episode_0014
by fnovelpia“Father Lucio. What are you doing?”
I turned my head. Helena smiled playfully and poked my ribs.
“Helena.”
“Are you reading a strange book again?”
“What a strange book… .”
I closed the book I was reading. The rough leather cover had the title, ‘101 Actions for Positive Thinking’ engraved on it.
“Look. It’s a strange book.”
“It’s surprisingly fun. Do you want to read it too?”
“Phuhut… . Okay.”
He placed the book on the old table. Helena was already lighting a match and smoking a cigarette.
“I told you to quit smoking.”
“It’s my only joy~. Oh, the match broke.”
Fire, the first grace of God, did not come to Helena immediately. Only the cruel marks of repeated rubbing remained on the friction surface of the matchbox.
“Really… . They say you have to use three or four matches to light a cigarette?”
“Because it’s humid… . But it’s fortunate that the rain stopped.”
“It was so gross. The ground was full of mud, and the trenches were filled with stagnant water… . Phew… .”
“The soldiers must have had a hard time.”
“We didn’t have a hard time, did we?”
That’s right. I also volunteered to do trench repair work with Helena, and I remember getting covered in mud from head to toe.
“… When will the war end?”
“Sup— Phew… Will it ever end?”
The cigarette smoke that came out of Helena’s mouth slowly dispersed outside the shelter-like structure. I glanced outside the structure. Dark clouds were busily moving across the sky.
“Is it going to rain?”
“They said the weather would be clear today?”
“Who else said that? Bohrmann?”
“Mr. Bohrman.”
“No matter how I look at it, that kid is really bad at weather observation. He’s never had the weather right.”
“It’s surprising that Mr. Bormann was chosen as an observer.”
Phew—.
Suddenly the wind changed. This time, Helena’s cigarette smoke was carried by the wind and directed towards me. I frowned.
“Can you stop smoking?”
“Father Lucio. I’ve always wondered, why do you hate cigarettes so much? And alcohol too.”
“On the contrary, I would like to ask. Do you, a priest, smoke cigarettes so heavily?”
Helena snorted. She took a deep drag on her cigarette without paying attention, then, whoosh—.
“Avoid smoking and drinking. There is no such phrase in the doctrine. So, isn’t it okay?”
“… Yeah. If you like it, then it’s fine. ”
We were silent for a while. Helena smoked a cigarette quietly, looking at the smoke, and I poured myself some of the black tea I had been saving.
“Black tea, you drink it a lot these days. I think you used to like sweet things.”
“You know. Cocoa is hard to get these days. I just drink it to soothe my mouth.”
“I drink it often, so maybe Father Lucio’s taste is just right for me?”
Helena drank black tea often. She liked its bitter and deep flavor. To me, it was just a cheap, bitter, mass-produced black tea.
Even I, like that, became more and more addicted to black tea.
“No, that’s not true. I just think that this kind of thing is okay these days.”
In fact, she was right. I drank it often because Helena recommended it, and before I knew it, I was influenced by Helena. My tastes, my values, my thoughts.
“Would you like a drink too?”
He took out another tea bag and asked Helena. Helena smiled and answered.
“Phew… . Yes. Please.”
That smile, that faint grin with the corners of the lips slightly raised. I liked that smile.
It’s not a forced smile, nor a smile out of insanity, but a natural smile filled with small happiness. A pretty smile with slightly dimpled dimples and a hint of blush on her pale cheeks.
That was good. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because I was so crazy. In a war zone, you can only laugh if you force yourself to laugh, or laugh out of your mind.
But I definitely liked her smile.
He handed Helena a cup of well-brewed black tea. Helena asked as she took the cup.
“What about sugar?”
“You don’t like sweet things. Should I put some in it?”
“No. Please. Thank you.”
Helena hated sweet food. I remember that she sometimes gave me all the cocoa that was served as a side dish.
We sipped our tea in silence. Mine didn’t taste like much, thanks to the few sugar cubes in it.
“… Write.”
“I use it.”
