episode_0020

One day, the master ordered me to infiltrate the palace. He said he was a revolutionary or something.

Even though I knew it was a ridiculous lie, I went along with it. It was really sweet to talk to my master after such a long time. I was hungry for a conversation with my master. I was grateful that I could talk to my master like this.

I was abandoned in the zodiac as usual. It hurt me as if it were the first time. It was always a new pain, always a new hurt.

***

I went back to the palace and fought for power with my crippled brothers. I couldn’t believe that these guys were my biological brothers. Suddenly, I wondered what my father, the author who left me with these shitty things, looked like. Did he look like me? Did my impulsive personality also come from him? I felt dirty somehow.

Time passed. I couldn’t suppress my boiling feelings for my master, so I sent him a letter. That was how I wanted to communicate with him.

And here’s what I found out: I’ve never had a written conversation with my master before.

When I realized that fact, I felt somehow happy. It was because I felt like I was making new memories with my master. After returning, only terrible things continued, but it felt like I had made a step forward for the first time in a long while.

I wrote down my feelings for my master, hoping that even 1% of these feelings would be conveyed to my master.

But it seems that the master was not pleased with my letter. He replied with an extremely cold and businesslike reply. My heart ached, but even such a letter was so precious to me that I read it over and over again until the paper wore out.

Time passed.

During that time, I exchanged quite a few letters with my master. After ascending to the throne, I was able to put aside meaningless acting and send letters with more solid content. I poured my heart into them.

Whenever I read his letters, I can escape from the painful reality for a moment. A breath of fresh air is provided in the suffocating hell.

I thought that I could live like this my whole life without any problems. I thought that I could endure it as long as I had the letters he sent me.

however

As the frequency of replies from the master gradually decreased, his thoughts began to change.

The letters that used to be sent once a month were now sent once every two months. Even those letters contained only insincere content. And at the end of them, there was always a heartless message telling me to stop sending letters.

I became extremely anxious. Unable to contain the rising anxiety, I bit my fingernails and scratched my neck.

I began to think that if things continued like this, the letters from my master would stop coming. If even this disappeared, how would I live?

No… that’s it…

I’m out of breath. It’s hard to breathe.

I miss my master. I need to meet him to escape this terrible stuffiness.

Finally, I wrote a letter to the master, asking him to meet me just once.

But I was rejected outright. The master pushed the strange setting again and told me to wait for the right time.

It was nonsense. How could I wait when I was on the verge of going crazy? And what was even more hopeless was that no matter how long I waited, he would never meet me again.

There was no resistance in the first place. He was lying. The ‘that time’ the master spoke of never came.

I felt trapped in a tank full of water. I kept sending him distress signals. I was really going to die, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

But he ignored it again. And did that fucking setup thing again.

After struggling in agony for a while, I finally decided to destroy the settings that the master had created.

You have decided to destroy the empire. Once the empire is gone, you won’t be telling me to wait.

The master will like it too. Isn’t he the culprit who destroyed the master’s country?

So he destroyed the empire and went to find his master.

I proudly told my master about it.

But the master was not pleased. Instead, he despised and feared me.

When I saw the look in his eyes, I realized that this return was also a failure.

We moved on to the next regression.

And then the next round.

They say there is no paradise where you run away.

A hell more terrible than before awaited me.

The master began to treat me like a superior. He spoke to me politely and called me princess.

It’s as if he’s directly denying his relationship with me.

It was the worst punishment I could ever receive. My precious relationship with my master was destroyed. It was so horrible and painful. I wanted to scream at him to stop.

I tried to plead with him and change his mind, but all failed. We headed towards the zodiac.

And, of course, I was abandoned in the zodiac.

For a while, I struggled with the shocking sense of loss and thought to myself, This can’t go on. There’s not much time left until the return… If this continues, it’s really the end.

Four years later, I called my master and begged him.

But the master pretended not to hear and just told me to kill him with dead eyes.

No… I don’t have much time left. Suddenly, I thought, “Should I just be satisfied with this?” He seemed to dislike me a little, but his limbs were fine… and he was of sound mind, so I thought it wouldn’t be so bad.

Perhaps he noticed my behavior. The master made a frightened expression and started to make a fuss.

He spits out curse words. Words that hurt me…

Let’s go back···

***

It came back right after being picked up by its owner.

I trembled in fear, waiting for the Master’s disposition. I was afraid of everything because I had such a terrible experience during my last regression.

