episode_0008

It was surprising that I could read characters I had never seen before so easily thanks to the abilities listed in the [Abilities Window], but I started to be more concerned about the additional information written below them.

That was none other than… the moment when it was proven that there was a being called “God” with that one sentence.

＇Damn..＇

‘Of course… it existed.’

Excited.. Excited..

The blood circulates rapidly through the trembling heart and the pounding feels more vivid than I thought.

If there really was a being called “God,” I wanted to ask that shameless face dozens and hundreds of times why he had abandoned me in my past life at the crossroads of making such a terrible choice.

What on earth did I do wrong? Even if I did something wrong, it was only right for me to be punished like that.

The thing that deeply hurt my parents in my past life was none other than the open wound that my existence had cut deep.

I wanted to ask that question a hundred and a thousand times. However, there was another fact that could be known through this sentence about the extinct “god.”

＇Are you saying that this is a god who has now disappeared?

‘..why?’

Yes.

That’s such a cruel fact to me.

Now, the being called “God” was portrayed as if it no longer existed.

I rub my trembling eyes with both hands and check again whether the sentence is incorrect.

Ssss..

The red rim of my eyes feels stinging.

Fingers that are thinner than expected.

Of course, unstable breathing…

I can feel the soreness around my eyes not going away yet.

＇Fuck you..＇

So who should listen to this growing sense of injustice?

I take another deep breath and try to calm my shaking hands. There was a need to think more rationally than ever before.

I am no longer the young me who doesn’t know anything about this life… Am I a mature person who had the personality of an adult in my past life? Because we are people.

‘Let’s stay calm…’

‘I’m just thinking rationally.’

I stop thinking for a moment and control my mind and body through deep breathing.

‘Calmly as usual…’

Perhaps the reason why I was able to move naturally and make proactive decisions as if I was used to it even in such unexpected situations was because of my judgment and response ability to adapt to any environment, which I had no choice but to acquire through rigorous training during the five years of my previous life in social life. Maybe it was because I was raised.

Naturally, thanks to the insight I had developed since childhood, I was able to easily overcome the difficult social environment as if it had given me a natural talent.

Me in my previous life, where I was able to see and learn more.. A strong mindset to endure when scolded or scolded by a superior, and a work ethic that is accompanied by wise judgment to move efficiently.

Even the mental training that allows you to be recognized for making your own work rather than taking on other people’s work…

I did it all myself.

I ended up doing things that were possible only after brainwashing myself like that. Even though I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, I persisted for five years and was promoted to a damned assistant manager.

＇I’m getting angry thinking about it again..＇

It’s a very unfair situation… Nevertheless, after taking a deep breath, I slowly gather my thoughts and read the [Ability Window] that appears before my eyes again.

『Ability Window』▼

□{Divine Magic}

Non-attribute magical power can be used.

□{Limit Break}▽ – {Selectable}

By selecting a specific ability level, you can grow without limits.

□{Sixth Sense}▽ – {Cannot be viewed}

It enhances the senses of touch, taste, sight, hearing, and smell.

□{Circuit settings} – {Conditions not met}

You can create abilities that reflect your previous life’s occupation.

□{Grant} – {Conditions not met}

It can be strengthened by being given knowledge of how to speak ancient languages.

□{Check information}

You can easily check if you recognize the information on everything except the person.

□{Languages of the world}

As the final gift from the now extinct “□■□ God”. You can understand any language as long as you recognize it.

‘God..horsepower?’

Aside from that, except for the fact that I had a new power called magical power, compared to the abilities in the [Ability Window], which seemed clever, the parts that could actually be used were very limited.

I couldn’t help but think, ‘It’s not as bad as I thought..’ There are times when I have no idea how to use the unknown power called {Divine Magic}, but if I know how to use it, I will be able to sense and use other abilities as well.

Of course, this is just my guess.

My uneasy feelings and complex and subtle emotions are strangely mixed, and now I feel frustrated. Of course, my head hurts.

Is it because I thought too much?

Or is it because I felt too many emotional ups and downs today?

Trying to control the mental fatigue, I hold my eyebrows for a moment and close the [Ability Window] that flashes before my eyes. Now I don’t want to see this anymore…

‘Head hurts..’

If they are clearly special, then of course they are special abilities. Except that the slight expectations I had before opening the [Ability Window] were dashed in vain.

That’s why I expected fire to come out of my hands or to move as fast as lightning, like in movies or fantasy comics. To be honest, I didn’t have any expectations. I also admit it.

It may not seem like it, but as a man, I was also a person with a romantic fantasy.

