episode_0015

I spent several days as if time had stopped in the world.

It was so confusing and bewildering that I kept my mouth shut for days. On the other hand, I nodded in rationalization that my limbs and mind had gone out of control. But as soon as reason sprouted, I shook my head and denied rationalizing my flight.

My time was frozen as it was on that evening.

The evening when I dared to kiss Serin on the forehead.

I visited several villages and walked through forest paths, feeling numb, constantly getting into accidents and fighting endlessly.

How could I have acted like that? Approaching boldly as if possessed, committing acts that should not have been done. This was clearly a mockery and a broken mind’s misstep. Even if I grew up in a bad environment, I had not failed to learn morals and rules.

I am indeed a flawed human being. I can only conclude that. Perhaps there has not been a single change in me from childhood to the present.

“I… I am still lingering in that slum.”

It had been a long time since the slums disappeared and peace came with the new emperor’s ascension. But it was shameful that only I remained in the vanished slums. I resented myself for not even realizing the motives behind my actions.

Serin would say it’s okay.

Because she is a good person.

Even if she is harassed in the palace, she maintains a brave personality.

She is not compatible with someone covered in mud and ashes like me.

As soon as I became aware of my situation, my chest tightened. It was a very strange feeling. If expressed in colors, it would be a deep, dark indigo, and a dizzying russet. I did not want to know the colors of this world. I would rather return to monochrome.

The man who had been watching me for a long time seemed to easily notice that I was strange. When I disappeared for three days after returning to the mercenary headquarters, he forcibly opened the door and came looking for me, staring at me with suspicious eyes.

“What have you been doing here for the past few days?”

“I don’t know.”

“I told you to avoid saying ‘I don’t know.’ Find a way to answer somehow.”

“…”

Roderick looked down at me, who was crouched in the corner with my arms crossed. I deliberately avoided his gaze.

“I don’t know” was not an acceptable answer. It was a kind of promise between us.

Roderick had always taught me while laying the foundation of the mercenary group. In the process, he always asked me questions. Like Serin on a journey.

What emotions are you feeling now, what thoughts come to mind when you see that, what action should be taken at this time, his questions were diverse.

It was an attempt to correct me, who was far from normal in anything. To instill the concepts of morality and discipline and learn mediocrity.

I think I did the job of a normal parent and teacher at the same time. It was inevitable that Roderick, who had done that, would keenly notice my condition.

“Let me ask you this, are these the kind of worries I can handle?”

“No, Roderick, you can’t.”

“Then you?”

“I… can’t handle it any more.”

“Is it about the princess?”

“…”

“Speak up.”

“I don’t want to answer.”

“What?”

Roderick’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. Whatever was so surprising, he seemed to forget about it for a while.

“Well, well, so the rebellious phase that didn’t come in your teens is finally here?”

“It’s not a rebellious phase.”

“What do you mean? Have you been hiding something from me all this time?”

“It just… happened now.”

“Well, well, that could happen.”

Roderick let out a wry smile, but somehow his laughter seemed hollow. Then, he posed a serious question with a solemn attitude.

“Everything’s fine, but you need to clarify this. Are there any concerns that could harm the mercenary group?”

“No. There shouldn’t be.”

“Alright then. Let’s not press further. Everyone has a secret they can’t share, it’s just a common human trait.”

“Is it common though? This?”

“At least it’s far from abnormal.”

“I see…”

I nodded in realization. Roderick then slowly approached and sat down right next to me. After a few moments of silence, he awkwardly opened his mouth.

“Even though you seem troubled, it was quite a satisfying journey, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“What kind of person was the princess?”

“A good person. Very much so.”

“Specifically?”

“She’s really good at doing the dishes.”

“… What?”

Roderick raised a question mark above his head, but I ignored it and continued my explanation.

“Sometimes she’s rough and domineering… but I didn’t mind. She’s good at fighting too, so she can gather our mercenary group in no time and no one would stand a chance against us.”

“Well… she’s the daughter of a man who used to tear apart monsters in the uncivilized lands beyond the North. It’s in her blood. Not as much as you, though.”

“She’s a strange person.”

“Choosing such disrespectful words.”

Roderick smirked and I continued to dig into the past with him by my side.

“She kept trying to steal my mask whenever she had the chance, it was exhausting.”

“If a monster with that physique is eyeing your mask, it’s not just exhausting.”

“She even tried to break into my room by climbing a rope.”

“Just a regular crime, huh?”

“I yelled at her for the first time.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“How terrifying must the situation have been.”

“She barged into my room without knocking while I was unmasked.”

“… And then what did you do?”

This time, even Roderick swallowed his chuckle and listened intently. I added more details to reassure him.

“Since my bed was right next to me, I jumped in and flipped the blanket over myself.”

“There’s no shortage of comedy here.”

