episode_0014

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Humans all commit sins.

Unlike the perfect God, humans are imperfect beings, easily tempted, succumbing to impulses, and committing various sins.

Priests listen to the confessions of sinful humans.

The act of a human, a sinner, bowing before a priest, God’s representative, confessing their sins and reflecting.

Repentance, or confession, was no exaggeration to say it was the most beautiful part of religion.

As God’s representative, the priest had the authority to forgive their sins, and if the sin was great, they would willingly share in their atonement.

No matter how evil a sinner may be, if they confess and repent of their sins, the priest forgives their sins in God’s name and helps them repent.

Of course, that didn’t mean the priest’s authority was above worldly law.

Even if they have repented, they still receive legal punishment separately.

God loves humans unconditionally, but the law is a rule and condition to maintain society, meaning they respect each other’s domains.

In fact, that was one of the biggest differences between religion and law.

Human-made laws judge sins, but priests do not judge people’s sins.

The right to judge sins is only granted to God, and conscience is a compass towards God’s will.

This means that everyone should act righteously according to their conscience, and it is also a restriction that priests should not arbitrarily label others as sinners.

As a priest, I have lived with that doctrine in my heart.

Especially as an Exorcist Priest who lives mingling with demons, I often come into contact with those possessed by demons,

I only exorcise demons and try not to judge them hastily as much as possible.

In fact, there are examples like Lucia who are completely victims.

But…

“Please judge me…. Am I a bad child…? Because I gave my body to a demon… Can I not be forgiven?”

Lucia was asking me to judge her.

“Not God… But Father’s thoughts… I want to know…”

She was asking for my will, not God’s.

Lucia’s question made me feel breathless.

It’s actually a meaningless question.

She’s probably just worried about whether she’s offended me.

But for some reason, Lucia’s question felt very provocative to me.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a priest.

“…”

“Please… answer me.”

Lucia urged me to answer.

I thought I could feel a slight anxiety and urgency in her voice.

Why is that?

Why does she want to hear my judgment so much?

“Ha… Lucia.”

Of course, I’m a priest who’s spent my whole life fighting demons,

But even so, I’m not so lacking in social skills that I can’t understand Lucia’s appearance.

Lucia is worried that I might hate her.

She must be thinking that I, who have fought demons, might be wary of her, who has given her body to a demon.

Of course, I wasn’t thinking badly of Lucia at all.

I could fully understand and empathize with both her intentions and desires.

Silly girl,

She doesn’t need to be so anxious.

“Well, I…”

I stopped myself for a moment.

Is it right for me to answer?

Is that right?

As a priest, as the Monastery Head who must lead and protect them.

Is it right for me to judge whether she is guilty or not?

Of course, Lucia is just curious about how I see her.

But I couldn’t answer rashly.

If I answer carelessly without thinking, it might be a reply that defiles the doctrine.

Lucia is a good child,

A good child, but a child who will go to Hell.

And I am the person who must guide her so that she can escape Hell as much as possible.

That’s why I kept my mouth shut.

I can’t answer.

As a religious person, as Lucia’s guardian.

And even more so in a situation where Kunat, that son of a bitch, is watching.

“I don’t judge. Only God can judge whether there is guilt, whether there is good or evil.”

“… I see…”

Lucia’s face darkened slightly, and she slowly lowered her head.

Her shoulders, drooping down, trembled.

She looked like she was about to shed tears at any moment.

I hugged her again and said.

“But still, I can tell you one thing.”

“… Y-yes?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“…!”

Lucia’s shoulders flinched.

Then, the trembling that had spread from her shoulders to her whole body slowly began to subside.

I drew the sign of the cross on Lucia’s forehead with my thumb and continued.

“I don’t know what you were thinking, and I don’t know how desperately your desires wanted it.”

“…”

“That’s why I can’t judge you, and I don’t intend to.”

“I…”

“But, Lucia.”

“… Yes?”

“No matter what intentions and purposes you had, I won’t hate you.”

“.,.”

“Even if you handed your body over to the demon with evil intentions, I won’t hate you. I will forgive you, and I will find a way to atone for your sins together.”

Lucia’s body, held in my arms, became heavier.

She was leaning on me more and more.

Lucia burrowed into my arms and murmured.

“F… Father…”

“Yes.”

“… Thank you.”

“You’ve been through a lot of mental hardship.”

“Ugh… sob…”

I could hear sobbing from inside my arms.

I felt hot humidity soaking my chest.

I patted her head silently.

Did he read the atmosphere?

Kunat was also silently watching the swaying waves without saying anything.

＊

Anna and Sola had come out to greet us without fail this time as well.

Anna seemed greatly relieved that Lucia and I had returned safely, and Sola jumped for joy, greatly pleased with the food ingredients we had obtained.

Anna and Sola took the food ingredients and went up to the monastery first, and I was unloading the rest of the luggage from the boat.

At that time, Lucia approached hesitantly.

“Um… Father. Is there anything I can help with…?”

“Huh? Ah, no, go up and rest first. You had a hard day today.”

“…”

Lucia silently piled up the luggage unloaded from the boat and lifted it up in one go.

It was a weight that I would have had to carry in about three trips.

“I’ll do it… Hehe.”

“… Okay, thank you.”

Thanks to Lucia lifting most of the luggage, all I had to carry was a few small pouches.

I walked alongside Lucia, climbing the hill of the island.

