episode_0012

As I followed the old man’s words and walked, I came across the building of the Adventurer’s Guild. Come to think of it, it’s been quite a while since I’ve had contact with an adventurer’s guild like this. There were times when we turned our backs on the battlefield, there were times when we fought with people with conflicting interests, and there were times when we personally buried those who were sacrificed.

Although I didn’t miss it that much, it was also true that I felt glad to see it to some extent.

“Don’t just swing there, put strength into your waist!”

“…”

As I walked, following the voice I had heard before, I came to the training area set up at the back of the building. Cecilia was teaching swords and spears to the village children there.

“If you swing it like that, will it hurt your wrist? Instead of holding it like that, hold it with a tighter grip.”

“… Is this village in such a desperate situation that it needs to train child soldiers?”

If so, that seemed pretty sad. Because one of the reasons we fought was fading away.

I didn’t want those kids to go through what we went through.

“Woman, what brings you here?”

“At the request of an old man, I came to observe you at work. I answered the question, so I’d like to hear the answer to my own question as well.”

“… It’s not like they’re child soldiers or anything like that. All I’m doing is teaching them how to protect themselves in this harsh world.”

“It is indeed quite desirable.”

This woman was doing something we couldn’t do.

“So you chose the sword and the spear…”

Of course, I had no knowledge of swords and spears like His Majesty or Camilla. It’s not that I haven’t dealt with them, but I immediately put them down because I only had average talent.

“Not a bad choice. Things like bows and blunt weapons are surprisingly difficult to handle.”

“You speak like someone who has been to the battlefield before.”

“You have experience. There were quite a few times when I fought at the forefront.”

“So, what weapons did you use on the battlefield? knife? window? Blunt weapon?”

“It’s neither of those things. I just enjoyed a similar effect as using them.”

Cecilia didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. As I said, I did not use swords, spears, or blunt weapons on the battlefield.

I’m a miserable person who doesn’t have much to say, so any further explanation would be useless.

“… I can’t help it.”

I approached the rock in the center of the training ground.

“Can I use this?”

“That’s an item I brought for strength training.”

“If it’s worth it, pay it later.”

I extended my index finger and pierced the center of the rock.

“If I needed a window, I did it this way.”

Next, he struck the rock with the blade of his open palm and split the rock in half.

“If I needed a sword, I did it like this.”

Finally, he hit the rock with his palm and broke it.

“If a blunt weapon was needed, this is the only way to do it.”

Then Cecilia and the village children looked at me with wide eyes.

“It’s nothing much, just a technique.”

A sword that commands tens of thousands of troops and deflects slashes coming from all directions, a spear that pierces and kills countless enemies with lightning, and a brain with strategies that lead to victory in countless battles.

Compared to the brilliant power of my friends, my talents were too small and unsightly to catch.

” Wow, bro, how did you do that?”

“Please show me that one more time!”

“Can you do it if you learn it?”

The children surrounded me and begged to learn my catch.

It would be better to learn the skills that Cecilia teaches rather than learn the skills of someone like me.

“……”

However, he remained silent because he was not used to dealing with children. What should I say in times like this?

Not only did I never play much with my younger sister, but I also spent many years on the battlefield. Because my life was far from that of these young children, it was not easy for me to talk about it.

“Everyone, he is the new lord. Don’t be rude anymore and just go home today.”

“Grandma devil. Always keeping the fun to himself.”

“What is it?”

When Cecelia took out her wooden sword, the children began to run away.

“You seem to be used to handling children.”

“They are children from the same village, right? It is a law that the children of a village must be raised by the entire village.”

It was a correct attitude toward life that was difficult to face. Unlike me, who couldn’t protect the happiness of anyone around me.

“Anyway, can I ask you something?”

“Anything I can answer.”

“Well… Is the technique you just showed some kind of self-defense technique exclusive to nobles…?”

“I didn’t know you’d even ask me this much about hunting.”

Even if you ask, I can’t tell you. Unlike others, this is a simple technique that I use based on my senses at the time.

“… Although it is difficult to explain in words. First of all, it is a technology that uses resonance.”

