episode_0018

018 – The Goddess Won’t Go Home

In the darkness.

Shadows gathered.

What they were plotting was a dreadful conspiracy!

“The weapon we had hidden has been discovered.”

“It’s fatal.” “How dare he surrender. That Krates fellow was a fool.” “We must postpone the day of the deed. Stay quiet for a while.” “Everything for that person….”

The very suspicious-looking shadows tried to scatter without greetings or pleasantries.

As if it was quite a familiar occurrence.

Then someone spoke.

“What are we going to do about Section Chief Joy? That man will eventually become an obstacle for us.”

“How about ambushing him from behind?” “No, that man is formidable enough to knock down Magnus with his bare fist.” “They say his house is even filled with ‘torture devices’….” “He is truly a bloodthirsty demon….”

Everyone fell silent.

Because there was no clever idea.

At that very moment, someone opened their mouth.

“Here, I will use the ‘Section Chief level’. Please, grant permission for its use….”

“The, the Section Chief level!” “Truly dreadful….”

The shadows began to tremble in fear.

And they raised their hands in unanimous agreement.

“Since it’s decided, let’s go eat now!”

# # #

「Author: Chicoreta」

「Title: Today, let’s learn about Hell Mint*^^」

「Unlike mint from the surface world, Hell Mint grows well when you stomp on it like this *^^*」

「Imagine the mint is your husband’s mistress and stomp on it well *^^*」

「For your information, mint fragrance not only repels insects but also makes a very delicious tea when brewed *^^*」

「-Photo of a blooming flower-」

「-Photo of lushly grown leaves-」

└Anon: Wow, what a truly desirable plant. Chicoreta nim, thank you for another good post today. When will the review for the Hell Cactus I requested come out?

└Chicoreta: I’m looking into it from various angles, so it will be out soon *^^*

Hell Mint.

It was indeed a very desirable plant.

However, its abundant size was a slight problem.

“To grow this, I’d need at least a balcony.”

When I subtly turned my head, the view of my cramped dormitory single room was visible at a glance.

The Hell Cacti placed everywhere filled the space, leaving little empty room.

So, was I dissatisfied?

Not at all!

─Whirr-.

─Whirr, whirr-.

They were cacti that cried out with strange sounds, but ever since I brought a lot of them into the house, it was really good that the Hell Cockroaches didn’t appear in the house anymore.

Thinking I couldn’t be the only one to enjoy this good thing, I even recommended it.

I thought it was especially necessary for Orpheus, who lived in a multi-family house creating a garbage den, but he was terrified.

“Are you telling me to bring this, this dreadful torture device into my home? Section Chief Joy, you are truly a wicked person! It’s truly frightening!”

“How is this a torture device? Look. Pretty yellow flowers have bloomed too.”

What’s wrong with raising cacti?

If you water them well, flowers bloom like this.

It’s better than living with roaches bigger than your palm.

Anyway, a holiday that felt like a long-awaited one.

I stretched lazily and then suddenly froze in terror.

─Shriek!!!

“…W-what is that thing?”

I really thought my heart would stop.

Because a Hell Roach, which had been quiet for a while after I brought in the cacti, appeared again.

This one was even extraordinary.

It was clad in hard, golden chitin armor tough enough to ignore sharp cactus spines, and its body was larger than my face, its wing beats almost like those of a small helicopter.

‘If the roaches until now were regular employee-level, this one is at least Section Chief-level! The golden color I hate the most!’

Vroooom─!

The creature charged directly towards my face, just like a real helicopter.

It seemed the sweet scent of the honey candy in my hand had lured the creature.

I wasn’t even eating it because I wanted to, but forced myself to consume it for inventory disposal, damn it!

─Shriiiiiiek!!

Memories flashed by in various ways.

They say a person becomes more detached in the face of death, and that was exactly how I felt right now.

“Don’t you dare.”

Thwack─!

The Section Chief Roach that had come right up to my nose was hit squarely by someone’s palm.

Squish─squish squish….

The Section Chief Roach hit the wall, writhed and struggled a few times, then collapsed weakly onto the floor.

It was probably dead.

‘I’m alive!’

Alive, but…

I could only look at my sudden savior and uninvited guest and ask this:

“Melinoye nim, what brings you to my house…?”

My stomach felt like it was twisting.

The CEO’s daughter is in my house.

If anyone saw this, I’d be guaranteed to be enshrined as a constellation.

As if unaware of my feelings, Melinoye nim casually cleared away the miserable corpse of the Section Chief Cockroach with her elegant hand, and spoke proudly.

“I am the Vice President of ‘Happy World’. I have the right to access and enter all facilities and buildings existing in Happy World. The same goes for an employee’s home. I don’t even need a key.”

Whoosh, whoosh-. Melinoye nim demonstrated passing through the wall with her hand.

Indeed, befitting her reputation as the Goddess of Ghosts, her body became translucent like a ghost, allowing her to pass through various walls.

Anyway, it was a situation where the Goddess had intruded into my house without warning.

But the Goddess spoke to me, rather chidingly.

“Why are you still living in this house? I clearly gave you a key. The rebel forces’ activities have come to light. Joy, you also need to stay in a safer home.”

“Yes, the rebel forces, you mean.”

At the mention of ‘rebel forces,’ an event from a while ago came to mind.

Krates and the embezzlement real estate incident.

I had intended to usurp that embezzlement for myself, using it as a strategy to get fired.

Krates confessed on his own, and a large quantity of weapons were discovered in that field.

‘Weapons of the rebel forces,’ they said.

‘What rebel forces?’

I don’t know if I should say this, but it was truly amazing to me that there were rebel forces in ‘Happy World’.

What on earth are those guys doing?

