episode_0014

The night in February was cold.

I carried my daughter.

I felt the touch of my daughter’s cold skin on my back in my two hands.

My daughter is weak to the cold as she is thin…

My daughter is an adult, but she is still someone I need to protect.

“Sniff…Dad…you don’t have to do this…”

After entering high school, my daughter started speaking informally to me.

I thought it was better for a father-daughter relationship to be like friends, so I was happy to see such a change in my daughter.

However, there was a time when my daughter spoke to me with respect.

It was when my daughter did something wrong to me.

My daughter was nervous and trembling.

I was the only one who could free my daughter like that.

“This is what dad should do.”

I picked up the top that was thrown at my daughter and covered it for her.

Because I was so big, the clothes were enough to cover her entire body.

“Dad unintentionally forced me.”

“Dad……”

“Dad, it was okay for my daughter to wear whatever clothes she wore…”

“……”

“I’m sorry, daughter.”

“……If you apologize like that…”

There was still something in my daughter’s mind that I didn’t know about.

My daughter placed her face on my back again.

“…I hate you.”

“Okay. Hate as much as you want. Because I did something that made my daughter hate me.”

I went indoors again.

A few people glanced at us.

There were also people whispering.

This time, my daughter seemed to hear it too.

“…Put me down.”

“Why?”

“Those people looked at my dad and called him a pervert.”

“…It’s okay.”

“Dad… I don’t like it. It looks like that.”

“I’m just more worried about Mina’s cold body.”

“……”

Mina clings to my body.

It was as if my daughter’s body and my body had merged, as if blocks had been placed correctly.

“Warm.”

“Thank goodness.”

“Thank you, Dad.”

“Take a break.”

My daughter and I went to the amusement park.

I went to the store and changed my clothes.

“It’s okay now. I’ll walk.”

We went to the parking lot and got into the car.

There was a strange feeling of silence between us.

I got into the car.

I left the parking lot.

I rode the city highway.

Is it because of the suddenly cold weather?

There weren’t that many cars.

“I’m sorry, Dad.”

The daughter’s voice was heavy and full of regret.

“Dad didn’t even think so, but I was alone……”

It seemed like he still had the incident at the amusement park in his mind.

I held my daughter’s hand.

My daughter’s hands would get cold whenever she was embarrassed or had a problem.

“Daughter’s hands are so cold. Can you give me your other hand?”

“Yes……”

Minah placed her hand in mine.

“Dad, squeeze my hand. Because daddy’s hands are warm.”

Come on.

Minah holds my hand without saying a word.

“I want my dad to be like this.”

“…Hot pack?”

“Foot…! Don’t do that.”

At that moment, I burst out laughing at my daughter’s words.

My daughter smiled a little when she saw me like that.

“Someone who wants to help my daughter when she needs it.”

“……”

“Dad doesn’t want to force his daughter. From before until now. That thought has never changed.”

“……”

My daughter lifted my hand and brought it to her face.

“Do whatever your daughter wants to do. Dad will always have your back as always.”

“…Thank you, Dad.”

This time my hands feel moist.

It seemed like my daughter was crying again.

“Dad…was so generous from the beginning…but this ugly daughter foolishly misunderstood her father…”

“Minah…Minah……”

My daughter’s crying began to get louder little by little.

iced coffee.

But it’s a highway.

It doesn’t get pushed around.

Daughter… Minah calms down quickly when you hug her.

But now I’m driving.

Even taking a glance at my daughter is burdensome.

I need to hug you.

That’s how it should be…

Come on.

My daughter wrapped her arms around my right arm.

“Dad, I love you.”

Bury your face into my shoulder.

The red heat from her face started to instantly warm my shoulders.

“Dad loves my daughter too.”

“A little…different…”

“Before and now, there is nothing different.”

“……”

Once again, the daughter buries her face.

“It’s not enough.”

“Huh…?”

“This time I realized that the love I gave my dad was definitely not enough.”

My daughter’s voice was determined.

There is no need to be that determined.

Minah is my daughter.

I can do everything for my daughter.

From the past until now, that thought has not changed.

love.

I love Minah.

That’s why I can endure my life.

Why is Mina like that?

Is the love I give not enough?

Do I feel like I’m not good enough because I’ve made my daughter feel sad?

“I’m sorry. Daughter…dad, there were a lot of things that made you sad, right? If you have any regrets, please tell me. Dad will fix it.”

“That’s not it. Dad.”

“Then…what is it?”

My daughter was silent for a long time.

He seemed to be thinking about something.

“I guess we didn’t understand each other’s meaning, Dad.”

“So…so?”

“Dad. Will you stay by my side forever?”

It is biologically impossible.

There is no way for a woman to outlive her daughter, except if she dies first.

But that may not be what my daughter meant.

It probably means that he wants me to stay by his side as much as I can.

