episode_0018

“Tskcha.”

Today again, I sit on a coastal cliff under the stars and read a book quietly while looking at the scenery.

Has it already been 4 days?

Four days ago, I went exploring a mysterious dungeon with mercenary members such as Hans and Birong.

Since it was an unknown dungeon, I was definitely careful… but as I’ve only been seeing good results lately, I think I’ve become complacent without realizing it.

‘what. The result is now back to the main body like this.’

It’s already been 4 days, and I can’t go back to my body. I’m not even sure if the clone is dead or alive.

I vaguely feel like I’m alive. It felt like I was literally ‘just alive’.

Because I felt only a faint aura, as if it wouldn’t be strange if I died right now.

“The one that hit me was probably… a vulture spider.”

As soon as the purple poison-covered arrow hit my body, I lost consciousness as if the power was turned off.

If I sum up the information I found in this monster encyclopedia that I’ve been reading for a week now, I think it’s probably the Vulture Spider’s poison.

That’s right, even though my clone didn’t have Ceris-level talent, it had a potential level of 4 stars or higher.

The body was of the envy of ordinary people and mercenaries… but that body went to the point of death in one go.

“A 4-star high-ranking monster… It has not been discovered in the past 5 years…”

Additionally, it is written that the Vulture Spider’s deadly poison is so toxic that it can kill even veteran mercenaries with just a few drops….

“Ugh. No luck…”

On the outside, it was a very small and unremarkable dungeon… but I would have guessed that it was hiding such a blade.

Since there was nothing else like this, I sighed and looked at the stars in the distance.

“Anyway. Where is the location of this Trea village?”

Because I did not yet know the geography of the imperial territory properly, I was unable to pinpoint the location of Trea Village, where I was located.

It’s on the coast, and it’s such a peaceful and beautiful town… but for some reason, you don’t see many people.

Wow…

“U. It’s quite chilly now. I should go to the library and then go home.”

Summer, which was hot all day long, has passed before we knew it, and now fall has arrived. A rather chilly autumn breeze blew and I felt cold, so I changed my clothes and headed to the library.

rattle-

“…………………..”

Nod.

I gave a brief nod to the librarian, who seemed to have a robot-like expression on his face again today, and handed him the monster encyclopedia I had read.

“………….”

Crunchy.

“Hello…Goodbye…”

I returned the book and looked through the books, but I couldn’t see any books I wanted to read, so I said my goodbyes and went straight home.

It seems like the librarian is staring at me today.

That could be possible, well.

“Haaam…. Ugh!”

As I was leaving the library and heading home, I suddenly felt drowsy. This fatigue…is it the feeling you get when your alter ego wakes up?!

“You finally woke up! By the way… you managed to survive?”

I thought the clone would die like this. I guess he survived.

Well, I rather like it! Now shall we go back to the alter ego?

“Haaam….”

As soon as I got home, I laid down on the soft bed and did not refuse to fall asleep.

***

It’s already day 5. They say it’s been five days since the leader lost his mind.

“…………”

I no longer feel any hope or even will. The tears that seemed to flow endlessly had dried up, and I could only stare into space with empty eyes.

‘Why is it that they don’t allow even a single ray of light to me?’

Why are they mercilessly taking away even the small light that came to me?

Do I not deserve to be happy? Am I supposed to not be happy?

Just a little daily life with the leader. To me, it was happiness, it was everything in life.

“…….”

As a reward for shouting for five days and nights, my throat was already completely hoarse and not even a small sound could escape.

I just quietly watch the small light fading away.

I flinch.

Again. I began to hallucinate again that the leader was moving. About three days after the leader collapsed, the leader with a normal complexion appeared before my eyes.

At that time, I was really happy like a little girl just knowing that the leader had returned. It felt like my heart was once again filled with warm light, and my mood reached its peak.

that day. As soon as I saw the leader awake, I ran to the therapist and reported his condition. The therapist came back to the bed with me, shocked.

I still can’t forget the therapist’s expression at that time. I just looked back at myself and the hospital bed with a face mixed with surprise, despair, sadness, and sympathy.

When I realized something was wrong and looked back at the hospital bed, crying out the leader’s name, the leader who had survived safely disappeared like a mirage, and all I could see was the dying light again.

My heart, which seemed to soar to the sky with anticipation and hope, plummeted to the ground.

My heart, barely put together, was once again shattered.

The higher you climb, the more painful and painful it is when you fall.

From that day on, I started having hallucinations and auditory hallucinations all the time.

The sound of the leader calling my name. The leader stands up. A small gesture…

I knew that all of those things were fake, but even so, I rubbed my eyes with a glimmer of hope, and when I came to my senses and looked back, only despair came back again.

I flinch… I flinch.

This time, I seem to hallucinate the leader moving his fingers and body little by little.

Now… I could only stare in fascination, as if I had given up on everything.

“Seris…continuously…chief?”

