanted to talk. I was worried about you too… but you just disappeared, didn’t you…?”

His blood ran down the blade onto my hand. His breathing grew ragged, and his face turned pale, yet Takeo-kun’s grip didn’t loosen at all. I wanted to pull it out, but I couldn’t. My target wasn’t you.

“Chihana, you’re just like me.”

“Like you? What do you mean? That can’t be right! More importantly, let go, let go of me!”

“You’re a coward, just like me. You longed for those dazzling two and went crazy. That’s why, Chihana, I understand all your suffering. I understand why you want to do this, all your intense emotions, Chihana!”

With his bloodied right arm, Takeo-kun embraced me as if to envelop me.

His soothing words seemed to forgive me for everything, and they were so gentle.

“I don’t understand that. Weren’t *you* also in love with Tomoe-san? You never even glanced my way. Why are you being gentle now, after all this time? It’s all a lie anyway, isn’t it? I can’t believe anything anymore.”

“…When you contacted me that one time, I thought you were happy. Don’t block my calls; it makes me sad…”

“…………That’s… that’s not…”

The person I had stabbed was the one who understood me the most.

He put his body on the line to protect me, so I wouldn’t do anything foolish anymore.

But there was no turning back now.

Other attendees restrained my body, which had collapsed to the floor in tears. As I lay prostrate on the ground, pinned down, what I saw was…

Takeo-kun, as if sinking into a sea of blood, yet looking at me and closing his eyes with a smile.

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Next Chapter: “After the Storm, a Calm Sea.”

※On the 17th and 18th, two chapters will be posted each day, at 6 PM and 8 PM.