episode_0003

How did it come to this?

Yes, the beginning of all this.

Kim Taeyang.

Not only did my boyfriend cheat on me with this person’s girlfriend, but he also sent a video.

‘Why?’

Until yesterday, he was a precious boyfriend, but now I honestly don’t feel any emotions towards him. I even started to think that maybe it’s inevitable to seek revenge.

Anyone facing a similar situation would probably think the same.

Of course, there was also my fault in Kim Taeyang’s actions.

Congenital apathy.

At 17.

After starting my first relationship at an age I couldn’t tell if it was early or late, followed by my first physical intimacy, I realized one thing.

Maybe I’m just not wired to feel sexual pleasure as well as others.

I didn’t completely lack the ability to feel it, but it seemed much weaker compared to others.

That’s why I hardly engaged in physical intimacy after that.

Due to the apathy, I didn’t show any particular reaction during physical intimacy, which often hurt the other person.

I thought it was better not to engage in physical intimacy than to hurt the other person.

Getting into exercise was also to overcome the apathy.

Exercise was said to help with apathy treatment.

Looking back now, all of this became the culprit of this incident.

Getting too into exercise and neglecting my boyfriend, and even refusing physical intimacy, eventually led Kim Taeyang to explode.

I blamed myself for it, and even though cheating was one thing, what was the point of filming and sending it to someone else?

The memories of defending my boyfriend on social media felt like a dark history.

And at the same time, I felt guilty in front of the man.

‘Because of me…’

Until Kim Taeyang intervened, this couple must have had a very deep relationship.

I could tell as soon as I entered this house.

Women’s items like hair straighteners, combs, stockings, etc., were scattered all over the man’s apartment.

Those traces felt like they were squeezing my heart.

So when the man said he would get revenge on Kim Taeyang by posting a video on social media, I even questioned if I had the right to stop him.

But he shamelessly said it anyway.

‘If you could bear with it…’

Even though I didn’t necessarily want to stop him from seeking revenge, I was afraid that my position of making money through social media would be compromised, so I indirectly prevented the man’s revenge.

However, the man accepted it without a fuss.

Instead, he came up with another plan.

He said he would return the favor he received.

Since I had already prevented his revenge once, I couldn’t refuse this either.

‘Rather than being exposed on social media…’

Physical intimacy wasn’t that significant to me, given my apathy.

It wasn’t like my body would deteriorate from a little physical intimacy, and in a way, it made me feel like I was paying for my sins, so even the guilt that lingered in my heart seemed to disappear.

Moreover, he said he wouldn’t go all the way. In other words, he wouldn’t go all the way.

So I agreed to cooperate with the man’s revenge.

‘I don’t have the right to demand such things.’

“I think it’s coming out well.”

“…”

Swallowing my saliva, I looked straight ahead.

Although I used to take pictures and videos every day and upload them to social media, it felt awkward to be filmed this time.

I guess this will be sent to Kim Taeyang.

What kind of reaction will he show?

Will he get angry? Or will he look at me with a blank expression due to apathy, feeling relieved?

The man finished setting up his phone and sat next to me.

It was a narrow sofa, but even considering that, the distance between our shoulders was enough to brush against each other. I was momentarily surprised and tried to move away to create some space, but soon stopped myself.

It was strange to react so strongly to such a small distance when I knew we would be doing more in the future anyway.

“So, shall we proceed?”

“…Yes.”

My mouth felt dry from nervous tension, and at the same time, my body felt tense.

It seemed that the tension was mutual, as we hesitated for a while before I placed my hand on his thigh.

This level of skinship didn’t bother me at all.

The touch moved from the thigh to the waist, and then up to the nape of the neck.

Eventually, it boldly reached towards the chest area.

And I felt relieved.

‘Ah, as expected.’

I felt nothing at all.

Just the sensation of the man’s large, rough hand touching me.

Honestly, I was a bit anxious.

What if I felt something being touched by a man who wasn’t my boyfriend?

…What if I started to hope for it to continue until the end?

But, of course, that didn’t happen.