“But then she tried to snatch it with the blanket.”

“And then?”

“I ran to the table with the mask still on the blanket.”

“Like a child.”

“There was no other way.”

“Haha, I see.”

Our conversation went on and on, with one story leading to another. Despite it being just a short journey, I had so many stories to share. My everyday life with Serin was so colorful that it naturally turned me, a man with no storytelling skills, into a storyteller.

“Now, let’s briefly talk about the matter at hand.”

“Hmm? Go ahead.”

“Make a contract with Lorden Viscount at the lowest possible price.”

“Got it.”

“You won’t question anything?”

“If the mercenary group owner commands, I must follow. Unless it leads to the complete ruin of our operations.”

“I see.”

One of Roderick’s strengths was his clear distinction between tasks. In fact, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call him the real leader of the group. I acknowledged that, but the priority in decision-making always fell on me.

“Remember. You’re not just a discarded child anymore, you’re the owner of the empire’s top mercenary group.”

“Got it.”

“Well, when you put it all together, you and the princess are not lacking in strength compared to Lorden Viscount’s mercenaries… They’re tough guys with a strong backbone, so they’ll be more useful than an ordinary knight order.”

“Yes. I felt that this time.”

It would be embarrassing to compare Lorden Viscount’s mercenaries with Roderick’s shoulder-only stature. Therefore, helping Lorden Viscount, who had security gaps, would be a great support for Serin.

As I reminisced about the night with Lorden Viscount, Roderick, apart from his business with Lorden Viscount, shared another story with me.

“Come to think of it, I should have mentioned this first… Countess Elenotte has come looking for you.”

“Eshutiel?”

“Yes, that one. She was sitting next to the tasteless royal concubine, learning strange things.”

“It’s troublesome to learn bad things.”

“If you know, you should bring her back quickly.”

“Hmm… I guess I should go see her first.”

“I knew you would say that, so I called her over here in advance.”

Rodrick was like a prophet. Because as soon as his words ended, the door opened frighteningly, revealing sparkling light blue eyes.

Bang!

The air circulated between the outside and inside, bringing in a cool breeze. Strands of white hair fluttered in the gentle movement of the air. The little girl, full of mischief and confidence, ran towards us as soon as she spotted us.

“Reehart oppa!”

“It’s not Reehart, it’s Reehardt.”

“Reehut.”

“Reehardt.”

“Reehalt?”

“… Sure, let’s go with that.”

“Okay, Reehart oppa.”

Eshutiel finally accepted the mispronunciation until the end.

Reehardt. That was my superficial name as the leader of the mercenary group. I had grown accustomed to being called Rean in a short time, even feeling awkward to hear and say it.

I asked Eshutiel, with her sparkling eyes, about the matter.

“Why are you here, Eshutiel?”

“I came to brag.”

“About what?”

“I can write in my diary now.”

“Impressive.”

“Yes, can I go to the academy now?”

“If you correct your pronunciation, maybe.”

“When is that?”

“Well, let’s ask Rodrick.”

At my words, Eshutiel’s head turned quickly in Rodrick’s direction. Then, with a look of longing, she sent an unspoken plea to Rodrick with her twinkling eyes.

Of course, to the ruthless Rodrick, it was a useless trick.

“For a brat like you, it’ll take a few years.”

“Rodrick, death penalty!”

“Look at this, did I say I have to separate this brat from that damn knight for no reason?”

“… Yes, indeed.”

I thought Rodrick was just bluffing, but he had grown into a tyrant beyond imagination, Eshutiel. Even if Rodrick tried his best to take her away, I could understand why…

“Why does Reehart oppa get it and I don’t?”

“He’s already at the level where he should go from being a student to a professor, kid. If you can pronounce the name correctly, we can talk again.”

“So if I learn from Reehart oppa, I’ll get it quickly, right? Is that right?”

“Let’s do that.”

When I agreed, the reactions of the two reversed. Eshutiel cheered, while Rodrick sighed.

“You’re too lenient with the kid.”

“Eshutiel is fine.”

“Anyway, how did this happen…”

“Reehart oppa, you’re the best of the best of the best!”

“If Eshutiel says so, then it must be true.”

I lightly lifted Eshutiel, who was floating in the air, into my arms. As I did, a pure smile appeared on her face.

“Hehe.”

Eshutiel let out a happy laugh. I repeated my usual advice to the lively girl.

“Eshutiel, you can tell me anything you want at any time. So if there’s something you want to do, don’t hold back and tell me.”

“Yes!”

“That’s right.”

I gently stroked Eshutiel’s head as she gave a confident reply. She was a special girl in a different way from Serin.

Eshutiel Elenotte, the Countess of the Fallen Blade.

The last bloodline surviving from the family known as the Phantom’s Sword.

She was the child born of my sin.