episode_0007

When I first saw him, it was with a touch of curiosity: “Why *him*?” The “him” I’m referring to here is Hikagami Kyotarou-kun. By the way, I’m Watashima Chihana, probably slightly below average… a very ordinary person.

When we were in the same class in my first year of high school, I was a little anxious because I couldn’t quite fit in with my surroundings. Having failed at human relationships in middle school, I decided on a fresh start and chose Harejima High School, which was quite far from my house.

Most people choose public high schools because they’re generally cheap and close by. This means there are often many acquaintances from middle school, and most social circles are already established. Looking around the bustling classroom on the entrance ceremony day, I really thought I’d made a mistake.

Joining an already formed group is quite difficult for me.

Amidst that, two students shone brightly in my eyes.

In any school, there are always people who become the center of attention. They’re what you call “popular kids.”

Without even trying, people naturally gather around them, forming social circles, and before you know it, they’re at the top. Furuya Takeo and Yako Tomoe definitely fall into that category.

When two people from different classes gather in one classroom, it naturally becomes bright and lively. However, their objective seemed to be Kyotarou-kun, mentioned at the beginning, and he clearly doesn’t belong to the popular kid type.

I thought it was the perfect topic. When I casually asked a nearby girl, she told me those three were childhood friends. They had spent kindergarten, elementary school, and middle school together, and now high school too. “I see,” I thought as I watched, but I couldn’t shake a sense of unease.

Kyotarou-kun seemed to be the odd one out no matter how I looked at it.

The other two were successful both publicly and privately; that was obvious to anyone.

The destructive power of romantic rumors among students is immense, and hearing about the relationship between those three gave me an opening to join the group. On the surface, it felt like Takeo-kun’s fan club… but I was fine with that.

It was simply a means for me to build my social connections. Just by looking, I could tell that Takeo-kun was someone who would never be involved in my life.

I think there are people like that. Magazine models, actors active on TV. Super cool guys you spot on the train. They’re non-contact people; they live in their own worlds without ever speaking to or being spoken to.

If an ordinary person tries to mix in with them, they’ll eventually be consumed by the flames of jealousy and turn to ash.

That’s how dazzling they are, drawing gazes of envy.

It’s fine to admire them. They’re like idols, after all.

But I don’t think you should wish to be like them. We’re just ordinary people.

“Kyotarou-kun, you shouldn’t get in the way of those two.”

Perhaps it was also to create a topic of conversation. We wanted to see our idols shine. If Takeo-kun and Tomoe-chan became a couple, it would undoubtedly evolve into an inexhaustible subject.

Just like TV variety shows, people, especially us girls, love romance stories.

Our collective opinion was that “Kyotarou-kun is in the way.”

I spoke up because I was happy to be included. I wanted to contribute something as a member of the group. Otherwise, I’d be ostracized again. I’d lose my voice and return to a life of being ignored.

And I… I didn’t want that anymore.

“Takeo-kun and Tomoe-san are dating, apparently. So you should distance yourself from them, shouldn’t you? You even have to refrain from associating with them as friends now.”

The lie I told impulsively spread at an incredible speed. I was sure I had only told Kyotarou-kun. But someone who heard it spread it to a few others, and that spread further to other people.

Eventually, my lie transformed into a public truth.

The days after that were terrifying. I was scared to my core that the day would come when my lie reached Tomoe-chan or Takeo-kun’s ears, and they would curse me.

Because they were radiant people. I was no match for them, no matter what I said.

I failed again. Why did I tell that lie?

The day my lie would be exposed would eventually come. What would happen to me then? I looked down, terrified. Those were agonizing days when I spoke less and less… Yet, for some reason, my lie remained established as fact and never reached their ears.

No, I think it did reach them. Because there were many of my friends around Takeo-kun.

They must not have denied it, I’m sure. Thinking that makes me feel a little calmer.

“Hey, Chihana, Takeo-kun was looking for you! Could it be… a confession?!”

That was when I was in my third year, nearing graduation. I vividly remember being appalled when a gleeful friend told me, “He might confess to you!”, and I realized the lie I’d told at the beginning of high school was still very much alive as a lie.

I wanted to escape, and I’d decided to apply to a university in another region.

At the very last moment, I had to face the consequences of my lie.

“…Why did you tell such a lie?”

In front of Takeo-kun, who spoke quietly, I acted brazenly. I said that from my perspective, Takeo-kun and Tomoe-chan looked exactly like they were dating. In fact, the two were always together, and we had orchestrated it that way. Takeo-kun must have noticed that too.

If Tomoe-chan came near, we, his hangers-on, would distance ourselves. If any girl tried to get close to Takeo-kun, we’d exclude them as much as possible. Kyotarou-kun was just one of them.

