episode_0007

Is this the Kingdom of Rape?

Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!

The clear sound of wood knocking fills the silent forest.

I watched quietly as the flames burned, listening to the chanting of the monk.

– Namo Ratna Trayaya Namah Arya Jnana Sagara Vairochana…

They called it Siddharim.

Chanting sutras towards the body being prepared for burial, letting go of attachments to this world and wishing for a peaceful journey to the afterlife.

I don’t know where the afterlife is… I simply prayed for my mother’s comfort there.

I don’t know how time passed.

After finishing the makeup, I scattered my mother’s ashes at the spot where a purple flower bloomed, a flower she loved but whose name I didn’t know.

Where my father had departed first. Now, where my mother had joined him…

The flowers wilted in the early cold, looking desolate, but they would bloom brightly again when spring came and the weather warmed.

“Siju, are you feeling well?”

Lost in thought, the monk suddenly approached me and spoke.

“…Monk, thank you for your help. How can I repay this kindness…”

“Don’t worry about it. Your days in this world are numbered, why harbor any regrets or seek personal gain?”

…I don’t believe in religion, but if there were a Buddha, maybe it would be someone like this.

I am truly grateful.

Thanks to the monk, I was able to meet my mother and father… and bid them farewell together.

He gave me so much, yet like with my parents, I couldn’t do anything for the monk.

My mother refused any money for her makeup, graciously declining my attempts to pay her back.

Feeling guilty and unsure how to repay such kindness, I hesitated.

The monk smiled kindly.

“You seem to be in a lot of pain, Siju.”

His words pierced through me unexpectedly.

Reflected in the monk’s deep eyes, my face looked terribly worn.

Only then did I realize how much pain I was truly in.

…My mother wore her favorite pink blouse.

I felt sorry and pained for my mother, who lay alone in that cold place waiting for death, wearing her cherished clothes.

…In the kitchen, a table set with food long gone cold awaited.

It was too painful to imagine my son returning, perhaps hungry and finding only cold food laid out, waiting for a return that might never happen.

“I… am in a lot of pain, Monk.”

The monk nodded gently in response.

“…Would you like to hear an old man’s ramblings?”

And so, the monk’s soft voice echoed in my ears.

“Crying and grieving over partings is natural, but if we lock ourselves in that grief, we cannot find peace of mind. We only invite more suffering and harm upon ourselves.”

“….”

“If we don’t let go of sadness, we will only spiral further into misery. Crying for the dead falls under the dominion of sorrow, which is not what the deceased would want from the living.”

“….”

“Even if you live a hundred years, or even longer, whether poor or rich, ultimately everyone leaves this world, apart from their kin. A person’s departure from this world is simply a natural course of events.”

“….”

“Therefore, listen to the words of Arahan, cast off lamentation, and when you see the departed, think of them as having embarked on a journey from which they won’t return, and that’s all.”

“….”

“Just as a wise person quickly extinguishes a burning house with water, one must swiftly blow away sorrow like the wind blows away fluff, being wise, prudent, and skillful.

Because what the dead desire must surely be the happiness of the living.”

If you wish for happiness, you must remove the arrow of sadness embedded within yourself, such as regret and greed…

By doing so, peace will finally find its way into your heart.”

“……”

Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!

The clear sound of wooden clappers fades away.

I sat in silence for a long time, closing my eyes and pondering the monk’s words.

In the mountains, night falls swiftly.

The sky changes from yellow to dark, and suddenly, the beautiful full moon rises, casting its bright light upon me.

It was incredibly painful to realize that the space that always brought me happiness now bestowed upon me an equal amount of sorrow.

So I went out hunting again.

I am neither wise nor skillful.

I couldn’t swiftly rid myself of sorrow like cotton blown by the wind, as the monk had advised.

On my back, as I navigate the dark mountain, a long spear and a quiver of arrows are slung over my shoulders, with traps capable of catching large beasts tucked into my pack.

If someone were to see me, they might think I was out to hunt a tiger.

…

Yes. I am on my way to hunt a tiger.

My mother told me to live among people, gain wealth, have children, and live that way, but it seems I am an inevitable stranger.

The things I loved are no longer here.

Is loving someone ultimately about preparing for an equal amount of pain?

Because I loved my mother and father so much, parting with them was terrifying and painful.

Knowing that a meeting destined for separation would only cause each other harm,

I cannot love or show affection to anyone here.

I didn’t want to endure the pain myself or inflict it on others. I grew averse to it.

Now, the only place my heart truly points to is my family in Korea.

If I think of death as a distant journey where I can never return, then having traveled far to an unknown place, I might be considered dead to someone.

In that place I left, the things I love still remain.

My mother, sister, brother-in-law, and Hyun-kyung… there are people who love me.

