episode_0013

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Whether I should call it an excuse or something I can’t even convince myself of.

I was fully aware that the situation of me actively seeking out a man was completely unpleasant, yet inevitable.

Of course, mentally, I was far from calm.

After being assaulted, voluntarily seeking out a man for such a thing was something I absolutely did not want to do.

But I am a rational person.

If I thoroughly think about it rationally, I have no choice but to accept that this is an unavoidable situation.

What else can I do? Should I wait until my desire skyrockets due to being in heat and I end up having to satisfy it with even more people?

I am not someone who makes mistakes due to being swept away by emotions.

No, this is not an unavoidable situation. If one is capable of proper thinking, it is simply a matter of enduring something unpleasant for a while.

While I am someone who does what I want, if I must do something I dislike, I am not someone who ignores it and ends up suffering.

I am different from those foolish people.

Therefore, by holding onto my mental fortitude and enduring despite the discomfort, I am very rational, this is an unavoidable situation, and it is better to face it head-on if it’s inevitable.

…As expected, my mind is still in turmoil.

It feels like I am making excuses to myself, but I don’t even know what I want to say.

Vroom! Vroom!

I gripped the steering wheel tightly while listening to the engine’s exhaust sound inside the car. Was it a wrong choice to drive out? It feels strangely awkward, making driving uncomfortable and irritating.

The pressure on the accelerator is different, the position of the side mirror and visibility are different… I have adjusted everything, but I’m still driving, feeling that it’s not my original body, so even though I hear the pleasant engine sound, I can’t feel good.

No, calm down.

No matter how unpleasant and disgusting it is, I must calm down.

Cold in the head, cold in the chest.

I took a deep breath and checked the status screen on my smartphone that I had thrown on the passenger seat.

Desire: 49

![Heat (Weakened)]

(Slightly weakened state due to satisfaction from sex. Partial penalties locked. Impression value decreased. Remaining time 9 hours 48 minutes)

“Ugh, really…”

It’s annoying.

What did I do to change like this already? My desire is increasing at a considerably fast rate even without doing anything.

Once this weakened state is gone, the rate at which my desire increases even if I masturbate will be faster, and it won’t decrease.

The current value is somewhat lowered because I masturbated and brought it down a bit.

It doesn’t decrease with just a moderate climax; it only decreases when I truly feel and climax properly.

And because of that, the remaining time has decreased even more.

Masturbating in heat is like trying to scoop out overflowing water with a ladle.

It decreases somewhat, but the amount coming in gradually decreases; it can’t be completely eliminated.

Even though I know this, it’s still annoying.

I press the accelerator hard out of frustration.

With one hand leisurely holding the steering wheel, I repeat sudden stops and accelerations, making the surrounding cars cautiously avoid me as if I’m a lunatic.

Fortunately, I’m feeling a bit relieved by the fun of driving like this.

Sports cars are meant to be enjoyed like this.

It’s enjoyable to see the surrounding cars cautiously avoiding me.

Wait, come to think of it, what happens if I get into a traffic accident with this body?

I hadn’t even considered such an obvious fact.

As a man… I am someone who has no worries, established as a tax evasion tool for a fairly successful company, but as a woman, I have no insurance or anything.

Moreover, if I get into an accident with my car, it will be troublesome.

Park Ayoung, of course, had no ID, no contact information, nothing.

Cursing under my breath, I cautiously gripped the steering wheel with both hands, thinking that I couldn’t even drive properly to vent my frustration.

Arriving at my destination with a grinding sound, I got out of the car and placed the smart key on the seat.

After contacting the guy on social media, I realized a bit late that I had nothing to wear as a woman.

Not a single piece of clothing as a woman.

No proper underwear, no proper clothes.

Clothing is important.

No matter how pretty or beautiful you are, if you can’t dress properly, no one would want to deal with you.

Unless you have a mental illness, you will wear clothes, and clothes are the best means to show a person’s status and dignity.

Looking at it that way, my current state could be described as a woman wearing her boyfriend’s clothes at best, or simply a crazy woman at worst.

Wrapped in a large coat that was not suitable for the season, shoes that didn’t fit properly, leather slippers on my feet.

Inside the coat, I was wearing a t-shirt that belonged to a man when I was a man, and my underwear was men’s underwear.