I could have gone first, but I walked at her pace to guide Lucia, who would have difficulty seeing ahead because of the volume of the large luggage.

I offered to divide it several times, but Lucia smiled and shook her head.

“I even went so far as to give my body to a demon, so I should use it as much as I can, even if it’s just this much.”

“… I feel a little strange because it feels like I’m taking advantage of a young child.”

“Aww… I’m okay.”

“… Really, are you okay? Even if the weight is manageable, it’s too big and blocks your view. You might fall over.”

“Even if I fall over right now… I won’t get hurt at all… I think?”

“That’s… true, but…”

Lucia was silent for a moment, then cautiously opened her mouth again.

“If you’re so worried… Can you answer me now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve asked you several times already… What were you thinking about on the boat earlier?”

“Huh? Ah, that…”

I smiled.

“Lucia, you’re more persistent than I thought.”

“No… um… You haven’t told me anything… so I thought there might be something…”

“…”

The reason I was lost in thought on the boat was because various topics that I couldn’t narrow down to one were swirling chaotically in my head.

Among them, there was also the question of whether using the Devil’s power to defeat monsters was really a good thing for the world.

It was a topic that was difficult to come to a conclusion on at once, but the answer ‘no’ was still slightly more dominant in my mind.

However, I didn’t want to say something that seemed to deny Lucia now, after the conversation I had with her on the boat.

No, in the first place, I couldn’t even bring up such a topic in front of her.

That’s why I decided to gloss over it.

“Really. It’s nothing. My room’s window opens every time in the wind when I sleep? I happened to bring some nails today, so I’m going to try to fix it once.”

“Oh… Did you bring a hammer?”

“It’s okay. I can hammer in nails with my bare hands.”

“Wow…”

“… You can do it now too, can’t you?”

“Oh, I guess so. Hehe, then… shall I help you hammer in the nails later?”

“… No, it’s okay. I’ll do it alone…”

As we talked about this and that, we arrived at the monastery before we knew it.

Anna went into the kitchen, saying that she would be able to prepare a proper dinner for the first time in a while, and Sola and Lucia took the necessary items from the luggage and went inside.

I sorted out the remaining luggage and arranged it in the monastery warehouse.

Time flew by quickly as I had things to do.

As expected, the dinner Anna prepared was very excellent.

Sola put a lot of food in her mouth with an almost tearful expression, and Lucia and I chuckled at Sola.

Anna told Sola to maintain some decorum, but she couldn’t hide her pleased expression either.

After finishing the meal, I went straight back to my room.

First, I wanted to throw myself onto the bed right away, but I had to fix that damn window first.

I was taking out the nails I had prepared in advance when organizing the luggage.

At that time, Kunat, who had been waiting for me in the room, opened his mouth.

“Hey… Billy.”

“Ah,”

“… Ah?”

“Today was a pleasant dinner time for the first time in a long time. I would appreciate it if you didn’t ruin the mood.”

“… I don’t think I can do that.”

“Haa… What is it.”

I sighed, fixing the window’s hinge with the nails I had brought, and said.

Kunat also sighed and began to speak.

“I understand that you are a priest… I know that you have only fought with us all your life, but…”

“…?”

“Still, aren’t you too oblivious?”

“What is it, why are you suddenly picking a fight?”

I answered brusquely, fixed the dangling hinge, and pressed the nail against the groove with my thumb.

Kunat spoke to me with a dumbfounded tone.

“It’s about you.”

“…?”

“Didn’t you understand what that nun said?”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything.”

Lucia’s words?

Of course I understand.

I understand that giving her body to a demon is a sin that will send her to Hell, but wasn’t she worried that I would hate her because of that sin?

That’s why I clearly told her that I would not judge her or hate her.

It’s already a settled topic.

I shrugged and answered.

“Yeah, I understand?”

“Oh my,”

Kunat hit his forehead again.

What is it. Why is he doing that.

I was bothered by Kunat’s strange behavior, but I decided to ignore it and focus on fixing the window.

The Devil must be struggling to mess with my mind somehow.

In the first place, it was Kunat’s specialty to turn the human mind upside down with meaningful words, and I already knew that well.

I hammered in a couple more nails, then opened and closed the window.

After confirming that the window was no longer dangling, I roughly threw the remaining nails on the desk and looked at Kunat.

“What is it, what do you want to say.”

“… It’s nothing.”

“Ha, that’s right! You’re picking a fight.”

“… Let’s just say that…”

Kunat shook his head.

He’s so boring,

I ignored Kunat and closed the window and lay down on the bed.

The room was already filled with deep darkness.

A comfortable night had come, enough to feel a cozy atmosphere.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, fatigue poured in like a flood, pushing out the various thoughts that were making my head complicated.

Thanks to Lucia, there were no major incidents, but it wasn’t strange that I was tired since I had crossed the sea to and from in one day.

But from now on, it was something I had to get used to.

From now on, I would have to get the necessary items from outside myself.

There would be a limit to how long I could last with just the items from Mora Village.

As time goes on, I would have to go out and explore further, which also meant that I would have to spend more time outside.

I slowly took a breath and composed myself.

My eyelids were heavy, so I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them.

“… Huh, I must have been tired.”

It felt like I had only blinked,

But before I knew it, morning was dawning.

The sunlight coming through the window began to illuminate the room.

I slowly turned my head and looked at the window.

“…”

The window was open.