“Sounding…”

“I saw someone break a wine glass with their voice before and I just imitated it. I just swing it to give a similar sound to my body.”

As someone who is not good at talking, I couldn’t explain any further than that.

“… I didn’t know you were there. ”

“What does that mean?”

“I thought you were just a man who grew up as a flower in a greenhouse and never had a drop of blood on his hands.”

I wish I had grown up like that. Even though I would have been lonely, I would not have ended up in the same situation as I am now.

“But the lord was not that kind of person. He had a painful past and went to the battlefield with blood on his hands.”

“I think it’s too quick to draw conclusions. Could it be that I am the one hiding my true self?”

“It would have been a bigger mistake to have come to a conclusion before even meeting him. Even if that happens, I am solely responsible for it. It is not an excuse to accuse someone of prejudice.”

But for a moment, I had a doubt. How does this person know the pain of my past?

The only people I shared that fact with were my friends. I have never shared the records of my heart with anyone else.

“Especially that technique…! If you have that skill, you can beat up the bastards in the next village…! Oh, sorry. I got excited without even realizing it…”

“I think I’m misunderstanding something, so let me tell you. This is not a skill that people can master.”

“Yes…?”

“I can give my hands a sound that shatters everything, but in return, my heart no longer rings.”

My heart was racing, but I was no longer shaking from any kind of thrill. I was reduced to a piece of meat that was just running around.

“My hands may be able to penetrate everything, but my fingertips cannot even reach the family I wanted to see.”

My hands were covered in so much blood that I couldn’t hold them or touch them.

“Because my hands could cut everything, I cut down even the most precious person and broke their heart.”

It felt like the blood from that day was still on my hands.

“If anyone has a spear, they can pierce it, if they have a sword, they can cut it, and if they have a blunt weapon, they can crush it. What is in front of you is probably the worst idiot in the world.”

“…… My lord.”

“I wish I had died that day…”

“Lord.”

Cecilia held my chin and made eye contact with me.

“I don’t know the details of what kind of life your lord led. But would you please know this?”

She was glaring at me with eyes that seemed a little more serious. And my blank face was reflected in those burning eyes.

“Not many people can love someone who is not loved even by themselves.”

“Because I am a person who deserves hate, let alone love.”

“It seems to me that you are avoiding it in that way.”

“What do you know now…”

I almost raised my voice without realizing it. The reason it ended in an attempted attempt was because blood spurting from an unknown bodily organ spurted out through the throat and covered the mouth.

“Lord…!”

Now that I think about it, I forgot to take my medicine this morning. I seemed to have forgotten because it is a medicine that must be taken after a meal.

You don’t forget to take painkillers, but you foolishly forgot to take important medications.

“Medicine… Medicine…”

“Medicine… Do you have some kind of chronic illness…?”

“The glass bottles on the desk in my office… two medicines… all… please…”

Then Cecilia started running in the direction where my office was.

It would be nice if you could come back on time with the medicine.

no.

I didn’t think it would be a bad idea to just close my eyes like this.

I had the option of closing my eyes and being satisfied with the way things were, thankful that I had been lucky enough to have many friends.

A peaceful death surrounded by the people I love didn’t suit me.

If I vomit blood on the cold stone floor like this, death would be a fitting ending for me.

“You’re criticizing me, you fucking bastard.”

At that time, a crow suddenly flew in from somewhere and put the medicine I was holding with both paws into my mouth.

And the crow got angry, poking my cheek with its sharp claws.

“Cheongseung If you tremble and roll around, will you get food in the afterlife? Even if you fall like this, only the idiots who like you will be sad. Only the bastards who hated you will dance and say they like it.”

“I just can’t find a reason to live anymore…”

“If you can’t find it, make it. You also served in the military. If it doesn’t work, make it happen, and if you can’t find it, make it, you idiot.”

As the pain subsided little by little, my eyelids began to feel heavy.

Even as my eyelids gradually closed, the sense of discomfort that had just arisen was clearly present in a corner of my chest.

Even if I were to die now, I would still be able to feel this sense of discomfort so vividly.