episode_0002

I wrap myself in the blanket someone gave me and sit by the fire to warm my body, which is chilled by the cold wind. As I stare blankly at the burning firewood, my thoughts seem to come into focus a little.

‘Did I die and reincarnate? Where is this place? It seems so far removed from modern civilization. Was there such a place on Earth? Or is it even Earth?’

‘That was a tiger just now…? A leopard? I’ve never seen an animal like that at a zoo. Those flashing eyes… That flashing motorcycle… A traffic accident!’

‘And that breath… that smell… it’s exactly like the smell that Sooyoung’s cat gave me when it bit my nose…’

Memories of his past life unfold in his mind, going back to the time when he was holding onto a dead phone and leaning against a public phone booth and crying for a long time. When he turns around, he feels someone tapping his shoulder with a finger.

” Ray, are you feeling a little better? Would you like some of this? ”

He brings in a basket of food that looks like steamed buns. I remember eating it this afternoon, but it looks so exotic that I nod and pick one up.

‘My precious meat dumplings… I can’t even eat them… ‘

‘My wife and Yesol will find out that I’m dead. I wonder what will happen to them. ”

As I was taking a bite with my small mouth, I saw Latia, who had stopped crying, coming closer to the fire while holding the hand of a villager. As I was staring at her face, Latia glanced in my direction once in a while and then looked back at the floor. I wondered if she was looking at the bread in her hand.

” …Want to eat? ”

And he hands over the bowl that the villager gave him. Even though it is a small bowl, it is difficult to hold it without both hands. As he accepts it and watches her pick up one like himself and fiddle with it, Yesol’s face overlaps with hers, and he rests his chin on his hand and looks at Latia, wondering if his daughter, whom he has only seen through photos or video calls for several years, has grown up to that extent.

The large pupils of the eyes sparkled in the campfire, and the whites of the eyes, which had not yet lost their redness, stood out.

” Were you really scared? ”

Latia looks at me with a start and quickly rubs her eyes with her arm. Her face turns bright red and she responds so hastily that she spits out the bread she was eating.

” No, it’s not! ”

” Didn’t you cry loudly earlier? ”

I glanced down to see if a piece of bread had popped out of my mouth and landed on my boot.

” Ray, you were crying earlier too, right? ”

I think it’s natural for a child this young to be scared of an animal bigger than him, but it’s funny how he’s so embarrassed and doesn’t want to admit that he cried.

‘How old is he?’

“It’s okay to cry when you’re six years old”

“You’re seven? You’re six”

Latia jumped up and responded as if asking how he could say such insulting things to a seven-year-old girl. A one-year age difference is important to children. A year is a long time for five or six-year-olds.

‘You’re seven years old.’

Yesol spreads out both fingers, wondering how old she is. Then, to her surprise, she finds herself completely unable to remember how old her own daughter is.

‘Huh?’

” You idiot, don’t you know how to count? ”

Latia smiled brightly. The boy jumped as if those words were reprimanding him for being a father who didn’t even know the age of his precious, only child, whom he had only seen on TV.

” I know how to count..! I just forgot for a moment because my head hurt.”

He responds by blaming his daughter’s age on her past life. Then, Latia comes up close to him. She folds her outstretched fingers one by one.

” …five, six, seven, okay seven, do you understand now? You idiot”

As if showing off his lung capacity, he put his hands on his sides and looked at me with a proud look, while spacing out the space between his legs in a very annoying way. Ray remembered from that face that he had actually really hated Latia until early this evening. He poked her with a tree branch, pulled her hair, and ran away… Just like a boy interested in a girl.

But now, I don’t know if it’s because Latia reminds me of my own daughter, or because all my memories have returned and I’ve become more like an adult, but I’ve come to think of her as not such a bad girl. Above all, she did something so brave earlier. It’s amazing that a child like her has done something that even the old country would have found difficult to do.

” Thank you for earlier. ”

I express my gratitude without thinking. The more I think about it, the more thankful I feel.