Probably, many of my friends were eavesdropping in the hallway. What were they thinking, having heard my lie…? But high school life was almost over, and these current relationships would lose all meaning. I didn’t care anymore.

“Thank you for telling me.”

With a gentle smile, Takeo-kun left the spot. I stood there for a moment without chasing after him. When I left the classroom, several girls looked at me and spat out the word, “Despicable.”

Despicable… Yes, that’s right, I am despicable. Because I prioritized the thought that it was fine as long as I was okay. Even if people cursed me, I couldn’t argue back at all.

What have I been doing for three years? I’m stupid, a coward, and a crybaby.

I wanted someone by my side; I wanted someone I could call a friend.

But all I got was the word “despicable.”

“Are you alright? If you have any trouble, contact me right away.”

Seeing me off, my parents waved goodbye as I headed to a university in another region. They had strongly opposed my choice of university, but I didn’t want to stay in this city. I had failed in elementary, middle, and high school; I had no choice but to escape.

In a new city three prefectures away, I was going to start a new life.

Yet, what jumped into my sight was that Hikagami Kyotarou. Noticing me, Kyotarou-kun smiled and said, “Long time no see.” My smile was probably strained. I’m sorry.

Looking back, university was an even harder environment to make friends than high school. I had to plan my own class schedule, and there wasn’t really a concept of being in the same class.

I was thinking of at least joining a club, but when I chose one based on my hobbies, Kyotarou-kun was there too. I had chosen my living place based on the conditions of being rural, cheap, close to school, and having good security, so it ended up being the same apartment building.

Our homes and school were close, and of course, we both lived alone. I’d chosen carelessly, but there weren’t many options for part-time jobs in the first place, so when it turned out to be the same restaurant, it was… well. I thought, *I can’t escape*.

Kyotarou-kun laughed and said it felt like fate, but now, when he says that, I can’t help but think it might be true. The lie I told in my first year of high school was the catalyst, but spending time with him, I found Kyotarou-kun to be a very gentle person. He doesn’t get angry, and he’s so reassuring and warm that I wonder if he’s forgotten how to hate people.

He listened carefully to my trivial stories, and even when I felt unwell once a month, Kyotarou-kun would show concern. Even when it was my errand, he’d come along with a smile if I invited him. I somehow understood why Tomoe-chan and Takeo-kun couldn’t stay away from Kyotarou-kun.

Without either of us confessing, we somehow ended up in a relationship where we were just together. Probably… no, I definitely like Kyotarou-kun now. I don’t feel the need to be cautious around him, and having Kyotarou-kun by my side has become a given for me.

I want to stay with him like this forever. If a confession is necessary, I’ll do it anytime, and if we ever become *that* kind of couple, I’m confident I’ll say “I love you” many times during those moments.

We’re both over eighteen now. We can have an adult relationship.

In spring, we went to the park together, and in summer, we went to the beach. We went to fireworks festivals together, and I even showed him my *yukata* at a festival. And now, the season was turning to autumn.

“Let’s go do a little shopping.”

When I said that, Kyotarou-kun entered the drug store and quietly slipped condoms into the basket along with snacks and ingredients for tonight’s dinner. *He should have bought them beforehand, he’s quite bold,* I chuckled to myself.

But I was happy. Because I hadn’t been desired before. I knew Kyotarou-kun was shy from being with him, but when nothing had happened up until now, I’d started to wonder if I needed to reconsider some things.

The walk home, hand in hand, was silent. My heart pounded, and that rising emotion transmitted through our joined hands, and I felt it, too. I thought, *Today, I’m going to give him everything,* feeling my body temperature rise.

In the future, I’d like a detached house. Two children. A boy and a girl. An ordinary family is fine. I don’t need a high-reaching kind of happiness. We’re ordinary people. I want to savor happiness that suits our station, become friendly Grandpa and Grandma with Kyotarou-kun, surrounded by many grandchildren…

That would make me completely happy.

“…Kyotarou.”

Suddenly, Yako Tomoe appeared before us. I don’t know what she came to seek from Kyotarou. Because she was a radiant person, someone who couldn’t possibly live alongside ordinary people like us.

*Those three are childhood friends,* the words resurfaced in my mind.

Childhood friends, huh? In that case, do they meet up like this? Will they reunite after a long time, have some tea, and then she’ll return to that city? If so, all I can do now is treat my future husband’s close friend with respect.

Releasing Kyotarou-kun’s hand, I extended my hand to Tomoe-san.

But Tomoe-san didn’t take my hand and stood up, saying this:

“I’m sorry.”

— Next story: “The one who flees from everything, and the one who pursues.”