episode_0004

When I was in the lower grades of elementary school, Jena and I had a ‘secret base’ along the river in I City.

Contrary to the name, it is not a grand place.

A pile of rags covered with tents, pipes, drums, etc.

-It was a place that only the two of them knew until one day, an uninvited guest sat down there.

“Oh, are you here? I waited.”

As I pull away the tent, I hear a carefree greeting.

He was a man in his mid-30s, and he spoke in an excessively polite manner, in contrast to the frivolous rider suit he wore.

He’s neat and tidy, even though he’s a bum, and he seems to work, albeit irregularly.

It was a mystery why such a person took over our ‘secret base’.

“Master! As you said, I brought you something to eat.”

Yena smiles as she puts down a basket full of steamed potatoes.

My childhood friend at the time was a bit goofy and had a tendency to trust suspicious people.

The fact that the Joo family always kept me, a similar age, by their side was probably intended to prevent any untoward incidents.

“Hey, this person is not the teacher. He is a suspicious person from one to ten.”

“Yeah, but Master knows a lot-”

“If you were really smart, you wouldn’t have stayed homeless here.”

The man must have thought the child’s sarcastic remarks were cute and smiled brightly as he picked up the potato.

“Whahaha. You are pessimistic at a young age. Potato, thank you. It’s the most delicious around this time of year. Next time, please use sweet potatoes.”

Still, I didn’t hate this shameless man, but maybe it was because of the subtle gunshot in his eyes.

“Okay, let’s get out of our secret place quickly!”

“I will pay the rent instead with a double loan. Even after all this, he was once a popular shaman in Gangnam. Didn’t I tell you?”

“Haam. I didn’t tell you.”

I covered the yawn that escaped with my hand and woke the man up.

“Over there. Please lend me your ears-”

As an unknown word came out of the man’s mouth, Yena put her hand to my right ear and whispered.

When she had a question, she would lower her voice, perhaps because she was embarrassed that others would know.

“Yenaya. Why?”

“Regular! What is Park Soo-shaman?”

I was probably the only person among my peers who knew difficult words like ‘applause shaman’.

Moreover, there is no way that Joo Yena, who is from Germany, would know.

“Means a male shaman.”

“Shaman, shaman… ?”

“It’s a job that involves talking to ghosts, but most of them are con artists.”

I, Won, must have been an unemployed gangster, not a shaman.

The man swallowed the fresh potato he was chewing and sat upright. I was a bit surprised by his serious attitude for the first time.

“Ask questions one by one. I will tell you with all my heart.”

“Well, then who will I marry?”

The one who hesitantly stepped forward first was Yena, who was surprisingly timid.

The mysterious man rubs his chin and ponders the question the girl asked.

“Hmm, that’s a premature question. Normally, I would have received at least 200 or 300 as a reward. Let’s see.”

The man gestures into the air three or four times and nods. And open your mouth.

“The person whom Old Man Wolha has chosen as his destiny is very close by. Isn’t this the person you’re thinking of?”

“Ehe, hehe- Is it true?”

As a child, I didn’t know who Yena was thinking of when she was killed.

“That’s right. If my horoscope is correct, I think it will be a speeding marriage. Oh dear. It’s so hot that my cheeks are all hot.”

When an unknown word comes out again, he turns his dark eyes towards me and whispers.

“What is a speeding marriage?”

“Well. First time hearing this.”

The man, Sook-deok, continues his explanation without paying attention to what we say.

“There may have been times when we were estranged, but on the day when we confirmed our feelings for each other, we didn’t hesitate to commit – Wow. I’ll be a parent of twins at 19. I should have been more careful. However, from now on, I will lead an extremely smooth and happy life. Others will be jealous.”

Wow, isn’t 19 too early?

Yena just rounded her eyes as if she didn’t know much.

Anyway, I didn’t understand everything he said, but I knew it was a good word.

‘Well, as long as Yena is happy, that’s enough.’

This time I throw my question to him, doubtful of his true intentions.

“I want to join the symphony orchestra like my dad. Is that possible?”

