episode_0001

Mother,

The chilly winter wind seems to be subsiding, and the warm sunlight is about to descend. March is also the season of tender sprouts blooming in spring.

While others may love this season of blooming flowers, your son can only feel bitter. You always preferred the winter when tangerines and oranges were plentiful.

Like you, I sincerely love the lonely season of winter, so it’s inevitable that my heart feels sorrowful. They say children resemble their parents, after all.

Even though many years have passed, I still vividly remember. It speaks of the gentle care of the red-haired woman who delicately peeled cold tangerine skins, carefully placed the fruit into the little boy’s mouth, and her considerate kindness.

I miss those days of my childhood. At that time, I was much smaller than you, Mother.

If I were to return this time, would you allow me into your embrace as you did back then? Your jokes about experiencing a man’s past life, the warm fireplace. If I could hear your gentle voice one last time while peeling a mandarin, I couldn’t ask for more happiness.

Haha, anyway, Mother, unnecessary chatter has gone on for too long. Rarely having sent letters, I seem to have become quite excited without realizing it.

It’s not like I have something specific to say. Just like when I was young, talking nonsense to you is all I can do, so even if you simply read this disorderly and clumsy letter, I would be grateful.

As you know, I am fundamentally an uneducated person. Oh, of course, it’s not that your education was wrong. I just preferred wandering outside rather than studying.

That’s why scribbling with a nimble pen feels more natural to me than swinging a heavy axe thousands of times. No matter how much of a writer I may be, I am still the offspring of the barbarians of the north, right? Therefore, it seems you will have to bear reading the immature contents of this letter.

By the time you read this letter, I will have already arrived at one of the Bayorun territories. It means there isn’t much time left to return to the castle. What wonderful news.

Somehow my steps feel light. If Mother hears what I’ve been up to, I can imagine her surprised expression, which makes me burst into laughter. I want to share these proud achievements as soon as possible. My hand holding the pen is restless, but I will endure. I want to receive praise after meeting face to face.

For now, I hope you understand only the clear fact that I have cut down the trash aiming for Mother with Bayorun’s axe. Even the noble ones with high noses act like mere beggars when they meet their end. It was quite an enjoyable time.

The stories I will tell are full of things that Mother will appreciate. It was a fitting end for the worms who dared to covet the flowers on the unreachable cliffs.

I lost one eye in the process, but it’s okay.

When I think about the treasure I will soon obtain, this is nothing.

So, Mother, there’s no need to be sad because your son has a scar on his face. There’s no need to suffer and agonize.

Just consider it a small insignia symbolizing Bayorun’s wildness.

Come to think of it, Mother, you often said to me, “Why do you make such a fuss? If there’s no need to suffer, then don’t.”

But, Mother, please listen to my story.

I have lived as Bayorun’s protege in the arms of the woman with crimson hair, living as I was given. I lived without knowing what suffering was. The most difficult thing, if I may call it that, was when Mother went into Father’s chamber. At that time, as a child, I reached my limit, unable to fathom Mother’s distress and wept.

I don’t know how I became so greedy. Perhaps it was from the moment I understood why Father took Mother to his chamber.

In order to have my mother, I swung an axe and wandered. Even to me, who is the perpetrator, it’s clear that your son isn’t just a normal crazy person. But what can I do? My heart is so clearly set on this path.

Just growing up as an upright young man, being born and raised by mother was reassuring and warm. It might have been somewhat difficult raising you, but it must have been truly satisfying. Having the option to hear such praises wouldn’t have been bad either.

However, as time passed working in the tangerine fields with mother, I couldn’t hide my restless heart anymore.

The girl who fluttered her bright red hair naively, emitting a fresh citrus scent, how beautiful she was. Your smile, shining in the sunlight, was unbelievably radiant. How lovely your virgin-like fair skin and red lips still are.

From the time I was born until now, having become an adult. The beauty of the queen managing the tangerine farm never sought any attention. Instead, it became more delicate and more splendid like a blooming flower. It’s even consideration and affection towards others.

The young boy has grown to be a giant surpassing his mother’s height. However, the heart of the boy turned adult is not much different from when he was young.

No, rather, it seems that after truly realizing this feeling, the gap in the heart has deepened even more. Even now, every time I face mother, my heart flutters like a man who fell in love at first sight.

