episode_0003

The next morning, she came home with a swollen face, ready to eat. She handed it to me, then walked behind a nearby tree and crouched down. It seemed like she was concerned that I might have another seizure. To be honest, just being around her was uncomfortable, but I didn’t have the courage to say anything.

I stuffed food into my mouth. I had no idea what was going into it. There was only one thought in my head.

How can I avoid being killed by her?

I think back on my past two lives.

First life, tortured in an underground prison and died by having his throat cut.

Second life, living in hiding in the northern mountains, and dying in a horrible way I hate to remember.

No matter how much I look back, I can’t understand. Why did she hate me so much? Honestly, I don’t think I treated her badly enough to hold a grudge. Whatever she may have thought, I treated her as a person. I was the one who rescued her from the slave market when she was on the verge of death, I was the one who burned her slave certificate, I was the one who treated her aftereffects from the terrible burns. I told her to leave whenever she wanted.

In fact, she was closer to a guardian or benefactor than an owner. In fact, she followed me around a lot, so I wouldn’t be able to thank her enough for raising me.

And yet she killed me······

There were parts of me that I didn’t like enough to cover up the gratitude I felt for raising me.

What could have been the problem?

I cautiously suspect that there was something wrong with the way she was placed on the zodiac.

There is a reason. She was killed more painfully in her second life than in her first. And the only difference between the two lives is the brief moment when she was abandoned by the zodiac. That means that something I did at that time must have upset her.

Throwing up in front of her? Calling her a monster? Running away in a panic, ignoring her pleas to stay? I don’t know which one, but you absolutely must not offend her in this episode. (I think you already threw up.)

I don’t want to die anymore. I want to stop suffering this horrible pain.

To do that, I first had to know what time it was. If I knew the current situation, I could plan to abandon her without offending her.

I plucked up my courage and asked her, who was crouching behind the tree, what day it was. She looked puzzled for a moment, then told me the current date in a gloomy voice.

August 3, 1052

It was exactly one month before I abandoned her. It was the time when we were all walking towards the zodiac. For some reason, I went back a little further than last time.

Was it because I died early, or did I simply die more often and the point of regression gets earlier? Either way, it wasn’t bad for me since I had more time to prepare.

A month is enough time to prepare for a breakup. Learning from the mistakes of my past life, I will do my best not to upset her this time and send her to the zodiac.

***

I called her and asked her if she was having a hard time these days. Clearing karma is the first step to improving relationships.

She came running happily, but was very flustered by my sharp question.

I was convinced when I saw her reaction. ······She must have been dissatisfied with something. I got the creeps. I thought she did a good job, so what on earth was the problem? I smiled kindly and questioned her. It’s okay. Just tell me.

She hesitated for a moment, but eventually she spoke in a crawling voice.

“I, in fact···”

To summarize what she said, she was scared because I’ve been acting so cold lately.

I remembered. Thinking back, I was deliberately being cold to her around this time. I was trying to get her to stop being affectionate. I thought that behavior would be good for both of us, but it must have left her with a deep resentment.

After about ten minutes of talking about how cold I’ve been lately and how upset I’ve been, she finally bursts into tears.

“···Do you hate me by any chance···?”

She looks at me with tears falling down her face. I can see deep anxiety and nervousness in her eyes.

Honestly, I got goosebumps, but I couldn’t show it. I consoled her. It wasn’t like that at all. I just had a lot on my mind these days. I was sorry for making you misunderstand.

The effect of my few warm words was tremendous. She came to me with a moved expression. Then she buried her face in my chest and cried, saying that she had been scared all this time. I could sense her distress from her heavy breathing.

I patted my back and thought, It feels like there are millions of bugs crawling on my body.

***

While we were creating such a touching atmosphere, we also informed her of our future plans.

You are actually the princess of the empire, and I am currently on my way to take you to the imperial capital. Have you experienced any inconveniences during this time? If so, I will kneel down and apologize right now, so please forgive me.

After hearing what I said, she lifted her face from my chest and looked at me with wide eyes.

“What, what did you say···?”

I explained it again because you didn’t seem to understand at first. You are the princess and we are on our way to the imperial capital.

Her face turns pale.

Oh my… I thought things would work out somehow with this kind of atmosphere, but I guess I was mistaken. Her reaction is very bad.

“Then, does that mean I’m breaking up with you, Master···?”

“I guess so?” he replied.

“I don’t like it!! Why should I break up with you, Master···? I don’t like it···”

She crawls back into my arms again, acting like a spoiled brat.

Embarrassed, I tried to convince her by saying that the palace was a really wonderful place and that she, as a noble member of the royal family, would be treated very well there. But it didn’t work.

“I don’t need a princess or anything··· I just want to be by my master’s side···”

She was very stubborn. It seemed like nothing I said would work. The emotional atmosphere seemed to be poisonous. I created a situation where she could act up. If it had been like that, she would have just quietly agreed to what I said.

Eventually, I had no choice but to give her another reason. In fact, besides the fact that I was scared of her, there was another reason why I couldn’t hang out with her anymore.

“Actually, I’m wanted.”

“Yes? But what does that matter···”

“Former Emperor. So your country was destroyed by your father. Your mother, father, brothers, and sisters all died. I am the last surviving member of the royal family.”

“······.”

“Honestly, I don’t feel very good about hanging out with the child of the enemy who destroyed my family.”

“That, that···! But it’s not my fault··· I don’t even know what that person looks like···”

She protests strongly. If I push too hard here, I might incur resentment. At this point, I need to speak to her a little more gently.

“I know. It’s not your fault. I don’t hate you either. But this is… I can’t help it. How would our family in the afterlife feel if they saw this? It’s a shame, but…”

She cuts me off abruptly, as if she’s afraid of what I’m going to say next.

“I, I said I was the princess···? I will help you get revenge. Use me. I will somehow become the emperor. Then! I will destroy the empire and rebuild your country! I can do it. If you tell me to··· If you promise to come get me again, I will do it no matter how long it takes.”

She explained her usefulness with crazy eyes. Her determination to achieve something was evident. In fact, she ascended to the throne as emperor about four years later, so it was not an empty promise. She would become emperor as she said.

If I had been the me of 10 years ago, burning with a desire for revenge, I might have been tempted by her words. But now, I had no intention of taking revenge on the empire.

“······Now, I have no intention of harassing the people who are living peacefully. I am angry, but they are eating and living much better than when my father ruled. From my perspective, the emperor seemed like a devil, but from the people’s perspective, he might have seemed like a savior······ Well, anyway.”

I speak clearly to her who is in despair.

“Thank you for your heart.”

“That···I···”

Just in case, let’s check again.

“Have you been upset so far···? If there’s anything you don’t like or anything like that, tell me. I’ll sincerely apologize.”

She lowers her head.

“······There’s no way that could happen······Every moment with my master felt like a dream······”

“Then that’s fortunate.”

It sounds like a lie… I guess I’ll have to try and solve it as I go.

***

A month later, I arrived at the Imperial Palace and I sent her away. She looked at me with longing eyes until the end. But I wasn’t crazy and I had no intention of being with her.

When he told me to definitely come see him later, I said, “Okay,” and said goodbye.

How about coming back in about 50 years?

In fact, I have no intention of coming back even after 50 years. I won’t even set foot here.

······And four years later.

I was dragged towards her as if it was a given.