episode_0012

It’s awkward with Mom.

Frankly, it’s even more awkward after having sex.

Mom’s usual place is the living room.

She always watches TV or sits in the living room reading a book.

First, I have to say something to Mom.

I went to the front of Mom’s room.

“Mom, I’m going to hang out next door.”

“Uh, okay. Come back early.”

Fortunately, Mom didn’t say much.

I thought she would say a lot if I said I was meeting Yerin noona….

I roughly fixed my hair and opened the front door.

“Jiwon-ah…!”

“Yes?”

Mom opened the door and came out.

“D, don’t ever smoke… okay?”

Mom couldn’t meet my eyes and lowered her head slightly.

Her eyes wandered here and there before fixing on the floor, and her fingertips fiddled with her clothes for no reason.

She looked like a scolded puppy, shrunken down,

and also had a shy expression like a child caught with a ticklish secret.

Even in the awkward atmosphere, I found that Mom was cute for some reason.

“Okay. I’ll keep my promise.”

Mom hesitated and then slightly raised her head.

She smiled brightly, like sunlight spreading.

It was a beautiful smile that made it feel like the shyness from just a moment ago was a lie.

I didn’t want to disappoint Mom.

That was definitely sincere.

…And 10 minutes later, I was in the next door’s veranda with a cigarette in my mouth.

Damn it…!

Somehow, when I meet Yerin noona, I get pressured by her energy and do things I don’t want to do.

“How is it, is this sex?”

“That damn sex….”

“Ah, right. Jiwon had sex, right? You’re an adult now? Should I see if your thing is ripe yet?”

“Ah, don’t!”

“Cute.”

Yerin noona was either genuinely finding me cute or looking at me intently with a strange expression.

I was embarrassed for no reason and avoided her gaze.

“Anyway, you said you’d tell me about the family’s sentencing?”

“Let’s drink first. Somaek, okay?”

“Okay.”

I’ve never had somaek before.

In fact, I’ve barely had any alcohol at all.

All I’ve had is secretly stealing a sip or two of the beer Mom used to drink when I was young.

I didn’t go to college, and my school days… I don’t even want to think about them.

In the first place, it wasn’t an environment where I could drink alcohol.

Honestly, I was looking forward to it.

“What? Why do you look so excited?”

“No, I’m not.”

Honestly, I was excited.

It’s the first time, and although it’s a slightly unusual case to call her a friend,

the fact that I’m drinking alcohol at a friend’s house at this late hour made me feel happy for no reason.

“Hey, I’ll make you a special delicious snack.”

“Oh, are you good at cooking?”

“Yeah.”

Then she brought back frozen food that she microwaved.

“Is this cooking…?”

“It’s cooking because I made it by combining things!”

“…It’s just frozen food.”

“Hey, in America, cooking it this way is called ‘casserole’.”

“Don’t lie.”

“If you don’t believe me, look it up. Anyway, it’s American commoner food. So you can see it as cooking.”

“…Okay, I got it.”

But it’s more delicious than I thought.

“Huh?”

“See, it’s delicious.”

Yerin noona brought beer and opened it, and then took out soju and mixed an appropriate amount into a cup.

And then she handed me a glass.

“Here, drink.”

“Okay.”

“We have to do a cheers.”

“A cheers?”

“You can say something to celebrate, or something you want to say.”

“Well….”

I’ve never done anything like that before, so I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Then I’ll do it. Cheers to Jiwon losing his virginity!”

“Hey…!”

Clink—!

Yerin noona forcibly clinked her glass against mine.

As one glass after another went down, the atmosphere became more lively.

Now I slowly brought up the story about the sentencing she received.

“Is it true that three family members were sentenced?”

“….”

Yerin noona took out a cigarette and lit it.

She let out smoke as if sighing and got up from her seat.

“Follow me.”

It seemed like she was going to the master bedroom. That’s how the structure was.

Could it be… sex…?

“I’m not saying let’s have sex, just follow me.”

“Ah.”

“Pervert.”

“What…!”

Yerin noona took another puff of her cigarette in front of the master bedroom door, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

“Go in and look.”

As I entered the room, the ceiling was the first thing that caught my eye.

It wasn’t burned, but there were black marks as if something had been burned away.

Between the gaps, golden remnants spread like scales.

“…What is that?”

“That’s the sky door that opened when Mom refused the sentencing and was taken to the sky. That’s… the trace.”

“…Is the ceiling burned?”

“Rather than burned, the ceiling opened along a golden beam of light.”

An incomprehensible pattern was engraved on the ceiling.

I felt a fear of something unknown, something that humans could not approach.

I wanted to ask what kind of sentencing my mother had received, no, what kind of sentencing the family had received.

Fortunately, Yerin noona spoke first.

“My dad and I were sentenced to have sexual relations. And Mom’s was to help our relationship.”

“…Wow.”

“But Mom stopped it. She said she couldn’t hurt me.”

But why did Yerin noona curse at her mom?

She looked at my expression and said.

“Mom stopped it a little bit and then stopped.”