“Yes! Don’t worry, you can do it on a regular basis!! Master, what do you think?”

“… it’s hard. No, it is impossible.”

Despite Jena’s encouragement, my question is denied outright.

Although I ignored the man a few times, I gave him a grumpy reply.

He spoke with a serious expression to me, who had a sad expression on his face.

“I think hard work can beat talent, but it’s over when the body collapses. It’s a pity.”

“What does it mean?”

“You’ll find out soon. After that, it will be better for your life if you quietly follow my instructions. Don’t be stubborn.”

The man approaches the discipline group and leans in to pick up the next potato.

He didn’t see Yena stick out her tongue instead of me, so he woke up as if something occurred to him.

“… However, there is a catch. My fortune telling is straight forward. It can change in anomalous places like I City. At some point, all kinds of unclean things started gathering in this city. Do you know the saying, “When I look into the abyss, the abyss also looks at me”?”

I was startled by the man’s unexpected question and stuck my tongue out.

“Mo, I don’t know. Is it a proverb?”

The man slowly released his lips.

“Neither of you should listen to the monster’s voice. The shadow comes secretly and quietly whispers a sweet offer. If you gradually get wet like a drizzle, there is no turning back.”

-After that day, we never saw the man in the secret base again.

I don’t know where he went.

It was a relationship that came like the wind and disappeared like the wind.

Joo Yena must have already forgotten, and for me, it was a memory that left me with an uneasy feeling.

***

Back to the present –

Rooftop of the old building of Nakwon High School in I City.

It is a barren space and the paint is peeling in various places as if no one is taking care of it. It was easy to get in as there was no manager.

I already know that Yena actually doesn’t like hanging out with people, so she returns to the old building, which is less crowded, to avoid the annoying crowds.

[The constellation ‘The opposite of living is suicide’ proposes to chant a slogan together in commemoration of its owner’s historic first suicide!!!!]

What is it about a monster secretly approaching and whispering? You’re so talkative. As expected, the man I met as a child was a quack and shaman.

A constellation that flashes two characters alternately noisily.

[killing! fat! sun! killing!]

It’s ridiculous that they copied it so blatantly. Dangerous.

“That has no originality.”

[…] Come on, commit suicide. ruler! killing!]

There is no way that originality can be created by adding one more letter. Moreover, cheering for evil spirits is just exhausting.

“Just stay quiet.”

[*0x0* The constellation ‘The opposite of a living person is suicide’ has remained silent.]

[(Emoji of a suicidal bunny jumping into a cliff)]

It is still too early to jump to the unspoken pressure.

-I peek over the rattling railing and quietly wait for my target to appear.

The method I chose for my first suicide was suicide by jumping.

To fall to death, all you have to do is throw your body from a high place, so it is the most economical.

Since I haven’t yet acquired the suspiciously named ‘suicide point’, I can’t die using a professional tool.

… … I just wanted to fall down and see.

These are not immature words!

People who enjoy rides such as Viking or Gyro Drop or bungee jumping talk about the thrill.

So wouldn’t falling without a safety device be the greatest pleasure?

This is to test out the skill that grants painlessness.

[Target detected! 100M ahead]

Yena finally comes staggering around near the school gate.

He looked exhausted, but was it my business?

We plan to see with the first suicide what kind of expression they will look at and, above all, whether they will shed even a single tear.

-Depending on the level of reaction, my future plans will be quite different.

‘Whew. I have to do well.’

With your back to the morning sun, stand exactly in the center of the rooftop railing.

You should fall as close to Jena’s feet as possible.

If I fall by mistake and hit her head directly, my head will explode and that’s the end, so I have to control it well.

―It was the moment when Joo Yena noticed the presence of my shaking shadow and looked up.

“What-!?”

Place your head down and leave your body in the air. What rose in place of the lost desire for life was not extreme fear or pleasure.

No thoughts.

I didn’t think anything of it.

For less than a second, the scene you see is flowing, as if melted movie film is being pulled out by a projector.

‘You’re crazy.’

The moment the skull was crushed on the floor, an interesting sound was heard. Fuuuck-!

