episode_0011

When I was young, I idolized my father. He was a martial artist and seemed so cool that I wanted to be just like him. From then on, I started exercising with my father, and from middle school, I began learning martial arts little by little. Up until then, there were no major problems. The problem arose during middle school when I got into a fight with some delinquent kids. Despite being in good shape and trained in martial arts, I won. At that time, I thought I had done well. However, the next day, I was shocked to see my father bowing and apologizing to the parents of the delinquent who had come to the school to pick a fight. It was because my father seemed so weak in that moment. That day, I confronted my father, asking him why he did that. In response, my father didn’t scold me but calmly said, “Never use violence outside the ring. It may feel good at first, but you’ll regret it later.” At that time, I couldn’t understand my father’s words. Even though neither I nor my father had done anything wrong, I began to dislike seeing my father appear weak. It was from that day that I started hanging out with delinquent kids. Naturally, things became awkward between my mother, father, and me. As a result, I found myself rebelling even more. Nevertheless, I thought it didn’t matter. It felt good to have everyone at school afraid of me, and some even looked at me with awe. Whenever I came home, my mother looked at me with concern, and my father seemed resigned, but I still thought everything was fine. I believed that as long as I was confident, that was enough. I vowed not to behave in an unmanly manner. I thought that was sufficient. “Hah, ooh, ahh.” And now, here I am, shaking my hips like a prostitute. It was something I would have never imagined doing before. “Tsk, you’re unusually aggressive today, aren’t you?” “Hoo, stop saying that.” Sex had become familiar, just like pleasure. A man’s pride was nowhere to be found in it. But it didn’t matter. I was incredibly happy right now. When did it start? Was it when I became completely accustomed to sex? Or was it when I reconciled with my parents, whom I had been distant from since becoming a woman? Or was it when Geonwoo started looking a bit cooler? I don’t know. Maybe it’s all of them. But more than any of those… “Tell me you love me♥”

“Kuk. Is that good? Alright, then I’ll do it. I love you, darling!”

“Ahh♥”

Genu felt so happy when she heard him say he loved her.

She was so happy that she shook her hips like a toilet bowl all by herself.

“Damn, you really like that much? You like it?”

“Ohh♥”

Yes, she liked it very much.

Becoming a woman completely trampled on a man’s pride.

But in return, she found happiness as a woman.

She lost her best friend after becoming a woman.

But in return, she got a boyfriend.

So, do more for me. Want me more. Embrace me so I can’t forget it.

Don’t let me be lonely anymore.

“Hey, you’re cheap.”

“Inside, please♥”

“You were going to do it anyway. Take care of the birth control yourself.”

You jerk♥

What if I get pregnant? What will Genu do then?

No, maybe he’ll just abandon me.

When I think about what I did to Genu when we were at school.

No, maybe he’ll take responsibility.

Not because Genu feels responsible, but because if my father finds out I’m pregnant, he won’t spare Genu♥

Of course, I’ll use birth control, but for a moment, I thought about not taking the pill.

“Ahh♥”

I was thinking about that when it happened. And at the same time, Genu ejaculated.

“Hoo, hoo…”

“I’ll give you a blowjob.”

“Okay.”

After ejaculating, I started giving Genu a blowjob while his penis was still erect.

I licked the tip and played with his testicles, and thoroughly licked the shaft.

Genu stroked my head. Just that made me overflow with happiness.

“But why did you suddenly do that? What if someone had come in?”

“I just couldn’t help it.”

“Did I make you do that by teasing you?”

“It has nothing to do with your personality.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Because I was so happy that you said you loved me.

I couldn’t help it because of the happiness.

That was the truth, but I couldn’t say it.

“Fool. Figure it out for yourself.”

“How can I figure it out if you don’t tell me, you blockhead.”

“Tsk. Alright, it’s done.”

As I spoke, I finished giving him a blowjob. Luckily, there was still no one in the bathroom. I rinsed my mouth with the gargle I had prepared in advance.

“Let’s go.”

“…Why are you linking arms with me?”

“Why? Can’t lovers do this?”

“It’s not that, but people are watching.”

“Let them watch.”

Geon-woo muttered, “Is it okay to do this at the academy?” but didn’t shake off the feeling. Naturally, when heading to the classroom, his presence drew some attention, but surprisingly, he wasn’t heavily scrutinized. After all, it was someone else’s business, and there were plenty of couples around, even if we weren’t one of them.

“Let’s sit in the back.”

“Are you planning to sleep during class? If so, why did you come?”

“Oh, no, I’m not. I’ll work hard too.”

“Oh, really? Have you finally developed a genuine desire to go to university?”

“Yeah. Because I want to go to the same university as you.”

I said it.

I honestly just blurted it out.

This might give me away.

That I genuinely like him.

“Pfft. I’m going to Seoul National University. Do you think you can make it?”

“…Tsk, you’re also a repeat student.”

“Am I like you? I purposely repeated a year, and you… well, for now, you haven’t made it. Anyway, Seoul National University is tough.”

“I will go. Or… you don’t have to go to Seoul National University. I’ll work hard to distract you ♥”

Saying that, I leaned slightly on Geon-woo.

Isn’t it more reasonable to pull Geon-woo down rather than to study hard myself?

“Hmph, your intentions are always like that. Did you follow me to the cram school for that? So malicious, so mean.”

“Hmph… Think whatever you want.”

Of course, I had no real intention of causing trouble.

Even the bet about pulling him down was just an excuse to keep visiting Geon-woo.

The suggestion to practice being a couple for a year was because I wanted to experience what it feels like to be a real couple.

