episode_0001

No matter how many times I do it, an unfamiliar feeling of nausea comes.

Whenever I returned to the past, I felt dizzy, as if I had turned an elephant’s trunk 400 times in place without stopping.

In the end, I ran to the bathroom, put my face in the toilet, and vomited out what was inside.

Wow!

“What is it? Are you searching now?”

My brother’s voice is heard every time I return.

It was a constant and aggressive tone, but it was also something I really wanted to hear.

I raised my head slightly and made eye contact with my brother, who was lying comfortably on the sofa.

“No..”

When I looked at my brother’s face, tears welled up in my eyes as I remembered the image of my brother, who no longer exists in my memory, but who had taken the hit on my behalf that I could not have avoided a few minutes ago.

“I should die.. but I don’t die and keep…”

Unable to continue speaking, I put my face down in the toilet and started crying.

“What, why..? What is it? What’s going on..?”

My older brother, who was embarrassed to see me suddenly crying bitterly, rushed over from the sofa and patted my back.

“Surely the kids are bothering you again? These bastards are still fucking this even as adults?”

I am once again needlessly touched by your words of concern for me.

” Come on. ”

Before I knew it, my brother blew my nose on the tissue he brought to my nose and spoke as if complaining.

“I’m not a kid..”

“The kid who was complaining about something up until now is a kid.”

“Oh, no!”

“Even so, why did something happen?”

“…”

Is it possible to say it?

“If someone bothers you again, just tell them and I will kill them.”

How can I say this?

“I am the only one in the whole world who can bother you.”

I was saved several times by the man in front of me.

“By any chance… did you contact your mom?”

What I learned after living through a time when I couldn’t help but be immature

“..Don’t answer the call. But if you keep calling, leave and I’ll answer the phone.”

Because the time my brother sacrificed for me was so noble.

“You won’t answer?”

How could I not love him after realizing all of this?

“I’m sorry..”

After I stopped crying, I apologized to him.

“Yes, I should be sorry. Do I have to accept your complaints about what I did wrong?”

“That’s right, I’m sorry…”

When I heard my brother’s words, tears welled up again and I began to cry once again.

“Hey, hey! Oh, it’s really a joke. It’s a joke. Oh, I’m sorry. Hey, no. Wow, Jeong Soo-yeon, why are you crying..!”

.

I was in the second year of middle school when I came to this house.

At that time, my mother fell in love with Jeon Cheon-hwi’s brother’s father and remarried.

Even as a daughter, my mom was trash.

Even though she had a husband, she had two or three boyfriends at a time, and even after her father passed away, she didn’t stop making new boyfriends and even succeeded in remarrying, so it seemed like she was definitely trash.

“Suyeon’s mother remarries.”

“Yes? With whom..?”

“You’ll have a handsome dad. You said there’s a boy in that house too, right? Since he is 3 years older than you, Sooyeon will have an older brother now, right?”

No matter how trashy she was, she was still a mother.

How can you hate your mother who gave birth to you and raised you?

I just hoped that my mother would be happy this time by remarrying a man who was 100% in her heart.

.

He was handsome.

That was my first impression of my brother.

All other impressions were negative.

It was my older brother who didn’t say a word to me even while my mom was talking with the boy’s dad.

“Hello.”

Still, we have to spend our whole lives as family from now on, so I said hello first because I couldn’t just stay there without saying anything.

“Yes.”

That was the end.

A cold voice answered, as if telling me not to ask any more questions.

After that we didn’t have any conversation.

We didn’t even ask how old each other was, and we didn’t even have obvious conversations like what foods we like or what hobbies we have.

A handsome but not cheap guy.

That was my first meeting with him and my first impression of him.

We didn’t talk separately until one year, when I was in my third year of middle school.

All we do is say hello when we come into each other’s house.

.

As the weather slowly got colder and I was preparing for final exams, the father of my older brother, my mother’s remarried partner, passed away.

It was a car accident.

My brother’s father, who was returning home from work after buying his son’s favorite market chicken, crashed into the truck of a drunk driver and died.

My brother didn’t cry that day.

In the past, it seemed strange that my brother didn’t cry, but now I realized that in fact, my brother couldn’t cry even if he wanted to.

