episode_0009

Suddenly, the scenery of the capital that Yeoni had described to me in the past came to mind.

Compared to that place, our village must have seemed like a smelly barn.

If that’s the case, then the days we spent living among the lowly in that barn may have truly been a nightmare.

I was born in this place, but Yeoni simply fell to the ground unlucky.

Even though her relationship with her family was not good, it was still the place where she was born and raised.

Naturally, she must have never thought about going back.

During her struggle with the disease, there was no other choice, so she reluctantly accepted her relationship with me and life in the village.

Particle hypersensitivity would naturally be healed when one blossomed into a mage, but since there was no precedent, it was called an incurable disease.

But as her body miraculously recovered, Yeoni was faced with a choice.

And she chose the opposite direction from where I was, the direction she was originally supposed to go.

Now, someone like me, an insensitive person, was no longer needed by her.

Furthermore, it’s true that I really couldn’t protect Yeoni.

Instead of making a rational decision, I foolishly followed her into danger.

Despite giving it my all, I couldn’t even trip up the demons, only ending up fainting miserably.

If the soldiers hadn’t arrived in time, we might have truly turned into cold ashes by now.

The moment of betrayal was so cruel, but it’s not unreasonable for affection to wane after seeing such a pitiful sight.

…So when I think about it, everything may have just returned to where it started.

Our past was just a one-night dream of innocence, and the current situation might just be the future arriving a little early.

Struggling to be rational, I comforted myself.

If I were to draw a conclusion from the events of the past, it’s only natural for Yeoni to leave me.

But such efforts always ended up scattered and in vain.

Sorrow always pierced through my heart on its own.

Now, my heart hurt more than my body.

I was filled with so much resentment.

I resented the ones who attacked our village and made innocent people suffer.

I resented Yeoni for reopening the wounds that had barely healed.

But what I resented the most was myself, who had experienced everything but still couldn’t wake up from the dream.

While hospitalized, I agonized over my suffering in the cold, bleak hospital room.

Since there was no one left to share the burden, all the pain was solely mine.

And when my body was finally recovering,

I understood the meaning of Yeoni’s words a little more.

“…The wound was so deep… Just recovering without touching the facial nerve was lucky…”

The nurse said cautiously as she unwrapped the bandages on my face.

I stood in front of the mirror with my still shaky legs.

The mirror reflected my pitiful appearance clearly.

Naturally, my gaze fell on my face.

I could easily see the unfamiliar grotesqueness that was not there before.

From the left cheekbone to right next to the nose, a long scar was visible under my eyes.

The evidence of my weakness and patheticness was right there.

“Ugh… Ugh…”

The moment I faced the scar, I felt a strong urge to tear off my skin.

“Ugh… Ugh…”

Cold sweat dripped, and blood rushed.

My vision narrowed, and my heart pounded wildly.

Unable to bear it any longer, I fled from the mirror as if escaping.

Since that day, I never looked at a mirror again.

“Think about it again. What can you do by going back now? At best, you’ll just be good prey for monsters and outlaws.”

“But…”

“Didn’t I already promise you? I’ll provide you with enough wages and a place to stay. It’s a favor without any ulterior motives, so stop with the unnecessary words and just accept it.”

Even in agony, time continued to flow.

Before I knew it, I was able to move around lightly without any issues.

Since it was a role that couldn’t continue to cause trouble, I expressed my gratitude to the doctor and conveyed my desire to return to the village.

After all, that was the only place I could go to at the moment.

But the doctor clung to me desperately.

The reason was that I still needed more treatment.

He noticed that I was reluctant to accept free treatment, so he even offered to arrange a job at the hospital for me.

However, not only the place to stay but also the high wages he proposed were overly generous favors for a minor.

So I politely declined, but the doctor tried to persuade me again by changing the conditions.

“Haha, right. It’s not polite to hold onto a patient, so I’ll stop here for today. I’ll come back tomorrow, so think about it until then.”

Until the very moment the doctor left, he didn’t let go of his regrets.

Although he said it was a favor without any ulterior motives, by this point, I couldn’t help but think differently.

Suddenly, I remembered that the doctor had shown a great interest in my constitution before.