The memories of walking through the tangerine farm with the red-haired girl and the time spent facing the flowers that bloomed on the outskirts felt like paradise to me. Just being able to walk the land with your graceful smile is enough for me, but the world wouldn’t leave you alone.

So, I’ve made up my mind. To bring down the judgment of the scourge upon those who commit unforgivable sins. And upon the beasts who have their sights on my mother.

Mother, I have no dreams. I don’t possess wisdom or determination to boast about. But I don’t intend to act foolishly like a father who leaves the condemned to their fate.

I’m just doing my duty. It’s about preserving the belief in protecting the queen of the orange field who gave birth to me. I’ve just added a tiny desire here. Please don’t look at me like an animal and drink pussy.

No matter how barbaric one may be, if they receive hateful looks toward the woman they love, they can only hang their head in pity.

Come to think of it, these days it seems like you’re getting more distant, and my son’s worries are increasing day by day. How much worry do you carry that makes your face contort? How much pain causes tears to fall occasionally? When you were always with me, didn’t you show only a delicate and lovely smile like a girl?

But lately, when facing me, you grimace in agony and turn your head away.

Actually, I understand why my mother acts this way. As a parent, such reactions are natural. But mother, please try to understand even a little bit of your son’s feelings that have no choice but to be like this.

I’ve endured decades. Whether it’s the blood of a barbarian or if I was originally such a person, my patience has reached its limit. No woman in the empire can truly make me smile. There is no woman who cherishes and loves me as much as you do.

Those blinded by love are so foolish. To the extent that nothing else is visible.

You, unlike me, are a woman with a heart as vast as the ocean, so I believe you will embrace even the wretched heart of your son. This must be very unfamiliar and bewildering for you. It’s just a simple moral aversion, and time will quickly resolve it.

To others, you seemed happier than anyone else. You were compassionate and full of inner peace. I hope you can cast off the chains of your heart soon and accept me. And I hope you can smile at me like you used to back then.

I do not know the stern ethics and laws created by the noble gentlemen of the empire. No, there is no need to understand when considering what I am about to do. A despicable fledgling who mourns his mother does not seek others’ understanding. Those who oppose this will be torn apart with the ax of a savage.

I will bestow recognition and justice on only one person in this world. If there is anything additional, it will all be about how to discipline the beasts who covet my one and only treasure. The warning to step back is the only mercy I bestow upon them. It is mostly after the ax strikes their heads that they understand, but that’s how it goes.

Is there any particular reason why your son is suffering like this? It’s to avoid repeating the mistakes he didn’t understand when he was young. I realized too late as a child that relieving one of my mother’s worries is more noble than eating a single piece of orange flesh. This past has become a lump in my heart and a source of regret.

So, these acts of murder are voluntary on my part, so there is no need for you to worry greatly, Mother. I find it truly disgusting to face those wretched bastards moving and living in front of my eyes.

…

Oh, I ended up writing rough words that should not be spoken from the position of a man who shows compassion. Haha, it’s not easy for me to suppress such emotions due to my innate savagery. But as much as I hate them, it also means I cherish you, Mother, so please understand.

Ah! Come to think of it, I forgot to write down this story.

Mother. Do you remember the promise we made last winter? It’s about the promise to go on a picnic outside the peaceful land when the flowers bloom in spring.

If you want to keep the simple promise we made, holding each other’s fingers, you shouldn’t try to run away this time. Haven’t you recently fled inland with a horse? I went through a lot to bring you back then.

Of course, my mother, who never gives up, will easily abandon the promises she made with me and try to leave.

Well, I can’t just confine my mother to keep my duty as a son.

But, mother, I hope you understand this much.

As the act of coming to find you is repeated, I feel that I will become twisted by the accumulating resentment without even realizing it.

So please refrain from doing so this time.

You always said, “The reason parents live is to promote their children’s happiness.”

Even this statement must not be a lie, right? After all, you’ve taken care of me for decades. This must be true at least.

Reading this letter means facing all of my feelings, so I believe you won’t leave me alone this time.

Since childhood, didn’t you say you would do anything if I wanted something?

Right?

So, mother.

No…

Darine.

Please, don’t do anything and just wait quietly in bed.

– To my one and only, Fiancée