episode_0011

*

“Yes… I asked the cat…”

Lucia’s voice was trembling with anxiety.

Her already timid eyes avoided my gaze more than usual, and her already frail body trembled like a skinny tree branch shivering in the cold.

I realized that Lucia was trembling with fear.

What was she afraid of?

Her own choice to give her body to a devil? Or perhaps my scolding, which she might expect after what she’d done?

Maybe it was because she still remembered being beaten by me while she was possessed.

“…”

I hesitated, unsure what to say.

Why did you give your body to a devil?

Why are you so afraid?

Why didn’t you say anything to me?

There were so many things I wanted to say, but they were all questions demanding answers from her, so I could only shut my mouth.

After a moment of thought, I decided to simply tell her about the reality that was coming.

“Lucia… you probably know this already, but…”

“…”

“You’re going to Hell.”

“…”

Lucia’s trembling body slowly stiffened.

Had she steeled herself to the harsh reality, or was she terrified of the future that awaited her?

She still didn’t say anything.

She probably had nothing to say.

Now that she had confessed with her own mouth, she was a sinner who could not be denied according to the doctrines.

It wasn’t just that she was possessed by a devil, but she had willingly given her body to one, so if Lucia died someday, her soul would surely not reach God’s side and would fall into Hell.

Even I, as a Priest, couldn’t think of a way to cleanse her sin.

But the way she looked, even after committing such a great sin, was just a weak girl to my eyes.

Why did this poor soul trapped in this small body commit such an act?

Frustrated, I sighed, swept my hand over my face, and continued.

“I might be able to save you… but it will probably be difficult.”

“… I’m sorry…”

I shook my head.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“… Huh?”

Lucia slowly turned her head towards me.

“You heard me right. You don’t have to apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong to me.”

“What… do you mean… You’re not going to… blame me?”

I smiled faintly as I looked at her.

It was a smile I made to reassure her as much as possible, but I couldn’t stop the exhausted look that came from experiencing so much these last two days.

I slowly opened my mouth again.

“Of course, you have sinned. That’s an undeniable fact. It’s a kind of sin that can never be forgiven…”

“… I know.”

I gently grasped Lucia’s hand.

Her hands were very small and cold.

“But I won’t judge you. That’s God’s role.”

“… Father.”

“My role is to protect you, Sola, and Anna. That hasn’t changed, even now.”

Pushing aside the many questions swirling in my head, and the even more doubts, I comforted her.

I wanted her to know that whatever she had done, I was still by her side.

I wanted to embrace the fear and weakness she held as much as possible.

“…”

A few drops of water fell onto Lucia’s lap as she hung her head.

Was it going to rain?

I slowly looked up at the sky.

It was so clear that it was almost absurd.

“Father.”

Along with her voice, I heard a rustling sound.

It was the sound of fabric crumpling and unfolding.

As I turned my head towards her again, I saw Lucia slowly unbuttoning her nun’s habit at the chest.

“… Lucia?”

“…”

Lucia silently unbuttoned the front of her habit, revealing her neck.

“… Lucia.”

“Please… look.”

Her pure white neck was stained with red handprints that fit my hand perfectly, and near her collarbone, there were two stars with seven thorns overlapping each other.

It looked like a wolf’s claws had scratched her.

“… This is,”

“Even so, are you… still going to forgive me?”

Lucia’s voice and expression were filled with resignation and self-loathing.

It wasn’t regret for committing such an act, but rather a mocking of her own life.

Overlapping stars of seven points.

The mark of a devil.

The seal of a servant of a devil, a slave of desire, and an unforgivable villain was left in vivid red on her pale skin.

I slowly reached out my hands toward her neck.

Lucia let out a miserable laugh and slowly raised her head.

It seemed she thought I was going to strangle her.

But I took hold of the ties of her garment with my fingertips, rearranged them, and fastened the buttons for her.

Then, I said softly.

“There’s no need to forgive.”

“… Ha,”

“Don’t blame yourself like that. I don’t need to forgive you. As I said a moment ago, I won’t judge you.”

“Because God will punish me?”

“… And, you’re already scolding yourself enough. So much so that there’s no need for me to further lash out at your heart.”

“… Ugh,”

Lucia’s face slowly contorted.

“… Thank you… Father…”

“… Yeah.”

“… I’m sorry… I did wrong…”

Lucia’s head rested weakly on my chest.

I wordlessly hugged her head.

I felt how small she was even more vividly, and my heart grew heavy.

The marks of my violence would remain clearly on her small body.

Some of them would even be from when she was much smaller than she is now.

My heart is heavy.

A time of destruction where the world is collapsing under monsters, and even this small monastery hidden at the end of the world is touched by the hand of a devil.

Perhaps the end of the human era.

I prayed silently for Lucia in my heart.

May God forgive her.

*

“… There wasn’t really a reason.”

After a long time, Lucia, who had calmed down, slowly began to speak.

Why she chose to go to Kunat and give her body to a devil.

She slowly confessed in a calm tone.

“Just once, I wanted to run again, even if it was just once…”

“…”

“You said the world has already been destroyed… If it’s all over anyway, if I die like this… before I die, just once more… with my own legs…”

I shook my head painfully.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand her heart… but she picked the wrong person.

She shouldn’t have accepted the devil’s offer.

“You can’t trust what Kunat says…”

“Father… you’ll say… how can I trust a devil’s words… but… we… we saw you come back covered in blood.”

“…”

“It’s true that monsters appeared, right? It’s also true that the villagers… everyone… disappeared…”

“Lucia, that’s…”

“Actually, I… was kind of relieved.”

Lucia interrupted me and continued.

“I don’t know when it will be, but someday… someday I’ll get better…”

“…”

“When I get better, I’ll climb hills with Sola… carry things with Anna… help you with your work…”

“…”

“But… you said the world has been destroyed… I don’t know when the monsters will reach this place… but if I’m going to die anyway, I thought, since my body is already tainted by a devil, wouldn’t it be okay to just give it away…? That’s what I thought.”

Lucia smiled weakly.

“Back then… when my body was first taken by a devil. I remember everything… even what I did.”

“…”

“And, I also remember how I moved…”

“Lucia…”

Lucia nodded.

“Yes, Father… that’s right.”

Then, she slowly got up from the bench and walked forward.

She wasn’t limping.

Perhaps it was the same when she approached me while I was sitting on the bench a moment ago.

I could only sigh at my damn perception.

In the dazzling morning sunlight,

She stood on one foot and spun around in front of me.

It was a daring movement that I couldn’t have imagined with her physical condition as I knew it.

The skirt of her nun’s habit floated upwards and then slowly settled down again.

Lucia, who had slowly put her foot back on the ground, looked at me and smiled brightly.

The brilliant sunlight reflected off her pale hair and skin, and it seemed as if a dazzling white light was surrounding her.

Against the backdrop of the blue sea and the bright blue sky, she standing on the green hill looked like the freshest woman in the world.

Although I knew that it was nothing more than a light dangling from the tentacle at the end of an ogre’s head, a bait placed in front of a devil’s mouth,

Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but look at her regaining her healthy body because she was so beautiful.

Lucia said to me.

She didn’t stutter anymore.

“I wanted to do things like this.”

“…”

“I summoned the devil who murdered my neighbors and devoured my mother into my body.”

Her smile was beautiful.

At the sight of that dazzlingly beautiful figure, I could only turn away with a troubled expression.