“Okay then. Dad will forever be on Minah’s side.”

“Cook…”

“Why are you smiling?”

“Dad can’t lie.”

“What…what lie?”

I didn’t understand again.

“No. Just think of it as talking to yourself.”

The daughter laughed.

And then it got serious again and again.

It seemed like it was time to do something more.

“My daughter…do you need anything? Now…I’ll have to buy a cell phone again as a smartphone…and…”

“Let’s sleep together today.”

“Huh?”

I was embarrassed for a moment.

Shall we sleep together?

suddenly?

why?

Sleeping with my daughter.

It continued until middle school.

[Dad… I’m scared… In my dream… So… Ugh!!]

I still can’t forget the memory of trying to put my elementary school child to sleep separately.

My daughter came out of her sleep and cried because she said she had a nightmare.

I became addicted to the sight of the child who cried like that falling asleep in a warm embrace next to me.

But as the child grew older, a problem arose.

The child has become too mature.

When I was in my third year of middle school, I once said that I thought it was time to sleep separately.

But the daughter stubbornly refused.

He protested that he had to sleep with his father.

I couldn’t help it.

There is no father who can beat his daughter.

So I had no choice but to sleep with my daughter, who was in her third year of middle school.

I didn’t want to show my daughter a bad situation, so I resolved the issue by relaxing and sleeping.

Thanks to this, I was very tired in the morning… but I didn’t end up in a terrible situation.

But I was worried.

As your child progresses to high school, he or she will become more mature.

Can I survive that?

Can I hold out?

When I was worried about that, fortunately my daughter changed her mind.

[Dad, I will sleep alone now. Please change just one bed to a larger one.]

I asked because I was curious why a child who said he would sleep with his father even if he died suddenly changed that way.

My daughter’s answer was truly impressive.

[I was worried because my dad’s dark circles were getting worse these days.

When I thought about it carefully, it seemed like my dad felt uncomfortable sleeping with me.]

My daughter said she was giving in because I was tired.

Of course…there was another reason why I was tired, but I couldn’t explain it.

It was fortunate.

Thanks to that, I was able to sleep comfortably ever since my daughter entered high school.

The dark circles also disappeared.

[Dad, the dark circles are gone.]

Daughter smiling.

It was a smile that told him he had made the right choice.

My daughter was now asking me to sleep with her.

“Just for today… Let’s sleep together just for today. I need dad’s body temperature.”

thank god.

The plan was to sleep together just for today.

“Okay…I understand. If my daughter wants…”

“Dad.”

“Huh?”

“Dad, you’re hiding something from me, right?”

“What…what?”

no way?

Did your daughter…by any chance… notice what you do before going to bed?

“If you sleep with me, you won’t be able to sleep, right? Did I just toss and turn? That’s why you look so embarrassed?”

“……”

thank god.

My daughter completely misunderstood why I felt tired when I slept with her.

“I understand. When I wake up, the pillow is on the floor and there is no mess. That’s when I realized I had terrible sleeping habits.”

“Ah…yeah…that’s right. Actually, that was it.”

chin.

My daughter hugged me more energetically.

“But just for today. Please be patient for today, Dad. The congratulatory gift for being accepted to Korea University is to go to an amusement park today! How do you feel?”

“Is it good? It’s not a loss to my dad, so of course I should get it.”

Of course I will do more for my daughter.

I will make you get a driver’s license and buy you a car. I will also buy you high-end luxury bags…cosmetics…and smartphones.

But I won’t tell you that directly.

You will compensate little by little, as if slowly dropping water drop by drop on a wet pad.

“Yay, I’m excited!! Heehee”

Fortunately, my daughter brightened up a lot.

“Oh my! I want to drink too! Please teach me how to drink.”

“Okay. I’m tired today, so how about the weekend?”

“Yes dad!”

A child who has just become an adult.

A child who worked hard and suppressed his desires.

So, the child who achieved the best grades.

As a father, what you have to give to that child is a reward.

****

“Dad, I’m going to wash up and come out.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I’m in the master bathroom. The daughters went into the large bathroom and each washed their bodies.

For me and my daughter, the distinction between home and outside is quite severe.

Never live inside the house wearing clothes you wear outside.

When I get home, I always wash and change into my home clothes.

I did that and my daughter followed suit.

I thoroughly washed my body with body wash.

Fragrant bergamot scent.

It’s my favorite scent.

I washed up and changed into my pajamas.

It’s a bit hot, so even in winter, I wear pajamas made of thin fabric.

“Dad, have you finished washing? Can I come in?”

“Yes, yes.”

I guess my daughter also finished washing.

…uh?

“Daughter…you…”

“How about it? Pretty?”

My daughter came into my room wearing a black one-piece slip.

A slip that shows more than half of the thighs…and the cleavage.

…Something…wasn’t right.