episode_0004

Kyotarou

――

Takeo yelled and yelled, then dropped me to the floor, and walked away, swearing. I was the one Tomoe wanted to play the piano for? No way, wasn’t Tomoe supposed to want to play for Takeo? That’s why she invited Takeo to the piano concert before me, and told me it was fine if I thought of it as just a meal, not a piano recital. Why do I have to be yelled at? Even though I was being considerate and keeping my distance from both of them.

When I returned to the classroom, several classmates asked with concern, “Are you okay?”

After that day, neither Tomoe nor Takeo approached me anymore. Our houses are close, so we inevitably pass each other, but we don’t even look at each other. I thought that this was how childhood friendships come to an end.

In fact, I would witness a certain event on the last day of high school.

Hearing that Tomoe was going to a university for music and Takeo for sports, I searched all over the school campus on graduation day to say goodbye to them one last time. After all, they were both my best friends and childhood friends. Even if things couldn’t go back to how they were, I didn’t want a bitter breakup like this. I just wanted to meet them one last time, make up, and then end my high school life. That’s all I wanted.

Since they were so popular, I couldn’t find them no matter how much I searched. Thinking they might have already left, I wandered alone around the school, looking for memories. Suddenly, what entered my sight was the classroom Tomoe used to attend. It wasn’t for any particular reason; I just thought I’d take a look at the classroom where Tomoe, whom I ultimately never approached, spent her time.

There, in the empty classroom, were Takeo and Tomoe, embracing each other.

“…Thank you, Takeo.”

“Are you really sure?”

“…Yes, it’s okay now.”

I’d known since our first year, so what’s the big deal now? Childhood friends are supposed to at least congratulate each other, so why am I hiding? Why does my heart feel so tight and painful? Why are tears streaming from my eyes? This is strange.

Clenching my teeth, I reached for the classroom door. For things like this, momentum is crucial.

“Congratulations, both of you! I heard everything since our first year! That you two have been dating all this time! I’m happy for you as your childhood friend! Congratulations, truly! Be happy!”

The sound of the door and my shouting must have startled them. They looked at me with expressions of disbelief.

“N-no, that’s not right, it’s not, please listen, Kyotarou!”

“…No, it’s not wrong at all. Thank you, Kyotarou.”

Takeo pulled Tomoe into a hug, silencing her as she tried to say something. And then, as if it were a wedding vow, Takeo kissed Tomoe.

I should have wanted this. How much I had wished for my two childhood friends to date and be happy. So, be happy, me! Smile! You should be smiling and clapping like always! Why can’t I? Why? This is ridiculous.

All I could do was flee from the spot. My two beloved friends are going to be happy; all I can do is support them. Two boys and one girl—that kind of relationship couldn’t stay parallel forever. I should have easily imagined that they would intersect, diverge, and never cross paths again.

My smartphone was ringing off the hook, but I couldn’t hear anything right now. I didn’t want to hear. Only when I was out of breath and couldn’t run anymore, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and read the text displayed on it. There were dozens of missed calls from Tomoe. Without calling back, I just started walking aimlessly.

It was probably something like, “Please don’t tell anyone,” or that kind of thing. They were famous people who would appear on TV in the future. The strongest fighter and the beautiful musician—isn’t that the perfect couple? I’m just an ordinary person watching them through a screen. Holding their secret is more than enough of a position for me.

With that, I blocked Tomoe and Takeo’s numbers, and stretched widely by myself. Watching those two brilliant people made me so dazzled I couldn’t see what was ahead. I’m sure someone suitable will appear for me in the future. Just as my ordinary Dad and Mom met, someone ordinary must be waiting for me too.

“Alright, I’m off, Mom.”

One reason I went to say goodbye to them on graduation day was that I had applied to a university in another region. A distant place, three prefectures away, where I would live alone while attending university. I wouldn’t see Tomoe or Takeo again. That’s why I wanted to say goodbye one last time… But it would be wrong to disturb their happiness, wouldn’t it?

My belongings for living alone were fewer than I expected. All my luggage fit into a single two-ton truck. As my Dad drove the truck down the expressway, he suddenly threw a question at me.

“Hey, Kyotarou. Did something happen between you and Tomoe-chan and Takeo-kun?”

“…Not really? Why the sudden question?”

“Hmm, I thought the old you would definitely come to say your goodbyes.”

“…Yeah, if things were like they used to be, maybe. But people change, you know.”

Yes, people change. You can’t stay a child forever, and you can’t keep clinging to the past forever either.

After unloading and moving most of the luggage into my new home, Dad ate dinner, encouraged me with a “Good luck,” and then drove the truck back home. It was an empty 1K room with a loft, but this was my base starting today. Until I finish my four years of university life, I’ll have to work hard on my part-time job and studies.

Cooking, laundry, housework, cleaning—these are essential for living alone, but as a guy living alone, it wasn’t much of a hardship. Part of it was that my Grandma paid for my four years of tuition, and my parents covered my other living expenses. A life where my part-time job earnings directly became my pocket money was different from high school. However, realizing I had to manage all aspects of my food, clothing, and shelter myself, I found I couldn’t really be wasteful.

“Good work, Kyotarou-kun. Let’s head home together.”

Half a year had passed since university life began. Surprisingly, I now had someone I could call my girlfriend. A girl from the same year, who was also a colleague from my part-time job. I wondered if miracles really existed, but she was the girl who had warned me back in my first year of high school.

“Kyotarou-kun, you mustn’t get in their way.”

Whenever I remembered this line, it forced me to think of those two again. Now, however, it was etched in my mind as the best words I heard when I met her.

Watashima Chihana, my girlfriend, who was the same age as me and attended the same university, our relationship began from our shared student status, and now, although we haven’t officially confessed, we’re recognized by ourselves and others as a couple. My hobby being board games, I joined the Board Game Club, and by coincidence, she was there too. In short, it felt like the world was trying to bring us together. To that extent, my connections with Chihana linked to every part of my life.

And now, neither Chihana nor I were high school students anymore. My heart swelled with excitement, thinking the day would come when I’d lose my virginity. And I thought today was that day. When Chihana and I went to the pharmacy together, I subtly slipped condoms into the basket. Thinking it would be embarrassing if I were seen, I put them with boxes of food and snacks. And without saying anything, we held hands, and Chihana and I headed towards my 1K apartment.

“…Kyotarou.”

Seeing a girl sitting in front of my house, I widened my eyes in surprise. It was Tomoe, whom I never expected to see again, sitting by the entrance.

――

Next Story: “Misunderstood Happiness and Lost Happiness.”