episode_0015
by admin“Are you feeling unwell?”
That’s what my wife said to me.
Actually, I didn’t feel bad.
That would be the case, although he did say that his chest hurt, it wasn’t a very bad pain.
It was as if he was jumping for joy.
“No.”
‘There’s no way I can be really happy.’
These were some emotions brought about by memories that had been ignored for a long time. Joy, dependence, and various other feelings and emotions.
They came up one by one, drop by drop.
-‘That’s because I’m here. You met me and brought me out. That’s your fault.’
‘Why is that thanks to you?’
Isn’t it natural that you don’t understand? Even though he said things like “another me”, that didn’t mean he had the capacity to convey his feelings.
-‘I ate those emotions so that you could maintain a shred of humanity.’
‘… Wait, so you’re saying that part of the emotion belongs to you?’
-‘That’s what it is.’
It took me a while to understand what it was saying, but if at least he was protecting my ‘humanity’, then the unchanging truth was that it was the voice that was telling me that I shouldn’t do things like suicide.
“… . I want to continue to do martial arts in the future, what do you think?”
“Are you talking about something like Dalian?”
“Yeah. Sometimes I need someone to do that with.”
It was a sudden remark. It wasn’t something I didn’t understand. The sparring with Madam was definitely becoming a good training method for me.
If I could become stronger and easily give myself the death I desire, there would be nothing better than that.
“Okay.”
“Madam, if that’s the case, then there are other knights besides this child-”
“Did you say you were the room manager of room number 1?”
“Yes.”
“I’m talking to Lee Yeon right now, so please step aside for a moment.”
So, the host left the room.
Lately, I had a feeling that it wasn’t my imagination that the room leader’s behavior seemed strange.
I didn’t care about that person for the first two years I met him, so why did he change so much?
Only you know the reason.
I wanted to take a break now, because my body was hurting.
-‘Of course I did, after all the hardships I endured!’
‘… .’
-‘What! Why! Why are you looking at me like that!’
Anyway, I really wanted to rest.
“Anyway, Yeon-ah. I want to spar with you like last time… Is that okay?”
“Yes, that doesn’t matter.”
His eyes are slightly closed. At this level, it seems like he’s falling asleep while talking.
“Thank you… . But, are you sleepy?”
“Yes… I’m a little sleepy.”
“Okay, then I’ll go now. I’ll tell the host about what I said.”
“Okay.”
She got up like that and made a show of leaving the room.
Then,
“… . Dalian, thank you for doing it.”
-Squeak… . Click.
-Suddenly.
“Haaa… .”
-Gulp.
It felt like the strength in my legs was leaving.
When talking to my child, I had to try to suppress my emotions.
‘Yeon-i doesn’t run wild.’
Even though I knew my child wouldn’t do it anymore, it was more important not to bring it up.
If Yeon-i saw that and realized that I was afraid of her, she might distance herself from me even more.
I couldn’t say that nothing happened. In my eyes, the child still looked like he was going to turn into a white tiger.
It was so scary. I know. This child hasn’t changed since then. What hasn’t changed is a fact. It’s an unchanging truth.
However, at some point, the child will use his power again, and if he does, he will go wild again.
I heard that it was a special training to acquire the ability for that. However, that scene was still vivid and vivid in my mind. My husband, no matter what kind of evil or disaster came, he would break it all down and stand there alone.
It was the first time I had seen someone get hurt that badly.
That was how strong Lee Yeon’s ability was, so his words were no different from being proven. If that’s the case, I should be angry, but why am I so scared?
The answer was simple.
Lee Yeon’s anger, that child’s anger. The kind heart that gave the target of war the death he wanted even after being so despised and bullied.
Could it be headed towards us?
That vague fear created a distance in my relationship with my child.
The child didn’t seem to know that yet.
If that was a blessing, it was a blessing, but if my heart ached, it hurt.
In the end, I was wrong and he was right. When I think about it, that’s true. He had always been excellent in skill and ability to control knights on the battlefield.
The reason he was good at leading and strategizing was because he was not good at those things.
“Knowing that, how could you be so stupid as to deny everything he said… .”
Regardless of whether a child’s ability is strong or not, the child should grow up as an ordinary person. This idea itself does not change. But then what was right?
He had already decided all of that when I was sick and had the baby.
It is a serious crime to escape by stealing the direct lineage of the Grim Reaper, and is punishable by death. Furthermore, the child would have learned very late how to handle his powers.
While the child was away, no one would know him properly except me, and there was no other country besides this one.
Even if it exists, it would be fortunate if the pseudo-religious people who consider liquid sacred do not dissect Lee Yeon-i.
In addition, one of the characteristics of the Sashinsu that I learned while marrying Gaju is that they tend to become stronger as they age.
If you learn how to handle your abilities slowly, you would have caused your current runaway to be even more severe. That is why learning how to handle abilities from a young age is meant to be a process of adjustment so that your abilities, which have grown to be enormous, do not runaway later on when you get older.
“So, I was thinking of running away after the child learned the ability… .”
-Keep going.
That wasn’t possible anymore.
If so, then at least you should have been taught how to protect your body completely and perfectly.
Besides, the death that the child desires… At least I can change it by teaching him how to use the sword. It’s what the child desires, but either way, it’s not a good thing.
Giving a comfortable death to an opponent in battle is ultimately something that can only be done by someone who is much stronger than the opponent. Even if a kite is strong enough to blow that person away with one blow, you never know when or where something might happen.
So, at least until that kid gets strong enough to beat me in a duel.
Until then, I just want to see that child by my side.
That was my wish.
“… . Now, I have to go… .”
I also need to tell that room manager a story.
“I disagree.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I am saying that I am against continuing to educate Yeon-i in that way.”
“This is something that cannot be changed. Besides, what I did was unskilled. It is not the way to handle abilities.”
“Our collateral line…! We don’t have that kind of ability, and now we’re at a level where we can only transform. But, Yeon-i is not! Yeon-i is an illegitimate child.”
“… .”
That’s what I wanted to say, but it was something I always got stuck on.
“It is the Lord’s decision. And, as far as I know, you also said that you ignored this child when he was young.”
Even so, it was easy to plant someone inside who could hear the servants’ every move.
“… . The new incident that caused the child to quickly become an idiot was also something you ordered.”
“… !”
I guess you never thought you’d know this much.
“Yeah, I know. I feel the same way. Children shouldn’t grow up like that. They shouldn’t be raised to have their emotions killed, abused, and just used for their powers. ”
“… Then-”
“But didn’t you see it too? What happens when Yeon-i runs wild?”
“… .”
“I also want to try a different way. I want to go to a different country, and I want to take Yeoni and somehow choose a different way. But don’t you know that some people grow stronger as they get older, and even if they’re small, they turn into normal-sized beasts?”
“… Then… .”
“At least until he learns his abilities, that’s what I’m saying. And by the time he learns his abilities, he’ll be 9 or 10 years old… .”
“You’ve already been appointed as a full-time knight.”
“Yes, Yeon-i has outstanding abilities.”
If it got that far, I would have gone to deal with the liquid before I could do anything.
Already, there was no way to use hands, no way to use hands. There was nothing at all.
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