episode_0004

I started teaching Kara how to do housework.

From cleaning and laundry to cooking. Originally, I did most of it in place of Roland, who had lung disease, but as I taught Kara little by little, I gradually entrusted more housework to her.

Of course, not everything went smoothly from the start.

Clang-!

“Hmm…”

“Aaaagh… My plate… That was expensive…”

“S-sorry…”

There were times she dropped and broke a plate while rinsing it.

Crack-!

“Aaaagh! My chair!”

And times she leaned too hard on the armrest while dusting an old wooden chair, breaking it.

And sometimes…

Sizzle-

Bubble bubble-

“…”

“…”

“…”

There were times she burned the meals to a crisp.

Rrrmble-

“…I haven’t eaten for two days…”

Roland, who had gone without food the longest among us, made a tearful face.

“…I-I’m sorry…”

Kara apologized to Roland, looking deflated.

Watching the two of them, I sighed softly and offered words of comfort to Kara.

“…Still, you’re getting a little better.”

Of course, it was truly, very little by little.

But since she was indeed improving little by little, I took comfort in that fact and consoled Kara.

Half a year passed like that.

“…Haaah…”

Late in the evening, just like yesterday, I started hearing Kara’s sighs from the ceiling above.

When she feels down, she often goes up to the roof and sighs deeply by herself. I wonder if she doesn’t realize it’s not soundproof, as she goes up there quite often and does that.

“She does that periodically.”

Roland, who had been sleeping, said.

“I guess it’s hard for her to adapt.”

“What? Just doing housework?”

“…Housework isn’t easy either. And you’ve never done it, have you?”

“…Yeah, I misspoke. Still, she’s so bad at it.”

“Since when were *we* good at anything? Still, she’s gradually getting better, so let’s think positively.”

“My plate?”

“…”

“My chair? My food?”

“…Are you going to keep acting like a child?”

It was quite unsightly to see someone a year older than me act like that.

“Damn it, look at him, acting like this just because his own things weren’t broken. Do you know how I felt when that expensive plate shattered? It was like my precious lover was broken into pieces…!”

“And when did you ever have a precious lover?”

“Anyway!!! It’s!!! Like that!!!!”

“Shh! She might hear everything from up there.”

“What if she hears? It’s not like she wouldn’t hear our conversation when her sighs are already audible…”

Only then, perhaps noticing the deep silence that had fallen on the roof for a while, Roland stammered, “Uh, um,” and then cautiously said,

“…Surely she didn’t hear everything, did she?”

“…Why wouldn’t she? You’re older than me, yet you act like such a…”

“Sorry, I ate my age through my butt [an idiom meaning someone is old but acts immature]. Anyway, go up there and comfort her a bit.”

Whoosh-

“I wouldn’t know how.”

As if trying to escape, he pulled the blanket over his head and turned his back.

“Hey, hey…!”

Seeing that, I hurriedly called out to Roland repeatedly, but there was no response from him, who was pretending to sleep.

“That son of a b—… Haaah.”

‘Such a person, a year older than me.’

I guess I’ll have to go up and comfort her.

I got up from my bedding and climbed the ladder in the yard to the roof.

Creak- Creak-

“…Why are you here?”

As I climbed up the ladder, she spoke to me in a weak voice, squatting, looking utterly deflated, likely having heard Roland’s words.

I sat next to Kara and returned the question.

“Then why are *you* up here doing this?”

At my words, Kara buried her face between her knees.

“…It’s just that everything is so hard.”

“Everything?”

At my words, Kara slowly nodded her head.

“I’ve lost my memories, I’m bad at everything and just a burden all the time, and I’m not smart like Roland, so there’s nothing I know how to do. …I don’t know how I’m going to manage things in the future…”

Thump.

Kara, who had been huddled, mumbled with her face buried between her legs.

“…”

Creak- Creak-

I watched Kara’s left arm, which had a constellation tattoo, tremble for a moment, and then I simply watched her mourn for a bit.

Kara’s white hair, illuminated by the moonlight, sparkled beautifully.

But apart from that, I tried to imagine how Kara must be feeling right now.

‘This isn’t a normal situation.’

Everything must be confusing.

In a situation where she’s lost her memories, doesn’t know her parents, or what kind of person she was.

Because she was dropped right in the middle of the world’s worst city.

Trying to adapt to such a harsh city life in such a situation, her heart must have been pushed to its limits.

“Honestly, I don’t know how hard it is for you.”

Her indigo eyes turned towards me at my words.

“Because I’ve never lost my memory, and I’ve never suddenly just dropped into a city. I’m not smart enough to understand such things, nor am I such an amazing person.”

