episode_0018
by adminAs my anxiety and fear about my older brother grew, my grandfather patted my head.
“There’s no need to be so anxious. We always hear stories of people with too much power running wild.”
I just shook my head at my grandfather’s actions that so accurately captured my anxiety.
“There’s no need to be so anxious. It happens all the time, and it’s something I’ve heard before. If you get used to handling your abilities, this won’t happen again.”
“Is that so… .”
But there was one thing that I didn’t understand. No matter what, why would they attack their own parents? We’re not just animals without reason.
What that means is that when Hyung uses his abilities, he might do something like that someday.
I was so scared of having someone like that around me. I thought he might show his teeth at me one day.
“If you’re really scared, then you just have to learn your abilities.”
“Ah.”
“That’s why this moment exists. Okay, then let’s get started.”
It was a good thing that this came to me as a countermeasure.
I could have stopped that monster that was running wild like my father.
“Okay, let’s get started.”
“Okay. Now you know why I’m sitting down. First, I have to meditate.”
“… . Yes?”
Meditation?
It was such an abrupt statement. Isn’t meditation a boring act? Isn’t it a state where you have to sit still and do nothing, neither sleeping nor not sleeping, but just being in a daze?
“I don’t want to do that!”
“That’s something you have to do, baby.”
“Why? What should I find through meditation?”
“You need to find the basis of your ability.”
“The basis of ability?”
“Yes. There is a bead that contains all the blessings.”
A bead filled with blessings…? Why do I have to find it? No, isn’t ability supposed to be something I can summon as I wish?
“To be exact, it feels like you’re looking for blessings you haven’t used. The blessings inside you are usually gathered in one place.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. So you’re looking for blessings.”
“… Huh… .”
First, I sat down without saying anything and started meditating.
They say meditation means closing your eyes and not thinking about anything.
What should I do? Should I just keep my eyes closed?
“Okay. Now that your eyes are closed, there’s only one thing you have to do.”
“What is it?”
I kept listening to those words as I closed my eyes and practiced emptying my mind.
“It’s about finding the ability within you. Think of it as a continuous journey within yourself.”
“What about my suggestion?”
“Yeah. It keeps going around in your mind.”
“Um… .”
It was a little difficult to understand what he meant. Was it even possible to wander around inside my mind? I still didn’t even understand how to do that.
Looking at me like that, my grandfather said.
“You just do it with your mind. With your mind. Do you talk to yourself?”
“… No.”
“So you can’t even sense it. Do you have a lot of interesting thoughts yourself? Aren’t you just looking at reality? Meditation is difficult for people who think a lot, but people who don’t think can’t even find a direction.”
“… .”
With those words, I felt like I was starting to get a little bit of a feel for it.
It just means that I should think the same way as I do while living here. It means that my movements in this space should be the same as what I think unconsciously when doing something.
After realizing that, I sat still and continued to think.
As I thought about looking inside my mind, the place started to become colorful.
The space that I thought was dark was like a very neatly organized room.
I could see the scent of the zelkova tree, which I always loved. And my thoughts, as if confined within this, could be seen, and I could see people’s books.
I could intuitively tell what would be written in the books with each person’s name on them. More than that, I now had to find out what my grandfather had said… .
“Huh?”
I saw something in a fancy box that I had never seen before.
I can’t find a way to describe it other than to say it’s luxurious. The color of the black wood with silver patterns. I’ve definitely heard of it, but what was it?
Mother-of-pearl inlay! Yes, I think it was something called mother-of-pearl inlay. But, why on earth does such an old-fashioned object exist in my imagination? As if I knew about it and placed it here on purpose.
-Click.
No matter how much I thought about it, I opened the box, thinking that this was the only place it could be.
What appeared was a very small bead. A very small bead that seemed too small to be worn as a necklace.
‘I could make it into a bracelet.’
It was a size that made it look like it could be made into a bracelet and held tightly. As I looked at it, one thing came to mind.
“This is my ability.”
The brilliant white color seemed to scream that it was an ability prepared for me. I don’t know exactly what kind of orbs other beings have. But… .
“If I hold this, I feel like I can control my abilities.”
-Kwak.
Nothing mattered except obtaining a means of response right now.
‘You’re doing well.’
He looks down at his grandson quietly.
This is a strange time. Twins that haven’t appeared in hundreds of years. That means that the world has been stable for a long time.
In addition, the blessings that had been passed down were weaker than those of Lee Yeon.
‘It’s almost at the level of a collateral, so there’s no energy… .’
I often heard stories about them acting like cats, but that wasn’t important. It’s also said that their direct descendants often couldn’t suppress their cat-like instincts when they were young, and I heard stories about their ancestors doing the same.
‘But where do you not eat raw meat?’
If he had even committed the act of eating raw meat, I might have turned into a white tiger and licked the child to teach him that he shouldn’t do that.
“Hmm… .”
Energy is seen fluctuating near Hani’s body.
‘It’ll change soon.’
The moment I had that thought.
-pop.
“…?!”
Hani suddenly changed completely.
“Hana?!”
“먕… ?”
“… … ?”
Hani has turned into a very small tiger cub. He originally had little energy. He was a very small child. But, a tiger cub.
No matter what, it has to change to the level of an adult… .
“Hanini?”
No matter what, I never thought it would turn into a young tiger like this.
… . This is water- no, no. I feel like I have to carry it around.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“What!”
It doesn’t seem particularly cold… … .
Oh, you have to trust what the kids say. They say it’s not cold, but the kids are the ones who catch a cold…
“Ugh… First, turn into a human and put on clothes.”
“Meow-!”
After a while, a sound of hair thinning was heard.
“Kreuk… Kkeung… Ugh… .”
Maybe it was because I didn’t have enough strength, but it felt like my body was slightly hurting as it changed. Well, it must hurt to change into that kind of kid’s appearance, and then become an adult.
For no reason, I patted the child’s head.
“Well done.”
“Ugh… Is it always this painful?”
“They say that it can’t be helped because the body changes suddenly. I’ll try to endure it. But one thing seems certain.”
“What is it?”
“You probably won’t have much opportunity to fight with your abilities in the future.”
“… . Really? Why?”
There was a deep disappointment in the child’s eyes. But it couldn’t be helped. Han-i’s abilities were not strong.
On the contrary, he was so weak that he was pushed to the rear in battle, and even if he was rated highly, he was only a lieutenant.
A common soldier, or even lower. Han-i seemed to have thought of using this to suppress his outburst a little bit… .
“Your abilities are too weak.”
I had no choice but to tell the child the bitter reality: no matter how hard he fought, he could not win.
It is impossible to defeat that lump of power. So, it was right that this child had to learn how to deal with it.
‘I think it would be good to teach them at least some spearmanship or bow skills so that they know how to protect themselves.’
It didn’t make sense to fight that ridiculous white tiger up close. That’s what Han-i wanted, so all I could think about was teaching him that.
“Then I…..”
There was an air of sadness surrounding the child, but it was inevitable.
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