episode_0017

Episode 17. The Circumstances of a Crazy Woman.

“······Yes. Well. I understand. I was also curious. The power is too different······ Huh?”

I deliberately widened my eyes. As if witnessing a scene I hadn’t expected at all.

She quickly asked.

“Why? Is something wrong?”

“No, the status window······ the stats······ why is it like this?”

“What’s wrong with them?”

“They are too high. Clearly, just yesterday, the level of Magic Missile was 1······?”

“······!”

“Uh, uh? There’s even a new skill! Shield? This is what I was trying to buy!”

In that instant, Kim Sara’s eyes widened like a startled cat. She opened them so wide that her sclera showed.

“······.”

Awkwardly, she reached out her hand and pretended to use the skill.

“Shield?”

Poof, a semi-transparent barrier appeared. I pretended to be amazed like a child, carefully examining the shield.

“Oh! It really works?”

“······Yohan.”

“What’s with the suddenness? There must be a reason······.”

“Yohan!”

Suddenly, she shouted at me. I was startled and turned my head towards her.

“Yes, yes?”

“Let’s talk for a bit. Let’s stop hunting here for a while.”

“Uh······ I understand. I was going to anyway, since I’m confused.”

“······.”

Haa, she sighed without making eye contact with me.

***

Shivers, shivers······.

Kim Sara realized that her hands were trembling too much right now.

She quickly wrapped her right hand with her left hand to try to stop the trembling, but instead, the shaking was amplified as her two hands touched.

It was a rare occurrence for her, as her emotions had become quite dull due to repeated regressions.

When was the last time she trembled like this? Was it when she committed her first murder?

She couldn’t remember well. Humans are creatures of forgetfulness, and she, who had turned back time countless times, was no exception.

‘Take a deep breath. Nothing is certain yet. Slowly, slowly. It’s just a matter of talking.’

Disappointment is proportional to expectation. She felt that fact more keenly than anyone else. She tried her best to control her emotions.

“Hoo······ Yohan. The food you ate this morning. You said you remembered eating it before, right?”

“Yes? Ah, yes. It’s vague, but I definitely remember it. Haha, but it must be a delusion. Isn’t it a special dish from the innkeeper? It can’t be.”

Tight─ She bit her lip. The sense of alienation from others that she felt after a long time.

The distance that emerged when her acquaintance couldn’t even remember a single bit of the future that she had clearly experienced.

The senses that she thought she had already discarded came back to her again.

Don’t expect anything. But humans are creatures of forgetfulness. Once again, she forcibly erased her past memories and held onto expectations.

“Besides that, is there anything else you remember? Nothing at all?”

“······Hmm. Well. I don’t remember much besides that······.”

Yohan frowned and pondered. She watched the scene with bated breath.

Please, if this miracle happened thanks to his [Memory] trait. I hope that a miracle will happen just one more time. Please.

Then, Yohan opened his mouth, his brow brightening.

“Oh! Now that I think about it, there’s one memory that comes to mind.”

“What is it?”

Yohan scratched the back of his head and awkwardly began to speak.

“There was······ well, I remember having a fierce battle. There were quite a few opponents, I think there were at least 10 of them. But that’s it. No matter how hard I try to remember, I can’t remember anything else.”

“······!”

He laughed, “Haha.

“It’s absurd, right? This is embarrassing.”

“······Me.”

“Yes? What did you say just now······.”

Was it because she spoke too softly? He lowered his head and listened. She spoke in a trembling voice.

“I remember that too. The food I ate this morning, the memory of fighting with a group of men. Everything, I remember it vividly.”

“What does that mean······ Haha, you don’t have to humor me.”

“No. There’s nothing wrong with Yohan’s memory. Yohan. I’m actually······.”

Gulp, saliva involuntarily went down her throat. In fact, this wasn’t the first time she had revealed her secret to others.

But most other people didn’t believe her. Or rather, to be precise, they didn’t understand at all.

