episode_0008

Step by step, step by step. I can feel the earth beneath the spike. It’s firm. And welcoming. How long has it been since I stood in the batter’s box for a practice game?

“Stop messing around and focus.”

“I know, okay.”

As expected, Rosby didn’t allow me to get lost in my thoughts. I slowly began my routine that I hadn’t done in a while.

I wipe my batting gloves once and raise my hand to smell the scent of the gloves. The strong smell of rubber clears my mind. Then, two swings. I don’t remember when I started this hitting routine every time I entered a game.

Doing this routine made me realize that I was back in the batter’s box.

Standing on the mound is Kim Won-ho. He was smiling slyly. Maybe he’s smiling like that because it’s been a while since he faced me? It had indeed been a while since I hit his pitches.

“That guy. Splitter.”

“Stop talking and just tell me the pitch.”

“Okay. Don’t forget that guy stole your first love.”

“…Not yet!”

“Idiot. That’s enough to count as stealing.”

Damn it… Kim Won-ho, who has become Hyuna’s daughter-in-law, and Rosby, who teases me about it, are both damn bastards.

“Fastball.”

Rosby, standing behind Kim Won-ho, signals the grip and Kim Won-ho winds up and throws the ball.

Pop!

The fast ball in the late 140s makes a cheerful sound as it touches the glove. I instinctively looked at the home plate umpire.

“Strike!”

The coach, watching the home plate umpire, calls out “Strike!” A sharp fastball diving towards the knees. Probably not an easy pitch to hit.

“You can’t hit even if I tell you?”

“You just watched the first pitch?”

“Stop it…”

“Can you at least tell me the location? Just give me a rough idea of where the catcher’s glove is.”

If Kim Won-ho’s control wasn’t good, it wouldn’t matter, but since he’s the team’s ace, his control is decent. There must be a reason he wasn’t a first-round draft pick.

“Inside, fastball. This guy really underestimates you, huh?”

Two consecutive same pitches? Like Rosby said, it seemed like Kim Won-ho was underestimating me. Can you hit my pitch with such arrogance? The mix of balls seemed to contain the inherent pride of a pitcher.

If it were the old me, even if I had guessed that way, I wouldn’t have been able to hit it. I didn’t have the game sense back then. But now it’s different. Rosby’s batting sense that he has honed up to now remains in my hands.

Kim Won-ho’s left leg goes up, and his right hand hidden in the glove this time is tucked behind him before being unleashed towards me at lightning speed. At a timing that is familiar yet unfamiliar, I instinctively swung the bat.

Crack!

“He got it!”

As the bat made a cheerful sound and the ball flew, I sprinted towards first base at full speed.

“Run! Run!”

At the shout of the first base coach, I stepped on first base and turned sharply towards second base. The second baseman and shortstop were frozen, looking towards the outfield. Hasn’t the ball landed yet? Glancing at the outfield, I saw that even all the outfielders were standing still.

“Hey! Stop running!”

“Wow! Jimaengho! Jimaengho!”

“What’s wrong with Maengho hyung?!”

Finally, the noise from the ground reaches us. A bustling dugout in contrast to the frozen fielders.

“Hey. Are you taking some medicine these days? What’s with the homer? If it’s something good, let’s share it together.”

Kim Won-ho jokes as he watches me standing on second base. Even though he would have scratched his face if it weren’t a practice game or if it weren’t me, seeing him laugh and joke after hitting a home run after a long time made me feel strange.

“No need for medicine.”

After expressing my strange feeling with a pause and a finger gesture, I slowly jogged towards the base again.

“Nice home run.”

After stepping on home plate and high-fiving the coach, it finally hit me that I hit a home run.

“It seems like your batting has improved, right? Look. Since you have basic power, you can hit long balls comfortably.”

If you knew that well, why didn’t you suggest it to the coach?

“Ah…. Yes.”

After dryly responding to the senior coach who thought he hit a home run because of his coaching, I sat on the bench.

“Kid. How many years has it been since you hit a home run? You don’t seem too happy about it for something like that?”

“Ah…. It still doesn’t feel real.”

“Yeah. That could happen. But don’t get too cocky just because you hit a home run in a practice game. Got it? Now you need to go to college or somewhere, right?”

“Then please let me play as a starter.”

“If you keep playing like today, I’ll put in a good word with the coach.”

“Thank you.”

Senior coach… This guy is similar to the coach. He knows my situation clearly but just talks without taking action. Saying that nagging sisters are more annoying, now this senior coach, who pretends to be a top coach, is also irritating.

Hmm… Is he doing this to get back at the coach? Thinking that, Hyojin noona suddenly came to mind.

“That girl had a good body. Even monkeys might be decent? Hehe, maybe I should’ve tried her when I was active.”

Thinking about the time when we played dice with Hyojin noona at the coach’s house, it felt like blood was rushing to my lower body.

“Sir, let’s focus on the game.”

“Focus on what. Think about yourself first.”

“…Ahem.”

As Rossbi and I chatted, the next batter was lightly out, and the offense and defense changed.

“Mangho, let’s focus only on defense. You can do well, right?”

“Yes. I will do my best.”

“No, no. Not just do your best, but do it well. Got it?”

“I understand.”

It’s disgusting how they’re pretending to give advice now… Ignoring the senior coach’s nagging, I picked up my glove again and went back onto the field.

“Mangho, you’re substituted.”

“Already?”

After finishing the second at-bat and coming in, the senior coach informed me of the substitution. Although I retreated with a sacrifice bunt in the second at-bat, it was a good hit, so I went straight to the outfield, facing the center fielder.

