episode_0011

There was plenty of time to think.

Of course, the thing that comes to mind the most is my family.

I can’t believe my father was such a great person.

‘I thought it was just a hunter.’

After chewing and crushing the herb, I applied it evenly to the shoulder wound. Now that I think about it, the wolf has a lot of scratches from Terup.

In particular, the neck has really deep wounds.

“How is your wound?”

“It will be better if you leave it.”

Does this person not know what excessive bleeding is?

“I will apply some herbs.”

As he chewed the herb and made a paste, the wolf frowned. It may be tempting to dislike it, but in the first place, saliva needs to be added to this paste to activate the antibacterial enzymes.

“You’re not trying to put that dirty thing on my wound right now, are you?”

It’s a very disgusting expression.

It’s okay to hate it, but you can’t throw it away right away.

I’m not saying you like me in the first place.

Still, I felt embarrassed to quit right away.

‘Say it just one more time and if you refuse, I’ll hit you right away.’

“If you leave the bacteria in the wound, it will mostly fester or swell and become painful.”

“What are germs? That’s it… Do whatever you want.”

I heard it was dirty just now?

After receiving permission from the wolf, I carefully pasted the herbs on the affected area.

“Ugh!”

“Oh, no!”

The wolf growls in arrogance.

Thanks to this, all the herbs I had attached fell off.

‘Can’t you be a little more cooperative?’

I was glad I brought a spare.

But there was only one spare portion.

“······Can you please stay still?”

“Your herbs make me feel dirty.”

Of course you feel dirty. I apply needles and stick it on.

“If you leave it alone and let it fester, it will hurt more.”

The wolf glares at me.

“···Wouldn’t it be better for you if I die?”

‘Fuck. Are you saying that now?’

“Something! I landed in a place where I don’t know anything, so what are you going to do with me?! If you die, I die too!”

“Well, that’s true too.”

“This is all that’s left, so don’t touch it anymore.”

Only then did the wolf calm down, and only then was it possible to apply herbs to its wounds.

“I can’t fix it because I don’t have a bandage.”

“But?”

“At least one day is fine, so try not to move as much as possible.”

After warning the wolf, he lightly brushed off the affected area where the blood had hardened. As the dirt and dried blood turn into powder and fall off, it seems to have become a little more hygienic.

‘A victim treating a kidnapper…’

It’s not like Stockholm Syndrome.

I saw with my own eyes that it was an unavoidable situation.

Even so, it was an unreasonable situation for me.

Well, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault.

‘Well, if I had surrendered from the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened.’

I was the one who made matters worse by pointing a bow at the wolf from the beginning.

It’s because I misunderstood Ajin as an ‘animal’.

When I thought about it that way, I realized that it was an opportunity.

‘This wolf is strange, but at least he’s not a bad person.’

How about just following this wolf like this?

─I am not your child.

The moment I took over the consciousness of this body, the personality of Rian disappeared in vain, leaving behind memories of my childhood.

From the moment my memories came back, I had the intention of leaving their side.

Because I was caught in the middle of a real family that had been together for hundreds of years, perhaps tens of millions of years, through gravity.

In addition, the personality of the child I had been with for 14 years was crumbling.

─At that moment, catastrophe was announced.

I’m really sorry for causing harm to your parents, but what can you do?

The water has already been spilled. Spilled water has no choice but to be wiped away even if it is ultimately dirty.

That’s why now felt like an opportunity.

Because I had no choice but to leave the house.

─Your parents will definitely be greatly hurt.

However, unlike Earth, this world is a place where death is familiar.

Children died easily.

On Earth, 200 years ago, the average human lifespan was only 26 years.

It’s all because the children died.

Even though it may be difficult, you will accept that fact.

At the same time, it also saves various resources that would be consumed while raising me for two years.

This world is not fantasy.

It’s truly medieval times.

‘And let’s meet later when we grow up.’

And, it pays back.

Doubly as much as I was loved.

You decided from the beginning to become independent as quickly as possible, right?

It was a situation that required extreme medication.

This is something that can’t be helped.

I try to tell myself that, but my heart is filled with only sadness.

Because the 14 years weren’t mine, but they weren’t fake either.

─I wanted to live with my parents.

However, if you think about it objectively, this convenience was very ugly.

No one defends a baby cuckoo that kills its real children and takes over the nest.

There is no sin in the baby cuckoo.

So, is that cuckoo cute, or would you consider raising one?

‘Absolutely not.’

At least it wasn’t me.

If I were to be eaten by a snake, they would give me a standing ovation saying it was right.

Even if there is no malicious intent, sin is sin.

Maybe I’m pushing myself into the abyss of self-destruction. When humans are stressed, they tend to destroy everything around them.

─In other words, it is a baby cuckoo that jumped out of the nest.

My heart is heavy.

I wanted to see my mother in better health, at least once.

“You know a lot about this subject.”

“Not much.”

As I strengthened my half-shattered resolve, my chest was filled with volatilized emotional gas and I could not breathe.

“···Phew.”

From now on.

I had to learn how to live in the future.

I cleared away the fallen leaves and lay down on the wet ground.

The floor was cold.

However, if you sleep on fallen leaves, all kinds of bugs will crawl up your body.