“…….”

I hear the leader’s voice sounding more subdued than usual, and I see the leader’s bewildered expression.

under. Am I going crazy now? As the days go by… it becomes more realistic.

“I don’t know anymore either.”

I just wanted to give up everything and live in a fantasy.

Even if it’s an illusion, I can see the leader’s wonderful appearance… and my light by my side again.

“Cough…cough. Vice-captain Seris… Can’t you hear me?”

“….Ha..Ha..”

Please stop. Don’t laugh at me… and don’t make me get excited.

“Fantasy…it’s okay…because…”

“Vice-captain Seris?”

Just… leave me alone. I don’t want to live in this disgusting, dirty world anymore.

From the paradise I’ve barely reached… Please don’t send me away.

Thump-

“This time… it feels really realistic…haha…”

The leader’s large hand grabs my arm. It is the most realistic fantasy I have ever seen.

If I die like this… I can live my whole life in this fantasy. Without even realizing it was an illusion.

‘….let’s die. huh…’

Because I no longer need my life without you. On a road without light to illuminate the front, it is impossible to even get direction.

Slurp-

He immediately took out the small sword hanging from his waist, closed his eyes, and stabbed it towards his own neck.

…I’ll follow along in a moment. Captain…

Tup-!

“What are you doing now!”

“….Huh?”

When I was about to give up everything and end my life, the leader in my fantasy grabbed my arm.

This can’t be happening…? No matter how realistic it is, it can’t have a physical impact on me?

“Vice-captain Seris! Come to your senses…! Why are you suddenly trying to harm yourself!”

“….only….blind..?”

“Okay. It’s me! Venice, leader of the Scar mercenaries!”

“Ah…no…”

Do not lie. I won’t be fooled anymore. Have I finally lost my mind? Why did I become conscious that the leader in front of me… was real?

“Woe…why is it an illusion…”

“It’s not an illusion, Vice-Captain Seris! This is a stark reality, and I am real!”

“Ah….ah..?”

The leader’s expression looks somewhat angry. And as I fumbled with my hand, I could clearly feel the solid body.

And the warmth that seems to fill everything I have.

“Sweet….Blind…?”

“…It’s me. Vice-captain Seris. I’m sorry… for making you wait so long.”

“Ah….ahhh…!!!”

I immediately went into the leader’s arms and hugged him so tightly that his body was broken. Realistic tactile sensations felt again.

Is the leader back? Isn’t it really a fantasy? Now… can I really trust you?

“You went through a lot of trouble because of me, Vice Captain Seris…”

“Ah…ahhh..!!”

When Ceris received the warm pat with the same expressionless expression as always, it was as if something she had been holding in had burst out, and she could only make noises without being able to speak properly.

“Captain…Captain,Captain,Captain…!!”

“It’s me. Vice-captain Seris.”

“It’s really…not an illusion…? Can I trust you…?”

“That’s right. I am not a fantasy, this is clear reality.”

I thought that the tears would dry up and not flow anymore, but what was this liquid that was flowing like crazy down my cheeks?

I couldn’t even think straight, I just hugged the leader with tears in my eyes.

I will never again forget the warmth of the person I love the most and who saved my life.

How could I forget? You have already become my everything and more.

“Huh…!”

I cried out at the top of my lungs at the warmth I felt from the tight embrace and the gentle pat on my back.

***

“…….”

I saw Ceris, exhausted from crying, sound asleep in my arms.

How long had I not slept? Cerise’s flawless face had dark circles and fatigue stood out.

‘Could it be that since the day I fell…?’

I’m so sorry. Just because of me… there was no need for this to happen.

“……Thank you.”

“……Heh..”

As I stroked the head of Ceris, who had fallen asleep in my arms, she smiled slightly.

….Reminds me of the old days.

“…….What’s going on… Ugh…!”

“Hmm. Nice to meet you.”

“Uh…how…!”

A familiar therapist must have heard Cerise’s screams and hurriedly entered the room.

As soon as the therapist saw my face, he was astonished as if he had seen a ghost.

After that, I listened to the therapist’s explanation.

The fact that I survived was truly a miracle from heaven. Among the countless veteran mercenaries, only a very small number survived after being poisoned by the Vulture Spider.

“Due to the effects of the poison, my physical abilities seem to have decreased… and my senses will probably become dull in the future.”

“…Hmm. That’s okay.”

“Then rest in peace.”

The therapist, who briefly asked me some questions, told me that I had become dull to many things due to the effects of the poison.

Pain, taste, hearing, touch… all five senses and feelings that humans can feel.

‘For some reason, I felt strange a while ago.’

The soft bed and blanket didn’t feel that good, and more than anything, my body felt sluggish overall.

Well… I guess I should be thankful that I survived.

I looked at the cool autumn breeze blowing through the open window and the group of fallen leaves that had begun to fall.

Quietly, like looking at the starlight from a coastal cliff.