After a quick shower, I didn’t even bother to dry my hair, just tucked it into a hat to make it look shorter, and wore sunglasses that could pass for a luxury brand.

If a woman like this were to be seen, no matter how pretty she is, I would pass.

It’s a stupid outfit that clearly reveals a lack of intelligence.

That’s why, although it was a bit of a hassle, I was parking my car at the premium mall I always visited to buy clothes.

It’s called a premium mall, but it’s just a department store.

A department store with lots of luxury brands.

As I got out of the car and left it parked haphazardly in the VIP parking lot registered under my car number and model, I could see the familiar staff looking puzzled.

Seeing a different woman getting out alone than the person they usually saw, they must have been surprised.

It was a bit annoying, but I deliberately showed the staff that I was familiar with this place and this kind of reaction.

“Hey, what’s up with you?”

“What?”

“Hey, are you kidding me? Why are you wearing that uniform? Do I have to point that out to you?”

Staff members are divided by their outfits.

The man in front of me may not know, but he was a staff member who escorted VIPs and provided convenience for shopping.

He looked at me in confusion, then belatedly regained his composure and bowed his head in greeting.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Please come in. Where would you like to park…?”

“Hey, you’re unbelievable. Figure it out yourself. Are you a newbie? No, right? I remember your face. Or what, do you not remember who I am, so you’re reevaluating someone you don’t remember?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll guide you right away. What brings you here today?”

“Clothes.”

As I wrapped myself in a coat that barely covered my ankles due to my diminished height, I was guided to the elevator in the exclusive passage.

An elevator that serves VIPs, allowing them to move between floors without waiting.

The staff still seemed a bit puzzled.

Well, it’s not like there are a lot of VIPs who receive this kind of treatment, so it must be surprising for someone who doesn’t know to see someone they know driving alone and acting like this.

If I were to receive this kind of treatment, I would just line up like normal people to make a purchase, but unfortunately, even now that I’ve become a woman, I can’t change my nature.

I detest the tedious task of personally searching for and buying clothes.

Why bother when you have money?

“Excuse me, could you tell me what kind of clothes you’re looking for?”

“Everything. From underwear to everything.”

“Just a moment…excuse me.”

Taking out a smartphone, the staff sent a message somewhere.

Probably sending the request to other staff members.

When the elevator arrived at a specific floor, I casually took out my wallet and handed over a card.

It was a VIP card, serving as both a payment and membership card.

The employee checked my card and then transformed into a completely professional demeanor, quietly guiding me.

“Do you have a preferred style in mind?”

“Except for anything feminine. Something comfortable.”

I didn’t even enter the store.

Once I entered a spacious waiting area on the highest floor of the shopping mall, I sat on the sofa and waited. The clothes I had ordered were brought to me. The latest collection of new items and a newsletter where I could check the latest trends from luxury brands were neatly arranged on the table in front of the sofa.

Beverages, alcoholic drinks, and snacks of a certain price range were served, and I could even call for a massage if I wanted. Of course, all of these services were free, even if they were paid for, I didn’t care.

Normally, I would have joked around with a woman next to me while waiting, but I couldn’t do that now. With a lot on my mind, I just sighed and lay down on the sofa, ordering the menu items that would refresh my mouth whenever I felt bad.

“A Daiquiri, frozen. And a Jamón Ibérico bocadillo.”

“You drove here yourself, should I call a driver for you?”

“Damn it, bring me a Shirley Temple instead of the Daiquiri.”

Being unable to drink alcohol was annoying, so I changed my order from a cocktail to a non-alcoholic one. I absentmindedly checked my pockets for cigarettes and then looked up, asking, “Hey, do you have a Bohem?”

“Would you like one?”

“Oh, turn on the ventilation.”

The shock of turning into a woman was so great that I hadn’t even thought about putting a cigarette in my mouth. No, had my body changed so much that I didn’t feel the addiction to smoking?

I didn’t worry about the cigarette smell bothering me when the luxury clothes were brought out to show me. After all, those care costs would all be charged.

Or I could just buy them. Well, if the staff showed the products from a little distance and explained them, the smell wouldn’t spread too much.

When I took out a cigarette, I signaled by tapping my chin instead of accepting it with my hand. She skillfully lit it for me, and I took a slight drag.

“Cough?! Cough! Cough! Cough! Ugh, ack!! Ugh!”

“What?! Are you okay?!”

