episode_0019

From the moment I knew the reward I had risked my life to obtain had flowed into the inventory.

I had thought that Rie would come looking for me again someday— but even though I had expected and braced myself for it, the voice I heard choked me, suffocating me as if my chest was being constricted.

I let out a groan from the intense pressure.

It was clearly a voice I liked.

But it sounded only repulsive and unpleasant.

[So you’re saying a bunch of junk items suddenly poured into the inventory after the rogue subjugation succeeded.]

Rie spoke as if bewildered, seemingly checking something.

[This kid’s trait grew?]

She seemed to have checked my status window, and I heard her voice sounding surprised at the traits and swordsmanship that had grown during that time.

[Silent Steps looks good, can’t I take it and give it to Rie? No? That’s a shame…….]

I got angry at the words that she wanted to casually give my efforts’ results to someone else, but having nothing I could do, I obediently began gathering herbs.

[That’s too excessive a trait for such a failed character.]

[Pitiable? What? Nah- it’s just a game character, aren’t you too immersed?]

I bit my lip at the words she casually spat out, hurtful words, and her dismissal of me as ‘just a game character’.

That’s how I must look.

Since I just look like a character in a game, she must be able to casually say things like that.

In fact, I knew.

That Rie hadn’t done anything significantly wrong.

She had simply created a game character, lost interest, and abandoned it.

And was just happily enjoying playing with a new character.

However, even if I understood it with my head, I couldn’t accept it with my heart.

While Rie was just enjoying the game, the words were bound to make me angry, hearing them while I was struggling inside that game.

So much so that I wanted to mince Rie into hundreds of pieces.

[By the way, things actually progress even if I keep neglecting it?]

[Well, it is half-idle game, so I guess? Even when I’m not logged in, Rie moves on her own, albeit slowly. Her past actions are recorded in the ‘Epic’, and the character ending is reached when the epic concludes through death. Right?]

This is information I’m hearing for the first time.

[I know! I know! Stop flooding the chat with obvious stuff! I read the game info in more detail than you guys!]

All my actions are recorded in an epic, and the story ends through death, leading to an ending.

I can’t even guess what kind of game this is.

Before my narcolepsy became severe, I also enjoyed playing games, so if there was a game like this, I couldn’t possibly not know about it.

In that case, it must be a new game that appeared after I got narcolepsy.

While I was floundering in lethargy.

It’s a game that’s hard to understand.

[I heard there’s an ending other than death. This, the number of concurrent players is 300,000, but not a single person has reached that ending, right? It must either take a very long time or require fulfilling some absurd conditions. I’m not interested in that sort of thing. I’m a streamer, not a game ranker.]

[More importantly, what should I do with this kid?]

I swallowed dryly at Rie’s words, as she seemed to have finished talking about the game with her viewers and returned to the main topic, beginning to discuss my fate.

I had autonomy, but based on my experiences so far, autonomy was by no means all-powerful.

If Rie intended to do something, I could only execute it first and then resist afterwards.

I couldn’t prevent Rie from intending to do something.

[If I leave this kid alone, they’ll keep bringing back junk items and cluttering up the inventory, won’t they? Why on earth is the inventory account-shared… Well, this time it’s okay because they earned money, but Rie has enough money, doesn’t she? Because I have about 10 gold now.]

I went through hell and didn’t even get the equivalent of 1 gold this time.

The newly created character has 10 gold.

“Fucking ridiculous…”

I tried to hold back, but I couldn’t.

Knowing my voice wouldn’t reach anyway, I spat out an insult.

[Should I just delete the character? Pitiable? You guys are really too immersed! Alright, let’s vote, let’s vote.]

My fate, decided by the hands of people I have absolutely nothing to do with.

Is this what an unjustly condemned person feels like?

A chilling sensation, like being dragged to the guillotine for no fault of my own.

I closed my eyes.

My emotions were not refined, swirling chaotically in the depths of my heart.

[Checking the vote results! …What, delete is 23%, neglect is 77%…?]

Fortunately, it seemed I would avoid being deleted, but it wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all.

Being toyed with by the hands of people I have no relation to is anything but pleasant, it’s only unpleasant.

[Alright, alright… You’re saying to neglect? Cluttering up the inventory isn’t great, though.]

Rie, perhaps unable to completely ignore the viewers’ vote results, seemed to back down a step, but with the thought that this couldn’t be the end, I didn’t let my guard down.

[Then I’ll just pass all the junk items onto this kid? They’re useless and probably won’t sell for money, let’s just use this kid as a storage. Good, right? You guys have no complaints, and this data fragment you pity gets some charity.]

Charity.

The blatant irritation in that word choice was evident even just by listening to Rie’s voice.

[It’s just a game… Why can’t I do what I want…? Vicious? You’re banned.]