“….”

“And Dad… well, that happened. Mom was taken to the sky. In front of all of us.”

“Why do you resent your mom?”

“Because she made me live in this hell.”

I couldn’t understand what that meant.

“Anyway, that’s my story. So your sentencing isn’t over yet.”

“…I guess so.”

Looking at the unique patterns and scorch marks on the ceiling, I strongly felt that it wasn’t over yet.

Or, I was also overcome with the fear that it might be engraved on our house.

It felt like a seal of death.

Yerin noona said.

“I’ve been thinking about it carefully? It seems like there was a problem with the circumstances.”

“Circumstances? I don’t have any problems.”

“No, you idiot. Did you cum inside? Or outside?”

“Outside.”

“That’s it, then.”

She was saying that the difference between vaginal and external ejaculation was the key to fulfilling the sentencing.

“Why is that?”

“Why do you think people have sexual relations? Think about it carefully. In the end, it’s to have children, right?”

“That’s true…?”

“Isn’t external ejaculation perhaps like a deception to the beings who handed down the sentencing?”

“…Maybe?”

“I… went all the way there. So it’ll be over.”

Yerin noona showed a shy expression for the first time.

Whether she was shy or reluctant to talk about it… anyway, it was a complex expression.

“You had sex anyway, right? Try ejaculating inside this time.”

“…I don’t know about that.”

“What, you’re already doing it, what are you so worried about?”

“I think it’s possible to do that because it’s this kind of world… but somehow, I feel like it’s driving a wedge between parents and children.”

Yerin noona said, exhaling cigarette smoke.

Her expression wasn’t good.

“Then die.”

“That’s harsh.”

“It’s almost time for Dad to come. You go now.”

“You’re kicking me out like this?”

“Go.”

She seemed upset for some reason.

It seemed like it was because I touched on a past she didn’t want to remember.

I came back home.

Mom was asleep with the TV on.

Thanks to that, I was lucky that she didn’t find out I smoked.

Mom is curled up like a baby. She looks cold, so I covered her with a blanket.

“Not inside… um….”

Mom’s sleep talk sounded like an answer to the story about vaginal ejaculation that Yerin noona and I had just shared.

Mom also doesn’t want to lose the relationship between child and parent, it seems.

“It’s my fate….”

I feel like I want a cigarette after smoking just a few times.

I opened the veranda door and went out to look at the night sky.

“I can’t see any stars….”

“Don’t do it…!”

“@#@#@ YOU @#@!”

It was noisy next door.

Whether it was the sound of someone fighting, or a heated conversation…

There’s only Yerin noona and her dad next door, so is there a fight?

My mom and I don’t fight, but I heard that other families often fight with their parents.

I wanted to listen closely, but I felt like I was a voyeur, so I stopped.

I was looking at the sky for a while, and then something flew onto the veranda.

At first, I thought I was mistaken, but I wasn’t.

Someone was throwing small stones at our veranda.

“What, is someone crazy?”

Looking closely, it was Yerin noona, throwing stones diligently.

“What…?”

Yerin noona gestured for me to come down.

Come to think of it, I don’t even know her phone number.

“What is it?”

Yerin noona kept gesturing, not hearing my voice.

First, I carefully looked inside from the veranda, and after confirming that Mom was sleeping,

I opened the front door and went outside.

“What is it, this early in the morning?”

“Hey, let me sleep over tonight.”

“What?”

“Just like I said. Let me sleep over.”

“You live next door, why bother…”

“Hey, shouldn’t you be happy that a cute girl like me is asking you to let her sleep over?”

“No, well, what do I say….”

Yerin noona looked at me intently and said.

“Ah, right. Your lover is your mom.”

“…What! It’s not like that.”

“Well, if you had sex, she’s your lover. You’re not going to eat and run, are you?”

“Are you crazy, I wouldn’t eat and run on my mom.”

“Anyway, let me sleep over.”

I don’t know what she’s thinking, I can’t understand this person’s way of thinking as a normal person.

“Mom can’t find out.”

“Yeah, I’ll be as quiet as a mouse so your lover doesn’t dislike it.”

“Ha… it’s my fate.”

“You’re talking like an old man.”

I carefully opened the front door.

Mom was quietly sleeping, covered with the blanket I had put on her.

I said in a whisper.

“Come in.”

“Thank you!”

Yerin noona said in a louder voice than expected.

She was really a tomboy through and through.

I led her to my room.

Come to think of it, my room isn’t very clean…?

“Wow, what is the identity of this pile of ugly tissues?”

“…I blew my nose with those!”

Yerin noona picked up a tissue and sniffed it.

“Yeah right.”

“….”

Yerin noona, who had been playful, quietly sat in the corner of the bed.

Her profile was slightly visible in the darkness.

“…Thank you, really.”

For some reason, my heart aches.

I felt like there was something she wasn’t saying.

It wasn’t just that she wanted to joke around, avoid, and pop out,

but it felt like the tone of someone who had really run away.

What happened?

She didn’t say anything, but somehow noona’s silence felt even louder.