But it was just the moment when I realized again that they were not applicable to me. It is true that I was disappointed.

‘I’m tired..’

I hug myself tightly with the blanket and try to get lost in the memories of my past life.

＇My parents in my past life… wouldn’t get along well, right?

I come face to face with the reality that I tried so hard to forget and did not want to admit. No… it’s a cruel reality that we have to accept now. I regretted it a long time ago. Now was the time to make a rational decision and decide how to live in the future. I couldn’t live my whole life immersed in such gloomy thoughts.

‘Let’s come to our senses..’

I didn’t want to end my life in vain after trying hard like I did in my previous life. I didn’t even want to live my life immersed in such depressing thoughts. It is a natural change in thinking as humans always want to live a better life.

Suddenly, I remember the advice my father from my past life gave me out of habit. The saying, ‘Don’t give up.’

‘Father is right..’

‘I can’t continue living with such a heavy heart..’

I had to change.

No, it will change.

And it will come true.

You will have a life with no regrets in the future.

You will no longer exclude others and create more diverse relationships.

You will have countless experiences you have never had before.

Yes. I wanted to live like that. Maybe I wanted to live like that in my past life as well.

It was a moment when I became convinced that the lakeside I had seen earlier had played a part in making me like this.

＇Even if you regret it for a hundred days, nothing will change..’

I am confident that my current life will become brighter if I use the memories of my past life to move forward.

‘okay.. ‘

＇The filial piety that I couldn’t do in my past life… I’m doing it for my parents in this life…’

Perhaps this too may be a contradictory thought. I had cleverly destroyed my own independence in order to compromise this unrealistic situation, but now, at this moment, I had to make that promise. Because this is another life given to me…

***

The comfort of a soft, lumpy bed isn’t that bad. As I think about tomorrow’s future, it feels so unfamiliar to me to have laid down comfortably like this, so even though I’m mentally exhausted, I can’t sleep again.

＇This is also serious. now..’

At this level, the fact that I grew up as a person who does not know how to rest may be revealed. I lose my sanity and struggle to tuck myself into the dark blanket.

Susssseu..

My current life, which is richer than I thought, was unconsciously giving me the feeling of being liberated from the shackles of poverty that had bound me so much in my past life. I didn’t hate it. Since I didn’t have much, this change was small but big.

But, as was natural, the guilt that followed came with a great deal of guilt. It was as if these feelings were denying the very existence of my previous life.

Even if that is the case, this is also a reality that cannot be denied. It is something that cannot be helped as it is a future that we must all live in at the same time. So I decide to accept it.

＇What should I do tomorrow?＇

I was so excited that I had the option of not having to go to work.

As the lord of this village and the son of a trustworthy mother, if I live based on the memories of my past life, then surely…

‘wait for a sec..’

‘Reliable… mother?’

‘The lord of the village?’

At that moment, something that passed quickly through my mind woke me up from the moment I was about to fall asleep! Stand up.

dump..

＇Information about this world… is woefully insufficient.＇

Even if the memories of this life were maintained without losing them, it made no sense for some reason that I couldn’t remember specifically what kind of world this was.

My current age is 13. I was even born in this mansion and met a friend of the same age… Of course, all I could remember was that I had always grown up by the side of my family and female knights.

That’s why it was even more strange.

How did I live my life without doubting it and taking it for granted?

When I tried to check the few books on the bookshelf to find clues to the mystery, I found an unknown children’s book called [The Black Knight] or a strange book called [How to Sewing]. Books, of course…

It even consisted of books that only girls would read, such as [All About the Tea Party]… The book I wanted was not there anywhere.

Come to think of it..

Am I this feminine in this life? I have enjoyed reading books. Even my hobby is sitting quietly in my room and sewing with my father. I didn’t want to admit it. No… maybe it’s masculine?

Naturally, confusion about my sexual identity began to come to me.

I couldn’t decide what was right and what was wrong.

Why did I come to naturally encounter and like this kind of thing? The more I looked back on my memories of this life, the more I kept hearing questions about an inexplicable sense of disconnection, but no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with a good reason.

It’s just that I took these hobbies and entertainment for granted in my current life and encountered them naturally, so I didn’t think it was strange at all.

＇It’s not a world where men and women are opposed..’

*

*

*

‘uh..???’

The relationship between my father and mother this morning that suddenly comes to mind, the situation where the men take charge of all the work and manage the mansion, and the sight of most of the women wearing armor and swords that make them look like knights…

There was clear physical evidence and speculation that left no room for error.

＇Is there enough possibility..?＇

No… I was sure.