And soon after, I coughed a lot, tears streaming down my face.

It’s spicy!

No, it’s too spicy. Is this crazy? Are you trying to kill me?

“Damn it, what is this! Cough, cough, ugh, ack, ack! This isn’t Bohem!”

“…I’m sorry. Did you mean Bohemsi?”

“…Yeah, damn it, forget it, get rid of it.”

…It seemed like the cigarette didn’t suit me anymore, beyond the fact that my body had never smoked before.

The smell I had once loved now felt repulsive.

As the snacks and cocktails were served right on time, I quickly drank them, and the unpleasant taste in my mouth disappeared in an instant.

And shortly after, the clothes started coming into the room one by one. The staff began showing the clothes and explaining them.

“This season’s trend color is red. Mixing materials is in style, so the first item you see now is from Prada…”

“Hey, don’t bother me like you’re explaining to a woman, let’s keep it casual. Got it?”

The employee’s expression became very strange at my words. It seemed like they were trying to feel the most absurd emotions possible.

“…Are you perhaps the younger sister of Choi Hyeongmin?”

“Do you want to get fired? No, wait…yeah, just pretend I’m her and show me the same style. Stop annoying me.”

After that, the staff carrying the clothes came out and went back in a conveyor belt-like manner, repeating the process rapidly.

Many women who look at multiple items before buying one, or those who want to know the detailed history of a product, may find this sales pitch appealing, but it was not the approach I wanted at all.

“Pass, go away, you rag? Keep, payment, take it out, are you crazy? Payment, buy, clean up.”

The payment is processed at lightning speed.

What I like is bought, what I don’t like is taken away.

The types of clothes brought in vary slightly each time, gradually changing to clothes that suit my taste.

The stylist affiliated with the department store checks my preferred clothes in real-time and recommends different clothes.

It’s a style that’s more masculine than feminine.

After the overall purchase is done, the male stylist comes over to measure me.

“Let me measure your size for a moment…”

“…Oh, damn, fine, measure me.”

If I just choose the style, they will bring or order the best-fitting size for me. Even when I was a man, I sometimes got measured, so I understand why they are measuring me. I obediently stretch out my arms, and the female stylist looks at me with surprised eyes instead of measuring my size.

Confusion fills her eyes.

Ah, she must have noticed that I’m not wearing a bra.

“I’m going to buy underwear. Bring it to fit me.”

“Oh, okay. Um… the size is… very… large, so it might take some time, and it may not be a product from our store. Is that okay with you?”

It was a way of saying that my chest is too big to find elsewhere.

I’ve heard stories about having sex with women with big breasts. There’s a lingerie editing shop in Gangnam where you can try on and buy lingerie, even if you have the largest breasts you know in Korea.

Surely it’s not far from here, so she must be saying she’ll go there.

“20 minutes. I gave you a long time considering the distance, right?”

“Oh, well, that’s… ”

“You’re a woman, and you look pretty good, so I thought I’d give you a break. Do you know how much I’m spending right now? I see from your name tag that you’re a newbie, right? 30 minutes. I’ll give you a tip, so ask your senior. I don’t have time. If you’re late, figure it out yourself, okay?”

As he measures the length of my arms and speaks, the female employee’s face changes very subtly.

The phrase ‘looks good’ seems to bother her a lot.

…Am I crazy? Do I have to look up to women too? Why are they so small?

It seems that they understood that the clothes I wanted were a bit far from feminine and more unisex, so they started showing me clothes that I couldn’t wear due to my body size. They show me clothes that are difficult to wear due to my large chest and show me designs that can replace them.

“Shoes… maybe?”

“Are you crazy? Um… no, okay. Show me one.”

They bring high heels and loafers and show them to me. I immediately rejected them, but because of my small height, I ended up buying high heels.

The loafers, with leather soles, have a color that I don’t quite like… well, what can I do.

After that, my outfit gradually changed from abnormal to normal. I was about to refuse the hair setting service that tidied up my messy hair, but when I saw my messy hair in the mirror, I decided to just accept it. With the application of essence oil, my neatly arranged hair is beautifully tied up by the hands of a professional. I refused to put in curls and ended up with just a simple tie.

I decided to wear the clothes I liked the most from the ones I picked out, and they were moved to a small room nearby with the clothes hanging on a hanger. This place, like a hotel room, is the dressing room.

