episode_0003

I figured it out.

Why did I forget… No, it might be more appropriate to say that I didn’t think about it intentionally. Because ‘I, Lilianne’ really hated this time. No, it would be more correct to say that I was afraid of it.

In front of me is a handsome man who is incredibly handsome. His light emerald hair that flows down to his back is shiny and swaying as if he has been taking care of it, and his body, neatly dressed in a uniform, is not very big but rather slender and even wears glasses, giving off the impression of a ‘student who is good at studying’. If you ask 100 people, they will probably all give similar impressions.

But the reason why I and Liliane feel fear is because the man in front of us… Yugram is my tutor and the reason why I am afraid of this time.

In fact, it may be quite natural for a 3 or 4 year old child to be afraid of a tutor. Even if the child’s mental age is precocious for his or her age, he or she may want to play a lot and simply hate studying. However, the tutor is in a position to make the child study anyway, so corporal punishment may follow.

Judging by the fact that I am a princess, Yugram must have been of a fairly high status or had some kind of permission to teach Liliane until now.

Leaving me alone with my thoughts, Yugram is looking through the homework Lilianne has done in advance. Fortunately, Lilianne is the type to finish her homework in advance, so I was able to avoid getting in trouble when we first met for something I didn’t do. Should I be happy about that?

“Not bad.”

Yes. The Yugram in my memories was this kind of person.

Although Lilianne is afraid of Yugram, it’s not like Yugram punishes Lilianne or anything. Just pointing out her shortcomings in a businesslike tone or simply looking at her scared Lilianne enough. After all, it’s understandable that a child of this age would be afraid of just being alone with an adult male.

I think the source of my fear was not so much that I would get hurt, but rather that I would worry about what I would do. I think I also had a subconscious thought of what I would do if I couldn’t meet my parents’ expectations.. Is she really a 4-year-old?

A piece of paper with today’s class content written on it was placed in front of me. I was thinking about useless things for a moment, such as whether paper was not expensive or whether I had a large budget as a princess, but when I saw the content, I couldn’t come to my senses for a moment.

‘what?’

Are my eyes deceiving me?

“I have prepared only the types of problems that the princess often makes calculation mistakes in.”

Yes. The paper was full of math problems. There was no particular problem up to that point. The various symbols that felt a little awkward to ‘me’ felt very natural from the perspective of ‘me as Liliane’, so it was easy to understand that the world was different, so of course the symbols were different. That part is not important.

‘Why is it so difficult?’

I’m four years old. Four years old. My birthday just passed recently. That means I was three until recently.

I can’t give you a definite answer because my memory isn’t exact, but… even so, at the age of 3 or 4, it’s probably a very simple level of arithmetic, or they’re just starting to learn to read and write… isn’t it something like that? Is this world also experiencing a private education craze? Or is it because they’re royalty?

Even if you look through Lilianne’s memories, she was only a child of 3 or 4 years, so she had no idea about the educational situation or common sense of other families. However, it is clear that Lilianne hated this time because she was afraid of Yugram, and not because the various studies were particularly difficult.

While I was half-asleep over my various thoughts, Lilianne’s cute hands were quickly writing down the answer with an expensive-looking fountain pen. She had the skills to make a fountain pen. No, could a fountain pen be made with primitive technology? Even while thinking about things like when she had last used it properly in her previous life, her calculations continued.

I don’t remember whether I was smart or dumb in my past life, but when I came to my senses and looked at the problem, ‘I’ was able to solve it somehow. It doesn’t matter whether I solved it with the knowledge I already had or because I was able to solve it by utilizing Liliane’s knowledge. Since Liliane and I thought at the same time as if we were dual-cores, I could slowly watch from behind while Liliane solved the problem and check for mistakes or points she missed. But even so, I don’t remember my past life’s name, so why do I remember useless things like dual-core?

“It’s over.”

Perfect. Probably.

Up until now, Lilianne has made many mistakes in calculations or missed many of the traps in the problems she knows because of her nervousness towards Yugram, but since I checked all of those parts, there shouldn’t be any problems. Yugram must have noticed it too..

“All are correct.”

..That’s it?

Although I felt annoyed at not having a single word of praise, I vaguely understood that this was what a male teacher would do, and all I could do was hold back a sigh as I looked at the problem sets from other fields that Yu Gram had brought.