“…”

“But at least I know you’re incredibly confused.”

Everything must be difficult.

You must want to give up.

You must feel like you’re living alone in the world.

Because there was no one to understand or support her.

“You’re doing well.”

I said that under the dim sky.

“Truly. Even though it must be hard, you’re doing your best. When my mother left, I, who hadn’t even lost my memory, was busy crying like an idiot, but you’re managing bravely even while crying.”

Stroke- stroke-

I stroked her head.

“You’re amazing.”

At my words, Kara’s body stiffened.

“Even though it must be hard, you’re enduring bravely.”

Stroke- stroke-

“If things get hard, you can always confide in me. At least I’ll always be here to support you.”

People grow by falling down.

Who is good at things from the start?

If you just live diligently day by day and keep moving forward, you’ll become good at it at some point.

Those were my mother’s words.

“What am I?”

She asked me in a trembling voice.

“Why are you doing all this for someone like me?”

“My mother always said that family is a relationship where you give everything without expecting anything in return.”

[“You’re family.”]

She was the one who taught me how important human warmth was in this hellish place.

She passed away when I was young, and now, four years later, I still haven’t forgotten that teaching.

Because she was the most precious person to me.

“We were… family?”

Kara, who now understood not only the word ‘parents’ but also ‘family,’ looked quite shocked upon hearing that word.

“Why? Are we not?”

“N-no, it’s not-”

She was so flustered she couldn’t properly string words together and stammered.

But instead of words, her earlobes, which glowed red even in the darkness, spoke for Kara’s feelings.

“Anyway-”

Kara, who had been bowing her head in embarrassment, lifted it.

“If you have anything difficult, feel free to confide in me. While you’re up here, I’ll listen to your worries.”

I wonder if it was comforting.

I don’t really know.

Most of what I said were words my mother had told me, so since I was quoting her, my true feelings might not have been properly conveyed.

But this last part was sincere.

I was already genuinely thinking of Kara as family.

Both Kara and Roland.

Because in this hellish place, they were people I could trust my back to, rely on, and share a home with, eating and sleeping together.

So even though I had never properly expressed it, I had always cherished this relationship deeply in my heart.

And then-

Pfft-

At that moment, Kara let out a smile.

Wiping away the tears welling in her eyes, Kara said,

“What was that? You don’t seem like the Agapé I usually know.”

“Then what was I usually like?”

“You always had a scary expression, and whenever you came home, you’d carry a knife and a blood-stained sack, making you seem less like a person and more like an ogre.”

“…”

I never knew she thought that.

‘At least next time, I should wipe off the blood on my body before coming in.’

“Still, I like it.”

“Huh?”

What did she like?

I didn’t understand what she meant.

So I looked at Kara, but she just smiled without saying anything to me.

And Kara’s smile, whose exact age I didn’t know but who seemed slightly younger or around the same age as me—

It was so beautiful that I found myself staring blankly without realizing it.

Her sparkling indigo eyes.

And as I stared blankly at her smiling face, simultaneously looking at me, Kara suddenly said to me,

“Then, from now on, whenever things are hard, will you come up here and talk to me about my worries?”

I, who had been making a foolishly blank expression, finally came to my senses.

“Uh, uh? Y-yes?”

“Then-”

Whoosh-

Kara leaned her upper body towards me.

Her white hair tickled my nose.

“From now on, if you have any worries or difficulties, tell me too.”

It was a smile as bright as the sun.

“I, too, will do my best to be a good listener for you.”

Whoosh-

“Okay?”

Kara extended her pinky finger.

“…Where did you learn this?”

“Roland told me. He said everyone does this when making an important promise.”

‘He really teaches her all sorts of things.’

He usually grumbled so much, but it seems he was unknowingly teaching Kara all sorts of common knowledge.

I hooked my finger around Kara’s.

“Yes, it’s a promise.”

“Of course…! Hehe…!”

Kara, with the brightest smile she had ever shown,

Squeeze-

pressed her thumb and fingerprint against mine, as if vowing to keep this promise forever.

Half a year after Kara arrived.

Amidst busy and difficult times, we created one important daily routine.

When things are hard, we go up to the roof and confide our worries.

And we listen to each other’s worries, offering words of comfort to the one who is struggling.

It was a small addition, but a daily routine more important than anything else.

Confiding in each other opened our hearts.

It became the nourishment that allowed us to convey our true feelings more deeply, and we began to share not just our worries but also the everyday stories we held within.

And as time passed, and a little more time passed—

Before we knew it, we became close enough to even share our secrets with each other.

Yes.

Now that I think about it, the memories we made during this time were filled with nothing but happiness.

So much so that no matter how difficult things were, we could forget all of them—