My numbness remained unchanged.

The hand that was caressing my nape began to support my head.

And the man turned to face me.

Unless you were a fool, you couldn’t fail to understand what the man was about to do.

So, without realizing it, my expression momentarily twisted in disgust.

‘Kissing… I don’t want to…’

It wasn’t about wanting to save my first kiss for my boyfriend.

I just didn’t want it.

It felt suffocating, uncomfortable, and sometimes I could even smell unpleasant scents like cigarette smoke from the other person’s mouth.

While other forms of skinship could be enjoyable by observing the other person’s happy or excited reactions, kissing couldn’t be like that.

I closed my eyes and decided to just accept it.

Hoping it wouldn’t last long.

It wasn’t long before it was dark in front of my eyes.

His face must have gotten closer.

And our lips touched.

Again, I felt nothing.

Until then.

A hot, thick sensation seeped through our lips.

And in that moment, I opened my eyes, pushed the man away.

“W-what was that just now?”

“Excuse me?”

I was too flustered to speak properly.

It was just supposed to be a kiss.

But… I felt something.

It was a strange feeling.

My head felt fuzzy, and I felt a trembling sensation in my waist.

It was brief, but it felt good.

So, I was surprised.

It couldn’t be.

“No… no, it’s nothing.”

“Shall we continue?”

“Yes…”

This time, when the man approached again, I was the one pushing my face towards his.

I wasn’t being aggressive.

I was just curious.

I wanted to find out if the feeling from earlier was really triggered by the kiss.

This time, since both of us had our mouths slightly open, our tongues intertwined as soon as our lips touched.

“Ugh… haa… mmph.”

I couldn’t tell whose mouth was making that squelching sound.

I would twirl my tongue inside his mouth, and sometimes I would suck on the man’s tongue as if it were a piece of candy.

Unconsciously, I would turn my head or press my body closer to deepen the kiss.

And just like before, or maybe even more so this time, my head felt even hazier, my heart beating faster.

Not only that, but wherever the man’s rough hands touched, those areas felt like they were heating up, and what used to feel ordinary about the man’s scent or actions now felt provocative.

Even though I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t want to let go, swallowing and spitting out each other’s breath.

Initially, the man had been supporting my head, but now I was holding onto his head with my own hands.

No, it would have looked like I was embracing him if anyone else saw us.

That level of sensitivity meant a lot to her.

“Ah…”

So when the man gently pushed her away for a moment, ending the kiss, a sigh of disappointment escaped her lips without her realizing it.

She wanted to cling to him again right away.

“I can’t just keep kissing you.”

“…”

Saying that, the man began to caress her thigh again.

Just like he did at first.

But her reaction was different this time.

“Ah…”

Surprised by the sound that escaped her unintentionally, she covered her mouth with her own hand.

‘What’s happening? Why?’

It was just a thigh, but every touch made her body shiver, and when he gripped her toned thigh firmly, her mouth naturally opened.

Next were her shoulders and neck.

It wasn’t even a provocative touch, but a hot sigh escaped her.

And when he reached near her chest, her eyes began to blur, her body involuntarily squirming, adjusting her posture subtly to make it easier for him to touch her comfortably.

As his burning touch reached her chest.

“Wait, um… Ah… Ugh…”

“Are you okay?”

“Ah…”

“If it’s too much, should we stop here?”

“No, it’s not that…”

Her body was undergoing changes in that moment.

She was wet.

Sitting down, she could clearly feel it.

Even though she was numb to the touch of a stranger, she was wet.

A mix of unknown guilt and an overwhelming pleasure she had never felt before made her feel strange.

‘Is this why Taeyang cheated?’

She even had thoughts she shouldn’t have.

‘What am I thinking…’

‘No, this is helping the man get his revenge… I’m also a victim.’

It was revenge for ruining a well-established couple’s relationship.

Revenge for cheating on herself.

And a little bit of curiosity.

With all these factors combined, she decided to suggest something to the man a little earlier than planned.

“Um, can you finish it for me?”

The next day, Kim Taeyang received a video from his girlfriend.