But it still tasted bitter. Bitter things just didn’t suit my taste. I looked at Helena, who was enjoying her tea and cigarettes alternately.
“… Cigarettes, what do they taste like?”
“Oh, are you interested in cigarettes?”
Helena covered her mouth with her hand and began to tease me. I snickered and took another sip of the bitter tea.
“Just curious.”
“Hmm… . What should I say it tastes like… .”
Helena took a deep drag of her cigarette smoke and paused for a moment. I looked at her, wondering what she was going to do.
Pong. Pong. Pong.
A donut-shaped puff of smoke rose out, and inside it, smaller donuts continued to fall. I stared blankly at the sight.
Looking at me like that, Helena smiled playfully.
“This kind of taste?”
“… What is that.”
“Ahahaha… . It just tastes like regular cigarettes. With a slight minty scent.”
As she said that, Helena handed me the cigarette she had been smoking.
“Would you like to spread it out?”
“… … .”
The cigarette was a little mushy, perhaps because it had been in Helena’s mouth. I hesitated for a moment before putting the cigarette in my mouth.
“That’s right. Put it in your mouth and suck it in slowly.”
“With your mouth?”
“Yes. With your mouth.”
Sigh— Phew… .
A puff of cigarette smoke rose. Helena smiled bashfully as she watched me.
“How are you?”
“Um… .”
Again, suck in. Exhale.
“… Not bad.”
“Right?”
A peppermint scent with a spicy and bitter aftertaste. Not bad.
Helena pushed her blonde hair behind her ear and took the cigarette I had asked for. Helena’s lips gently covered the cigarette in my mouth.
I turned my head slightly.
“… … .”
The taste of the first cigarette I smoked remains vivid in my memory.
No matter how desperately you try to erase it, it is so strong that it cannot be erased.
“Father Lucio.”
“Huh?”
Helena, who had been smoking, picked up her black tea this time. I looked back at her as I added another piece of sugar to my black tea.
“You know I was an academy professor, right?”
“That’s right… . Didn’t you say you were a professor before coming here?”
“Yes. Actually, I’m a bit of a great person?”
Helena smiled mischievously again. I smirked at her.
“Yeah. Great. Priest Helena is the best. Long live.”
“Really… . I worked at an academy so famous that everyone would know the name?”
“Hmm… Where is that?”
This time, Helena lit a cigarette. She placed her teacup down on the table and took a deep drag on her cigarette.
“Um… It’s a secret.”
“What?”
As my expression became strange, Helena burst out laughing.
“Ahahaha…! Look at the priest’s expression!”
“Oh my… .”
“Haha… . I’m joking. I’m joking. Father Lucio. Relax. I was wrong.”
Actually, I wasn’t that angry. I quickly relaxed my expression and sipped the slightly sweet tea.
“Why did you volunteer for the war when you were a professor at such a famous academy? Educators weren’t supposed to be drafted.”
“Ahaha… . That’s right.”
There was silence for a moment. Inside the room, only the sound of Helena drinking her tea and me fiddling with my teacup could be heard.
“… Is it because I am stupid by nature?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“Everyone around me said that it was a stupid decision. Why would you do something like that? Why would you go to a dangerous battlefield?”
Helena smiled bitterly. I stared at her blankly.
“One day, a theology student I really cared about… . said he was dropping out. I asked him why he would do something like that. And he said… .”
“… Then what?”
“His father died in battle, so his family was in financial difficulty… He said he couldn’t pay for school… So he volunteered for the relief mission and said he would feed his mother and younger siblings… That’s what he said.”
“… … .”
“Hehehe… Even though I told him to stop, that student ended up going to war. But I couldn’t just watch like an idiot while my students went to war on their own…?”
I waited silently for her to speak. But even after a long time, she did not continue speaking.
Helena looked up. Her eyes were bright red. I didn’t ask why.
“I stopped the student until the end. Why would he do such a stupid thing? It was a stupid decision. But, Father Lucio.”
The cigarette hanging from her fingertips slowly trembled. As she lowered her head, I carefully patted her on the back.
“What I said to that student, doesn’t it sound familiar?”
