episode_0011

He had listed his family background as ‘···’, indicating no history of divorce or remarriage…

Cosmo seemed to have caught on as well.

An Ifrit merchant. He’s lying.

I knew the moment his pupils shifted to one side.

After handling legal consultations for so long, you develop an instinct—not just for who’s good or bad, but also for who’s spinning lies.

It’s the kind of big data that comes with life experience.

Still, I get it. Even lawyers and matchmakers don’t always get the full truth. People naturally tend to omit details that don’t favor them.

Sigh… If only clients like this showed up during FFF-tier matchmaking sessions. Now that I’m trying to do things properly, why is this happening…?

But what can I do? I’m the one who brought him in, so I have to take responsibility.

Cosmo activated the private mode on the hologram screen and sent me a message: 「He lied… Aren’t you going to kick him out?」

I glanced at the Ifrit merchant in front of me. …He looked visibly tense.

Well, if he’s lying to me, he must have nowhere left to retreat.

I picked up the magic pen resting on the low table in front of the sofa. To the Ifrit merchant, it probably looked like I was just holding the pen, deep in thought. But in reality, I was typing on the hologram screen in my mind.

I finished typing so Cosmo could see: 「I won’t kick him out.」 「Then… what will you do?」 「Try to coax it out of him.」 「Is this really something that can be coaxed…? We don’t even know what kind of information he’s hiding.」 「Well, if it’s about family background, it’s either an ex-wife or a secret child. But logically, if an ex-wife were still in the picture, he wouldn’t be here… By process of elimination, it’s gotta be a secret child.」 「Oho. Learned something new. Then I’ll leave the coaxing to you, Master Rosenheit.」

Once my secret chat with Cosmo ended, I swallowed hard. With the most benevolent expression I could muster, I stared straight at the Ifrit merchant.

The wind spirit client did his best to keep a poker face, but he couldn’t control the slight tremble in his eyelids or the faint twitch of his lips.

Yeah. If he could control even those micro-expressions, he could’ve bluffed his way to victory in a soul-stakes poker game against a desert swindler.

But since he’s showing me this much, I’ve got my ways.

First, I snapped my fingers and asked for refreshments. Cosmo, like a cat assistant trailing a monster hunter, headed to the break room and returned with a basket of cookies balanced on his head.

A pretty little basket on the low table in front of the sofa. I picked up a chocolate chip cookie and took a big bite. Deliberately avoiding eye contact with the Ifrit merchant, I chewed slowly and made my offer.

“Have one.”

The wind spirit client glanced at me—checking my reaction— before picking up a cheese cube-stuffed cookie and taking a bite. Cosmo also quietly approached the table, grabbed a mint chocolate chip cookie, and sat on the sofa beside me.

Once the Ifrit merchant finished his cookie, I spoke in a tone that said I already know everything.

“Mr. Ifrit. It’s okay—just be honest with me.”

The wind spirit broke into a cold sweat, his words trailing off. “I’m… not sure what you mean…”

Yeah, of course you wouldn’t. Everyone has their defense mechanisms.

Cosmo, stuffing his cheeks with the mint chocolate chip cookie, watched our exchange with wide, nervous eyes.

Time to start the musical.

I responded with an expression that said I understand a hundred times over. “Everyone goes through hard times. From what I’ve learned in life… the world is inherently unfair. But no matter how wronged or resentful you feel, if you let it break you, the universe won’t spare you an ounce of pity. In the end, it’s always the innocent ones like you who get hurt the most, but overcoming that pain is still entirely up to the individual.

I don’t know what your story is, Mr. Ifrit, but since you’ve come here, I’ll make sure you walk away with the best possible outcome. You have to trust me completely.”

The Ifrit merchant listened to my words in silence, then stared at the office ceiling as if replaying 160 years of memories— before finally shedding a single, solemn tear from his right eye.

…He’s the first man to cry here since General Derek.

And so, the Ifrit merchant’s tale began.

Hmm… So that’s the tragic past he’s been carrying.

That’s enough to make anyone disillusioned with the world. In my past life as a legal consultant, I’d heard countless stories of misfortune. But the Ifrit merchant… He’d easily rank in the top 2% of the Most Unfortunate Lives contest. His life was one cruel joke after another.

After hearing his story, I closed my eyes, took a sip of crimson tea, and spoke.

“Lawyers must really hate you.”

At my words, his expression cracked— like someone had finally scratched an itch he couldn’t reach.

Cosmo, with crumbs of mint chocolate chip cookie still around his mouth, glanced at me with a look that said, Not bad.

This is how you win someone’s heart. Understand that society is built on the collective will of people, and you’ll realize that mastering hearts is the key to ruling the world.