With a sigh, her voice didn’t continue.

My bag felt a little heavier.

When I rummaged through my bag, it was full of things that seemed to be what Rie had called ‘junk items’.

“2 silver coins and 60 copper coins, a good quality cloak, a waist pouch, hemostatic agent, a silver ring, and a silver necklace…”

Taking out the things that came into my bag and spreading them out, there was quite a lot.

And every single one of them was a valuable item to me.

“This is… a junk item?”

If someone had offered all of these things in exchange for ‘me’, they were the kind of items one might seriously consider, regardless of the outcome.

If she evaluated items like these as ‘junk items’, what kind of life is the one called the ‘main character’ living?

Along with the relief that nothing happened this time, inferiority crept out.

Even if not the upper class, if I had started normally, wouldn’t it not have been this bad?

With such futile fantasies, the pile of herbs I held felt utterly insignificant.

And even myself, who had become so used to digging for such herbs.

“Every time I get used to it, and… every time I somehow adapt, every time I accept the current situation, albeit forcibly, something appears to remind me of reality……”

That things like this are pain I wasn’t originally meant to endure, and humiliation I didn’t have to experience.

Every time I realize that, I start over from the beginning.

Things I had become used to because my threshold had risen, come at me hurtfully, unfairly, once again.

“Wouldn’t it be so much better if they just ignored me completely.”

Looking down at the items in my hand, which Rie called ‘charity’, I swallowed my resentment.

I don’t need things like this.

It would have been enough if she just didn’t appear.

Why on earth does she appear and make me feel so miserable?

“……Shit.”

Even as I spat out the curse, I felt so pathetic about myself who couldn’t bring myself to throw away the items Rie had given as charity, because they seemed so precious and valuable.

I got up from my spot.

I had gathered enough herbs.

I had done everything I needed to do here.

As expected, Rie had approached, and I had survived the crisis again.

Now I just needed to order a weapon and wait for it to be completed.

With plenty of money, it would be fine even if I didn’t take on quests for a few weeks.

Packing the herbs and the items Rie had dumped on me, I returned to the guild.

Perhaps because I had wielded my sword inside the guild, there were no longer people spouting foolish words in front of me.

The only words I heard were whispers behind my back anyway, so there was no reason to care.

However, even if a noble protected me, continuing activities here was out of the question.

Therefore, there was no hesitation.

I had no intention of getting involved with them from today on, so I lifted my gaze, which had been looking down at the floor, and took in each person in my sight.

Looking at the people who flinched and avoided my gaze, I realized something.

When I was in a defenseless state and they looked at me, they all showed strong aggression and disgust.

But now.

After I had suppressed their spirit once, the eyes of those who looked at me were deeply filled not with hostility, but with fear for some reason.

It seemed disgust had turned into fear and dread.

“Bunch of fools.”

Whether it was the guys who badmouthed me after I saved them, or the guys who agreed with them.

Except for half of them, none of them were proper people.

I threw the herbs at the reception desk, received the quest payment, and left.

I immediately headed for the blacksmith the noble had mentioned.

I presented the order form and requested the shape of the sword I wanted.

Hearing that production would take 2 weeks, I packed my bags and moved to a different inn.

Since I had made enemies with the adventurers at the guild, I didn’t know when I might meet a sudden violent end if I stayed in a secluded place like this alone, and perhaps because of the news that I had received a large bounty.

I also didn’t like the innkeeper’s behavior of demanding 50 copper coins for a bowl of tasteless watery soup.

And so, 2 weeks passed.

Just as my sense of time was getting strange from being holed up in the inn practicing swordsmanship, the blacksmith sent someone to inform me that the sword was ready.

I went to the blacksmith’s shop and received the sword.

It was shorter, thinner, and lighter than the sword I originally used.

If I tried to block heavy attacks like those from a mace with this, the blade would surely break.

However, it was just as sharp.

“Thank you.”

“It’s the first time I’ve made such an awkward weapon, so I don’t know if I made it well, but I guess it’s fine if the user is satisfied.”

The blacksmith shrugged his shoulders but also handed me a scabbard made of ebony.

There were no patterns drawn on it, which gave it a sense of emptiness, but perhaps because of that, it had a clean elegance.

“Where will you go now?”

“…Well, I’m thinking of heading to the capital.”

First, I plan to leave this place and go up to the capital.

If the Saint is moving along the pilgrimage route, they will eventually head to the capital.

If I am active in the capital, I will eventually be able to meet them.

The next day.

I boarded the carriage heading for the capital.

And, the day after that.

The carriage was overturned due to an attack by monsters.

I managed to survive with injuries all over my body, but the coachman and horses were killed.

I looked up at the sky.

It was infuriatingly clear, so much that my skin stung.

“………Ha.”

I let out a deep sigh.

I hate the world.