episode_0018

“Did I sleep for about six hours?”

Checking his phone, Minho saw he had received a significant number of messages. Most of the senders, excluding coworkers and friends, were Mira.

Most were trivial questions, like if he arrived home safely or what he was doing. They were typical well-wishing texts exchanged between lovers.

Minho hurried to reply. He hadn’t been able to respond because he was asleep, and he didn’t know if Mira had been waiting for his reply all this time.

At the same time, an uneasy thought crossed his mind.

*What if Mira’s memories return?*

He was scared and afraid that if she found out what had happened, she would immediately go to the police station and report him.

However, in Minho’s opinion, Mira’s personality didn’t seem like she would immediately report him to the police. Though she appeared bright now that she had lost her memories, she was previously the type to speak very cautiously. He presumed that was her true nature. She was only showing a bright demeanor now because she mistook him for Yunyoung.

So, if Mira recalled what happened at the motel, it seemed likely she would try to talk to him first, rather than report him, once her memories returned.

Minho thought he should create many favorable situations for himself, even if it was just to prepare for that moment.

Even if he had to imitate Yunyoung now, being kind to Mira and showering her with attention might be a great help later.

He planned to make her hesitate about reporting him by appealing to how much he had “cared” for her.

—1—

Weeks had passed, but Mira still hadn’t recovered her memories. The doctor’s words that she would soon recover seemed to have been entirely wrong. And to this day, she still mistook Minho for the deceased Yunyoung, treating him like a lover.

Because of this, he had been able to avoid the awkward conversation he would have with Mira once she regained her memories, but Minho remained anxious and couldn’t relax.

Minho tried to analyze Mira’s mental state through their conversations. As a result, he found a few things.

First, Mira didn’t know about Yunyoung’s death, and while she believed she had spent the last year with Yunyoung, she couldn’t recall any detailed memories of it. Naturally, since such a past didn’t exist, she couldn’t remember it.

Minho couldn’t just leave Mira as she was. He first thought he needed to understand her condition, so he took her to a psychiatrist for a consultation.

Mira was reluctant to go because visiting a psychiatrist didn’t have a very good social perception.

However, when Minho persuaded her, she eventually couldn’t resist and accepted. He realized one thing here: no matter what he asked for, Mira would eventually accept it even if she disliked it. He felt this part could be useful later.

Minho, as Mira’s guardian, was also present during her consultation. There was no one else who could be Mira’s guardian besides Minho. Her family couldn’t be reached, and she had no close friends.

The hospital doctor asked Mira various questions and had her fill out a questionnaire. They also listened carefully to Minho’s statements.

Judging the overall results, the doctor stated that further examinations were needed and recommended hospitalization. So, Mira had no choice but to be hospitalized for a few more days.

In a quiet emergency exit stairwell, Mira, dressed in a patient gown, grumbled to Minho.

“You took me to the hospital saying it was just for a light consultation, but then you had me hospitalized. What is this?”

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t know it would turn out like this either.”

Minho had a hard time appeasing the grumpy Mira. Hospitalization required not only Minho’s but also Mira’s consent. This was due to safety measures by the hospital, as mental illness-related hospitalizations could be misused as forced admissions.

Persuading Mira, who insisted she was fine, to sign the hospitalization consent form was troublesome and difficult.

“Please think of it as being for your own good. Just in case, it wouldn’t be bad to get a thorough examination while we have the chance, right?”

When Minho spoke to that extent, Mira had no choice but to agree. More than anything, the person opposite her appeared to be Yunyoung, whom she loved, so even when she was angry, she didn’t feel comfortable.

Over several days, Mira underwent various examinations at the hospital, including blood tests, CT scans of the brain, EEG, MRI, and psychiatric counseling.

During her hospitalization, Minho didn’t visit, citing that he was busy with work. Mira was upset, thinking he would at least show his face once, but he never came.

However, she didn’t want to trouble Yunyoung by complaining, so she suppressed her feelings and endured.

Minho visited again on the day Mira’s test results came out.

Mira was so happy to see her lover after several days that she rushed to hug him and kiss him on the cheek. However, Minho’s mind was entirely focused on the hospital test results. His expression was poor because of this, but Mira, thinking he was worried about her, offered words of comfort.

“I’m perfectly fine, so the test results will be fine too. I don’t feel sick at all. See? I’m this lively.”

“Right.”

Minho thought Mira was foolish for thinking she was fine when she couldn’t even recognize people. He had Mira wait elsewhere, and Minho listened to the test results alone in the consultation room.

The doctor displayed an image of Mira’s brain on the monitor beside him and continued his explanation. Then, he uttered shocking words.

“It’s schizophrenia. You might have heard it referred to as mental disorder, right?”

Minho’s eyes widened at the unexpected statement.

Schizophrenia. It was a well-known mental illness, so he had a rough idea of its symptoms. Typically, these included auditory hallucinations, delusions, and cognitive dissonance. In Mira’s case, mistaking Minho for Yunyoung was a prime example.

“Then what about her memory loss? She can’t remember anything from the past year. Is this also due to schizophrenia?”

“While there isn’t a direct link between schizophrenia and amnesia, both can stem from stress. In the patient’s case, both conditions apply.”

“Then what happens? Will she have to live like that her whole life?”

In social perception, the view that people with schizophrenia are abnormal is overwhelming. It’s common to consider them problematic and unable to be self-sufficient. Minho also held such a perception.

So, upon hearing the doctor say she had schizophrenia, he immediately felt worried. While he had no intention of taking responsibility for Mira, she was Yunyoung’s girlfriend, so he couldn’t just abandon her irresponsibly like a stranger.

Mira seemed to have no family left, and her only human connection was with Yunyoung. Although she might have had other relationships before, she had been holed up in her room for a year after the funeral, so any friendships she might have had would have been severed.

It wouldn’t be strange for something terrible to await her if she, a virtual outcast, were left in society while suffering from schizophrenia.

“It’s not a level to be overly concerned about. Please be relieved. Although it’s an acute phase, it’s still in its early stages, so if she receives proper treatment, recovery is possible, and she’ll have no problems in her daily life.”

Minho’s steps were heavy as he left the consultation room.

Patients have a right to know about the illness they are suffering from. But while a minor mental illness might be one thing, who would easily believe it if it were revealed that she was suffering from full-blown schizophrenia?

Minho, currently registered as Mira’s guardian at the hospital, had to inform her of the results first. This was the recommended approach because it was easier for the guardian to make the patient aware of their illness than for the doctor.

When Minho told Mira the diagnosis of schizophrenia, as expected, she couldn’t believe it.

“I have schizophrenia? That’s a lie. I’m perfectly fine.”

Even when he told her that treatment was possible, Mira’s complexion didn’t improve. Regardless of the possibility of treatment, she couldn’t accept that she, who believed herself to be perfectly fine, had schizophrenia.

Minho had to keep comforting her and staying by her side. A few days later, Mira decided to accept the truth.

“I’ll work hard to get treatment… because the doctor-nim said I can get better quickly. So… so what I mean is…”

“What is it? Go on.”

“Please don’t dislike me. I… I’ll really work hard to get treated.”

Mira seemed worried that Yunyoung might abandon her because she had a mental illness. She thought that his interest as a lover might wane, and they might break up because she was suffering from a mental illness.

“Don’t say such foolish things. Why would I stop loving you for a reason like that?”

“If I have schizophrenia, you might find me scary or unsettling, right?”

Mira choked back a sob. Minho placed both hands on her shoulders, as if comforting her.

“It’s not like that, so don’t worry.”

Of course, Minho was merely recalling and doing what Yunyoung would likely say and do if he were still alive.