Perhaps he wanted to satisfy his curiosity from back then in exchange for his favor.

Even if he had different intentions, considering the favor I received, I could provide such a small favor as my body.

But at the moment, my mind was filled with the thought of wanting to see the village again.

Since I had recovered enough to walk, there was no reason to delay.

So I took action without hesitation.

I might come back soon anyway, but just in case, I told the hospital staff that I would take a walk around the city for rehabilitation and headed out of the hospital.

When I thought about how the doctor had treated me, if I had honestly stated my intentions, he might have prevented me from going out altogether.

It was only after leaving the hospital that I could truly face the city’s scenery.

Although it was a small satellite city, it was still a city.

The streets were wide and clean, and the buildings boasted elegant aesthetics.

People hurriedly walked the streets, and the distant walls were two to three times higher than those in the village.

…If even a small satellite city was like this, there was no need to mention the capital.

So it was only natural for anyone to feel the desire to return.

Lost in such gloomy thoughts, I found myself standing in front of a security checkpoint.

I waited in line, and soon it was my turn, and the guard at the gate casually asked about my business.

Still wearing a cast on my arm and perhaps because I was going out, the security check was relatively lax.

I mentioned the name of the neighboring village as my destination, circled around it, and was able to leave the gate without any problems.

There was a considerable distance from here to the village, but since I had no money or means of transportation, I had no choice but to walk the road.

Since time was limited, I quickened my pace.

Passing through well-maintained roads near the city,

Passing through unpaved roads,

Passing through a serene forest,

I continued to walk through the rugged hills.

As I walked and walked, before I knew it, the sun had set beyond the horizon, and the faint light of the moon and stars illuminated the world.

Normally, there would be a curfew due to monster attacks, but at that moment, I didn’t care about such things.

How many hours had I walked like that?

By the time my legs were aching and my breath was coming in gasps, it was already…

Finally, I was able to arrive at our village, which I had longed to see.

“…Ah…ugh…”

However, what greeted me was not the guards or friends, but the walls that were left neglected and crumbling just as they were back then.

The old but sturdy walls that once protected the village were now a mere shadow of their former selves.

As I took in the ruins, it felt like the acrid smoke and metallic scent were once again filling my senses.

I entered the village through the gaping hole where the main gate used to be.

A few solar-powered street lamps that were still intact sporadically illuminated the ground.

I followed the familiar path, trudging along.

Soon, the severely damaged scenery of the village began to come into view.

A grocery store with all its windows shattered, revealing the interior.

A movie theater where projectors and small trinkets rolled on the floor.

A school that was once full of life and vibrancy, now weighed down by silence.

With each sight, my heart grew heavier.

I stumbled over the ruins several times, almost falling, but I did not stop my steps.

If I just passed that alley ahead, I would be able to see our longed-for home.

“Ah…ugh…ahh…”

However, as I turned the corner, I couldn’t help but stop in my tracks.

What remained there were the remnants of something collapsed and decaying.

Only a few remaining skeletal structures barely hinted at what used to be our home.

When I averted my gaze, I noticed a strange structure erected in the small garden in front of the house.

I forced my trembling legs to approach.

In the garden stood a small gravestone with inscriptions carved into it.

And as if it were so obvious, the gravestone bore the names of three people.

Mom, Jin-ho, and Ina’s names.

“Ugh…ugh…ugh…”

I tried to steel my heart in my own way, but that determination had long since crumbled away.

All I could do was sit there, endlessly sobbing.

The things I once loved were truly no longer in this world.

I sat there for hours.

My tears had dried up to the point where they barely flowed.

But the sadness that remained was more than what I had shed.

My mind was numb, unable to think rationally.

I only thought of one thing.

If everything I loved had left me, then perhaps I didn’t need to stay either…

Fortunately, it didn’t take long to come to a conclusion.

I looked around the ground. A glass shard that seemed suitable for my purpose caught my eye.

Without hesitation, I picked up the shard with my hand.

I confirmed that the sharp end was properly aimed at my neck and raised my arm.

“Kid, that’s not respectful to those who waited for you, isn’t it?”

But at that moment.

Suddenly, a rough and hoarse voice pulled me back.