After what felt like 10 hours of grueling classes, I was sprawled out on my bed. In reality, it was a short time, maybe 2 or 3 hours, but a long time. Since both the instructor and the student were competent, the class went very smoothly, but that competence was the problem.

Being competent means having a high standard to meet, and that high standard can come with constant tension and effort, so I had to stay focused without looking away, which was extremely tiring.

But the reason I’m lying down now is not because I’m particularly tired, but to gather my thoughts.

This is something I’ve been thinking about for some time now. What kind of being am I?

I said it grandly, but the core of it is the question of whether I really reincarnated and why my memories are incomplete. It could be seen as a question of identity, so it might be grandiose.

I recognize as a clear fact that I am a person who has lived in another world and that I have been reincarnated into this body of Liliane. If you think about it, this is a bit strange.

What on earth made you think that? I don’t even remember my name from my previous life. How old was I? How did I live and die? I don’t remember a single thing. And yet I recognize myself as a man. How do I know I’m a man when I don’t even remember my name?

Why did I naturally accept the fact that I had been reincarnated when I had no memory of the most important thing, ‘myself’? And the fact that I had no memory at all is also questionable.

When I think about it, memories are chained. When I think of the name of a really delicious dish, when I ate it, what I did, who I ate it with. These related memories naturally come to mind. Even if I think of the dessert that tasted like last night, I also remember the conversations of the family I ate with at that time. But I almost never have that.

Another strange thing is that it’s not that it doesn’t exist at all. Sometimes, the dishes that are served at meals are ones that I know from my past life. At those times, I remember the general recipe. It can’t be Lilianne’s memory, who has never been near a kitchen or a kitchen knife, so it’s obviously a memory from her past life.

Besides this, all I can remember are vague or unnecessary knowledge. When I lie down like this and think about it, I seriously wonder if I’m actually crazy. Don’t they say that crazy people don’t even know they’re crazy? They pretend to be cool and logical, but aren’t they actually lying in bed drooling and screaming?

In fact, isn’t it more likely that a poor child lost his mind for a moment and fell into such delusions than that he lived in another world and was reincarnated with those memories?

As I lay there rolling around, my eyelids began to feel heavy. I tried to stay awake for a few seconds, then gave up and relaxed my body.

.

.

.

“Huh?”

What is it?

“Uh uh..”

A stupid thing came out of my mouth, but I couldn’t help it.

When I opened my eyes, all I could see was a pure white space above, below, and on both sides.

What is this? Is this a dream?

No. I think I was dreaming just a moment ago.

I had a dream of becoming a very smart girl. I ate a lot of delicious food, played with pretty girls, and studied with a very handsome guy.

But where is this?

I pinched my wrist. It hurt. I was afraid I’d look stupid if I pinched my cheek, but it didn’t seem like a dream.

I started to feel a little uneasy because I couldn’t tell if I was standing or lying down.

As I was fidgeting, I felt a presence.

“People!”

And when I looked over there, there was a devil.

“Huh?”

It was a real devil. It was a textbook devil, to the point where if you type devil into the internet, this is what you’d expect to see.

A red body, two horns on its head, a trident in its hand… It was just a devil, just a bit smaller.

“I’ve never seen such a stereotypical kid in my life.”

The devil suddenly cursed at me. What is it?

“If this is our first time meeting, let me explain it to you kindly. I change into the image you instinctively think of. The reason I become this bland and boring person is because you thought of this stereotypical devil.”

oh.

Well, if my country had changed like that, I might want to curse a little.

But you know everything. You even know how to use words like stereotype.

“Because you’re a devil.”

I see.

Are you a devil who can read minds and do that?

“That’s just because you’re an idiot and it shows in your expression.”

I’ve heard countless times in my life that I can’t control my facial expressions, so I figured it was just that. No, that’s right. So why am I here?

“By now, you must be wondering why you are here and what other people’s lives you have just experienced. Let me explain slowly.”

I was thinking that it was comfortable because I didn’t have to say anything, when the devil poked me with his trident. It hurt.

“First of all, you are dead. If you don’t remember why or how you died, it’s because your memory is limited. It’s usually hard to accept that you’re dead, so how many people would be sane if they vividly remember how they died?”

“And you were born in another world and lived an ordinary life until you realized that fact, and that’s why you met me in this space. End of explanation. ”

What is this? It feels like I only ate half of this ramen?

I could only look at the demon before my eyes with skeptical eyes at the explanation that seemed to have lost most, if not half, of the content.