As I walk over and try on the clothes, choosing the ones I like, there is a knock on the door.

“Oh, the underwear has arrived. Please try it on…”

“Charge everything. Eat your tip with a clear conscience.”

There are… quite a few different types of underwear.

…I’ve probably seen a lot of people put on and take off clothes, so I might know how to put them on roughly, but I don’t feel like putting them on properly.

Come to think of it, they said that a sports bra can hold and make the chest look smaller.

It may seem a bit small in size, but this is probably the right size.

Putting on the bra, enduring the feeling of a rubber band around the chest, and filling the hooks and bands, I was able to wear the bra.

“Phew….”

It feels like my chest is quite securely held.

But still, it’s too big.

It’s uncomfortable, but visually, the discomfort has decreased a bit.

Only now, standing up and looking down, I could barely see the tips of my toes.

After that, I put on a black turtleneck, smooth-fitting jeans, a neat jacket with a luxury logo fully lined inside, making it hard to know the maker before taking it off.

“Ha, it feels somewhat human.”

After changing into all the clothes and roughly throwing away the clothes I used to wear as a man, the staff automatically took care of them.

One female staff member was holding the panties I was wearing as a man and had a very strange expression on her face.

Did you wear this? That was the expression.

But without saying anything, she neatly packed them in a paper bag.

“I didn’t buy much, but I’m done shopping. How much is it?”

“Would you like a separate receipt?”

“Don’t make it long, just write the brand name on it.”

A little while later, a slightly unusual receipt was handed over.

Instead of the names of the clothes or products, it only had the brand names and where and how much was spent.

It showed a considerable amount of tens of millions of won, and there was also a service charge item listed below, but I didn’t really care.

“Is the payment done? I’m leaving.”

“As for the items, should we have them moved to the VIP’s address?”

“Put them in the car.”

Normally, I would have agreed, but for some reason, I was reluctant to let a stranger know my home address, not knowing how long this situation would last.

The male staff in the room right now seemed to be a bit irritated, as I was no longer expressing many desires and was unable to complain due to money constraints, but there was something slightly uncomfortable in their eyes.

A subtle desire in their gaze.

I could feel them glancing at my chest or hips, but it was difficult to notice, yet as someone who had seen a lot of guys when I was a man, it was easy to recognize the difference in their gaze.

“The vehicle is ready.”

“Okay.”

After finishing shopping, I drank the cocktail provided after shopping and waited for a while, then heard that the preparations were done and walked out of the showroom with a more comfortable step, and the VIP elevator was already there.

As I went down to the parking lot, the valet-parked car was already prepared for me to get in and go.

Although not visible, the trunk would already be filled with neatly arranged clothes.

“It was an honor. I hope to see you again.”

“Sure. Let’s meet again when I buy men’s clothes next time.”

Vroom, vroom!

As I heard a farewell that was slightly different from the usual farewell, I pressed the accelerator and slowly drove out of the parking lot, and as I looked in the rearview mirror, I met eyes with myself.

Arranging my disheveled hair, dressed in clean clothes according to my taste, the woman who looked a bit aloof and chilly, yet cute with an extremely lewd and sexy body size between height, face, and body, was surprisingly tolerable.

No, beyond tolerable, she had an amazing appearance. Arrogant and slightly cold, but also cute with a very lewd and sexy body, it was an appearance that could be described as stunning.

The fact that such a woman exists in reality is beyond belief.

What is this body? Since a sports bra tightens the chest and makes it look smaller, is it okay to look smaller?

This level is beyond the top 1%, it’s probably around the top 0.01% in terms of appearance.

…I don’t necessarily want to be seen as a woman, but it’s just an objective evaluation of my appearance as a woman.

Well, it might be a natural result since I became a woman.

Thinking that it might be time for the appointment soon, I checked my smartphone as soon as I left the parking lot before merging onto the road.

Desire: 50

![Heat (Weakened)]

(Slightly weakened state due to satisfaction from sex. Some penalties locked. Decrease in imprint value. Remaining time 7 hours 2 minutes)

“I’ve spent almost 2 hours on that. Ugh….”

Time passes too quickly, making me feel a bit urgent.

There’s still 7 hours left, but…just having a single digit remaining is quite unsettling.

Feeling the urge to quickly get rid of these disgusting things on the status screen, I accelerated gradually and drove to the parking lot near the meeting place.