” What… What is it… ”

Latia’s proud expression crumpled and she crossed her arms. It was no wonder, because Ray’s face reflected in the girl’s eyes left such a strong impression that it would be engraved as an image representing Latia’s childhood. The faint smile on her small face and the flickering light from the campfire.

Actually, that might have been the expression of a father who was thinking of his daughter, but it doesn’t matter because I will live my whole life without knowing that.

” Mom said… ”

” You have to protect the people you love? ”

This is the main repertoire of fairy tales in this town that you can hear until your ears are glued to them. Most of them convey similar lessons by just changing the story. If you ask them that way, they will think it is strange.

“No? Because I’m an idiot who can’t even count ”

And he jumps up and pinches Ray’s arm. ‘Ouch.’

” My mom calls me an idiot? ”

” Uh… that’s… not it. ”

Latia mumbled as she answered, then picked up another steamed bun and stuffed it into her mouth. It was her habit to stuff her mouth with something when she had nothing else to say. Ray, who had been sitting by the warm fire for a long time, was starting to feel sleepy and yawned. Latia, who had stopped crying as the tension had been relieved, also yawned.

“I’m going to sleep now.”

Ray jumped up from his seat, rolled up the blanket he was wrapping around himself, and placed it on the bed, shaking his butt as he spoke. Latia nodded at his words, though she wasn’t looking at him. She naturally went to the house in the direction her body remembered, but then suddenly turned around, thinking she should say hello before leaving.

” Let’s play together tomorrow too! ”

Latia blankly stares at Ray’s back as he turns around and leaves. Although not everyone remembers it, not only in childhood, but also in many cases, the formation or turning point of a person’s values or personality is a brief moment that is too short to notice.

That day, a layer of skin was peeled off in the heart of the brave seven-year-old girl Latia. She still couldn’t think of something as complicated as love, but she felt that she really wanted to see Ray’s eyes and that expression again today.

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” …Why do you keep looking this way? ”

Latia asks Ray, who is staring at her with sparkling eyes through a small window on the opposite wall.

” Are you being punished? ”

” Ugh.. If you’re going to tease me, then go away. ”

” My dad won’t let me leave my room all day today either. ”

Last night, Ray went home with his mouth wide open, and of course, his angry father was waiting for him. While talking about how many times he had told his sleepy son not to go into the mountain path in the middle of the night, what would happen if something happened when Mom wasn’t around, and how scared he was, Ray lowered his head and dug up a pile of dust by scraping the dirt floor with his boots.

When I dug my boot into the dust, the sole pattern was imprinted. I started playing around by making shapes by stamping footprints here and there, and then I was suddenly hugged by a handsome man who looked similar to Ray and was about 150cm tall. He was my father in this life, but he reminded me of my nephew who was going to be in middle school this year. I went into my room and fell asleep.

Ray’s father is currently hanging laundry in the yard while keeping an eye on his son, who is a total rascal, from coming out of his room. Ray, who is stuck in his room, occasionally looks at his father through the crack in the door and thinks about common sense in this world. Among the racial characteristics of the people in this town, including Ray, the men seem to be smaller than the women and are less adept at rough work.

From what I saw yesterday, all the people who went into the mountains to chase the beast that ran away bleeding were women, and Ray’s own mother also went out of the village to work. It seemed like his father was mostly devoted to housework, and I thought that it was a world where the positions of men and women in the world I knew were reversed.

Then, Ray, who was secretly curious about whether a woman or a man would give birth to a child, was worried about how he could ask a six-year-old-like question to resolve his curiosity. Even if it was a different world, it was natural that people would have difficulty discussing gender-related issues such as who would give birth to a child.

” Give me your hand. ”

As I was absentmindedly thinking, I heard Latia’s words coming from outside the window.

” Why? ”

” Give it to me quickly. ”

” No, I saw you catch that crawling bug earlier. ”

” Chi, ”

Ray thought that he looked like a really mischievous boy, with his eyes sparkling with playfulness and his lips sticking out. Of course, in this world, you can’t say that he’s a boy when you see that kind of thing.