If there was an invisible wall, this would be the feeling, as if ‘someone’ was forcibly blocking their ears.

What are you talking about, I don’t know what you’re saying. People momentarily made blank faces as if they had intellectual disabilities and couldn’t understand.

She was so creeped out by that sight that she still vividly remembered the first time she revealed the truth.

“······I’m a time regressor. I have the ability to go back to the past when I die.”

Now, what about you? She carefully studied Yohan’s expression······ and then hardened her face.

Blannnnk·····

Yohan made a strange expression and asked her back.

“Yes? What did you say just now?”

“······.”

Thud, she lost her strength. She lowered her head and looked at the ground. For some reason, it was difficult to keep looking at Yohan’s eyes.

“······.”

The despair from vain hope was enormous, and it grew larger and larger, devouring her.

The feeling of being left alone in the world. It was a feeling she always felt, but it was a bit too much today.

Yeah, there’s no way. You expected it, right? But it wasn’t so bad. He doesn’t seem to understand, but he was clearly affected by the regression.

It seems like he can’t remember, but his stats are maintained, so let’s be satisfied with the fact that we have a reliable companion to climb the tower with. Hmm, that’s enough.

She closed her eyes and began to soothe her fluctuating emotions. She couldn’t bear to look at the space she shared with Yohan.

“······.”

Then. Yohan’s nonchalant voice was heard above her head.

“It could be a daydream. I recently found out, but my trait allows me to remember even the content of my dreams. Maybe it’s a dream, I guess.”

“······!”

The word ‘dream’ shocked her. No, that’s not just a dream. It’s definitely the ‘future’ that I experienced.

“Don’t worry too much. Everyone has those kinds of things once in a while······.”

She shouted at Yohan in a savage voice without even realizing it.

“It’s not a dream!”

“······!”

“The fact that I killed those people, the fact that Yohan died to those guys! It’s definitely not a dream! It’s all reality!”

“······.”

Her vision is blurry. Why is Yohan so blurry? And why does his expression look like that? A pale face, his lips trembling as if he’s flustered······ Huh?

It’s scary, don’t look at me like that. I’m not a crazy woman. It’s definitely the reality I’ve lived in.

A dream? Am I dreaming right now? Well, is it possible for the world to go back to the past just because I die? No way. Absolutely no way.

Ah, I guess I’ll have to die one more time. From the beginning, this world didn’t make sense. Tower? Magic? Hehe, I’ve been watching too many movies lately.

I shouldn’t have been with you in the first place. It’s my fault for being relieved that you had a lover.

If it wasn’t for that strange trait, I wouldn’t have had this much hope.

Clang─

She slowly drew her sword. She couldn’t think straight at all. Let’s go back to the first day of the first floor for now. Let’s start over from there.

Companions? I don’t need that kind of thing. No matter how difficult the trials come, I can just die. I can start over.

Whoosh─

The blue blade, boasting its sharpness, approached her heart. Even in the moment when death was approaching, she felt a strange sense of comfort.

Now, I will never have hope again······

Thud!

“Uh, uh? What are you doing right now! What’s going on all of a sudden!”

“······.”

She looked down. A semi-transparent barrier appeared, protecting her heart.

Right······. You protected me earlier too. Although you can’t remember it.

It was touching. To stop for someone you’ve only known for 4 days.

When escaping from those men, I deliberately tripped and fell.

Because there was no reason to avoid it. Even if I lost, I was confident that I could win if I fought next time.

I thought Yohan would abandon me. A desperate situation that was strangling my life. A stranger I hadn’t known for long.

Anyone could have predicted the next result, even if it wasn’t me. The picture of abandoning his companion and running away alone.

But he didn’t. He turned around as if it was natural and fought to the death with me, and eventually died.

I admit it. I was honestly touched. Everyone only has one life. Because everyone’s true nature comes out in the moment of death.

So that must be why.

“Please······ Leave me alone. Please······.”

Why is my heart aching so much like this. Please, erase me from your mind. Please.