Anyway, the important thing was that because of that incident, ‘Happy World’ was turned upside down, and the extensive audit was glossed over as if nothing had happened.

Thanks to that, I also got a long-awaited holiday.

Although I had been wanting to change jobs from a few days ago until recently, honestly, rest tasted as sweet as honey, so it was good.

‘It would have been even better if the Nightmare Goddess hadn’t appeared.’

My stomach feels sour in many ways.

It’s a good thing I skipped breakfast.

If I had eaten a hearty meal, I would have gotten indigestion just now.

Soon, the Goddess spoke.

“Then, hurry up and move. Pack your bags too.”

“Bags?”

“You have to move. You can’t stay in a house with such lax security when the rebel forces might be targeting you. If I were the rebel forces, I’d target excellent employees first.”

She seemed to be overdoing it.

However, moving to a larger house was quite appealing.

I also wanted to add a few more cacti, and I wanted to plant something called ‘Hell Mint’ that I saw on Hermes Net today.

To grow this, it was better to have a veranda.

“Is there a balcony?”

“It’s spacious.”

“Melinoye nim, please lead the way!”

“Puh-huh, what are you saying? First, we have to pack the bags.”

And so, I packed the moving bags with the Goddess.

Rustle, rustle-.

Packing bags with a beautiful woman on a nice day.

It had quite a romantic aspect to it.

“Rustle, rustle. Crinkle, rustle. It’s okay, ding ding ding ding ding-.”

Was packing bags making her feel good?

The Goddess was even humming a tune.

‘Damn, she’s cute in an unbefitting way. If only she weren’t the CEO’s daughter…’

If the woman in front of me were an ordinary person, my heart would have been pounding with pink tension right now, making it difficult to collect my thoughts.

Of course, even now my heart was pounding intensely, and it was difficult to collect my thoughts.

The color of that tension was closer to dark black than pink.

It was completely grotesque.

Smash-!

“…Ahem ahem, for a perfect goddess like me to make such a mistake… Joy, I’m sorry about that. That wasn’t a cherished plate, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Smash-!

“…And this one?”

“No, it’s not.”

Smash-!

“Melinoye nim, I’ll pack the bags, so please just rest.”

After packing all the bags, I followed Melinoye nim to where the new house was.

The new house was located slightly on the outskirts of ‘Happy World’ city, but it was surprisingly cozy.

One bathroom, one living room connected to the kitchen, and two rooms.

One room would be perfect for a closet or a desk, and the remaining room could be used as a bedroom.

The spacious balcony also pleased me.

There would be enough space even after placing the cacti and Hell Mint.

If I even plant Hell Mint, even the Section Chief-level Hell Roach I saw earlier wouldn’t dare to intrude.

It would truly become my own perfect sanctuary.

“It seems there are some basic necessities. Let’s go to a nearby store and buy various things. I’d also like to compensate you for the dishes I broke earlier.”

We went to a large supermarket.

There, while we were buying dishes, cups, toothbrushes, and such, Melinoye nim seemed to stare for a while, then began to offer various advice.

“I think this pot looks good. The capacity is generous too. And this plate is good. Because it’s red. Buy one more toothbrush and cup. Since the house is bigger, a guest might stay over.”

This is my chance!

A chance to lower my favorability score with Melinoye nim!

“Then, since we’re buying anyway, let’s buy the most expensive ones.”

So I quickly picked only the best items in the store, but Melinoye nim pulled out a black card and paid as if it were nothing.

Was it an executive-only payment card?

It was my first time seeing one in person too.

Before I knew it, it was evening.

I thought Melinoye nim would gradually leave now.

But Melinoye nim showed no signs of leaving at all.

‘When on earth is she planning to go home? Surely she’s not thinking of staying for dinner too?’

Instead, she sat on the newly bought sofa, turned on the TV, and started looking through various things.

「You from the Abyss」

「Kidnapped by the Grand Duke of the Underworld」

「My Boyfriend is Actually the Underworld Prince?」

「Otherworld Illegal Resident Cult」

“Romance dramas. It’s all just romance dramas. This must all be because of ‘Workplace Innovation’, too. There used to be a lot of serious historical dramas.”

Melinoye nim didn’t seem to like the TV filled only with romance dramas.

Eventually, Melinoye nim turned off the TV and let out a sigh.

“Why do people like romance stories so much? Joy, do you too?”

“For me, it’s just so-so.”

“Hmm, indeed, people of my standing should also pay attention to employees’ relationships and marriages. In that sense, Joy, what type of woman is your preference?”

……!

In exams, there are ‘killer questions’.

Literally, they are ‘people-killing questions’.

At this moment, I instinctively knew this was a ‘killer question’.

It wasn’t just any killer question, it was the ‘cold-blooded chainsaw serial killer question’ of Happy World.

If I answered well here, I might be able to significantly decrease my favorability score with Melinoye nim.

Swish swish swish swish-.

I steeled myself to be slightly disrespectful and quickly scanned Melinoye nim from top to bottom.

The serious conclusion reached thus.

“I like women who are lively, laugh a lot, and are good at sports. And for skin, it’s generally better if it’s healthily tanned, and it would be even better if she had blonde hair and blue eyes.”

A list of images that were the opposite of Melinoye nim in many ways.

Even after saying it myself, my legs trembled with tension.

‘Did I refuse too indirectly?’

So I anxiously awaited Melinoye nim’s reaction─.

“Sigh….”

Princess Melinoye sighed once more.

She shook her head and said.

“Joy, as expected, you like me.”

“Huh?”

“The characteristics you just mentioned. Anyone can see it’s me, as expected. If you confess so directly, it’s hard for me to pretend not to know.”

Goddess nim.

Did you really hear my answer just now?