So, if possible, I wanted to continue being together in the future.

To do that, I needed to study hard.

With that determination, I took out my problem set.

But I dozed off throughout the lecture, sinking into a deep sleep within just 15 minutes.

“It’s too much for you.”

“Mmm…”

Around lunchtime, after the lecture ended, Geon-woo and I left the academy. Still feeling drowsy, I yawned repeatedly… Studying certainly wasn’t easy.

“Still, it seems like you’re sincere even while dozing off. Are you really serious about this?”

“Of course.”

“…Do you want to go there too, to Seoul National University?”

Fool.

Because I want to go to the same university as you.

“Then I should definitely aim for the physical education college admissions. My grades are already in good shape, but the regular admission quota for the physical education college isn’t that high… The problem is the practical skills. I guess I should start preparing for the practical skills again.”

Dung-geon was foolishly oblivious, yet he earnestly pondered like a fool.

It was subtly nice to have someone worry about such things. So, I teased him a little.

“But it’s all because of someone that I’m in this situation. I don’t even know what I should prepare for in the practical exam.”

“Well, since you originally wanted to be a martial artist, how about looking into women’s martial arts?”

“Ugh, do I really have to do something like playing house with those girls for real?”

“Coming from you, as a girl, that sounds incredibly strange, doesn’t it? And right now, you should start with building up your basic physical strength, shouldn’t you?”

“Well, that’s true…”

Dung-geon had become quite sturdy now, but in the past, he was not like that at all. Even Dung-geon, who was supposed to be a man, was easily overpowered in terms of strength back then. If a man who hadn’t trained at all could be overpowered to the point of being sexually assaulted, becoming a martial artist would be difficult, even if it was in women’s martial arts. I wonder if I should ask Dad for help. Unlike when I was a man, my relationship with Dad wasn’t that bad now. When I was a man, it seemed like he gave up on me, not listening and constantly going astray, but when I became a woman, his attitude changed.

At the very least, it seemed like he was concerned about me. Perhaps it was a slight change that occurred when my memory changed from being a man to a woman. Or maybe he had been secretly worried about me even when I was a man.

“Shall we go to the gym together after our academy ends today?”

“Sure, we agreed to work out together. Well… we used to work out together every day anyway.”

“You pervert.”

“That’s not something you, who tempted me first, should say.”

As they bantered, they walked along the street lined with restaurants. It was lunchtime, and they were starting to get hungry. That’s what Dung-geon said first.

“We were going to have tteokbokki, right? Let’s go to a snack bar.”

“What are you going to have?”

“I’ll have spicy stir-fried pork. Extra spicy.”

“Oh, that’s manly of you.”

“Well, you were originally a man too.”

“Hmph, I’m a woman now. And strangely enough, I don’t really feel like having stir-fried pork.”

Is it true that women and men prefer different foods? I don’t dislike stir-fried pork, but strangely, I wanted something spicier.

“What’s this, are you pregnant or something?”

“No way! But… what if I were?”

“What?!”

“Why are you so surprised? I didn’t actually do it.”

“Phew, is that so.”

So this is the kind of reaction one gets when they say they’re pregnant. I guess I’d react the same way.

But I felt a bit awkward. Ever since last year, without missing a single day, we’ve been together, and now if I said I was pregnant, he’d be this shocked.

Taking responsibility… Of course, that wouldn’t exist, right?

“If I did get pregnant, you should take responsibility.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“I said you should take responsibility if I got pregnant.”

“…Really?”

“So, you’d just fake it?”

“Why would you…?”

“Why? So you can cause an accident and not take responsibility? Do I seem that trashy to you?”

“Well, um… that’s not it, but…”

It was confusing.

He’ll take responsibility.

Could that be a proposal?

“You’ve already messed up your life enough, I don’t want to mess it up further. I have no ill feelings towards you. Still, you do use contraception properly, right?”

“Uh-huh…”

“Alright then. But if by any chance something goes wrong, don’t hide it, tell me.”

No, that couldn’t happen.

Gunwoo is probably just feeling a bit guilty or responsible towards me.

Even though he’s been with me for a year, fundamentally, he’s a very good kid.

…I’m different. I am.

“Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“No… I’m just thankful for everything.”

“…?”

“Alright, let’s go over there.”

To change the subject, I led Gunwoo into a nearby snack bar.

Soon, the lady from the restaurant came to take our order.

“Are you two together?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, you came with your boyfriend.”

“Huh? Oh, well…”

I glanced at Gunwoo and then spoke.

“…Yes, we go to the same academy.”

“Oh, it’s a prep academy in front. Many couples attend academies together. It’s nice to gather people of similar age, anyway, I could tell right away that you two make a great couple. Hoho.”

“Yes…”

“Alright, what would you like to order?”

“One serving of tteokbokki, two rolls of kimbap, and please subtract the pork from the spicy stir-fried pork.”

“Sure, I’ll get that for you right away.”

A couple… That’s how we appear to others.

I was happy. But I wanted to know how Gunwoo felt about it. So, I looked at him. He didn’t seem upset or angry.

Instead, he seemed to avoid eye contact as if he were embarrassed.

Honestly, I wonder if I don’t like it… Is that how it is?

Thinking like that made me feel good for no reason.

“Hey, do you like it? They say we’re a couple.”

“Ugh. Ma’am, you’re seriously mistaken.”

“Why? We are technically a couple, aren’t we?”

“Technically fake.”

“Hmph.”

I can’t be honest.

I looked happily at the ‘fake’ boyfriend whom I couldn’t be honest with.