Memories of wearing an eye patch and smashing watermelons with a stick when I went to the beach with Jena spread through the fragmented nerves of my brain.

When it bursts like a watermelon, the red contents inside splatter out in chunks, just like a watermelon!

“Uh, huh. Why you?”

I recognized that it was me who fell, but I still didn’t understand the situation. The tone is the same as when I was young and asked about words I didn’t know.

Are you pretending to be an adult to me while still being a bit of a jerk? I’m laughing out loud.

As the constellation ‘The opposite of the living is suicide’ assures me, my spiritual body gradually emerges from my body without pain.

‘What kind of ghost?’

Can we call it the out-of-body phenomenon as it is well known?

The body is so light that it feels like it can move anywhere.

The status window flashes in front of you with a cheerful fanfare.

[Loop 1 – ‘Surprise Dive’ has ended.]

[To commemorate your first suicide, 50 suicide points will be awarded!]

[30 suicide points are awarded for suicide by jumping.]

[Suicide Shop has opened.]

[You can return to the specified save point at any time.]

Save Point-

I have clearly decided at what point I will return.

For a brief moment, I want to clearly see the reaction of the person I am scolding and then return.

“Why… … ?”

Like the grain of Jena’s well-made pottery, her beautiful hands tremble.

Those words are empty and mechanical, as if I can’t come to my senses.

As if he were indeed an honor student, it wasn’t long before he showed a human reaction to stimulation for the first time.

“Ugh, why?”

While spitting out “Why?” again, yellow gastric juice pours out of the mouth instead of tears.

Are you saying the fact that I committed suicide right in front of you is so disgusting that you want to vomit?

But we’ve known each other for a long time. At least one teardrop-

– While complaining inwardly, I met Yena’s dark blue eyes.

I’ve only seen those eyes once, at a funeral.

The eyes were dead, not lifelike, but rather demoralizing.

… Ohh. Are you very shaken?

My death wasn’t completely useless.

“If you can’t stand it, then you should die.” She has definitely kept her bad words, so I’m looking forward to the future.

[Do you want to start loop 2?] – [Y/N]

‘I’ll go back to the save point. Joo Yena is also with us.’

The proofreading work I prepared began now.

***

-why? why? Why did you break your promise and leave first?

My head goes numb with the sensation of being hit with a hammer, or rather, being hit with an ice pick, and then it melts away.

When Joo Yena finally realizes who she is, a mirror appears before her eyes.

Were you changing into your school uniform? There are two rubber bands tied to the sheep’s head in its mouth.

“Ha… ha… . What happened!?”

I spit out the string, take a deep breath, and assess the situation.

Surely Jeong Gyu committed suicide right in front of his eyes?

I checked the date and it was the same. Besides, it’s 7:30 before school starts yet.

The phone is quiet.

No matter how many childhood friends she had or didn’t have, it would have been a hot topic if she had committed suicide on campus.

Reason weaves together all the clues like a spider web.

‘I see. I definitely cared enough about it that it appeared in my dream last night.’

It seems he fell into a daydream due to stress.

Jena got angry when she spilled the medicinal porridge she had made and said something harsh to her childhood friend, and it seems that she unconsciously left him with a big debt.

I used to hear that I definitely have a constitution that makes me suggestible.

‘Even if I don’t apologize to her, I need to correct her-‘

As I walk down the stairs at a brisk pace, I smell eggs being fried.

French toast on a plate.

The menu is the same as in the daydream… … ? A generous housekeeper sees Yena and scolds her.

“Lady. What do you do without proper clothes? I’m late for school like this.”

“Sorry… … .”

“Oh, that’s right. While I was going to take out the trash around 7 o’clock, I saw a regular student putting something in the mailbox.”

mailbox? No, no. Probably not.

I must have put too much pressure on my lower lip with my over teeth, so it bursts and blood comes out.

“-Why?”

“Aaagh!? Blood is coming out of my lips. What’s wrong?”

-I keep having nightmares.

The foreshadowing of the suicide drama reappears before her eyes.