There shouldn’t have been any mistakes in defense either…? Having been a candidate for a long time, I was suddenly afraid of the senior coach’s words.

“You did well today. But we need to try out other guys too.”

Perhaps sensing my anxiety, the senior coach reassured me. I could run more…

“You monkey bastard. Just for a practice game…”

“But I’m still anxious.”

“If the coaches weren’t idiots, they would have promoted you enough.”

“No matter how much I think about it, I feel like an idiot.”

If they weren’t idiots, they wouldn’t have left me on the bench for three years.

“Mangho, you played after a long time today, so I understand you’re excited, but let’s manage your expression, okay? We’re not here for club activities, you know?”

Damn it… When I didn’t relax my expression, the senior coach stiffened his expression and said.

“I’m sorry.”

I quickly bowed my head and apologized. My apology softened the senior coach’s expression, and he spoke gently again.

“The coach is looking favorably at you. You don’t have to show off like that today.”

“I understand. I think I’m a bit excited.”

“Yeah. Go wash your face in the bathroom.”

“Yes.”

At the senior coach’s words, I took off my batting gloves and left the dugout. Retreating like this in a match I participated in made me feel like tears were about to fall.

“Don’t be obsessed! Ah, that’s why I hate these kids.”

“But it’s been so long since I played…. I tried to control myself as much as possible, but… things aren’t going as planned.”

After my parents passed away and I underwent rehabilitation training at the hospital, building my body and persevering as a batting pitcher, stepping into the batter’s box was hard-won. I didn’t want to retreat like this.

“This is just the beginning. Just one step forward. Are you going to cry every time?”

“What if this is the last time? I’m trying to be confident, but it’s not working.”

‘This damn bastard. You think the successor of this body ends like this? That’s looking down on Rossby, right? Correct?’

‘But that’s not…’

‘Ha. How should I deal with this useless kid? Be as confident as when hitting Momokjo! You monkey bastard! Baseball is about mentality! Mentality!’

Up to now, seeing Rossby trying to comfort me with exaggerated gestures, laughter somehow escaped me. But have I grown fond of him after being together for about six months?

‘Thank you for comforting me.’

‘Comforting is bullshit.’

“Crying, laughing, acting all sorts of ways?”

“Why again?”

“Suddenly using honorifics?”

I habitually used honorifics thinking I was talking to Rossby, but the person who spoke to me wasn’t Rossby.

“Hyuna?”

“What brings you to the game today?”

It was Hyuna. It felt like I could see the figure I saw under the clothes she was wearing back then. Wasn’t it definitely a hallucination?

“Not answering? Are you ignoring people just because you’re coming out to play?”

Hyuna’s fox-like eyes narrowed as she looked at me.

“I’m not ignoring anyone. But aren’t you supposed to be training?”

“I came out during a break.”

“Did you come to see Wonho?”

“…Huh? What are you talking about?”

“No, you like Wonho.”

“W-What are you saying, I-I like him!”

Hyuna stuttered visibly flustered by my words.

“Do you have proof?”

Our school strictly prohibits romantic relationships. Since there was nothing good about rumors spreading, Hyuna came on strong.

“If you act like that at school, everyone will know.”

“…Act like what at school?”

“Don’t act like that at school unless necessary.”

Hyuna’s pupils shook.

Thinking that if I continued talking, I might reveal what I had seen, I answered like that and quickly left. No, did I end up saying everything?

“Why are you suddenly getting along well with that girl without flirting?”

“…That’s true.”

After hearing Rossby’s words, I realized that since watching that video, I didn’t feel any of the excitement or tingling I had felt before towards Hyuna.

“Love is truly fleeting.”

I thought I would love Hyuna forever, but seeing her masturbating while thinking of someone else made me lose affection instead…?

I felt like a fool for avoiding Hyuna all this time.

“Good attitude. Hehe. Love is a luxury for people like us.”

“What do you mean ‘people like us’? Don’t lump me in for no reason. It’s annoying.”

“You pretend to be clean while messing around with other men’s wives. You’re trash.”

“…That’s Rossby…!”

“Huh? Did I threaten to kill you if you didn’t mess around? The guy who was so excited he couldn’t wait to get started.”

There was no rebuttal. Because Rossby’s words were true. If I had been in my right mind, even if I had created such an atmosphere, I would have refused.

“That’s right! That’s it! But hey, anything happen? Let’s enjoy our one life. Look at me. If you don’t enjoy it properly, won’t you become a ghost following you around?”

“I thought I lived fully enough?”

“It means you haven’t lived enough yet.”

“…To avoid becoming like Rossby, I need to work harder.”

“That’s right. That girl will want to mess around someday too. Hehehe.”

Rossby was right. Since life is only once, it’s best to enjoy it as you go. While enjoying baseball, which I liked.

“Yeah. Let’s live like that.”

“Suddenly informal language…?”

“What! Saying let’s live while enjoying, do I have to use honorifics even to ghosts?”

“This worthless monkey bastard! Acting like he has no parents?! Should I pull out your intestines and jump rope with them?! Or grind them in a blender…! …! …!”

As soon as I opened my mouth, Rossby began to curse wildly as if it had been aegyo until now. It was swearing that I couldn’t understand, no, didn’t want to understand. Damn, isn’t there no honorifics in foreign countries?!

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Alright. You’re just a young punk. Do well. Got it?”

“…Yes.”

The curses that seemed to have come from hell finally ended after I apologized.