When my father passed away, the burden of responsibility for me and my mother passed on to a boy who was only a senior in high school.

I wouldn’t have been able to cry because of that burden.

In my situation, my brother’s father was not my father, and I had already lost my father before, so I calmly passed over the death of my second father.

The death insurance money from my brother’s father was a huge sum of money for me, a third-year middle school student.

However, I couldn’t do that to my mother and brother.

When I was immature, I often stole money from my brother’s wallet and used it to save a large amount of money.

Since I didn’t get caught each time, I just thought my brother was stupid for not noticing, but I remember him pretending not to notice even though he knew.

It was really like that.

They don’t talk much, and they don’t say anything even when their younger brother steals money, so their relationship is just awkward.

We really had that kind of relationship, and there was an incident where our relationship became as close as real siblings.

.

On the way home after final exams.

“Hey Jeong Soo-yeon, you come to me.”

A group of kids, as they say, called me out to the alley.

“I don’t have enough money for a date with Jagi this month, so please ‘lend’ me 50,000 won~.”

1. A gangster female student whose name has been around for so long that I can’t even remember it anymore.

They said they were always borrowing money, but they never paid it back.

Still, I didn’t really care.

After my brother’s father passed away, my mother gave me a lot of pocket money, and I sometimes stole money from my brother’s wallet, so I had a lot of money to spare.

“Okay.”

After I graduated soon anyway, I didn’t want to get involved with these guys I didn’t even see any more, so I paid the money and promised myself that I wouldn’t go to school in this alley until I graduated.

I made eye contact with my older brother who was passing by in the alley.

When our eyes met, I flinched unconsciously and stopped with my hand in my wallet.

Because I am also human, I was feeling guilty.

at that time.

“Hey? What are you doing?”

As I paused with my hand in my wallet, female students 1 and 2 in the group started giving me their wallets.

“I see you got 50,000 won there, so what are you doing without taking it out~?”

“Hurry up and ‘borrow’ us. We’ll all pay it back later. Is it because it’s a waste?”

“No, it’s not like that in particular..”

Now that I think about it, it doesn’t have much to do with my brother.

I’m being ripped off, and of course I stole money from my brother, but he probably doesn’t know that.

at that time.

“Isn’t there a lot of money because you searched for your stepdad recently?”

Female student 2, whose name and face I don’t remember, started saying things that crossed the line.

I think they probably thought I was making fun of them because I wasn’t giving them money.

“Let’s give it to Suyeon quickly, stop wasting time~”

“Well, do you want to follow your stepdad too?”

A group of male and female students began to laugh.

Normally, I would have just paid the money and left, but I couldn’t do that.

I felt so sorry for my brother whose comments crossed the line that I shouldn’t have to listen to, so I couldn’t give him this money.

“Pay back the money I lent you first..”

Perhaps that was why, without even realizing it, I rebelled against those Iljin bastards for the first time.

“What?”

“What the fuck is funny. We’re not paying back?”

“It would be perfect if I just borrowed my entire wallet.”

At that time, a man who looked like the leader of a group of people walked out from the innermost corner of the alley and snatched my wallet.

“Just give it to the bitch, don’t give it to her after being beaten.”

“Turn it…”

I couldn’t continue asking for it back.

The man who took the wallet was already lying on the ground, and the older brother who was on top of him started punching the bully man in the face.

A bloody sound rang out.

Not only the sound but also the blood that came out from the gangster’s face spread out.

My older brother must have hit the bully about 7 times when other male students around him started to use violence towards one of them.

After that it was a dog fight.

The sight of my brother at that time was literally that of an ‘evil spirit.’

It has a face with an infinitely angry expression, and no matter how many times it gets hit, it does not fall down and charges at the opponent as if it were going to kill them.

How much time had passed before they stopped fighting?

My brother took my wallet, but now he started strangling the boy who was lying down.

Kek…Kek…

“Die…fuck you.”

With that one word, everyone else who was attacking my brother stopped.

Keck…

“Just die, you damn bastard”

It was such a scary sight.

Even I, who I thought was on the same side, was afraid when I saw my brother, but I wonder what he would look like to the other members of the group.

“Stop..! Stop it, oppa!”

Maybe that was the first time.

The day I truly called that man my brother.

That must have been the first day.