I sat back on the sofa, crossing my right leg over my left thigh with a thud, and asked:

“So… what do you want me to do for you now?”

……

First, I asked if he wanted a new spouse. He said he’d prefer to get his ex-wife back, but if that was impossible, he’d settle for remarrying here to receive Eldoria’s monthly 1,000 Eldoris marriage subsidy.

Oh? Eldoria offers marriage subsidies? That’s new intel. Then again, this’ll just attract more people faking marriages for ulterior motives. Spy families… I can already hear the death knell for Serika Marriage Agency.

For now, prioritizing the client’s request is key, so I declared that retrieving the Ifrit merchant’s ex-wife would be our primary goal.

When I made this bold proclamation, the wind spirit client looked skeptical.

“Is… that even possible? I heard the settlement’s already finalized—it’s as binding as a court ruling…”

Right. He caved and settled. But there’s always a loophole in settlements. Plus, the claim that adultery occurred before the marriage itself is contradictory— I’ll have to hammer that point home.

I asked Cosmo for the time. “7:15 PM.”

Pretty late already. I glanced out the window at the darkening sky. The street outside Serika Marriage Agency was still bustling, and the lights in her wicked office burned bright.

Never thought I’d be pulling overtime in another world… A competitive fire ignited in me.

Hah. Let’s do this.

I stood from the sofa and spoke to the Ifrit merchant in a no-nonsense tone. “Do you have a copy of the settlement agreement?” “Not on me… It’s at my lodgings!” “Good. Go get it. And Cosmo—contact the Teruvian Regent. We’ll need Mirteil’s connections to reach the Ignisca investigative bureau.”

The robotic cat blinked, confused. “…You’re filing a complaint with Ignisca?” “That’s the plan. Time to dust off my litigation skills. Of course, we’ll need to verify the facts with the settlement first.” “But… how does this help us as matchmakers? I’m not even sure if this will deal a blow to Serika.”

Seeing the AI cat’s confusion, I leaned in, locking eyes with his heterochromatic gaze, and said:

“Cosmo. Now’s not the time to hold back. We have to show Serika we’re stronger. Otherwise, she’ll drag us around forever. Besides, isn’t this what connections are for? I’ll pressure Ignisca’s bureau as Mirteil’s sovereign— I’ll even stamp the complaint with Mirteil’s royal seal. Meanwhile, you get the Teruvian Regent to grease some wheels. In life, you can’t just corner someone— you have to alternate between carrots and sticks. …Though embezzlement and manhunts are a different matter.”

“Master Rosenheit… You’re scarier than I thought.”

Finally understanding, Cosmo immediately contacted the Teruvian Regent.

But then— the Ifrit merchant suddenly dropped to his knees and kowtowed to me!

For a second, I was baffled—until I realized he’d heard me call myself Mirteil’s sovereign.

Ah. Didn’t expect to be worshipped like this… My life in Eldoria is becoming more legendary by the minute.

I helped him up and spoke magnanimously. “Go on, hurry back. We need to sort out the facts tonight to file the complaint tomorrow.”

The wind spirit, regaining his composure, rushed toward the door— but paused to glance back and bow.

“Sovereign Rosenh—no, Director. I never dreamed I’d come here to secretly remarry… only to end up filing a complaint for my ex-wife. Truly… thank you.”

I gave him a genuine smile and raised my right hand in a casual salute to acknowledge his gratitude.

……

The Ifrit merchant was gone.

Now I’ve got to pull my first all-nighter in months… Suddenly craving coffee.

Cosmo was hard at work, exchanging messages with the Teruvian Regent. As I adjusted my shoes, I asked:

“Are there coffee shops in Eldoria?”

Too focused on the screen to even look at me, Cosmo answered: “They’re everywhere. Like the place we always get sandwiches. Their coffee’s probably good too. Oh, and we should eat dinner—grab some bread while you’re at it. I’ll take a salmon roll.”

…Right. If the AI cat hadn’t reminded me, I’d have starved. The Ifrit merchant probably skipped dinner to rush back— I should get enough for him too. I’ll have the chicken roll, so he can take whatever’s left. His daughter’s at the orphanage, so… skip.

Just as I was about to leave, I realized I needed to confirm one more thing and turned back to Cosmo.

“Wait—Eldoria doesn’t have disposable items, right? Can I get coffee to-go?” “Even if they say no, you’ll just strong-arm them, right? Isn’t intimidation one of Master Rosenheit’s specialties…?”

?

That one stung. No time to retort, so as I left, I shot back:

“Hey. I’m not that bad of a person, okay?”

I closed the office door behind me— only to hear a tiny mechanical voice leak through:

“GR, lol.”