episode_0007

My excitement was broken, so I wiped my sagging penis and waited for my sister to wash it. My sister and I did not exchange a word until she washed it.

I didn’t want to distance myself from him because I felt awkward, but I couldn’t act as friendly as usual because of what we had talked about before.

I wanted to tear out my aching head, but I couldn’t express my emotions properly because my sister was lying next to me.

Did I bring up the story for no reason? Or is this an issue that should have been addressed at least once?

“Hansol. Now?”

“… No.”

While I was struggling with my back turned to my sister, I heard my sister’s voice.

My sister, who was rustling, took off the blanket for a moment and opened the window. A rumbling sound reached my ears, and then a cool breeze blew.

I kept my mouth shut, debating whether to answer or not, and then opened my mouth with difficulty.

After answering, my sister’s hand touched my face.

“Are you offended?”

“No… My sister said the right thing, but…”

“I think you can have those feelings because we have this kind of relationship.”

My sister cautiously asked me if she was worried about my feelings.

What do you want to say? With that thought in mind, I opened my mouth to allow my older sister to continue speaking.

Then, as if she wanted to continue the story she had told me earlier, she touched my ear and continued talking.

I felt a bitter taste in my mouth, so I quietly moved my mouth.

“The reason I reject you is not because I hate you, but because we are family. what… You might think it’s strange for a family member to do something like this.”

“I’ve already crossed the line, is there a problem if I cross it again?”

“We also have a future, and there will come a time when we have to live for someone, but even then, if we are still together, the eyes that see us will not look kindly on us.”

My sister spoke in a soft voice, as if she was admonishing me.

I stared straight ahead, unable to look away.

Our relationship had already crossed the line, and we had maintained it well without telling anyone, but I couldn’t accept that we had to stop just because we became adults.

It wasn’t easy to accept that a relationship that seemed like it would last forever ended up having to end soon after such a long time.

I lay down with my sister on my back and held on to the blanket.

My sister raised her upper body and looked at my expression as she spoke.

“Sister, are you quitting because of other people’s opinions?”

“Legally, we can’t be in a relationship. I should get married with someone else.”

I bit my teeth and swallowed the anger rising to the top of my throat for a moment.

If you cry here for no reason, it will become an irreparable relationship. In this relationship, we can’t go back to being a normal brother and sister. So, I had to endure it here.

What my sister said was 100% right. But my thoughts were a little different.

We had already spent 7 years lusting after each other’s bodies and mixing each other’s bodies without having another lover, but now it was unreasonable to think about having another lover and getting married.

Even if you had been dating your lover for 7 years, suddenly breaking up would be heartbreaking, but my sister said it as if she was giving a cold notice.

“… … .”

After hearing my sister’s last words, I remained silent for a moment.

It’s legal. I couldn’t refute that statement. Because our relationship was already an anti-social relationship where we could easily be criticized for being close relatives.

A relationship that the law will oppose, society will oppose, people will oppose, and in the end, even your parents will oppose.

Because it was a relationship worthy of social disdain, we tried so hard to hide it and not make it visible.

However, because I worked hard, the regret remained stronger and made my heart ache.

I do know that we cannot change from siblings to lovers. That’s because a relationship that can’t be changed has already been drawn.

That’s why it was even more heartbreaking. I wanted to further this relationship rather than lose it. They couldn’t be satisfied with being just siblings.

“… Sister.”

“Huh?”

“Can’t I just live like this?”

I called my sister because I wanted to persuade her, but when she actually responded to my words, my resolve softened.

If I make a mistake here, wouldn’t the relationship be ruined? Could it be that my sister feels rejected and distances herself from me?

As those worries started to pile up one by one, I became afraid of giving a hasty answer.

My sister waited for me to speak, and I was silent for a few minutes before finally opening my mouth.

Did other friends feel this way when they tried to confess? What should I do if something goes wrong and our relationship worsens? I had never felt this emotion before, but at this moment, I was able to understand what my friends were feeling.

I spoke sparingly, and I thought it was a bit ugly. I couldn’t just act like a child, but before I knew it, I was acting like a child.

“… Do you want to do that?”

“Yes.”

My sister laughed lightly in the dark. After that, he asked me questions at intervals.

I answered that question in the affirmative without hesitation.

In response to my sharp answer, my sister stopped playing with my hair for a moment.

“It’s difficult.”

“I see.”

To my sister’s dry voice, I also answered dryly.

It was an answer I didn’t like, but I couldn’t help but feel sad, so I just responded in a dry voice.

How much longer must the painful feelings continue?

How much more painful does this heart have to be for my heart to go on?

If the relationship broke up like this, my heart felt like it would be torn apart.

“… Why are you my sister?”

Several times, I swallowed countless words that were about to come out of my mouth.

And with a trembling mouth, I barely managed to spit out the words.

why. All the questions why. At the end of asking the question, I ended up complaining to no one I could blame.

It was good to have a sister, and although it was good to be a sister, it was not always the case that only good things happened to me because I was a sister.

It was painful because even though there were so many people and all had similar personalities, in the end there was only one older sister.

People are something that cannot be replaced, and it is the heart, so it was painful every time I was told that we could not continue.

Since I couldn’t refute it, it hurt even more.

“I like you because you’re my younger brother.”

“I hate you because you’re my older sister’s younger brother.”