If the master treated me like that again, I thought I would just die. It would be better if the master strangled me and beat me to death. At least then I could die as the master’s slave. I didn’t want to experience being rejected by the master again. I thought there was a high chance that he would abandon me. Usually the master abandons me in the middle of the night…

But surprisingly, the master did not abandon me. He touched the burns on my face and healed them. His face showed fear and pity for me. Pity… Yes. He was pitying me.

Ahh··· Good person··· Still like this···

It was really thrilling, because it was proof that my master still loved me.

I feel saved.

I was overcome with a desire to see if my master would feel even more sorry for me if I got worse, but I barely held myself back.

I didn’t want to ruin the fun I had with my master in the future.

This is a re-creation of a cherished memory.

It must not contain any impurities.

***

The owner was kind.

Although there were some differences from before, the owner treated me without hesitation, at least on the outside.

You can act spoiled by your master and talk to him in everyday language.

It was the moment when my 500 years of research came to fruition.

I was very happy. The only hard thing was to hide my happiness from my master. If he noticed, he would think it was strange.

So I tried my best to suppress my excitement and pretend like nothing happened.

Perhaps the master thought I was mindless.

Actually, I liked it so much I was going crazy.

ha···

Time passed like a dream.

It was around that time that I started to feel something was strange.

I noticed that we were heading towards the zodiac.

It was strange. The master usually avoided large cities as much as possible. How much more so the imperial capital, the largest city in the empire? It was the number one target of avoidance.

But why go to the imperial capital? It’s not like you’re just going to a city you’ve already visited several times to tour it…

There was only one reason I could think of: to abandon me.

The blood in my whole body turned cold.

Why on earth···?

Aren’t you going to not throw it away this time?

The feeling of flying in the sky suddenly plummeted to the ground. Maybe it was because I was flying too high. The feeling of falling was so miserable.

I resisted as much as I could. I tried everything I could to hide my awakening from the master, but in the end, we ended up in the imperial palace. That cursed place where we would always be abandoned by him.

He explained the situation to me. He was going to abandon me here. He wanted me to live well.

I rebelled against my master. I tried to convince him logically as best I could. I asked him to let me stay by my side.

I’ve gotten pretty close to the master this time, so maybe I can communicate with him.

But the conversation didn’t make any progress. No matter what I said, the master tried to abandon me somehow.

I was in despair. How on earth could I avoid being abandoned by my master? If this well-run turn fails…

The master sighs and leaves the room, saying they will talk again tomorrow.

I felt it. He said we would talk again tomorrow, but the conversation we would have tomorrow was not a conversation, but a notice. The master was planning to abandon me no matter what happened.

A sticky feeling takes over my body. The string inside me snaps.

I moved like lightning and killed my master. I pulled my hand out of my master’s chest. My master’s body fell limply. The floor was soaked with blood.

“Haa···! Haa···!”

There was only one thing that filled my heart.

The determination to go back.

I will go back again. This is not right. I cannot be abandoned like this. How did I come this far. Let’s do it again… Let’s do it again…

What went wrong? Next time, let’s stop the burn treatment. Let’s burn my body with fire without telling the master. Then the good master won’t abandon me. The master is not cruel enough to throw away a child who hasn’t been treated yet. I think it’s okay to just lose one. Eyes. Yes. Wouldn’t the master feel even more sorry for me if I didn’t have eyes? The good master wouldn’t abandon the poor blind girl. As soon as I get back, I’ll take the opportunity to pluck out both my eyes. Although I won’t be able to see the master again, it doesn’t matter as long as I can be with him.

However, the next time, the master turned his back on me. As soon as he saw me in the slave market, he hurriedly turned his eyes away and ran away.

I was desperate.

The world is falling apart.

What did I expect?

What on earth did you expect when you came back?

This is normal. In fact, the owner of the previous episode was strange. He raised the evil spirit who killed him several times just because he felt sorry for her.

In contrast, the owner of this episode made a normal judgment.

haha···

I felt an indescribable sense of despair. I could no longer even be my master’s slave. For a long time, I sat there blankly mocking myself for my situation.

Then, in the end, I decided to accept my master’s will.

Yeah. Accept it. It’s my karma. It’s the perfect outcome for a greedy and ugly bitch like me.

Let’s let go of our master now. Let’s not trouble him any longer.

Still, it was nice to be able to feel the master’s warm heart in the previous episode. The master is so kind. The problem is me. If only I disappeared from the master’s life, the master would be perfect.

But what should I do from now on···?

As for my future, I decided to kill the slave traders first and then think about it.

So they were burning down the slave market and killing them one by one.

at that time

The master appeared as if by a miracle.

Tears of emotion flowed.

“Ah, Master······. Why did you come back···? What a kind person···”

I approached him.

Then, startled, he takes a step back.

iced coffee···