Of course, it still goes up, but since it goes up less, I have to endure it.

Even though it is clearly night, the surroundings are as bright as dawn.

I realized once again how dark the night sky in Seoul was.

“Knowledge that cannot be used… and how to use herbs… and how to make a fire…”

“There is no knowledge in this world that cannot be used.”

If a wolf were to get into my head, I would definitely take back what I just said.

Even though I fell into this world, half of my mind is filled with webtoons, humor sites, phone numbers of good restaurants, and magazines picked up on social media.

I lay down and fumbled with my hands and put the mosquito-repelling kindling into the bonfire.

“Do you need something like a night watch?”

“Night watch?”

The wolf laughs and stretches its neck toward the sky.

Awww—!

The cry this time wasn’t that kind of cry.

It was like a wolf howling.

“Why are you crying?”

Hmm! The wolf clears his throat and looks at me.

The corners of his mouth turned up mischievously.

“There are people who glance here because of the smell of blood. I warned you to go away.”

As I thought about the words, I got goosebumps.

‘···You glanced?’

I looked around, but there was no trace of it anywhere.

“···What was there?”

“A group of kobolds were drawn to the smell of blood. Although I ran away now.”

There were kobolds?!

I didn’t notice it at all! If it weren’t for the wolf just now, I would have died!

After that? They would have had their limbs ripped out and eaten alive like a deer for lunch!

“What do you do if a group comes with you?!”

“Then run away quickly.”

The wolf just speaks calmly.

You can run away! But I’m a child?!

“Never leave me alone.”

“Don’t wake me up.”

“No. Please take me with you.”

The wolf glanced at me.

“I have never crossed the river yet. If you wait, your father will come. ···I don’t know how many days it will take.”

I hated that.

When the wolf leaves, I will wait here for my parents. Of course, I don’t want to die. What if we go back like that?

I can assure you, there is an inertia of chasing what is comfortable.

Because my days at that house were so happy.

Let’s just follow this wolf.

It is not enough to say that I have a good eye for people.

But I didn’t think this person’s way of thinking was bad.

“Can you take me with you?”

“I don’t like it.”

“It might be helpful.”

“There will be both gain and loss.”

Even though I knew that the wolf’s words were a euphemistic rejection, I really had no other choice, and I didn’t want to go back.

The surroundings suddenly feel unfamiliar.

A snake that eats people, a venomous bug, a bear that smells strange, a tiger that is a natural assassin, a kobold that eats anything, an ogre that is the top predator, a ghost bug that is a piranha on the ground, a piranha in the sky… ·.

I had plans to leave home someday.

However, I had no intention of dying.

Death was assumed to be the worst.

I am not afraid of death.

I was afraid of the pain and fear of approaching death.

When the wolf cut my hand, I couldn’t understand how I had the courage to accept death.

“What should I do if kobolds attack in the last few days?”

“Do it yourself.”

“···Can you please help me just once?”

I try to act pitiful, and the wolf turns its head to look at me.

“···If you are a child, think about the feelings of a parent who lost their child.”

‘I am from the perspective of a parent who lost a child.’

It was ironic.

Because I was now in the position of a child who lost his parents.

In the first place, this was the answer that came after much thought.

···When I think about it a little more, I feel appalled.

Isn’t that something that should come out of your mouth as a kidnapper in the first place?

“Are you saying something like that after you brought me here? Seriously?”

When I glare at it, the wolf just laughs.

Like a child trying to escape a crisis with laughter.

“If you can’t take me there, can you at least tell me the village where other humans live? Or even a general direction.”

It will be the same no matter where you go, but if you bow your head, you will be able to live while doing sidadari. Then, when you gain a little more weight, you leave.

The wolf, who was about to look away, sighs under his breath and looks at me again.

The wolf’s blue eyes staring at me felt cold.

‘Are you annoyed?’

If you keep coming at me even though I rejected it, of course they’ll look at me like that, but you can’t even tell me that? I’m at a loss.

Will I really be able to survive alone?

“In my opinion, you are a shameless old man.”

“Yes?”

“Why do you want to leave your parents?”

It’s difficult to explain.

‘What if I reveal the truth?’

I was not reincarnated and born through natural law, but through a deal with the devil and was born in two people’s stomachs. Even though I’m in that situation, I feel guilty towards the two of them, so I’m thinking of leaving.

If it is proven that the answer is true, it is as obvious as fire that I will leave it behind even if it is unclean. I didn’t know they might kill me on the spot.

In the end, I couldn’t respond to the long gaze that stared at me and demanded an answer.

“If you don’t want to talk, don’t.”

The wolf took his gaze away from me and turned around.

‘···It’s over.’

I hate it so much, but it wouldn’t be polite to keep asking for it.

What should I do starting tomorrow?

I looked at the wolf lying down and sighed without realizing it.

‘Fuck you! If it doesn’t work out, just die!’

I need to find out how to commit suicide without it hurting.

“Sleep well.”

All remaining kindling and firewood were thrown into the bonfire.

The overeaten bonfire subsides for a moment, then begins to burn louder.

Pashk!

A moth jumps into a fire and oxidizes.

‘It would be nice if I could die that quickly.’

I lay back by the bonfire, cut my head, and closed my eyes, thinking about an easy way to commit suicide.