My older sister gently stroked my cheek and reassured me in a kind voice.

However, my already overflowing heart expressed my feelings.

I didn’t mean to say this, but this may be an excuse to put my mind at ease.

Why were we born as brother and sister? I couldn’t throw this resentment at anyone, so it only made my heart suffer.

“Really? Maybe you came all the way here because you’re my little brother.”

“… That’s true, but.”

My older sister looked at me in tears, then changed her position and sat up straight on the bed.

I just listened to the sound, looked at his eyes, and then raised my upper body.

The relationship that my older sister started first has continued to this point. In that case, he was able to come this far because he was my sister’s younger brother. I couldn’t deny it because it was true.

As I got up and sat down weakly, my sister’s appearance in only her underwear caught my eye.

I don’t know why I’m dressed like that at times like this. It’s not like I’m trying to tempt you, so why do you keep walking around dressed like that?

“I won’t ask you to quit right away, but I have to end this relationship at some point. You know?”

“… … .”

“1 year. Let’s end our relationship in a year. In a year, you will go to the military, and after you are discharged, I will graduate, and it is not bad to go your own way.”

My sister spoke in a firm voice, as if she was admonishing me or trying to get me to promise.

I know I need to end this relationship. To that question, I deliberately did not answer.

But my sister didn’t wait for my answer, saw my silence, and continued speaking. My sister, who pinned one finger, resolutely opened her mouth and began to make plans for her future life.

They told me that once I left the military, this relationship would end.

Why do things go like this? I just wanted to live with my sister.

Regret came over me like a wave, wondering if my greed had actually become an opportunity to end my relationship with my sister.

“Well, what is it.”

I opened my mouth because I wanted to say something.

Can’t we just continue our relationship even after leaving the military? Can’t we continue our relationship even after my sister graduates? Can’t we continue and develop this relationship even after I graduate, get a job, and become independent?

There were a lot of things I wanted to say, and a lot of time I wanted to be with my sister.

There were so many things I wanted that I couldn’t count them, and as they started to gradually lose their form, I became more and more anxious.

“It’s okay. Tell me.”

“1 year… Can’t you just give me a little more time?”

“How long? It’s a bit difficult if it’s too long.”

“Can’t it be until I’m discharged?”

“Hmm. Is it because you get bored when you become a soldier? what… okay. Then I’ll make it 3 years.”

My sister nodded and urged me to speak.

I picked and chose my words, but what I ended up saying was asking for an extension of the period. I myself felt so pathetic. Even though I gave him time to think about it, he couldn’t find the courage and the only thing he said was to extend the period.

I felt sorry for myself and let out a deep sigh. My sister tilted her head for a moment after hearing what I said, then smiled and nodded with an expression of understanding.

3 years. But in reality, it was about a year and a half.

If I keep getting caught up in my older sister’s pace, this relationship will really end when I get discharged.

“I won’t have a boyfriend until then, so I have to keep my promise?”

“… Okay.”

My sister stuck her head out and asked, clearly wanting to get an answer from me.

My sister promised not to have a boyfriend for 3 years because of me, so I couldn’t back out of this.

The world did not turn as I wanted, and time seemed to keep rushing me.

It seemed like he was telling me that I had to choose quickly and that I couldn’t just stand still and hesitate.

“Because I said I understood. Let’s not talk about this in the future. It seems like we’re just hurting each other’s feelings.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you can. I did it because I felt bad that you were so upset for no reason.”

My sister clapped her hands lightly as if this story was over and took my hand.

I felt my sister’s warmth in my hands. I just lowered my eyes and apologized softly like a criminal.

However, my sister soothed me by smiling shyly, as if she didn’t want to receive an apology.

If this continues, I will continue to look like a child.

“Let’s go to sleep soon. I guess our story is over.”

“Yes.”

My older sister put her hand on the blanket she had thrown up and pulled it over herself, lying down on the bed.

As I was looking at my sister lying against the wall like before, I followed her and lay down next to her again and got under the blanket.

Unlike before, I lay down facing my older sister and made eye contact with her.

The soft light coming from outside brightened my sister’s expression a little.

I wanted to keep looking at this expression. As I couldn’t remember the person’s expression or atmosphere, I came to see my sister with even more affectionate feelings.

“Good night.”

“Sleep well, sister.”

My sister made eye contact for a moment, then smiled and closed her eyes.

I looked at my sister for a moment and then looked away for a moment.

3 years. Because of the military, my relationship with my older sister will be estranged for a year and a half. Will we be able to get along? I was very worried.

I wish it was longer, but I couldn’t say more because my sister said it as if she had given up a lot to this extent.

What should I do? As I was just thinking about this, an idea flashed through my brain.

“… … .”

I could see my older sister closing her eyes and breathing softly.

If you get caught up in your sister’s initiative, it will end in three years.

But if my sister doesn’t let me quit, wouldn’t this relationship be able to continue further?

The moment I thought of that, I felt like my lips were burning.

How can I stop my sister from quitting? Is there such a way? I keep thinking about it. The thoughts didn’t stop.

Maybe I had no intention of stopping, but many thoughts continued to tangle in my head.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep like this.

“Good night.”

I brushed back my sister’s hair, who had already fallen asleep, and closed her eyes.

I hope my thoughts come to fruition. I spent the day dreaming about this.