“Helena.”
“Isn’t that weird? I said it was stupid, and I did something stupid myself.”
Helena laughed like an idiot, her mouth hanging open and her eyes sparkling.
“Anyway, that’s why I came here.”
I handed Helena a handkerchief without saying a word. It was a pure white handkerchief that I always kept clean, even when my clothes got dirty and I rolled in the mud.
Helena carefully took the handkerchief and dabbed away her tears. A transparent flower bloomed on the handkerchief.
Helena, who had been wiping away her tears for a moment, then handed the handkerchief back to me and asked.
“Hmm… Father Lucio, you are well-versed in theology, right?”
“Well, somehow… . When you serve as a deacon in a rural village, the only thing you have to do is study theology.”
“Kids like it too.”
“Right?”
Helena smiled faintly. Like a tragic heroine, with a feeble smile.
“If I can’t return to the Academy later, even after the war is over… . Father Lucio, would you take charge of the theology department?”
“… Don’t say things like that, even as a joke.”
“If you’re not joking?”
I put my teacup down with a clank. This time I was a little angry. But Helena continued talking regardless.
“Father Lucio. I… . I, my students are so precious.”
“… … .”
“Is it because I was abandoned at birth? Because I was an orphan? Is that why I crave affection?”
“Not so… .”
“No. That’s right. That’s why I value my students so much. I’m most grateful to the Academy for accepting me.”
Priest Helena looked at me earnestly. I met her eyes.
“So, Father Lucio, please promise me one thing.”
Her green eyes, filled with tears, were beautiful. They were as clear as an emerald, and they reflected my entire appearance like a mirror, captivating my heart.
“If I can’t return after the war, you will take over the theology department in my place.”
So, so… what I want to say is.
“… I promise.”
I couldn’t refuse.
That’s all.
* * * * *
“… … .”
My eyes opened on their own. I slowly got up.
“Here is… .”
My voice cracked. At the same time, I felt a strong thirst that made my face wrinkle. I slowly looked around the room.
My room. It’s my room. I was lying on the bed in my room.
The faculty dormitory of the Chaldea Imperial Academy, which had become familiar to me by now. I blankly stared at the familiar scenery of that room.
“My, my arm… .”
I felt my right arm. The right arm that had been cramping so badly was calm. The pain also seemed to have gone away.
Then, that finger. What about the bloody finger of Father Giovanni?
I looked around. On the nightstand next to the bed, there was a note and something wrapped in cloth. I slowly unfolded the carefully folded note.
– Priest, I’ll go check on the market. If you wake up, don’t go out and stay at home.
“Deacon Sophia… .”
A snicker came out of my mouth. I could feel the harsh tone in the note. I tried to block my body.
I unwrapped the thing wrapped in cloth. Now I saw that it wasn’t cloth, but a belt. And it seemed to belong to Deacon Sophia.
I untied the bandage, and there was a twisted finger inside, the same one I had seen before. I wrapped the finger back in the bandage.
Just like with my fingers, I lifted the glass of water that was on the table.
It was still filled with cool water. It seemed that Deacon Sophia had prepared this as well. I drank the water in one gulp.
The cold water flowed down my throat. After my intense thirst was quenched, strangely enough, I felt a strong urge to smoke a cigarette.
I opened the drawer attached to the desk and took out the pack of cigarettes inside.
“… mast.”
He headed to the balcony with a cigarette in his mouth, left alone.
I leaned against the railing. It was close to noon, and I could hear the lively laughter of students.
When I struck a match in the matchbox, there was a snapping sound and the match broke.
“… … .”
I stared at the match for a long time. A really, really long time.
He took a match out of the matchbox again and lit it. The match, which was close to the end of the cigarette, burned quickly.
“Ssup… . Hoo… .”
I concentrated on smoking a cigarette quietly. The sight of the cigarette ash flying into the air one by one and disappearing faintly was incredibly depressing.
“… is used.”
The scent of tobacco that filled my lungs was bitter and refreshing.
It was a familiar peppermint scent.
0 Comments