Having learned how sad farewells can be, I must let them know that my absence is not a permanent separation but simply a long journey.

And… even to fulfill what my mother in this world desired.

To live peacefully among people, socialize, and follow her wishes, I had to go there.

That’s why I became a tiger.

It wasn’t because I gave up on life due to overwhelming sadness.

It was almost suicide, but paradoxically, it was to find the purpose of my life.

I had to confirm that it wasn’t just a coincidence that I ended up in this absurd world, that there was some purpose.

I understand. Most likely, I will die.

But what if I survive? What if some transcendental phenomenon prevents my death?

If that happens, then I will be able to have confidence.

And I must find the mission given to me.

Therefore, this is not an act of suicide but a challenge to my destiny.

I wanted to tell the being who sent me here.

If it is my fate to be here, if there is a goal I must achieve here, then you must save me, even at the cost of sacrificing probability, when I meet the tiger in any way possible.

However, if I simply fell here due to an inexplicable misfortune, then I wanted to calmly accept death rather than living a lifetime without a place in my heart for those I love and rejecting new people like a stranger.

At this moment when I have let go of all regrets, I thought that this very moment was the only one where I had to risk my life for my destiny.

Puff puff

“… Don’t do it.”

???

But what does that mean?

“Don’t do this! Please let go of this!”

Slap!

“Ah!”

“If you don’t want to get hit again, quickly follow me, you wench! If the wife says let’s go, you just follow along!”

“No, I don’t want this! I don’t want to do this! Please let go of me, just leave me alone, please… Please don’t do this…”

“This bitch is going against a husband as vast as the sky! Anyway, there’s nowhere to go alone, wench! What can a woman do alone in the mountains! I said I’ll be a husband, provide a good place to stay, and give you things to wear, so what’s the problem! That’s it! Go ahead and rebel all you want. In the end, you’ll have to obediently comply!”

“Why are you doing this…! I said we don’t need that kind of thing…. Sob, please just let go…”

“Oh, right, maybe just to be safe, I should stamp first, hehehe, just to make sure to firmly establish my position as the wife before leaving, so no one can say anything else, right?”

“Eek! Please don’t touch me, ugh! Don’t do it… sob!…. Father!…. Could someone… help me…. Please… sob sob sob don’t touch me… I said let go of this….”

“Haha, this old lady is quite spirited, hehe…. But she does have some character, maybe I should educate her a bit with the mother-in-law….”

……

Watching quietly to understand the situation, it truly couldn’t be more outrageous.

An elderly man was dragging a young woman who hadn’t put on a single layer of clothing as if coaxing a child to sleep….

Wow, can it really be this barbaric even in the Middle Ages?

No, isn’t this just a crime of abduction that should be condemned?

That bastard is just disgraceful….

Just then, the moonlight illuminated the man’s face.

“Huh? …. That guy?”

There’s no way you wouldn’t recognize that ugly face that had been around like a wheel on asphalt, except for Mr. Hansi, whom he had asked about the deer’s location not long ago.

He still hasn’t come to his senses after ruining his reputation, and now he’s taking advantage of a young maiden. That’s what came to mind.

Not all woodcutters are poor, but there’s a saying that most poor people are woodcutters.

However, even though it’s unclear how he made money, Mr. Han used to be a decent woodcutter,

but after doing despicable things to Sookja Nuna and Bunih, rumors spread throughout the neighborhood, and he lost everything.

Oh! Sookja Nuna was one of the many ladies who had offered her a job as a servant in the past. Bunih has a small mill house.

Due to the medieval community of mere gossip, it might be hard to understand why he fell from grace,

but here, modern people are so closely connected and intimate with their neighbors that it’s beyond imagination.

With a system similar to communal child-rearing in place, where the neighbor’s son is like your own, and the neighbor’s daughter is like your own.

Once a rumor spreads about which girl was mistreated by whom, village-wide ostracism begins.

Ostracism can be a cute term, but this behavior can truly kill a person.

Even a scumbag like Jodoo Soon would find it impossible to live anonymously or tough it out in modern times.

If this were the case, Jodoo Soon wouldn’t be able to buy a grain of rice even if he starved to death. Even if he died after hitting his head on a rock while walking, there would be no one to lament. He wouldn’t even be accepted at a temple.

So, the distressed grandmother of that house apparently went to great lengths to save her sorry son, even writing to the Gorydae to clear his name…. If it weren’t for that, somehow that guy would’ve been done for.

But despite all the efforts made, he couldn’t overcome his vile nature and ended up committing the act. What an ugly bastard.

With my sense of morality and the concept of a 21st-century modern person within me, this is something I absolutely cannot tolerate.

I stopped pondering and leaped forward, kicking towards the dirty face of the woodcutter, shouting.

“Is this the kingdom of rape? You son of a b****!”